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6- The Oakville Beaver Weekend, Saturday May 24, 2008 www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver 467 Speers Rd., Oakville Ont. L6K 3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5567 Classified Advertising: 905-632-4440 Circulation: 845-9742 The Oakville Beaver is a member of the Ontario Press Council. The council is located at 80 Gould St., Suite 206, Toronto, Ont., M5B 2M7. Phone (416) 340-1981. Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of advertising space occupied by the erroneous item, together with a reasonable allowance for signature, will not be charged for, but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the applicable rate.The publisher reserves the right to categorize advertisements or decline. Editorial and advertising content of the Oakville Beaver is protected by copyright. Unauthorized use is prohibited. Commentary Guest Columnist Tory MPP believes premier is out of touch Ted Chudleigh, Halton MPP ately, our premier seems to be a bit disconnected with reality. Our economy is spiralling down. Jobs are leaking away, and with them people and businesses are leaving the province. Our economic growth is expected to be last among provinces in Canada, again. We are on the verge of the inconceivable -- being a have-not province in Confederation. And yet, Premier Dalton McGuinty amuses himself by talking about pulling the Lord's Prayer from the proceedings at Queen's Park. His government introduces an animal rights bill, which insists that locally-funded animal shelters, many with long independent histories, can no longer call themselves an SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) or humane society. Ontario is marching into historic have-not status and becoming the poor cousins of Confederation and Premier McGuinty refuses to say his prayers and picks a fight with animal lovers? Is this rational? It doesn't stop there. I recently asked him a question in the Legislature regarding his mention to the press of a Fiat auto assembly plant opening in Ontario. He responded that Opposition members of Legislature should be singing from the same song book as the government in support of potential business deals. There's a link to video of this exchange at www.tedchudleigh.com That response is delusional on several levels. First, there is no plan for Fiat to open an assembly plant; the premier was simply inventing a counterweight to blunt the bad news of 900 layoffs at General Motors in Oshawa. Second, it is the Opposition's role to vet government action and policy to help improve it. Singing from the sheet music is the government's job, not mine. Third, Mr. McGuinty simply didn't answer the question and wandered off into some never-never land, disconnected from the cut and thrust of debate. Question Period used to be a marvel. It's an hour where members are provided the opportunity to ask the premier or government ministers direct questions. However, it has devolved into farce. Questions are asked, often attached to a stinging rebuke, and answers are feelgood government news, usually only slightly related to the question at hand. I ask a question about hospital construction plans in Halton, I get an answer about an increase in hip replacement surgery across the GTA. I ask about a Fiat plant, the premier talks about singing in tune. I ask about . . . well, you get it. Kipling's famous line, "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you," reminds us to be strong in the face of adversity. Kipling, however does not note the consequences of failing to keep one's head in turbulent times. "If you can keep your head . . . . you'll be a man," according to Kipling. I'm not sure what Kipling would think of our premier, given that he seems to be losing his. Ted Chudleigh NEIL OLIVER Publisher DAVID HARVEY General Manager JILL DAVIS Editor in Chief ROD JERRED Managing Editor DANIEL BAIRD Advertising Director RIZIERO VERTOLLI Photography Director SANDY PARE Business Manager Metroland Media Group Ltd. includes: Ajax/Pickering News Advertiser, Alliston Herald/Courier, Arthur Enterprise News, Barrie Advance, Caledon Enterprise, Brampton Guardian, Burlington Post, Burlington Shopping News, City Parent, Collingwood/Wasaga Connection, East York Mirror, Erin Advocate/Country Routes, Etobicoke Guardian, Flamborough Review, Georgetown Independent/Acton Free Press, Harriston Review, Huronia Business Times, Lindsay This Week, Markham Economist & Sun, Midland/Penetanguishine Mirror, Milton MARK DILLS Director of Production MANUEL GARCIA Production Manager