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MiniComment Remember the good old brown eggs you used to buy the product of Plymouth Rocks and Rhode Island Reds Theyre making a come back according to British researchers who have found that birds laying brown eggs are con suming less feed than the white egg egg birds This news should spur on those white birds that lay white eggs eat less lay more or Zip A wag annoyed at the recent mail stoppage suggests the eight- cent stamp for first class mail is comprised of two parts three cents for delivery and five cents for storage Those who complain to the Ministry of the Environment about farmers spreading manure on their fields will encounter a deaf ear according to a Ministry spokesman Farmers who are only carrying out normal farm pro cedures have nothing to fear says Environment Minister Bill Newmont Normal manure spreading and subsequent culti vation is both necessary and bene ficial for farm operation However farmers who do not follow normal farm procedure could lead to a valid complaint and an investi gation by a board made up of farmers called the Farm Pollution Advisory Committee What Liberal leader Bob Nixon dangled an appealing carrot in front of Actomans noses when he said Acton could one day have its own council again but we d like to see the mechanics of the operation before commenting further to sunny climates hasnt eased up this year as much as might have been expected Statistics Canada reports that Canadian residents returning from visits to the S increased 13 percent in January over the same period last year 7 Slaw y What do you think of Him Rumors spread quickly around the province the man executed on the previous Friday outside the city had been seen alive with on Sunday Skeptics laughed especially at the provincial premier ordered an investigation happenings report at the fellow grave He porters sent to the scene by the media could find nobody although the platoon of guards there with guns had made sure no one disturbed the mausoleum had been a lot of strong feelings about this fellow and authorities did not want to stir up any more trouble had been enough commotion on riday when he was executed for a crime of which the premier felt he was Inno cent But the mobs demanded his blood and the premier had given in reluctantly after washing his hands in the city hall fountain as a symbol of his own innocence in this mans execution The premier a weak man but elections wire to be held and he wanted to curry favor every where afford to offend any segments of the liculthough he knew agitators were firing the people up Now there were strange rumors about the fellow around the province about the grave not being able to hold him Some of his followers rustic bumpkins many of ihem said he would follow In the footsteps of Jonah who had big fish for three days and emerged alive Jonah they said was a symbol of man victory over the grave This upMart however seem to be a prophet He was born in a small town in the northern part of County son of a re spec led carpenter His mother wa a young lad good background who left the farm to marry young Ihe custom of the district Stories about the youth were widely circulated that showed he in the carpenter shop with his father until he years old building cupboards handling saws with painstaking skills taught his father a plain and simple man descended from pioneers of the district hi family lived in a frame home on a quiet North Maples shaded the house from the sun and a cedar helped shield them from winter blasts They were a happy fumily living modcstl and genuinely interested in their neighbors As a was apparent this fellow had a philosophical turn of mind He often talked and argued with the teachers from schools and had deep discussions with the priests and ministers over the extent of his knowledge knowing as they did that he had quit school in to assist his father with carpentry He attended church regularly and seemed religious but he averse to lifung a pint or two of lager or ale at local hotels with friends Some people classed him a drunkard but it t seem to bother him even when they criticized him for being entertained by known sinners But his friends were often puzzled by his references to the meaning of life He told interesting stones that attracted a strange multi them had a message Even the fellows ho frequented the local pool halls were fascinated by his stones although they often found them difficult to understand the time he reached age 30 he had large follow the Liberals Progressive Conservatives and New Demo crats had all asked him to run for office in their colors He politely refused telling party officials that his electoral dis trict was not of this world They puzzled over his answer figuring he was some kind of revolutionary who was going to raise a social revolution of his own It was about this tune he also started to visit other near by daces talking to Ihe people in small and large numbers and his reputation grew even wider He visited Limehousc Georgetown Erin Acton Brampton Milton Batlinafad Nerval and any other small hamlets where people congregated at feed stores or supermarkets One day in a field near Silvercreek while cars from a nearby throbbed in the background a local paper reported he had an audience of Although there had been conflicting reports it was also said he fed the entire few brook trout taken in Silver Creek Stories such is this kept people wondering if this was lb simple village man they thought they knew Several men Mere his constant companions quarrelsome fellows some of them reticent types selected It was re ported from the fields and factories of North The group including businessmen tax assessors town clerks farmer laborers and some of the storekeepers of the dis trict