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12 - The Oakville Beaver, Friday December 8, 2006 www.oakvillebeaver.com Equality best way to eliminate violence By Angela Blackburn OAKVILLE BEAVER STAFF We must not only ask what we as a society can do to prevent violence against women, but what we ourselves will do. That was the message at a candlelight vigil at The Galaxy Club, Wednesday night in memory of the victims of the Dec. 6, 1989 Montreal Massacre. It was at 5 p.m. 17 years ago when a gunman opened fire with a semi-automatic rifle killing 14 female engineering students and injuring 13 others. He did so after separating women from men at Montreal's Ecole Polytechnique and proclaiming his hatred of feminists. The 14 murdered women were Geneviève Bergeron, aged 21; Hélène Colgan, 23; Nathalie Croteau, 23; Barbara Daigneault, 22; AnneMarie Edward, 21; Maud Haviernick, 29; Barbara Maria Klucznik, 31; Maryse Leclair, 23; LIESA KORTMANN / OAKVILLE BEAVER Annie St.-Arneault, 23; Michèle Richard, 21; Maryse Laganière, 25; Anne-Marie Lemay, 22; THE CHALLENGE: At Wednesday's CAW Local 707 Women's Committee seventh annual Sonia Pelletier, 28; and Candlelight Vigil to remember the 14 women who lost their lives to violence in the Montreal Annie Turcotte, aged 21. Massacre of Dec. 6, 1980 at Montreal's Ecole Polytechnique, Oakville resident Julie Pehar challenged Vigil guest speaker Julie Pehar credited the those attending to speak up against inequity, in many forms. nearly 100 who attended the vigil for being example. A moment of silence is also observed at the there. Pehar issued her challenge from the podium plant at 11 a.m., according to Rita Thompson, "It says a lot about who you are," she said. above a CAW banner that read "Never Forget." the Local's Employment Equity Representative It was the seventh annual candlelight vigil The long-time Oakville resident is and Women's Advocate. hosted by the Canadian Autoworkers' Union Community Co-ordinator of Peel Sexual "Violence against women cannot be elimi(CAW) Local 707's Women's Committee. Assault, a program operated by Trillium Health nated by the bargaining table alone," said All in attendance, mostly employees of the Centres. Pehar is also former Education Co- Dawson. Ford Motor Company in Oakville, mourned the ordinator of Oakville-based Sexual Assault and Thompson, in her address Wednesday, noted 14 women killed, as well as others killed or Violence Intervention the Oct. 2, 2006 shooting at injured, by the hand of violence. Services of Halton (SAVIS) an Amish school in More than a dozen of their children, both and a board member of the Pennsylvania in which a lone young and adult, lit 14 candles to remember Halton Organization for gunman separated young those slain. Pride and Education female and male students A 15th candle was lit to remember others (HOPE). then proceeded to bind and around the world who have died because of vioOf the young women then shoot the young girls lence against women, including the late Kristen slain in Montreal -- most execution style. French and Lesley Mahaffy. were in their early 20s -- "Not much has changed," Billy O'Neill, 32, lit a candle Wednesday. CAW member Karen she said. "It was a great honour. I was five when my Dawson said, "Their only Yet, Pehar noted -- even mom left my first father who was an abusive crime was being enrolled in while quoting police statistics man. She just passed away this year and I know an engineering program about sexual offenders and it took a lot of strength for her to walk away that was predominantly domestic abuse that she estifrom that," said O'Neill fighting back tears. male." mates puts Halton on par Rita Thompson Hamilton college student Stefanie Tousignant, Dawson outlined gains in with the rest of the country 18, also lit a candle Wednesday. Her dad works preventing violence against women the CAW indicating more change is needed -- that gains at Ford. has achieved through collective bargaining. have been made. "I felt I should participate out of respect for At the Oakville Ford assembly plant all Pehar challenged those at the vigil, given the women who lost their lives," she said, employees wear a white ribbon for the day on their awareness by their very attendance to take adding it also shows leadership to participate. Dec. 6, symbolic of ending violence against their knowledge forward and speak up about all Pehar challenged those at the vigil to make women. types of inequities. a difference by speaking up and setting an Pehar, who personally believes violence against women will not end until equality between men and women is achieved, spoke of not only sexism, but other "isms" such as ageism, racism, classism and other discrimination against the disabled, Aboriginals, the young, lesbians and gays. While Thompson reviewed the horrible damage experienced by children who witness abuse and then read the poem, Children Learn What They Live, Pehar tipped her hat to the resilience and courage of abuse survivors with whom she works and the professionalism of front-line service providers like police, hospitals, counsellors and more. Pehar said awareness to the "isms" is a double-edged sword because she said once someone has that awareness they should use it. She noted we don't always do a good job of it -- admitting she even bit her tongue when her son's high school coach called her son's team "girls" upon losing a game. Her son begged her not to argue. She also had another son soon to attend the school. "I regret that now," admitted Pehar whose family is used to her penning letters or speaking up about "isms." Pehar read what could have been a letter from the young women slain in Montreal -- outlining their names, ages and studies -- and contrasted it against a letter outlining the life of the gunman, one of abuse perpetrated by his father against his mother and himself, and his failed goals to join the army and attend the University of Montreal. Pehar also took her concerns into the information age noting parents should be aware that many of the so-called "isms," including sexism has been carried forward to the Internet. She told parents to be aware of how and with whom youths are communicating via technology and questioned the monikers being used such as bnaughty, hotgymprincess and betterthansex. Pehar asked parents that if at any time the telephone rang and a young caller left those names for a return call, "Wouldn't you just go crazy?" Recognizing the generation gap when it comes to parents and techno-savvy youths, Pehar said calling things for what they are is still a parental responsibility -- as it is as we go about our daily lives. -- Angela Blackburn can be reached at angela@oakvillebeaver.com. Know your limit, play within it!