www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver Weekend, Saturday July 19, 2008 - 5 Family and friends will celebrate Sara's life on Sunday Continued from page 4 I feel you have to numb to survive. Everything seems meaningless. I need to find peace. I need to find purpose. Where do I look? I need answers. I need you, Brendan, to guide me. Please be my savior in my time of despair." More irregularities in Sara's taking of Paxil followed when her pill bottle was believed stolen in the days leading up to her death. This caused her to miss several doses, which her parents think she made up for later by taking more of the drug at once, something the literature on Paxil strongly advises against. "She had no idea what that would do to her, how potent and how dangerous these drugs are," said Rhonda. "You sort of treat them like penicillin. You shouldn't miss a dose, but it's not going to kill you." The grim conclusion to these events took place on that fateful Sunday in May. Sara returned home from dinner at her friend Jenn's house. Jenn's mother remembered Sara as being her happy, normal self. She had stayed out with her friends late into the evening, but called her mother to let her know that she was coming home. The following day Sara was nowhere to be found. She was not in her room. Her parents' frantic calls to her cellphone were not returned. Around 4:30 p.m., Sara's sister, Meghan, returned from Toronto with her boyfriend and quickly realized something was wrong when she noticed that Sara's purse, shoes and cellphone were still in her room. "That's when my heart sank. I knew instantly that something was very wrong. I QUALITY INTEGRITY went down stairs and the first door I opened (basement door) she was there," said Neil. "Her older brother (Joe) and Meghan's boyfriend, we got her down ... 911 was called, but it was obvious she had been dead for some time. We think she did that somewhere between five and six in the morning." Initially, Neil and Rhonda were unable to accept what their daughter had done to herself believing instead that she had been murdered. "We thought this has to be murder. This girl would never do that," said Neil. "How could someone so beautiful and brilliant, who had so much going for her want to end her life?" Eventually the cruel reality of what had happened began to sink in. Today, a light is always left on in both Sara's room and in the nearby basement room where she chose to leave this world. Sara's parents said they receive some comfort from visiting this area of their home. They believe that being there allows them to retain some last form of connection with their daughter. Despite this, the grief for Sara's parents has been horrific. The table in the living room is covered with unopened mail and neither parent has been able to return to their jobs. "I have Joe. I have Meg. I have Neil, but it's hard to get any kind of joy from life after something like this," said Rhonda. "You can't go back to doing normal things. To just get up and do the things you used to do before is difficult. Even things like putting on makeup, going out, seeing friends, you just don't want to do it anymore." Neil said he's found some purpose in trying to raise the public's awareness of the potential dangers of Paxil and other SSRI drugs. He hopes no other family will have to endure the pain his is going through. He is currently working with a reporter from the Toronto Star with the hope of getting a piece about the drugs in the newspaper's back-to-school section. "It's to remind doctors and campus coun- Manufacturer says drug is safe when used properly In response to queries from the Oakville Beaver, Peter Schram, of Corporate Communications, GlaxoSmithKline, the manufacturer of Paxil, issued this statement: "Any suicide is tragic and the greatest risk for suicide is untreated depression. "Paroxetine has been used by tens of millions of patients and has been proven to be a safe and effective treatment since its launch more than 15 years ago. "The label contains instructions regarding the use of paroxetine and important safety information about the product. "If patients have questions regarding the use of paroxetine, or the management of their depression, they should contact their healthcare professional. "Also, it is very important that patients do not stop taking paroxetine without first consulting with their doctor." sellors that these drugs can be very dangerous and these kids have to be monitored very closely, especially the young ones who are away at university for the first time," he said. "We all stood and watched this happen and we didn't know what was happening. That's what is so maddening and that's why I'm trying to get this message out because this is unnecessary. If only someone had said something to us, if only someone had warned us." On Sunday, Sara's parents will take a further step towards healing by celebrating what would have been their daughter's 20th birthday on Monday, July 21. Around 20 of Sara's closest friends will attend what Rhonda is characterizing as a celebration of her daughter's life. "Her friends are going to come over and we're going to have some candles for them to light. We've got lots of pictures and they're bringing lots of pictures that we don't have and we're just going to talk about Sara's life and all the great things that she did," said Rhonda. "We're going to spend that time celebrating her life and try to figure out something good that we can bring from it." Sara's family would like to thank the countless people who sent cards or wished them well in the wake of this tragedy. The extreme nature of their grief may have prevented them from writing back, but it has not prevented them from feeling gratitude towards all those who have tried to help them during this terrible time. 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