rhiy helped spread his fame until It reached the cars of the people in the big city of w as said he told stories about loving your neighbor do ing to those who hate you taking the last scat in church and lilting your talent shine It was also said he cured the lame gave sight to the blind and one day healed 10 men with a disease and only one of whom bothered to return and thank him It was that one day he would kick the dust of North from his oxfords and leave for Toronto In a shiny whiti lompacl lent him by a fnend His fame pre ceded him and a spontaneous ticker tape parade developed on I he mayor him at the city hall steps remarking to irby controller thut it seemed to be the key to the city la said man aside the man wasn well educated and had a distinct North twang Hut the people of the metropolis took the man to their he He had so many invitations lo speak and advise troubled and perplexed that some of the city leaders began to Some of the hinted through one of Toronto daily papers tlut thL fellow better shut up or some means might be found to shut him up Why this brash lout threatened country economy money lender told a luncheon meeting of a service club Hi upset the country morals a religious leader char ged Spurred by opposition some city leaders spent time iitvislitinK his background hoping to fabricate some against him They paid special attention to one of his followers who looked after the communal purse One day follow relented llesaldhewouldbctray his leader when they ofkred JO of the market s prime stocks He agreed to betray htm with a kiss in imitation of a well known secret society said to be infiltrating the province night in High Iark where the fellow was holed up with his followers the police arrested him and him with treason and being a revolutionary although he had ne ver raised a gun or carried a knife The worst that could be said of him was that he drove some money changers out of the downtown cathedral one day charging they were defiling his father house magistrate heard the case In a late night city court obviously bored with he proceedings and sent him over to the chief magistrate who promptly sent him bock with a lei acknowledging the fellow was probably guilty but he could find nothing wrong with him Meanwhile public opinion helped by an unsympathetic press radioandTV began to turn against the fellow Some of those who threw ticker tape a few days earlier wen now hollering for a conviction claiming man was i fraud fhey wanted the death penalty something which hadn been handed out with Impunity for some time There was a trial and throughout it was obvious ihi jury was loaded with his enemies hate avarice jealousy and a few of Iheir boon companions They found him guilty and handed him over to the city or to be executed Because he carpenter they hung him on two beams which took the form of a cross They did this on a hill which overlooks the city On either side to give the execution justification they hung a criminal After muchsuffering fellow died calling to his father to save him which became a Jest among the crowd that gathered to walch the gory spectacle When he was dead a fnend buried him in own mausoleum while the rest of his followers and fled back over the Niagara in horror dismay and utter confusion A funny thing A few days later the same friends and lowers were smiling again Dismay was replaced with se cret levity and they had the effrontery tell others that the fellow executed on the cross had now risen from the dead Preposterous you say Maybe But what has caused the big change in his followers Why do they no longer mourn for the man and nurse secret smiles It makes one think especially when one of them asked me the other day What do you think of Him Canine capers There dog daze in over charges and countercharges about dogs running loose and messes It s a dogfight in which everyone is taking sides apparently Despite Reeve Bill s admonition to let sleeping dogs he the township council decided it wasnt the bleeping pooches that were causing canine confusion but the four- legged critters on the loose So one resident is going to receive a letter advising him to keep his pooches cooped In the exchange of pleasantries over man s best friend a kennel owner confided that his dogs only go out when they go to the bath room Ah ha trained Wish the whole world had them because it s a world wide problem England for instance where dogs are allowed on a leash suffers terribly from the mess pets create along the boulevards When things get dull during summer months English newspapers dont quiver about starting a controversy about dog droppings It invariably starts a ruckus to enliven an otherwise dull summer of strikes demonstra tions and other trivia Must have been a dull winter in and nothing can enliven the village more than a good dog fight B2 The Acton Free Press Wed Mar Bicycles bugs are out Spring here and the bikes are out again in Acton and on the country roads The Safety League got those bikers all typed and it makes interesting reading The Swerver bug Theres bound to be one to two The wheels in and out of traffic as though he is on a timed obstacle course He gives no thought to the poor frazzled motorist who is forced to slam on his brakes risk collision and is left lo luce shakily the rest of the day hustle bustle The Tricky Turner Bug Weve all seen tins one One minute hes harmlessly next to you without any warning signal or even a backward glance he cuts a fust turn right in front of your It guaranteed to give the driver palpitations J The Middle of the Hug He thinks driving a car and hogs the whole lane He never notices the traffic jam behind him Double Headed Bug This is an easy one to spottwo bodies weaving along bicycle built for one The Wrong Way Bug These are usually very