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PP P Li 2 l................................................ Think about it. Most of us are rushing toward senior citizenship so fast we barely have time to stop and pull up our support hose. And there are a lot more of us than them. Fair is fair â€" why shouldn‘t the old get Therefore, I say we have no choice. I say we go the other way. So today, I‘m introducing the allâ€" new Ye Olde Offenders Act. Yes, there are still those in our society, walking upright and using manual dexterity, who believe that the availability of guns and the proâ€" tection of young criminals from prosecution are pretty good ideas. Police believe they would have caught him sooner, but they were forbidden to enlist the help of the public. Why? The Young Offenders Act. They could not release the photo and name of this potential killer because he is protected by law. ome time ago in Toronto, S where sneeze guards at salad bars are being replaced with bulletâ€"proof glass, they had a 17â€" yearâ€"old kid running around shootâ€" ing people. He shot four people before the cops could collar him. The hole in the wall of the heart gang " COMMENT Man, standing in town fountain whizzing: "Look at this officer â€" Ye Olde Offenders Act: anybody over the age of 55 will, henceforth, be able to take a leek in a public fountain any damn day of the week, and there isn‘t anything, anybody can do about it. the_gan}g break as the young PuUD LIVE AND IN PERSON! Iroquois Shore Rd. Location Sunday, August 28" â€" 2:00pm N i i hi ts 3. hi e d 6A d3 17 dA 4 2 B 200 1 d AWARDS C Wall plaques and cash awards to the FIRST OVERALL (FEMALE MALE) All participants must pick up their numbers before 8:30 on the day of the race. Come dressed to run. Limited showers for out of town runners. No locker facilities. Childrens events after Family 2km Walk. Face Painting; Balloons: Games. EIDCT dan C 2 rrunir. COURSE IS FLAT LOOP, WITH WATER STATIONS AT THE 4km AND 7 km POINTS AMADNC I‘m the Golden Jet!" Officer: "Are you doing what I wE _ OF OAKVILLE CROWING TOGETHER 1st Annual 10km Fun Fit Run 2km Family Walk 2â€"___2 2 * UN hun 2km E: IN 10 DAyS, 14 Hours, 52 MINUTES AND _ UaMgo. FIRST OVERALL. MALE FEMALE: * $100.00 casH â€" Donated by Dr. FP. Invidiata SECOND OVERALL MALE FEMALE: * $75.00 Merchandise Certificate 5 FIRST OVERALL MALE FEMALE: * $50.00 Merchandise Certificate * Donated by Hemedale Mall CATEGORIES * 15â€"19 * 20â€"24 * 25â€"29 * 30â€"34 * 40â€"44 * 45â€"49 * 50â€"54 * * FEMALE 55 and over * MALE 55 â€"59 * 60 and over * WHEELCHAIR * Mail Completed Entry Form with Fee and Signed Waiver to: [SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 1994 ] Officer: "Come over here. How old are you?" Man: "Fiftyâ€"six." Officer: "Hold out your wrist. SLAP!...Okay you can go." think you‘re doing?" Man, dumping large box of Tide into water: "Yeah but look...I‘m cleaning it up! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." Dr. Frank Invidiata. . §s 25 gi Sponsored by JM(__)OMAE __ rewae o q OUQ Sun|set *Sun. Noon to 5:00 pm nuum-mmm You see, The Young Offenders Act assumes that anybody under the You want to check 40 items through the 8â€"itemâ€"orâ€"less counter. Be my guest. What are they going to do? Call a cop? Ye Olde Offenders Act â€" you‘re gonna love it. Bridge Rebecca (See ‘Law‘ page 8) by Steve Nease Wildwood Start D Finish