CHARLENE HALL Director of Distribution ALEXANDRIA ANCHOR Circ. Manager WEBSITE oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver is a division of IAN OLIVER Group Publisher Media Group Ltd. Canadian Champion, Milton Shopping News, Mississauga Business Times, Mississauga News, Napanee Guide, Newmarket/Aurora EraBanner, Northumberland News, North York Mirror, Oakville Beaver, Oakville Shopping News, Oldtimers Hockey News, Orillia Today, Oshawa/Whitby/Clarington Port Perry This Week, Owen Sound Tribune, Palmerston Observer, Peterborough This Week, Picton County Guide, Richmond Hill/Thornhill/Vaughan Liberal, Scarborough Mirror, Stouffville/Uxbridge Tribune, Forever Young, City of York Guardian RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: Ontario Community Newspapers Association Canadian Community Newspapers Association Suburban Newspapers of America L THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FOR: United Way of Oakville TV AUCTION The birthday girl is old and amazing and smells like cheese O n the morning she celebrated her 14th birthday -- and turned 98-years-old (if my advanced math is correct) -- Franny rose from her bed at an ungodly hour, stretched, laboured across the floor on stiff, arthritic legs, and promptly walked headlong into the television stand. Ricocheting off the stand, she then clunked her jaw on an end table. You know, it ain't easy getting old. My wife's grandmother adopted that very sentiment as her often-voiced maxim over the final years of her life. It's not easy, she would say, being 70, or 74 or whatever age she happened to be at the time. And, I believe, she was right. It ain't easy. Now, as we watch our Fran seemingly age daily before our eyes, we can add to the maxim: we can say that it ain't easy getting old, and it's hard as hell becoming an old dog -- and not solely because dogs age at an acknowledged, accelerated rate of seven years to every one human year. Anyway, birthday wishes are obviously in order: Happy 14th birthday, Fran! Happy 98th! Ninety-eight. Wow. Having managed to reach such an advanced age, I think it's appropriate to take a little time, examine this Wonder Dog, and take stock. Hmmm. Well, she can't really see, can't really hear, can't really smell, long ago lost the majority of her marbles, oh, and she smells, or so our kids say, like cheese. Parmesan cheese, to be precise. Honestly, getting a stiff whiff of the old girl can pretty much turn you off spaghetti for life. Thankfully, she only occasionally uses the expensive area rug in the front hall as her own private latrine, and she's still breathing, albeit asthmatically. Andy Juniper Strangely enough, many of her (apparently selective) afflictions can disappear with the twist of a canopener cutting into a can of her favorite food, tuna. You tell me: how can a dog that is mostly deaf and blind and has no sense of smell -- you can balance a treat on her nose and she won't know it's there unless alerted by the weight -- instantly know when a can of tuna is being opened three rooms away and come running (well, almost running)? I'd also ask why is a dog so enamoured with tuna, but she has always been. I guess she's a feline canine. There are days when we think that this tough old girl will never surrender, never leave us for The Great Doghouse in the Sky. There are other days when we think the end may be near. Once or twice our vet has intimated that she may not be long for this world. For her part, Fran seems to be embracing however much life she has left. How else to explain why she click-clickclicks down the hardwood hallway each morning long before dawn and rousts me from my slumber, if not to wrench the most out of the day? If I don't immediately jump up and tend to her needs, she sits beside the bed and licks herself, loudly. She'll do the loud lick for however long it takes to get me to stagger out of bed, let her out and get her breakfast which, most mornings, she then haughtily refuses to eat. It's sad that a dog's lifespan is so short. For a dog to make it to 15 is special, to 17 is remarkable, and to 20, well, that could be a record, depending on the breed. Fifteen, 17, 20? Man, I've got knee injuries older than that. Franny is a great dog. According to my wife, who is not at all biased, Franny is simply "the best." It's a fact we keep forefront in our minds as she slides down the slope of senility, and bounces off furniture as she tries to navigate her way through the minefield to the mudroom. Andy Juniper can be visited at his Web site, www.strangledeggs.com, or contacted at ajuniper@strangledeggs.com.