young cyclists who haven t yet mastered right from left bet they can even button their own coats correctly Iriey habitually ride on the left liund side of the road irritating and confusing both motorists and other cyclists coming towards them 6 The Biking Bevy Bugs This herd is most frequently spotted on residential streets three or four cyclists riding side by side The more experienced bevy bikers will be weiring ear muffs to lessen the din from honking motorists bringing up the rear The habits described are illegal in Ontario and dangerous everywhere Biking is great Obeying the laws and using safe practises will only ensure greater enjoyment Sugar and Spice by bill smiley This may seem an odd time of year for it but I m beingtorn between two old adages At my age of course the chances of being torn between two young harridans is rather slight As a matter of fact there t even been much of a lineup of old harridans lately so I guess I II have to settle for those two old adages One of them goes thus There a no fool like an old fool As adages go It fills the bill It Is short blunt and if you happen to be an old tool brutal I don like that one The other one says There a many a tunc played on an old fiddle This is also short and to the point It is usually delivered with a wink and a leer by some old fool of either sex speaking of which that is what it usually refers to I like that one better than the first though I am not given to leering or winking Not for years Anyway to get to the heart of the matter I vc taken up skiing and those ancient adages ride with me one on each ski They are heavy as well as old When I state that I have taken up cross country skiing I must confess that it Is not a reciprocal deal I have taken It up only once and it has taken me down more time than I care to contemplate But lhats beside the point Croaa- skiing is not for everybody though you never know it Sunday afternoon No it really a sport for us romantics of us left who are loners who have a fierce overwhelming urge lo pit our muscles and wilt against a fierce and alien Nature before 1 strapped on the skis I knew 1 would love it Pictures rolled through my mind like a film with me in the major role Gliding swift and silent along a lonely winter trail Slipping through the stilly woods like a wraith Stopping on a peak for a belt of brandy and a munch of bread and cheese before plunging eager eyed into terrible hurtling danger below Its a tough world for us romantics some reason the picture seldom lives up to the advance notices I didn t exactly glide not at first I sort of shuffled rather tike an old man with a double case of gouL Nor was the trail really lonely Not if you count dogs little children and old ladies who came up from behind shouting Track and went by me as though I were standing still Which I was a good deal of the lime Stopping on a peak for a bracing solitary brandy is also a little difficult when the only peak for miles around Is about eight feet nigh and is already popu lated by seven of your friends iMery last one of whom loves brandy but docsn have any with him Not to mention woods It hard to keep them stilly when every time you get anywhere near a tree everyone in sight shouts Timber A couple of young punks sail by and I overhear it used to be stilly In these woods but nowadays there seem to be great noisy gusts of wind do they know it only old Smtler trying to get hit breath back 1 have taken up other sports like golf and curling and have learned that unless he is extremely vigilant the beguiner may develop some bad habits which are bard to shake 1 was determined that this would not happen with skiing On my very first time out I thought I was developing bad habit My left ski seemed to want to to the left and my right ski to ihe right This seems logical enough but It was not con ducive to skimming along the trail es pecially when the skis took turns falling off the boots Quickly I checked the harness Sure enough the chap from whom 1 d bought Ihe outfit had put It on cockeyed My toes fitted into It but my heels didn even touch the skis They were dragging in the snow Right there I decided to Raise Cam with the Installer Fortunately a friend came along When he noticed that my skis seemed to want to he suggested that I had them on the wrong feet This was patently ridiculous A ski Is a and a foot is a foot But he persevered Sure enough the ski I had on my right foot was marked withalargeL for Left and vice versa 1 had a couple of other bad habits but I solved them swiftly One was Jabbing my ski pole into my ski instead of into the snow fhis ended to throw me off my stride not to mention off my feet put a slop to this by wrapping the sharp tips of the poles in wads of foam rubber They re not much good In snow butitsaloteasieroritheskls Another was a habit of making the sign of the cross with my skis This seemed to bring about a precipitation or downfall I solved this by cutting off my skis right in front of my boots hardly ever get them crossed any more Some people have trouble getting up lulls I don I use the Doppelgangcr method hands and knees All In a its a fine bracing sport Here and now In public print I am ready to take Anyone under four or over There are only a couple of things I don likeaboutiLOneismywife When get yards behind her she stops and waits for me When I get to where she is on my last breath shes had a fiveminute rest and takes off Another thing more embarrassing than otherwise occurs when get off the trail and hide behind a tree trying to get the blood out of my eyes and my heart out of my ears I come to a decision Either I quit smoking or I quit skiing Anybody interested in a pair of almost brandnew crosscountry skis THE ACTON FREE PRESS PHONE Business and Editorial Office It wtio ram en iv7 Art