the HERALD Wednesday November 13 Community News Page Psychological abuse also takes a deadly toil IONI He raid Special The following it i true account of ally anil psychologic ally abused woman as received by regular Herald correspondent on family violence Palmer In his book A Season in Hell Percy Knaulh tells us thai when a person s fantasy world is more real than the real world around him he needs professional help Because to this individual his fantasy world appears lo be real he often cannot know he is ill How can we help this person How can we rescue the family I have lived in this house for over years is a stone and brick ranch bungalow with a wo car garage It stands on three quarters of an acre with a river drifting gently by in a pictures que village where one can still walk a dog laic al night and fuel relatively safe To the world outside we are a normal happy family Our children survived high school without being involved in the drug scene They graduated from university and college happily got married and with more than the required time one of them gave us an adorable grandchild to make our happiness complete My husband goes to vyork each Family violence panel discussion From Committee For Improving Family Relationships Pamela B Johnston Chair November is Family Violence Month According to a 1990 Halton Social Planning Council study one in four women in the Halton Region is abused and On tano statistics state that one in four women in Onlano is sexually assaulted As advocates for tm proved relationships among and within families our committee is sponsoring a panel discussion at the Hills Cultural Centre Gallery on Nov at 30 p m The discussion will focus on Family Violence Abuse and How It Affects Its Victims All victims of abuse need help and support from their commum ty to be able to deal with the violence affecting their lives In particular society has a to protect its women and children from abuse and part of that responsibility involves being able lo recognize the symptoms Ending abusive relationships and overcoming the effects of violence are not easy but as neighbors we must work together to help and support victims We believe that in Halton Hills we can make a difference Ry giving members of the public the tools lo help them recognize the characteristics of abuse the committee hopes thai violence will be diminished in Hills We invite the citizens of Halton Hills to come and to participate in this discussion Short presenta lions will be followed by a ques and answer period Participating as part of the panel are Johnston a lifetime resident of Hills and herself a victim of family violence will share how that violence has affected her life and how she has been able to develop the support system to overcome the effects of abuse She will also discuss the effects that this violence has had on her three younger children says I believe that if members had recognized that I was suffering from the effects of abuse I would have received the help needed much earlier 8739372 a tor of the United Way has been a long time resident of Halton Hills who has volunteered her time to help establish Hope Treatment Centre on Highway 25 taken up the cause of battered women and abused children and worked with the Children s Aid Society to help with their foster parents pro gram Bev is actively involved in helping reduce alcohol and substance abuse among women Bev says 1 worked with many Halton Hills families and the needs are enormous and the services too few Kim Smid 873 resident of Hills and a recovered victim of family has utilized the services of Women s Place She will talk about her expenences and the of abuse on her fife and how she was able to recover from that abuse Kim says I just want to talk to women to help them to open up and admit the abuse that is their lives if I can contribute to one person get ting help it will be worth it There will be other panel ticipants PUBLIC INFORMATION CENTRE EXTENSION TO THE HAMLET OF GLEN WILLIAMS TOWN OF HALTON HILLS GEORGETOWN REVIEW OF THE DETAILED DESIGN DATE Thursday November 21 TIME 5 to 9 00 PLACE Glen Williams Public School Main Street Glen Williams This Information Centre is being held to provide the public with an opportunity to review the detailed design drawings for the proposed water main extension Interested persons are invited to drop in any time during the above hours Regional staff and the Consultant will be available to answer your questions regarding the proect For further information please contact Katnna Blom at extension 7612 at the following telephone numbers From Georgetown 878 81 From Acton 853 0501 Joan A Eaglesham Regional Clerk help us HELP OURSELVES day and is held in high esteem his business colleagues Whal more could anyone wanf And yet I am thinking of leaving leaving this year relationship because for the past six years f have been psycholgically abused and remained silent After over of being faithful and always home by side my husband is Off Out He HAS to do his own thing Even Saturday from dawn to midnight he takes off with some woman no not alwavs the same woman he changes partners His princess of the moment is ireated to expensive gifts and fine wining and dining How do I know I been phoned b an expensive clothing store ing how I liked the sweater husband had purchased there for my birthday and a jewellery store called twice to tell my my ring Where he had once been generous to us he now cheats by failing to pay his share of the presents bought He keeps me very short of necessary money meanwhile going on expensive holidays and buying himself more clothes than we can possibly store Why have put up with if Because I know this man needs help and I ve remained What has been done to help him Nothing No one in authority has ever talk to him although they have told me and I have told him of the conversations tells me he is OK Well he certainly does not act as if he is OK In the days of his problem when was planning to leave he threatened lo burn the house down with me in it So of course I did not leave I afraid of this man who has lifetime partner However I don want to go on like ihis I am forever walking on egg shells No he doesn I drink He just lies and cheats He renege on our arrangements rejects us and our puritan values constant lv jabs at me ing sure to give he knife an extra twist for good measure When I confront him he tells me I vt got all wrong he could not behave and thai it didn t happen like that at all What do the other famih members have to say They say That man walking around in that body Is not the man that related to me A lot of men go astray At least he t left you Sometimes I wish he would leave me He puts on a beautiful facade to the outside world and to himself Bui I recognize I am to blame because I let him do it to me to us He needs to be hostile It the only way he can handle the anger thats within him because he won admit it there It nothing to do with you he often tells me When we part he will abuse someone else because I won be there to abuse Yes I know a lot about psychological patterns but understanding does not make it easier to live with them I have to leave It is the only answer It is sad to give up after having given so much to make it work I know it won I be easy And one other thing m band has Ihree brothers The wives of two of these men took their own lives But we don like to talk about that ABUSE A of lolence free lo contact by dmchng letters to her attention at the Herald All correspondence will remain confidential Should wish lo sneak Jaeie tall the Distress Centre and call will he retuimd If an a woman or child in crisis an male wanting all Ihi Distress r dial tlidKllRALD Town BUYER SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE For More Information Or To Advertise Call 8772201