Georgetown Herald (Georgetown, ON), April 19, 1991, p. 10

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WEEKEND OtnO0KFiMr April Sports predictions Well I suppose its that time of year again to look into ye olde crystal Jockstrap and come up with some truly insightful and predictions Or is that unsightly and flouring predic tions Whichever here we go This column was written before Friday nights heavyweight fight between World Champion and the Cheeseburger King George Foreman My prediction Is that Foreman will knock out within four rounds or die of malnutri tion And now that the Stanley Cup fisticuffs are wellunderway Foreman will then take on the survivor most likely the Ed monton Oilers in a rounds winnertakeall challenge match That should end the joke which has made the rounds for years about going to a boxing match only to see a hockey game breakout Dave Charlie Manson of the Chicago Blackhawks will act as cut man for Foreman while Bob Probert of the Detroit Red Wings will fill the other corner position Now that Torontos supposed major league baseball team the Blue Jokes have got their season In gear already blowing games they should have won it is safe to predict the team will finish no higher than third in the American League Least Division Dave SUeb is well on his way to yet another offyear following a relatively good season and the pitching staff is at best suspect John at first base replacing Fred McGriff is still in the prospect stage and learn ing how to play the position He should have been given a year in the minors Manuel Lee will prove a bust at shortstop and with no real backup on the major league roster the infield will be a headache all year I The Jays will need a lot of run production from the outfielders and aside from Joe Carter this wont materialize The Toronto will not even make it to the CFLs East Division Final The- reason typical for the too many offfield distractions The ownership troika of McNall Candy and Gretzky will attempt to drum up interest in the team but they will be selling themselves instead of the football product which will suffer Oftinjured quarterback Matt will again prove just how brittle he really is and once more be relegated to the sidelines Backup Ricky Fogie will once again wilt under pressure and now that much- maligned unfairly pivot John Congemi has departed for Ot tawa the Boatmen will be rud derless They also will be without a defensive game plan Don Matthews who jumped to the World League of American Football was a defensive genius He proved this with the BC Lions the Edmonton Eskimos and most recently the Argos New head coach Adam Rita is an offensiveminded mentor but as In any sport if you dont have much defence you dont win Which brings us to Torontos other socalled professional sports franchise the Multiple Laffs of the National Hockey League Nuffsaid As I see it anyway Editorial- Peels Corner The tier In the distance we hear a tune The whistler is coming hell be here soon Hes right on time as every day We wonder what greeting weshouldsay The whistler is strong but hes also kind A heart of gold and a musical mind He loves Tchaikovsky and Mozart too Yet hellwhistle a simple tune just for you He plays the piano and repairs them as well Rebuilds them from oldies then boy do they seU The whistler is coming his tune sounds so sad But we know when he sees us hell be very glad We dance with excitement as he enters the lane Our love for him will always remain The whistler is coming his tune now sounds mellow He is our Dad a very fine fellow By Rick Hamilton ALWAYS THERE If yon nave a problem and you feel nobody in the world Mem to care look my way Ill always be there became oar love tree and as long as we care yMll never be alone In the world we share by Sean Davis Acton BEAUTY Slender and young she silently sits staring Into the glow of the sun Long flowing hair capturing the essence of the light Golden eyed and on long powerful legs she rises Leaving with a smile etched on her face Jason Piper Acton LOVELIES Im beside myself with anger And my heart Is strewn In pieces And I feel as a part of me has died For he told me that he loves me And be thinks that Ill believe It And be wounded me with words I know he lied B Brooke Acton THE WALL AH my life Ive been alone Hidden away behind my wall Finally came the shining light Then the bricks began to fall Bat My hope of love and tenderness For me is bound to end For yoor love has found another And I am bat your friend If ever yon should need me Call and Ill be theft Bnt for now Ill rebuild that wall Against the love my heart cant share by John leld Acon The Halton Hills HERALD Home Newspaper of Hills Established A Division of Canadian Newspaper Company Limited 45 Guelph Street Georgetown Ontario L7G 3i6 K ROBERT Publisher and General Manager 8772201 San PRODUCTION MAKAQEfl CLASFIED CIRCULATION Mart Accountant and Stool Copy In 17040 I 0000 all TM copyrteM on an nan to Ha and National or MO Cathcart St MookvaL In not Haft lor Sanaa out el arrara la paid tar lha aetmay occupied to that portion Men Itw It to naollaanct lit aananta and th b no lor non any advarUaantanl amount paid lor auch Americans think were ugly One hates to create new for a nation as battered and uncertain as Canada is just now But Id feel dishonest if I withheld the following discovery from you Americans think were ugly Alas and alack this is true I read all about this in the newspaper under the shocking headline The Ugly Canadian At first I clung to the forlorn hope that this might be a story about just one Canadian in par ticular who merely happened to be physically unattractive I hoped the story might contain quotes along the lines of Well Berts a fine and noble fella just like all Canadians Its just too bad his mother beat him with an ugly stick But no This was a story detail ing the grievances the residents of a Michigan border town harbor against Canadian visitors According to American Canadians are notorious for shoplifting litter ing rudeness and lousy driving One resident was quoted as saying she once saw three Cana dian women get into a fistfight over a She added Sometimes I wonder who owns this country Canadians or Americans Well I laugh A hollow bitter laugh In response to this womans ac cusation No madam Canadians do not own the US We have never owned the VS We used to own part of Canada but free trade fixed that As for the charge that three Canadian women were seen fist- fighting over a turkey well wed need a few more details before we could respond to that one Who was the turkey Are you sure be WAS in fact a turkey or Weirs World y lan Weir Thomson Service did you just jump to this conclu sion after overhearing him men tion an issue he intended to raise the next time he attended Ques tion Period But theres a much more serious issue here Quite frankly its staggering to be accused of being ugly tourists by Americans of all people This is a bit like having Goliath cell you a philistine Being a Canadian Im natural ly too polite to make disparaging remarks about American tourists Suffice it to say that any Canadian who has ever travelled abroad has had the experience of sharing a restaurant with a bunch of Americans The Americans are the ones complaining in loud voices that the breakfasts here just dont measure up to the ones they serve at the Burger King in Des Moines The Canadian is the one whos trying desperately to fake a British accent so he doesnt get mistaken for an American The plain fact is that Canadians are universally known as lovely tourists A British travel writer once referred to Canada as a white waste of time but everyone knows were all polite quiet and deferential Its part of the national character It comes from all those winter evenings we spend discussing curling and watching Hinterland Whos Who I mean just compare Canada and the US Their national sym bol is an eagle Ours is a beaver They have LA and We have Medicine Hat and Fred Davis The Americans themselves know what lovely people we are I read another news item the other day about a New York man who Is actually marketing fake Cana dian passport covers which will enable American tourists to pass themselves off as Canucks when abroad r And now out of the blue a border town in Michigan accuses us of being rude pushy messy and larcenous There must be some mistake There just has to be Possibly the real culprit in all of this is that en trepreneur in New York Obviously those arent Cana dians in that Michigan border town a tail Theyre all New Yorkers with phony passport covers Write us a letter The Herald wants to hear from you If you have an opinion you want to express or a comment to make send us a letter or drop by the office Our address is Guelph Street Georgetown On tario L7G All letters must be signed Please include your address and telephone number for verifica tion The Herald reserves the right to edit letters due to space limita tions

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