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WATCH ON WEST COAST > . r. > - ., - ? ,- * u Typical of the stout little vessels which have fo rsaken the fishing trade to serve the Royal Canadian Navy for the duration as patrol boats is the craft sh own here, bucking a Pacific gale. Have You Heard? It WM the firm's annual dance. Th* junior bookkeeper had chosen a very attractive partner. "By the way." he volunteered as they danced, "I'm glad our mana- ger Isn't bore tonight. He's abour die biggest ass of a man one can meet, and not Jit for Intelligent company." She stopped dancing and stared aard. "Toung man." she snapped ang- rily, "do you know who I am?" "Not the faintest idea," he said, easily. "Well, I'm .=> manager's wife!" a* Informed him. "Qe* whiz!" he exclaimed "Now, do> you know .who I am?" "No," said hi* partner. "Thank goodness for that I* he replied, a* he backed hurriedly for the exit. Th* husband, after a very tiring day, wa* enjoying hi* *(pe and reading the evening per. The wife who wa* por'ng ever a cronword, suddenly ailed out: "Henry, what I* a female aheep?" "Ewe," curtly replied her hubby, and that'* how Mi* row started. A Scot boarded a tramcar carry log a very bulk? parcel. Th* con- ductor, noting the size, der-ided it WM above the standard for tree carriage, so to said: "It'll be a penny for yo'i, and threepence for your parcel." Angus waa stricken rpeechless (or a moment, and- then he stuck hi* elbow into the parcel and said: "Com* oot o' that wi' y*. Sandy; it'* twopence cheaper sitting down than for ma to carry ye!" "Eternity Is to vast who can comprehend It?" *ald th* peaker. " Perhaps," said th* little man In the back row, "you never bought anything on the monthly payment plan." A radio actress who had just learned how to drive told Max Marcln, program dr lector, that he'd give him a lift home after the broadcast ou CBS Sunday sight. As they came to an inter- section a cop held up his hand. "Hey," he said, "you can't make a left turn." "What do you mean, I can't make a left turn?" retorted the Indignant actress. "I learned that in my sec- ond lesson!" "My wife used to play the piano a lot. but *lnce the chil- dren came *he simply hasn't time for It." "I know. Child- ren are a comfort, aren't they?" There was no doubt about li- the theatrical magnate was angry. "Don't ever mention the name of that low-down, double-crossing twister of a leading lady!" he said. "I bad no Ulea she was that ort," replied his friend. "Why that girl's so mean, she not only pulls the wool over your eye*, but it'a 90 per cf.t fotton!" "I* Mary your eidett !- ter?" "Ye*." "And who come* after her?" "You and two other fel- lows." I MODERN ETIQUETTE BY ROBERTA LEE 1. Of what should one be ful when planning to take i guest for an automobile drive T 2. Should a widow, upon her second marriage, wear the engage- ment or wedding ring of her flrt marriage? 3. It It all right for a mother to allow her children to attend a party at the home of someone *he does not know? 4. Should one allow his ohild to stand up or sit on th* inn of hi* chair In a theatr*T 5. Ia it permissible to dip celery or radishes into th* salt dlah tt tli* dlah 1* an IndlTidual oneT 8. Who compllM the Hat t*> whom wedding irritation* are la be lentT A newer* i. See that tn* oar l* Uay. OM hoes lying on the floor, package* scattered here and there, soiled ragi or newspapers om th* **mt indicate careleMneas and disregard for th* guest's comfort. Alto, that th* wind*nl*ld aad window* are clean and do not in any w*>y obscure the guest's rtaioa of tn* scenery- * No; th*y shouM he pat aside. I. Tea, U the party 1* given for school friend*. 4. Me. This 1* a very selfish act, M tt obstruct* tli* view of person* seated behind. I. No; take a little of the aalt In the *altapooB or with the end of a eleaa knife and place it on the side of the dinner plate, or th* bread and butter plate. .