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Taught by Acton couple The Acton Free Press Wednesday Nov 29 1978 Course teaches how to deal with children Bedtime Child resists Parent Tears screams bargains drinks of water trips to the bathroom there anyone who t lived this scenario whether parent babysitter or hapless visitor To be a parent is to face Innumerable issues like this one which when added up make parenting one of the most responsible jobs around it is a job people have been expected to undertake without preparation Out of this need for people to have training in parenting has arisen an educational program called Parent tivencss Training or has been around in the United States since where it was launched by Thomas Gordon a psych who found he could be more effective in helping troubled teenagers when he aught the parents ways of dealing with their offspring Hearing of his work other parents wanted to get in on the information This Interest led to the development spread of the program However PET didn t become big m Canada until well into the 1970s An Acton couple Bruce and Margaret have been conducting PET sessions for five years Mrs Briliinger spoke about their work in a recent Interview PET teaches parents methods for dealing with problems Mrs explains It docsn hand parents the solution to problems In he example of the child who want to go to bed three families could come up with three different answers to Ihe bedtime question But they would have arrived at their solution the some basic technique a technique which gets parents talking with children about a given problem and involving the children solving II PET teaches methods parents can take home and use to work out their own answers to problem Mrs says The 24hour course spread weekly sessions is put together in step by step terms that anybody can follow It s simple to understand hut it not easy to do she notes explaining that It all loo easy to fall back into the old ways MARGARET BRILLINGER occasions when will want to talk with their child ren very explicitly about values the kind of the similar to those advanced by other child care lx perls PET differs in that the course is concrete that is it teaches the how to Mrs says These Include how to listen so that children will want to values by modeling talk with parents kind of behavior they with that both child and adult emerge satisfied with neither feeling that he has lost how when children are doing things parents don t like them without putting them down how when values to in children without turning hem off Continuing on the of values education Mrs says values are inevitably conveyed Just by the way people relate with each other including the way skills Although based on parents act towards their theories viewpoints children Although there are Burlington pushes for allweather track their children to follow Children arc quick to pick up discrepancies between what parents say and what they do she points out citing by way of example the incongruity of parents who smoke lecturing their children about the perils of drugs Well over half the course is devoted to learning skills in dealing with behavior that bothers parents In the past parents did well with the resources they had to them Mrs says But the world has changed Children arc exposed to many more outside in fluences such as television than thi y were in ears by The absence of an ex tended family grandparents Board of Education moved to meet Burlington at least a third of the way towards bringing an all weather track to The City of Burlington asked for and received Thursday board permission to install all weather sur face track at Burlington Nelson school The cost estimated to total between and 110 is to be discussed by the board later Board super intendent of business and finance said Burlington would want about a third of the cost from the Hilton board Superintendent of Instruction J said if the track Is built the region will be to hold major track and field meets here rather than going to There is one all weather track in but It Is not standard said I indlev Students at Georgetown are running on gross and turning out top notch runners such as Jan Clarke Georgetown trustee Barry Shepherd Board chairman reminded Shepherd that Clarke is a cross country runner TIDY CAR Low Cost Interior Car Protfldivs Cleaning Trastmant call Even if youve never had a music lesson in your can play the Baldwin You can play And malady raiy you loo So you try With on Inoar All tha Wry flirt lima you try you do button my filtndtM Baldwin hay and you playing any try tha Baldwin 17dttfrit Comes complete with learning program Smgalong books full Baldwin Guarantee A Perfect Gift for the Whole Family Manufacturers List Price Special Christmas Gift Pianos 762 Guelph Line Opp Mo I 6325131 Organs Milton Mall 55 Ontarto St S 8788202 aunts and other relatives leaves parents isolated and having to be all things to their children At the same time there have been advances In the understanding of human behavior Much more is now known about how people learn for example Why not take advantage of this know ledge Mrs linger asks However she stresses PET Is education and not therapy PET Is not the ultimate answer but it does give people tools for coping with everyday life she says The skills learned are not exclusive to parenting tions They are applicable to any relationships whether between couples or friends In their courses the see not only but also single adults grandparents childless couples and professional workers Although many or the parents who take the course hive encountered problems in parenting others they v ant to enhance an already good family life or to make sure it continues to run smoothly Taking the course in a group up to people is maximum gives parti runts the benefit of prae ticlng their skills with each other as in role playing and of sharing their triumphs and difficulties book on is pro vided It is also available in libraries and bookstores Asked what the course gives that book docs not Mrs replies by com paring parent effectiveness tninuig to the acquisition of skill gives the of learning to swim by reading a book as opposed to practising swimming an instructor help The middle class is heavily represented in the course It has to do with mind set Mrs comments ex plaining that effective parenting and solid home life are values to which middle class people subscribe They re aware of the impact of parenting on children Moreover thinking about relationships is a luxury for people wondering where their next meal is coming from she adds A mother of four Mrs was a high school teacher before she quit work to raise a family The four children range in age from six to years She read the book about PET found it challenged some of the beliefs she held and was sold on the ideas pre sented by Dr Gordon By this time too she was becoming restless and looking for another outlet Taking instructors course for she con eluded a husband wife teaching team would be ideal and persuaded her husband a social worker to take tor training as well The course for Instructors is given under the auspices Effectiveness Training organization formed by Gordon Graduates of the course are given a certificate authorizing them to offer sessions in T People who haven t taken instructor training are also teaching courses called parent effectiveness training Mrs cautions She advises anyone interested in the program to check whether it includes both the PET book and a workbook Only courses given by authorized instructors use the workbook The Brlllingcrs have had a great deal of success with their courses and have taught PET to more people than any other Canadian In struct ore she believes Currently they instruct both as a team and dually They have given or are giving programs in Guelph and as well as in Some sessions arc given on a regular ongoing basis others undertaken at the request of a community group like a church group or a nursery school Most people who take have heard about it through word of mouth Another program based on the same principles but designed for teachers is called Teacher Effectiveness Training or TET Mrs Briliinger has taught these as well At the same time she is working on a masters degree in adult education at he Ontario Institute for Studies in Education Mr Briliinger is a social worker at a family treatment centre in Toronto four days a week and does counselling on a private basis as well In addition to their work in PET the offer courses and workshops for couples focusing on relation ships between couples as opposed to those between adults and children One Couples Communication is given one evening a week the other is weekend session They also give workshops in interpersonal relationships for agencies and and recently completed a workshop for hospital volunteers THE FANTASTIC VW RABBIT THE MONEY YOU SAVE AT BAZ WILL BE YOUR OWN HIGHEST TRADEIN ALLOWANCE AT MOTORS CAKE BAZ MOTORS LTD or Toronto LIGHTING FIXTURES SALE UP TO 50 OFF 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