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Page 22 THE HERALD May 189 Swayze cant save Roadhouse Dont see No Evil MOVIES 1 p miii I By NADEAU Herald Special is the kind of movie that makes me feel that all movies are pointless that life is too short to ever sit through one again This film ranks as one of the most ir ritating and senseless I have ever seen in my life The only good thing about it is the Jeff Healey Band and I think it would be smarter to just buy the album and forget the show Patrick Swayze plays a onename man with only one thing on his mind being nice Nice means killing people with a weapon instead of ripping their throats out barehanded Thats idea of nice Dalton has a degree in philosophy so naturally he became a bouncer But hey hes a philosophical bouncer And he takes on a job to clean up Tilmatfs Kevin Tighe bar- thoughtfully of course But a bouncers life is not an easy one No its not enough that cleans up the bar he has to clean up the town Rid it of vermin like Brad Wesley Ben Gazzara During his quest Dalton meets a lot of sleazy women a lot of fat ug ly mean men and one caring doc tor Kelly Lynch When you spend your life being stitched up a hospital is probably the only place to meet decent women Mind you he still manages to find one who dresses like a tart and has never heard of safe sex There is the lnevitle confron tation between Brad men and the problem is that it is stretched over two hours Or was it six The final faceoff is a long time coming and utterly revolting But hey Dalton gets the girl And Brad Wesley He no longer owns Jasper Missouri And the world will sleep better for it no doubt Patrick Swayze is awful If 1 ever see him ever ever again in any movie it will be too soon He spends his time naked or bleeding and I find it hard to call that ac ting Not to mention the fact that I loathe his body Ben Gazzarais just old Ben Gaz zara and his expressions never vary Kelly Lynch is unbelievable ridiculous totally unrealistic as a DOCTOR As another little tramp sure she makes the grade Kevin is wasted as Tilman the bar owner There are two good performances in this movie but they still dont make it worth watching Jeff Healey ex cellent as what else the blind white blues guitar player And good old Sam Elliott is damned at tractive as buddy Wade Unfortunately the movie isnt about Wade and his appearance is all too brief There is an amazing gut- numbing amount of violence in this movie And more naked flesh than I thought would ever be shown in a small town cinema The combina tion makes the whole world seem shoddy and cheap and a nasty place to live I found very depressing because it cheapens everything especially sex and life and death No doubt there are lots of people out there who are looking for a film full of violence sex and good music By all means see Is thats what you like The rest of us would be better employed cleaning the kitty litter Want to host Country Music Week Entertainment Bob Spence Thornton Service Want to attract Canadas top country and western singers to your town Just ask local municipal officials to put in a bid to host Country Music Week The board of directors of the Canadian Country Music Associa tion Is inviting communities in terested in hosting Country Music Week in 1993 or to submit let ters of intent with a preliminary outline to the CCMA This years event is being held in Ottawa Sept to 10 Among the highlights- is the annual Canadian Country Music Awards show Sept 9 which CTV will televise live and alcohol Jack Martin Short Lorraine Segato and Olym pic bronze medalist Dave Steen are the cohosts As well as posing selfassessment questions the special profiles former drug ad dicts All three shows were televised earlier This is the first time they have been aired as a series stories about Englands kings and queens vividly brings history to life The anthology from Oxford Publishers being released May Chip and Dale are back A new animated series from Disney Studios Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers makes its Cana dian TV premiere on Family Chan nel June 3 The chipmunks leaders of a secret international organization tackle unsolved mysteries and odd- ball crimes in the series Edward VII who succeeded Queen Victoria on the British throne in 1901 once wanted to ven ture across Niagara Falls on a tightrope White on a visit to Canada when still a prince he passed Niagara Falls on a day when daredevil Blondin walked across the falls on a tightrope offered to put the in a wheelbarrow and take him for a ride on the tightrope Edward said yes His staff put their feet down and kept he princes feet on solid ground This anecdote is one of the many colorful tales Elizabeth Longford has included in The Oxford Book of Royal Anecdotes Covering the reigns of monarchs from Boudicca AD to Queen Elizabeth this collection of CTV wants you to spend three Sundays in June doing tests On June you can try The Ticker Test This onehour special hosted by includes selfassessment questions design ed to help viewers evaluate their own heart health risk And hows your BMI The Body Test June looks at realistic weight ranges for healthy bodies Hosts Buckner and Wax- man lead viewers through 20 ques tions about diet exercise lifestyle and BMI Body Mass Index a measurement standard used by a number of health organizations Once you have determined the status of your ticker and BMI you face another exam The National Drug Test June 25 examines the physiological social Impact of such drugs as cocaine marijuana tobacco N DIVISION OF HAIXON WHS HOLDING 8771234 AIRPORT SERVICE 87793H PARCEL DELIVERY Available at The Herald Office in either 8x10 or 5x7 Sizes teHERALD Bum SI GREAT TASTING CHICKEN CHIPS AND MORE TAKE OUT ONLY 232 ST 8771646 MON SAT It SUN CLOSED IS HERE RIVIERA CENTRE Street PO Box 416 840251 Norval Ont LOP DBs PICK OF THE WEEK Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday 1100900 hours Saturday STREET ST PLAZA GEORGETOWN 770 CocntrotHwyTindMounUlnvlwoRd SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EV1LR Threes a charm they always say But not in the case of this slapstick come dy set in the Big Apple the third movie to pair Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder is blind and Wilder Is deaf and to make matters worse the pair are implicated in a murder Meanwhile the bad guys and one bad girl are after a gold coin that is really a coveted hightech su perconductor Thats about It for plot The movie functions as a string of blind and deaf gags with scatologi cal and sexual jokes thrown In for good measure Not that there is much good about this movie looks emaciated and exudes an air of desperation If you loved him his brilliant sca brous oneman shows its almost im possible not to be disappointed by his frantic bugeyed mugging here and in other recent flicks Wilder has been well wilder A climactic showdown of equally blind opponents has the tiniest spark of wit but thats all Oh theres a car chase too Is this- movies instant boxoffice success proof that diehard Pryor and Wilder tans will watch them in do a lot of people now ac cept humiliation and offcolor insults as the equivalent of frolicsome light weight entertainment GRADE AFTER FIVE THINGS TO 00 PLACES TO GO lie FOR LISTENING AND DANCING MAIN ST S GEORGETOWN SERVICE m ELEGANT CARS FOR ELEGANT PEOPLE AT AN AFFORDABLE PRICE Tony Bishop 8732022 NINTENDO SEGA PLAYERS Trade In Your Old Games For New Ones Pay no COUNTRY VIDEO GAMES 8772254 the HERALD MUSIC TRIVIA CONTEST You Could Win A Gift Certificate Valued At 00 QUESTION Name the first drummer of The Who ANSWER NAME ADDRESS PHONE No Deadline For Entries Monday at Noon Please Send Your Entries To the HERALD QUEUH ST GEORGETOWN