< The bride and bridegroom together, consulting the parent* of both. Well Trained Mine Sinks Supply Ship The German* would prefer to have the people of Norway think that the British are "doing noth- ing." Therefore all news of the sinking of German supply ship* by the British along the Nor- wegian coast ia carefully with- held. At the official investiga- tion into the sinking of one auch ship the Norwegian captain ex- plained that a submarine had ria- en to th* surface, halted the ship, given the crew ten minutes to get into lifeboats and had then sunk the ship. A German officer interrupted: "That is nonsense!" he shouted. "There- are no British submarine* along th* Norwegian coast. You must have struck a mine!" The captain repeated it wa* a submarine, but the German in- sisted he was wrong. "Very well, then," said the cap- tain. He then revised his account for the records: "A mine cam* t the surface on starboard side. It halted uj, gave us ten minute* to get into lifeboats, then ran smack: into our ship, sinking it." Nearly one-third th* food now consumed in Germany consist* ef potatoes. EX FISHERMAN SERVES IN R.C.N. A fishir.K boat captain, offering the services of himself. ve?st-l and his crew, is given a navigational test by two th* R.C.N. HOW CAN I? BY ANNE ASHLIY Q. How can I prevent ta* walte* of eggs trom f&iUnc after whip- ping? A. Add a pinch at cream of tar- tar to th* white* whll* thej 3 oelnj whipped. Q. How can I clean laid or *U- v*r lac*? A. Sew ta* lac* to a *trlp ef clean linen and boll in a eolation of on* cupful of salt to on* gallon of water. Dry without removing from th* iiaea, and th*a apong* with a piece of wilt* velvet dip- ped in alcohol. Q. How can I mend Itolei ta enameled wareT A. te eo.ua! parta of *oft futt7, table 11. t aad sifted eoal ache*. Oover tn nole* well aad neat em th * live until the cement 1* hard. Q. HOW e* I is'.m *ree* from tt* tot of io*pT A. Take *qa*r* ineet* e< lean whit* tlaeu* pap*r, 1*7 one *h*t at a time on to* Mrtae* at ta* oup, and all tb* (Teas* win adher* to to* paper. Q. Row oa* I remoT* eoot tnxa weUlpaperT A. Use oornmeal tor remonng oot from wallpaper, nrtt, bra*n o*T a* maoa of th* *oot u powible; th*a run th* oornmeal until tt become* *oU*d: bni*n od Brave Patient Amazes Doctor Don't JQngllattwomen ever ..' unmixed with utonlahmeat, aot unmixed with irritation, a Oerman urgeon who dre**ed th* wound* of a stewardess aboard a raider la the South Pacific whloh na picked up survlvora froa ae oner Rangltane it had cunk. H* had discovered that fe pev tlent, Mrs. ElUa&sth Plumb, of London, had been suffering for uearly nine hour* from serloua wounds received when a shell buret in front of her M *a* wa* leaving her cabin. 9h* had then staggered up on dsck. guided paaa- angers to boat station* and when all had been taken aboard by th*> raider refused medical aid until everybody else had ben attended to. To add to her suffering, whom tiie captives had been landed on the Island of Bmlru by the Nail*, anzloue to be rid of them, ahe con- tracted tropical ulcer*. Th story of tier heroUm wa* pieced together by a son, a muni- tions worker, in London, from frag- mentary letters from in mother, message* torn the steamship com- pany, aud finally by a citation from Buckingham Falac* announc- ing that the British Umpire Med- al bad been conferred on her. Mrs. Plumb is iu Auckland, New Zealand, with one of her son*, who is In the Army. A third son 1* an air gunner in Iraq. A fourth. an air pilot, was killed laat year. What Science h Doing SOAP To niaiie a batch of soap re- quires from three to seven day*. Joseph J. Jacobs of Brooklyn Poly- technic Institute cuts this down to fifteen minutes. Soap is usually made by treating tat* or tallow with a weak solution of ly* in wa- ter, Just as the ancient Egyptian* did. Mr. Jacobs uses no water. )Pm,t i* dissolved tu keroeen* and solid lye added. The mixture i* then heated to a temperature higher than is now possible. The lye react* with the fat In Us* than fifteen minutes to mak* soap. Tali hot mas* of soap and kerosene 1* then sprayed into a vacuum chamber. Here the kerosene usA oap, vaporize off, leaving a dry-. granular, porous, qulck-d!**olTla; soap behind. The kerosene am4 glycerine are condensed and sep- arated. The kerosene can then be) reused for a new batch. Th* heat costs ar about one-twentieth those, of present methods. Indua- trial so;.;' nnil high-grade toilet soups cau be nuule. Treaty Protects Migratory Birds Signed Twenty-Five Yaar* Ago by Great Britain and the United States Tne Migratory Bird Treaty be- tween tii United State* and Great Britain aad Ita twenty-fifth "birth- day" ou Dec. 8, signed by the two nations to protect migratory water- fowl and other forms of wildfire going back and forth between Canada and the United States, the treaty waa proclaimed by Preal- dent Wilson on Dec. 8. 