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B4 - The Canadian Champion, Friday, April 21, 2006 How arn I? 'Twice as good as being dead' or I wish I knew' Fine thank you, how are you? Since we were kids, that was what we said whenever somebody asked us how we were. Occasionaliy we might say "good" or "flot bad" or even "okay" but the majority of the time it was "fine." You ask my two year-old granddaughter bow sine is and sheil1 say, "Fine." Somne time ago 1 had a desire t0 say something different. i don't know why, i just did. Oh, most of the time I'd stili say, "fine" but more and more i started saying, "Could be worse." I think thats fairiy funny and fairly clever, but mostly ils just different. More interesting were the responses i've tracked over the Iast year or so. Here are the resuits. Females up to the age of about 30 would laugh, flot a lot, but îhey'd at ieast make a Iaugh- ing noise. Females between 30 and 55 would often smile polite- Iy, and femnales and maies older than that would often agree îotaliy because they knew it was true, quite often giving an exampie from their own lives. Maies under 55 gave no response at ail, in almost every case. Mosly, i think because they weren't listening, and part- iy because they considered it neither funny nor clever. i know what would gel a reaction from the younger maies. Theres a whoie series of "Happier than.-"but wiîhouî exception they cant be printed in a publication available on the lower shelves. i need something original, maybe even something that makes people think or at least amuses me. For exampie, i remember somebody i worked for who would always say: "You're the second greatest." Finaliy one day 1 bit and asked who was firsî. "Everybody else is tied for first," i was informed. Okay, you get the idea, so lets try a couple responses to, "How are you?" "Twice as gond as being dead." You see if you know your multiplication tables, two limes zero is stili zero. Almost clever. 1I wish 1 knew" It doesnt mean anything, but the person who asked won't know what it means either and it might bug them trying to figure it out. 'Give me five bucks and l tell you.' This ensures that peo- pie are actually interested in how you are. And at the same lime you can make a healthy second income. "My lawyer says I don't have te0 answer any ques- tions." This is especially gond for certain situations. "Sehr gut, danke." Either they know you're speaking German and wiIl answer in German, or they'll think you're speaking gibberish and just nod their head. "My therapist thinks I'm coming along fine." "l'm fat and I'm stupid, how do you think I am?" I like this for the shock value, but the problemr is that ils just stating the obvious. "l'm the second greatest." i really like this one a lot, espe- cially if they ask whos first. You know the question will be going through their heads, but whether they ask the question or not will be fun to see. 1 think we have a winner. How am 1? 1 feel like l'm the second greatest. &(.UlearSoluti>on Coumsdling, Tbep & Do You Want to feel better about yourself? Reduce and even rld yourself of depression or anxiety? Heal the effects of trauma once and for ail? Live with more authenticit, meaning and purpose, inner joy and peace? Be Iess reactive and Iess stressed in your day-to-day life? