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* T r T 4 ^ } V 't 1. W •* •* ^ â- c 4 4 â- Â« A. < A Forget-Me-Not ..eighbor (sympathetically) â€" "And I know how long these yean nust acem to you." Deserted Wifeâ€" "Yes, but 1 re- member when he left just as if it bad been yesterday â€" how he stood at the door holding it open until six flies got into the house ' Would Like To Know The teacher was explaining to the class the meaning of the word "re- cuperate." "Now, Tommy." she laid to % small boy, "when your father has worked hard all day. he is tired and worn out, isn't he?" "Yes, ma'am." "Then, when night comes and his work is over for the day, what dees he do?" "That's what mother wants to know." Tommy explained quickly. He Does "Hullo, you back again?" said the warder as he locked the burglar in a cell. "Yes," replied the burglar bitter- ly, "and all because I need glasses." "How's that," asked the warder. 'I was twiddlin' the kno bsof a fafe. and a dance band started playfn" This Curious World By William Ferguson Hired A doctor, in want of a strony lad, advertised to that effect, and, be- ing a ventriloquist, adopted the following grim ruse to test the nerves of the applicants. The first, a great hulking lad, he sent with a basin of hot gruel to feed a skeleton he had in a dark cuplioard. During the process of feeding, the skeleton observed in deep, sepulchral tones: "It's deuced ho " The boy's hair stood on end. He dropped the basin and fled in terror. The second applicant, a small shock-haired lad, luid to go through the same ordeal, but when the skeleton made his remark, he re- phed unconcernedly, "I could have told you that. Blow on it you fool." He got the job All Depends She; "Here's a story oi a man out west who bartered his wile for a horse. You wouldn't swop iiie for a horse, would you, darling? He: "Of lurse not (pause), but I'd hate to hi.ve anyone tempt nie with a good motor car." Not L,ong He was screwing up his courage to propose to the woman ol his choice, but was at a loss for the appropriate words. At last he ni.m- aged to stammer: "W-wouId vou help me to spend my salary?'' "Why, of course, " she replied brightly. "I â€" 1 mean for ever," he con- tinued. "Oh, it won't last as lon^; as that," she assured him with a smile. Vanishing Alter office hours, Alf and Bert lingered in idle chat. Then, with a sudden glarce at nis watch, .Ml grabbed his hat. "I must rush otf!" he e.Nclaimed. "I've get an appointinmi." "Who's the girl?'" :nafieQ Bert, 'Is it as important as all 'hat? "It is â€" and it's nc girl. It's a fellow to whom 1 owe a fiver." "Where are you meeting Inm?" "Meeting him nothing ! He s toniing !.:ie!" Send It Up It sometimes takes as long as 20 minutes to bring down an airplane flying "blind." If si.x or seven planes are circling above an over- cast airport, the lasi to arrive may have a lonj, wait before being able U land. One remark overheard at La Guardia field in New York City in such a situation has already be- c->nie a classic. After "holding" ever the field for almost an hour, an army pilot called plaintively througii his mike: 'Either get me lown in 15 min- utes or send a gas truck up here!" Wives Are Like That The former Marine wa: relating some of his adventures on a Pacific island to friends who had come for th< evening. "At times," he said, "we had to h.ick our way through what seem- ed impenetrable jungle masses. Only the strongest got through." His wife, who hud been listening from the kite en, remarked: "Why didn't you tell nie all this before, dear? Now I won't have tc think about weeding the garden this year." How Nice Brunette: I'm Mr. Butler's wife. Blonde: I'm his secretary. Brunette: Oh, were you? Different â€" Kindness A son at a university was sup- plying pressure for more money from home. "1 cannot understand why you •all yourself a kind father," he wiote his parent, "when you fcaven't sent me a cheque for over a month. What kind of kindnc;"! do JOB call that?" The father wrote by return: "That ia unremitting kindness." Finnish President HORIZONTAL 1 Pictured Finnish presi- dent. Baron Carl Gustaf 9 Type of molding 10 Jar UPeel 13 God of love 16 Roster 19 Dined 20 Public notices 22 Meadow 23 Universal language 24 Be quiet! 