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www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Friday, May 17, 2013 | 26 Jon Kuiperij Sports Editor sports@oakvillebeaver.com Sports At the time, there was no Jason Collins -- the 12-year NBA veteran who became the first openly gay athlete in a professional North American team sport when he told his story in the May 6 issue of Sports Illustrated. "Growing up, I never had that type of role model," Fautley said. "For me it was Will & Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. (The athlete) is not the stereotype you see in the media and on TV." The environment surrounding the Queen's volleyball team did little to make Fautley believe that the two could co-exist. He began dreading going to practice. It became a job -- go to the gym, practise, get out. Prior to the playoffs, Fautley met with Willis and told her he wasn't coming back, telling her that he could no longer play with his teammates. "It was difficult to give up a sport I was so passionate about," he said. "Volleyball was the only area of life I hadn't come out. When you're so unhappy in one area, it loses its lustre when you don't feel comfortable to be who you are." Willis pressed Fautley to find out why he was leaving the team, but he just said he was having a hard time personally. "Bryan is intelligent, attractive, athletic, he comes from a good family," Willis said. "I just couldn't understand what could be wrong." She continued to press to find the root of the problem, and finally after about 40 minutes, Fautley finally told her he was gay. "I remember thinking, `Is that all?'" Willis said. Fautley told his coach the homophobic comments were the biggest problem. Willis encouraged Fautley to tell his teammates but he wasn't comfortable doing so. "Based on the language they used on a regular basis, it didn't really promote any positive outcomes if you were to come out," he said. Willis called a meeting, but not wanting to out her player, she told the team she wanted improved behaviour, everything from eliminating swearing and homophobic comments to thanking the people who brought them towels. Fautley had already decided he would not be back, though. He was determined to make nationals a positive experience to finish his volleyball career. Willis hoped Fautley would reconsider. When Willis couldn't convince Fautley to come back, she again asked if he would tell the team. They agreed that Willis would tell Joren Zeeman, one of the team's veterans. Willis said Zeeman felt bad that he might have contributed to Fautley feeling uncomfortable. The two players met and talked. "Connected to your Community" Homophobic talk made player resent teammates A continued from p.1 t the beginning of the season, Fautley was standing on the court when a teammate motioned toward a rookie trying out for the team. "I think that guy is gay," he said. "We should probably watch our mouths." Fautley could not believe what he was hearing. For two years he had heard his teammates make comments like, `We can beat these guys, they're a bunch of faggots.' Nobody had ever thought to watch what they were saying before. Nobody had ever considered the impact statements like that might have. Nobody knew Fautley was gay. When the rookie didn't make the team, with no apparent reason for players to watch their mouths, the homophobic comments not only returned, they become more prevalent than ever. Fautley had already started to withdraw from his teammates. He didn't hang out with them away from the court. On road trips, he settled into his seat on the bus, put on his headphones and blocked out the noise. During the Christmas break the team went on a trip to Europe, playing games in Holland and Germany. Trips like that are meant to bring teams together. Instead the derogatory comments continued. It only made Fautley resent his teammates even more. "Usually I'd spend two hours a day with them at practice, there I was with them all day," he said of the 12-day trip. "It was an absolute nightmare." It turned out to be his breaking point. The previous year, Fautley had told a few friends at school that he was gay. After returning home from Europe, he sat down with his parents and told them. The support he received was encouraging. Still, it only reminded him there was one area of his life where he had to hide who he was. · · · · Fautley had played volleyball since he was 11 years old. He excelled in track and field, particularly in high jump and triple jump and, being tall, his skills translated well to volleyball. He began attending camps and by 16 he was playing the sport at the club level. At Iroquois Ridge High School, he helped the Trailblazers win their first Halton title in a decade. At that time, he was struggling to come to terms with his own sexuality. There were, what he calls, dark times when he didn't even want to look at himself in the mirror. Fautley struggled trying to reconcile two opposing images of himself. "I was having these feelings but at the same time thinking, `I'm an athlete.'" Iroquois Ridge High School grad Bryan Fautley (left) goes up for a hit while playing for the Queen's University Gaels men's volleyball team. Fautley, who is gay, quit the Gaels after his third season because of the homophobic environment surrounding the club.| photo by Ian MacAlpine -- courtesy of Queen's University "I left that chat with him so much more optimistic," Fautley said. One-by-one, with Fautley's permission, Willis told other players. He either met with the players or got e-mails apologizing. "They weren't bad guys. There was not a deep hatred for gay people. That type of language just flows out of mouths so easily. If I'd see one player outside that team environ- ment, in class or in the cafeteria, that language never came out," Fautley said. "It's so culturally engrained. They were just saying what they heard. It's a snowball and it keeps rolling. The snowball rolls until someone stops it." "As soon as you can match a face to the words you are saying, it gives it relevance." see Fautley on p.27