Oakville Beaver, 2 Dec 2010, p. 6

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w w w . o a kv ill eb ea ve r.c o m O A KV IL LE B EA V ER Th ur sd ay , D ec em be r 2 , 2 01 0 6 THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FOR: RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: 467 Speers Rd., Oakville Ont. L6K 3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5566 Classified Advertising: 905-632-4440 Circulation: 845-9742 The Oakville Beaver The Oakville Beaver is a member of the Ontario Press Council.The council is located at 80 Gould St.,Suite 206,Toronto,Ont.,M5B 2M7.Pho e (416) 340-1981.Advertising is accepted on he condition that,in the event of a typographical error,that portion of advertising space occupied by the erroneous item,together with a reasonable allowan e for signa ure,will n t be charged for,but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the applicable rate.The publisher reserves the right to categorize advertisements or decline.Editorial and adv rtising content of the Oakville Beaver is protected by copyright. Unauthorized use is prohibited. United Way of Oakville Ontario Community Newspapers Association Canadian Community Newspapers Association Suburban Newspapers of America NEIL OLIVER Vice-President and Group Publisher, Metroland West DAVID HARVEY Regional General Manager JILL DAVIS Editor in Chief ROD JERRED Managing Editor DANIEL BAIRD Advertising Director RIZIERO VERTOLLI Photography Director SANDY PARE Business Manager MARK DILLS Director of Production MANUEL GARCIA Production Manager CHARLENE HALL Director of Distribution SARAH MCSWEENEY Circ. Manager WEBSITE oakvillebeaver.com MICHELLE SIU / OAKVILLE BEAVER ATHENAAward Guest Columnist Halton Region continues to be recognized for itsquality of life, being an innovator, and a strong fis-cal manager, continuously acknowledged with AAA credit ratings. As Regional Council embarks on its new term, I am proud to look back at what weve achieved over the last four years. Beginning in 2007 through the launch of our Fairness for Halton campaign, Regional Council worked with the local municipalities to engage the provincial and federal governments in addressing key funding issues. Our efforts resulted in the Ontario government reducing GTA pooling each year until the program is eliminated in 2013. The Province also announced the Region will no longer fund disability support payments and drug benefits through property taxes. These costs will be taken off the property tax base and funded by the Ontario government. In 2008, we launched weekly collection of both the Blue Box and GreenCart. By embracing this new program, we are diverting approximately 60 per cent of waste away from the landfill site, extending its life by nine years, to 2032. In addition, we are also contributing to protecting the environment by reduc- ing greenhouse gas emissions and creating useful recycling and compost prod- ucts, for a better planet. To address Haltons infrastructure needs, in 2009 we applied to the Federal Governments Stimulus and Building Canada Funds. As a result, Halton received $103 million for the expansion and upgrade of the Skyway Wastewater Treatment Plant in Burlington-the single largest investment in Haltons history; $33.4 million for improvements to the Southwest Wastewater Treatment Plant in Oakville; and $10.6 million for the widening of Tremaine Road between Main Street and Derry Road in Milton. Being fiscally responsible and prudent is important to Haltons residents and businesses, and something that we take very seriously. Over the last four years, the combined tax increase for Regional programs and services has been less than 0.5 per cent one of the lowest among municipali- ties in Canada. These are just a few examples of significant accomplishments over the past four years. I look forward to working with you to continue the great progress we have made in making Halton Region a great place to live, work, raise a family, and retire. For any Regional questions or concerns, please feel free to e-mail me at gary.carr@halton.ca. Gary Carr, Halton Region Chair Gary Carr Proud of its record The Oakville Beaver is a division of Men, it seems, are confused (more so than usual).According to a growing stack of studies, men no longerknow who they are supposed to be, what they are sup- posed to be, or where they fit in within the ever-changing social landscape. I know Im sure going through an identity crisis. I mean, late the other night when I was crisply folding fresh-laundered linens I still had socks to darn and underwear to iron (honestly, my work is never done) I got to wondering whether I was a litre or two low on testosterone. Had society run me through the gender blender? Had my manhood become roadkill somewhere along the highway of life? Fretful, I took to the Internet to research what exactly a man must bring to the proverbial table in this gender-blurred day and age. At guyism.com, I found an article on The 50 Things Every Guy Should Know How To Do. I took the list as a challenge as men are wont to do to determine whether I make the grade as a modern man. Following are a few entries from the list, and how I fare, should you want to see how you measure up (as men are wont to do). Change a tire. Okay, Im 0-for-1. Not only do I not know how to change a tire, I wouldnt really even know where to look for the spare. That, you see, is why God invented cell phones and Emergency Roadside Assistance. Jump-start a car. Hmmm. I once jump- started my John Deere, but (apparently) got the wires crossed and the whole expe- rience was rather shocking. Drive a man- ual car. I recently had a woman roundly mock my manhood when she found that I do not know how to drive a stick shift. I get it: Im automotively challenged. Hook up cable. Cant work the TV, cant figure out the PVR, cant hook up the DVD player. Guessing I cant hook up cable. Tie a tie. Thats what fathers, brothers, friends and neighbors are for and if theyre not home, well, thats what clip-ons are for. Erect a tent. Not even if you spotted me 12 pegs, six poles and three sides. Pick up a woman using your dog as a wingman. No way the hound would ever go for this. Pick up a woman with a one-liner. Ha, Id have a better shot at hooking up cable. In a tent. With a tie on. Casting a fishing rod. Ive only fished once in my life. Unwilling to touch a worm, I used bologna as bait. And, surprisingly, caught nothing. Use a chainsaw. Only if I want to live out the rest of my days with the nickname Three Fingers or One Arm. Dance. People who have seen me boogie say I dance like Elaine on Seinfeld, or, worse, like Bristol Palin. Unhook a bra with one hand. Good God, why in the world would I be wearing a bra? And why would I want to unhook it with just one hand? Okay, I admit, I failed. If we were charting this, I probably come in as less of a man than, say, Margaret Thatcher, but more of a man than, say, Pamela Anderson (although, I imagine she could beat me up if push ever came to shove). On the positive side, I do indeed know how to change a diaper, buy a gift for a woman, build a fire, throw a football, and make a mean breakfast which, by the way, is Number One on Guyisms list. So, maybe I am a man, or half-a-man, or some such. One thing I know for certain: when it comes to defining a modern man, Im still totally confused (more so than usual). Andy Juniper can be visited at www.strangledeggs.com, con- tacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, or followed at www.twitter.com/thesportjesters. Attempting to redefine what it means to be a modern man Andy Juniper BIRTHDAY GIFT: Tori Teufel and Thia White celebrated their 11th birthdays at the River Oaks Community Centre on Friday evening. The girls are donating funds from their birthday $500 to the Oakville & Milton Humane Society.

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