1918. "It Is no exaggeration to call chin treaty the moat significant advance In the hlatory of wildlife conservation In North America," Secretary Ickei of the Interior De- partment said of the anniversary. "In 1837, a similar treaty between Mexico and the United State* was conaumated to protect migratory birds and game mammal* going back and forth between these two oounuiea." "Discharging oar federal obliga- tion* under theae International agreements ha* mad* po*lbl* one at the most sucessful wildlife con- servation program* In hlatory, " Secretary Ickee added. "Not only doe* the Department of tae Inter- ior carefully regulate the hunting of th* specie* affected, but it also maintain* a nation-wide *y*tem of refuges to protect and encourage the migratory bird*. The raeuitlag Increase IB bird* la today the beat poistbu evidence of the import aace at thi* international co-oper- ation." Read The War News Carefully Som* V*ry Sound Advlee Offered By Th* Ottawa Journal A BrlUaa M. P. complain* that tatement* of Brltiah "official pokesmen" prior and dwlaf the Libya attack were "too opttmleti*" and want* aa ezjisaattoei At the tame time Mr. U I. B. Shapiro writes treaa Waanlngton: "There la much comment la the eacau. and net a little oritteUns. at London'* handling of th* story ef the flatting in Libya . . . Moat of the argument reeolve* about Mr. OhwohlU'* origin*; announcement. ... It i* olaimed that tae Prim* Minister'* aaseeament of the situ- ation after the l.-at day of the battl* WM much toe optlmUU* aad that U proml**4 a quick and miming victory or*r Oencral nose-'-', i fore**.** Thi* is what comes of peopl* re- tusi.-i to read war new* carefully, and refusing above all to study the text at official statements. Actu- ally, Mr. Churohlll made no predlo- Uons about Libya, held out no hep**, WM neither optlmlatie nor peeaimUtio. What h* dtd, and all taat 2e dw, wa* to explain the pre- paration* for th* battle, teli of the adranc* of the firot daya, oompare the conflict to Blenheim, and say that it* consequence* would t> im- portant. He certainly promiaed no victory. Read The Texte Further: Going back over Cairo's dally official statementa alnce the beginning of the Libyan battle. one flnds t.a*m extremely conserv- ative; completely objective. In no ingle c&se did they promise a vK-- tory, or make extravagant claim*. What one woude-rs Is: Old the average reader read these report*? Or did he prefer the highly imag- inative stories of special correspon- dent*, nioat of whom could not po* ibly see more than Isolated (rag ments of the battle or grasp lu tavctlcal significance? The Journal has all along aiiria- ed people to rt.su 1 ttae war news more carefully, and above all to read the texta of official reporta, and the texts of Mr. Churchill. It 1* only by such reading, with the aid of maps, that oue can follow this war. Never mind the "expert*" ami never mind, must of all, th* eooBomlsU the people whs) ere eternally winning the war by dlav oovcriog that toe enemy I* chert at comething. Th* battle ia Libya ia at* ye* over; may yet reran lot a riuu victory. In the meantime, walle II* re*tt ia using determined let m* not blame Mr. QhurchUT* a****h for making u* too optlmUtla. Toe ia: lit WM not with Mr. Ohnreaiil; it WM in th* ilipihod way in wale* loo many people rad Mr. Oftar- chiU. Three "RV Defy Blitz In England The idea that education weald be the first casualty of yx war in Britain, and that children would not be able to carry on their itudiea, ha* been diacipated by the President of the Board of Education. In an interview that waa broadcast from London he aid that education waa being carried on not only to provide for the future and build up the mind* and character* of the boy* and girl* to lead the Empire, bat also because it i* on* of the im- portant courcea of supply to the ministry of manhood production. "Today more than 99 per cent of Britain'* children are gutting full-time education," it WM stat- ed. "School building* have of- fered damage, and in on* city 60 per cent of them were bombed out ia a single night, but all the