The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Page 10 THE HERALD OUTLOOK December lb Major gaffes at Mayors luncheon Last Wednesday at noon was the Mayors Luncheon sponsored by the Halton Hills Chamber of Commerce Before a morsel of food was consumed I was off on the wrong foot and stayed way during the whole affair There wasnt much doubt the audience could see it the head table guests could see it I was out of step Today they say out of sine Ted Gorth was kind enough to give the blessing and I forgot him Terrible mistake at a do like that David Page had to remind me I hadnt been so confused since I couldnt find the mens washroom at a Womens Lib do But Ted old pro that he is took it all in stride and delivered a beautiful and appropriate bless ing Gaffe number one was over thanks to Teds eloquence In vaudeville days I would have got the hook right then and there Had they known I was going to continue committing them there is little doubt I would have been gone This isnt the first time I forgot to ask someone to say the bless ing One night a few years back I fat Stories by W Steamer Emmerson can remember a man of the cloth muttering in my ear damn it to Steamer you forgot to ask me to say grace He wasnt too pleased The President of the chamber was next to be introduced and once again I gaffed Trying to be as articulate as possible after be ing shook up by my first gaffe I rambled on in my introduction of David Page President of the Chamber of Commerce by say ing in the community we think of him as a criminal lawyer only Well there was the second gaffe and I still had poor old Russell trembling in his seat to work over The audience was sympathetic towards me Audiences know when you are having an off day and they knew it was two down and one to go Russell Russell has been on the receiv ing end of some of my humor several times and he has always been most gracious about my remarks at his expense Wednesday I could tell he was apprehensive because I had just insulted two very important guests and naturally he was hop ing he wouldnt be the third Sure enough his worst fears were confirmed Ladies and gentlemen my job today is to introduce His Worship Mayor Russell Miller Deep DENTURES FULL DENTURE SERVICES DIRECTLY TO THE PUBLIC New Repair Cteinfng Denial Insurance accepted Accessibility Tough Christmas decision for newly weds in my heart I wanted I really wanted to give him a fine introduction but gaffe number three was rolling off my tongue before I could put it in neutral and out popped I havent much to go on Then I was going to say Russell is at the awkward stage hes fiftytwo but I forgot However I did introduce him by using a shortened version of a quote by Theodore Roosevelt It is not the critic that counts or he who points out where the strong man stumbles or how the doer of deeds could have done things bet ter The credit belongs to the man in the arena whose brow is mar- red by dust sweat and blood who if fails at least fails greatly daring so that his lot shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat Everyone from Ted David and Russell did a super job at a very special luncheon enjoyed by many It was just too bad I couldnt pick up the step Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year The only Place In Town For Delicious MONTREAL SMOKED MEAT OR CORNED BEEF MARTYS TOO RESTAURANT Georgetown Market Place A8777417tA Its that time again Its time to make the big decision on where to spend Christmas Each year for the past three years my and I have had to make this same decision Up until then life was pretty easy at holiday time You see then this here town WAS big enough for both my mom and his parents Those days were great I could spend Christmas Eve with his family skate back across the park to my house for the night be with my family Christmas morn ing slide back over to his place for the afternoon and bring him back home with me for Christmas dinner and the rest of the evening If this very liberal schedule still caused any domestic disputes we could always eat twice After all anything to keep the peace even another piece of pie Those days the turkey cer tainly wasnt the only thing stuff ed Then Mom moved away The annual skate through the holidays now sometimes glides over some very thin ice No more quick walks across the park for us A real decision has to be made Theres always post- Christmas for the loser family but one or the other must be the chosen location to be blessed with our presence As were not into a pattern yet this year is my fami ly next year is his This year we set the pattern The decision is difficult It can even get personal The differences between his family and mine are very evident and can be used as weapons on either side of the battle Take my family for example please Sorry about that folks but youll understand soon enough I am the youngest of six very prolific children Each is married Each except for me has children Except for my sister that is multiple children Altogether we total one mother six brothers and sisters six spouses and 13 children under the age of 10 Throw in a couple of grandmothers and we got us a football game both teams I thrive in this mayhem pro vided its for a limited time OPK other peoples kids are great I love them For those of you who havent caught fin to the concept heres why Dirty or wet Life In My Lane By DIANA mm 1 where we can celebrate Christmas This will be out first Christmas in our own home together Maybe its time we began to develop our own Christmas style started our own Christmas traditions Dont get me wrong I dont think either one of us is ready for a complete family withdrawal but I think were both seeing a relevance in other family tradi tions I think they could blend quite nicely Maybe in a few years when we are actually paying for the magic of Christmas ourselves well have our own pattern set Check back with us in a few years Church St Georgetown Ontario 8772359 diaper Here you go Mom Cry ing baby Oh here The poor boy needs his Daddy This time of year is especially great I get to see the magic of Christmas come to life and not pay to put it there This is why I make a ter rific aunt Hubby on the other hand always seems to get lost in the shuffle He can never find anyone to have a good conversation with because there is always some kid asking him to play a game or call ing him names and teasing him Also he always seems to get a headache which I cant unders tand I also dont get why he seems to float around the house aimlessly for the next few days saying blankly Its so quiet Its so peaceful Things are changing though My family wont be all together this year Sis and her family have moved out west and everyone is going to the inlaws for Christmas day I guess hubbys family wins out this year Here is his family Christmas Him me his mother and father his sister and her husband sitting around the tree talking Notice how I could name everyone pre sent If Santa were around he would say Ho Ho Hum I say What is Christmas without a crowd Hubby would translate What is Christmas with some sanity Im just kidding This more subdued style has grown on me a bit I can actually dressup without fear at his place Darn just when Hubby has developed enough muscle in his legs to carry six kids at once Actually this year at hubbys things will even be more crowded The new neice should liven up the joint Things are changing in other ways too This year for the first time we have a third place BEAM Builtin Vacuums The Beam Vacuum Miracle is back Systems inc 8732500 Our Customers Are Our Best Advertising 265 Guclph St Georgetown Ont L7G