Acton Free Press (Acton, ON), July 20, 1983, p. 21

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Georgetown Acton Wednesday 1983 BS Well do that Joe Clark has been replaced by Jaws m we can all sleep quiet beds again and drift s along with oar parliament Thats something that has always rather intrigued toe the loaf holidays enjoyed by politicians The only people who come near members of parliament when ft comes to holidays an teachers and at least they are of same us Can a huge company shifting down for the unless It had to because business was bad Yet our government looking after supposedly theneeds and welfare of about million and running a deficit of over btllbn can close up shop for several without a second thought Does happen in the summer Are the souls the House of Com mons so exhausted from scrambling to get into the T picture right behind the leader that they are burned out Or are their brains so drained from thinking up witty ripostes Ike Hear Hear for Hansard that simply must climb into a ham What happens when MPs holiday Ob I know the country keeps Tnasks to a dedicated service which hangs around steamy old Ottawa away in those offices breaking away from the coffee break to sign the pension and welfare cheques we stagger along somehow But what would happen If a real crisis occurred Lets say Cuba decided to in vade Canada about the middle the July Just to make the Yanks even more uneasy Wouldnt it be Most of our obsolescent planes and tanks In Europe Most of their pilots and drivers are on leave The four ships of our navy that are not in drydock for more patches are cruising to the Mediterranean or the Sargasso Sea or somewhere Our Minister of Defence would probably be China trying to buy some Tighter planes that dont crash every time they catch a pigeon in their intake Our foreign affairs minister would be in Cuba selling guaranteed bulls at which he is an expert Our prime minister God bless him could be you name it Actually it happened the Cubans would probably be so baffled theyd Just go back home and try to think of invading some country that showed a little panache formed a guerilla opposition died with a smile on its face while singing the national anthem or even welcomed the liberators as ail conquering troops are called these days with wine and flowers First of all if they attacked our major cities on a Jul weekend they find them as as Napoleon found Moscow If they wanted to kill somebody theyd have to head north Cant you see a tankfull of Cubans sailing into one of our national or pro in eta parks on a Saturday night and trying to find a place to park No Canadian is likely to die singing Canada The first couple of bars are so slow they d put the Tiring squad to sleep But any redblooded Canadian will fight wife and mother in law hong onto that camping spot begot upol and drove miles and fought off six other site hungry campers to squat where he had a view of the water Just suppose they did get up north knocked of a couple of thousand and headed back to the cities on Sunday night to take over the centres of power like the post office the pubs and the poolrooms Their forces would be completely demoralized by Ihe Sunday night traffic Their tanks and armored cars would be rearended and stopped so often in Jains that theyd overheat and stall If they parachuted into Vancouver theyd be in some districts by junkies begging for some of that clean Cuban stuff If they hit in force and started shouting orders In Spanish theyd get nothing but shrugs Somebody would say Speak white man If they hit Toronto and demanded to see the boss some flunky would them that Bill Davis was at Go Home Bay for the weekend and be disturbed All would not be lost of course By the time the Cubans had got back into their planes and flown home bewildered Peter would ha threatened buy Cuba John would have organized the navy and Joe Clark would have called for a new leadership cam paign Just a summer scenario the latest fad word for your consideration Hal LOU RICCI CONSTRUCTION Work Guaranteed Licensed KJ ENTERPRISES Abo norm window 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