children were in school within a week. We have a large meaaure of humanity in the life of the children which haa been invaim- able ia th* upkeep of morale. Health of the children ha* ala* been looked after and there ia no reaaon : >.y it ihould not improve during this year. From 60 to M per cent of the children receive milk," said the speaker. How Mr. Churchill Won Hi* Captaincy Mr. Churchill haa been ap- pointed eolonei ef the 4th Quee*'* Own Huiaan, the regiment which he joined M a aabalcern la ISM when it WM under arden fa* India. The Commanding Officer, thea CoL Brabeion, WM am eld frieW of Lord Randolph*!; he told you* Winston that he waa a elerer young man bt could do with discipline and that a food cavalry regiment WM th* plaee for him w ft it. Would he, therefore, promise not 10 leave the regiment till after he got hi* troop that , hie captaincy. Wtneton aald that he would not eommMt himself that, but he would promise not to leave the regiment until it had won th* Indian International Pete Cup. Colonel Brabaion, knowing that no regiment had ever won the eop before it had been three yean ia India, said that that wa* good enough for him. But the 4th Hue- aan team, of which Wlnatoa Churchill WM a member, wen the cup.- in it* second seaion, and th* war correspondent and Prime Min- it*r-to-b* wa* free of hi* prom- iee. Bundle For Britain A brunette, twenty, rather streamlined and a Chilean, with 300 hour* solo flying and 800 English word* to her credit, Mar got Duhalde, joined the WJLA.F. in London laat September and fa now engaged . . . ferrying Spit- fire* from factory to airdrome. Some bundle for Britain! Place Australia On War Footing Prime Minister John Curtin u- noimced sweeping emergency : sure* to draft all available power into the armed force* plac* the entire nation on a footing. Single men from IS to 45 tad married men from IS to 35 wil be required to register under die new draft lawa. Veterans of the la*t war were being mobilized far guard and coMt defence duties, The cabinet laid plans for draetfa) gaaolino rationing and cheeked fuel, coal and clothing stock* aad air raid precaution*. Women ruibed to answer a eaM for rolunteen for th* auxiliary orvicea. Army Minister Francis Miehaet Forde announced all militia had beea called uaj for ' :I1- t raining. Factory Cooking I .j. ari Tedding*, a Bemuem- editor-proprietor, wa* much f*a> pr****d by an Engliah tank fa*> tory he vbited . He talked to furnace hand during th* dinner break. But WM h a break? With a pie** ef red-hot *toei M a hotplate aad another plea* >l armow plating M a grill ,** he made a perfect welah rafeMI from hit daily cheese ration, life- Ing It off wiih hi* toagi M sacaty M a ehef. In the Intervale- he are- seeded with hi* contribution to the next tank. Press Censorship ngiiah newipaper* are attempt. ing to operate with prea* c*no*v hip such aa d**crib*d in thai tory from Newspaper World, London: "One* upon a time there WM a miniatry ef iniormatioa carrier pigeon. And M it * flying leUurely to ito destination it WM joitled by a second pigeoat which bawled: Get a move en, I'-e got the denial r One Way To Win "There is only one way aa which we can win mobilise the eonscience of th* world, fortify our own spirits, meet blood amd iron with blood aad iron, carry th* weight of material to help the b**t men in th* world; gather ear power In all it* strength aad strik*." Leonard W. Bracking^ ton. Aggravating Gas Whu itonuch t*a if.mj to imotkw i, ad joe MB btfdlj ttk % dM WM*>. * am. , ad joe MB btfdlj ttk % dM WM*>. * am.tirn rm tttmtmttn wst Id MOtiM th. ftMDMk U< .,j.i fit, ttf nmn UI>UTM i , <B ia >..* fr*iCT lauave* roe teal *--^ a. At TOM Drat . A D L E R I K A ...CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS. 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Sent anywhere, Bontex Specialty Co., Box IT Chase. B.C. IFOR QUALITY" SERVICE AXO SATISFACTION TUY IMPERIAL I or S exposure films, developet and printed, or t reprint*, IU. Both with fre* enlargement. OHM iti \ i PHOTO -"i n vi MI Btatlun J. Toronto. Just Too Much Said a wife in Tottenham poll** court: "My husband was a home bird, but when my daughter brought home her surguant-majer eweetheart, he walked out, MTinf 1 was too much for him aft*r Kh experiences iu the lait war." \