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www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver, Wednesday November 28, 2007 - 33 Shifra Home best-kept secret in Halton By Tim Whitnell SPECIAL TO THE BEAVER Her special birthday was celebrated among people who would have been considered strangers only a few months ago, but Kelly is as happy as she could expect to be since she is now 16, single and pregnant. Kelly (not her real name) is one of two teenagers currently staying at Shifra Home, a unique residence in Burlington for unmarried young women who have nowhere to turn for accommodation and support while pregnant. ··· Shifra Home is a Christ-centred charity that is the first and only such maternity residence in Halton. There are similar homes outside the region -- St. Martin's Manor in Hamilton and Vita Manor in Mississauga. Shifra means beautiful in Hebrew and was the name of a midwife in the Bible (Book of Exodus) who protected and nurtured life. Frightened and alone -- the home's mandate is to provide a safe haven for pregnant young women with support for the baby and parents. It is designed to assist residents, regardless of religion in making informed decisions between parenting and adoption; it also offers programs and support to young fathers. Lisa Hoekstra, Shifra Home's director of community relations, recalled a relative of hers was in a situation similar to Shifra's residents 15 years ago. "I had a niece who was pregnant at 14. She kept her baby and is now a mother of three and a foster parent. She is a solid person and I see what support did for her," which in that case came from her family. Shifra officials say there are approximately 200 teen pregnancies in Halton every year. "Many young women and their boyfriends lack the support and resources to have and care for a baby. Many feel frightened and alone and conclude they have no choice but to terminate the pregnancy. As a result, only about 69 of the 200 pregnancies are carried through to the birth of the baby," said Hoekstra. She feels Shifra is the best-kept secret in Halton. "I went to seven churches in Burlington and none of them knew about us," said Hoekstra. However, a church parish that wished to remain anonymous did donate $10,000 to the home through the Change 4 Life baby bottle campaign. Shifra Home operates on an annual budget of $275,000 but Hoekstra said an ideal figure would be $345,000. It receives money from the provincial gov- "I am keeping the baby. I hope to get into housing, my own place, and go to school until I graduate, that's one of my No. 1 things right now." Kelly, Shifra Home resident ernment through the Trillium Foundation; it is in the second year of a three-year grant that currently pays $165,000. Shifra's biggest fundraiser is an annual gala, which garnered $12,000 this past March. The converted home opened in August 2006. It can accommodate up to six women and their babies and is seeking certification to house up to eight pregnant females aged 12-21. Eight women aged 15-20 have gone through Shifra Home to date. Shifra offers life skills training and other support during pregnancy and for a period after the birth of the baby. Standard practice is to have the mother-to-be in the home at least three months prior to giving birth and another three months post-partum. In addition to Shifra's on-site residential support workers, whom they can talk to at any time for help or advice, the female residents also receive monthly visits from a public health nurse. There is also access to the Healthy Babies, Healthy Children program offered through Halton Region for up to three years. It's not just the young mothers who are aided by Shifra Home. "Some of the programs that we offer include parents, boyfriends or close friends; we are also open to counselling them as a family," said Carrie Hasenack, director of residential services at Shifra. Getting the biological father/boyfriends involved is important, said Hoekstra. "What excited me about Shifra Home was the opportunity to help young dads." They must undergo a criminal background check if they want to be involved with their girlfriend through Shifra. At Shifra, different workshops are available to the pregnant females. They are expected to participate in what is offered, like prenatal classes. Staff and volunteers are there to guide them but not do everything for them. "I'm all about the tough love for the girls and learning independence," said Hasenack, who has a university degree in psychology and several crisis management certificates. "They need to pay room and board and we go by Ontario Works (income assistance levels), which might cover about $340 per month," far short of the estimated $2,000 per month it costs to house one young woman and her baby, Hasenack noted. "If they can't pay, they are expected to do volunteer work or go to school," besides doing their own laundry, cooking and cleanup. "We want them to learn how to budget. We do grocery shopping and meal planning with them," added Hasenack. She said they are not there to judge the young women, but Hasenack sometimes has a hard time holding her tongue about some parents. "If you have a (pregnant) 12 year old, maybe you should look at how you are parenting." ··· On her second day as a 16 year old, Kelly, who's nearly five months pregnant and due next April, reflected on how she arrived at Shifra Home. "I had no idea; it was a shock to me," she said of finding out in the summer she was pregnant at 15. "It was kind of scary at first, now I'm more excited than anything," she said. The Burlington resident had been attending a local high school but was expelled in Grade 9 for poor attendance. Kelly was recommended to Shifra Home by a youth counsellor with Bridging the Gap, a subgroup of Transitions for Youth in Halton. "I love it here. I like the staff. It's a very safe environment to be in." When she wants to relate to someone who knows intimately what she's feeling, Kelly occasionally talks to Shifra's other teen resident, a 19-year-old Oakville woman who is expecting her baby in late January. "She's already gone through the stages that I'm going through now. I watch her belly getting kicked and it makes me excited and I want my baby to do that. I'm excited. I want mine to be here now." Kelly says she fells little flutters in her stomach and believes it's the baby. As far as the queasiness or morning sickness many pregnant women experience, she says she's had none. "People say it's coming, don't worry," she smiles. Kelly says the baby's father, who is a few years older than her, has been with her for a couple of years and supportive of her pregnancy from the outset. "We talk and see each other almost every day. He was shocked when I first told him but really happy from the start." As far as her baby's future, Kelly says she wants it to be with her. "I am keeping the baby. I hope to get into housing, my own place, and go to school until I graduate, that's one of my No. 1 things right now." For more information about Shifra Home, visit www.shifrahomes.com or call 905-681-9633. LIESA KORTMANN / OAKVILLE BEAVER SAFE HAVEN: A pregnant young woman who is a temporary resident of Shifra Home, a residence for young, single mothers or mothers-to-be, in one of the rooms that is available at the home. SAVE BIG Ultramatic's First-Ever Warehouse Sale! OWN CANADA'S BEST ADJUSTABLE BED! Ultramatic is clearing excess inventory at its Burlington warehouse. 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