25 From 26 Rv,agh lava 28 Nev/ Mexico (ab.) .29 Church part 31 Transaction 33 Interpret 35 Substitutes 36 Be unsuccessful 38 Existence 39 Former Rus- sian ruler 42 Either 43 Therefore 45 Myself 46 Palm lily 47 Steal 49 'Wand 50 Pitchci 52 Cupola 53 Lamprey 55 Narrow inlet 56 Health resort 57 Addend VERTICAL Greater quantity Era Compass point Require Multitude Cloth measure Ailing Letters Brazilian state On top of Horsemen Seas Dispatch Domesticated Exclamation Symbol for samarium Anwwcr io Prrvtoai) Pnsale maraaaaaraisiisa ciQa;yn[ainsi;aiiGnm Qraras-iaaffiSi^oM^ 24 Vends 27 Mountain crest 30 Monkey 31 English river 32 New Guinea port 34 Essence (ab.) 36 Golf term 37 In a row 40 Small particle 41 Be carried 44 He is presi- dent Finland 45 Belongs to me 48 Honey makers 49 Highway 51 Corded fabric 52 Accomplished 54 Music note 55 Sun god Coal to be Dug Report of the existence of a billion-dollar coal deposit 40 miles north of Hudson Hope is just one more evidence of the vast potential resources awaiting development in B.C.'s Peace River area. â€" Vancouver News-Herald. Britain ia Exporting Shout it aloudl Tell the buyers from overseas that Britain is back takit.g orders, and delivtring them on time. â€"London Daily Express. Perish Tha Thought Many are beginning to fear that the world of tomorrow will be very much like the world of today, only mora so. â€" Kitchener Record. War and Peace It's easy turning out ships and planes like doughnuts in time of war. The truly herculean feat is to build a couple of million huusea amid the distractions of peace. â€" Detroit .News. Uncrowned Kings Officially, Mr. Truman may be President of the United States. But, if the American people want steel, they have to see Phil Mur- ray. If they want automobiles, they must kowtow to Walter Reuther. If they want music, they are obliged to knuckle under to J. Caesar Petrillo. If they want coal to heat their homes and keep their industries running, it's a case of Idss John L. Lewis' big toe, or else. â€" R. U. H. in Windsor Star. Progress in Fire In this enlightened age, most people have little use for common or garden fire. Electricity is more scientific and soon we shall do our cooking with disgruntled atoms. Sulphur is gone both frtnn our matches and our spring tonics. Time marches on. â€" Vancouver Sun. FOR A HAPPY HOME serve Max'well House Coffee. It* blend contains choice Latin* American coffees. Those who are most particular about coffee vote it ''Good to the Last Drop'' I D'J'EVER ^^: OOeVER <7ROW(.-YOUR.«6AC)0PP ABOUT 'fUe OLD RUBBISH ANC» JUNK THAT <S L-yiMG AROUhiD THE VACANT LOT NEXT TO YOUR House AND VOU START TO SToRM INTo TH£. H0U6B To PHCNS THE CITY AUTHORITIBS To TELL-THeM WHAT YOU THINK Or= THEM /^ Vou KNOWjOCAR, IF You / ASKBV QUn NEICHSO R S , \ MC.LVLBANDMR.MOf?ftiSflN, ( » 'M SURE THeV'O HELP YOU \ CLEAN UP TWIS MESS BUT YOUR WIPE eU8TI.Y SUCG6STB tWAT IT MICHT SS A COOO 'D6A To A^K TWO OR. THREE OP THE Ne/CH80RS To PITCH IN AND HELP You CLEAN IT UP .••OOeveR tfETACPeATER KICK OUT OP OOINC A JOB IN YOUR LiPH, KNO WIN;? THAT You've OONB you (5 BiT TO HBUP - TtetOCAL PAINT^UP A/40 CLEAN -UP CAMPAIGN/ PUBLISHED IN THE NATI0i4AL INTtREST BY 6-5W DAWES BIACn HwlC BREWERY STUFF AND THINGS "Jones insists we add another monkey !" STUFF AND THINGS POPâ€" Art By J. MILLAR WATT l(\ YOU If J* CLUMSY ij! 5* CRIP I HOW AM J GOING r'^Tt? SBLL [TMlS NOW 'Testing â-  one - two - three- four!" MUTT AND JEFF Yes indeed, the Mutt's Had a Big Blowout on Their Anniversary, Yes Indeed By Bud FishcF REG'LAR FELLERSâ€" Friendship's Finish By GENE BYRNES FT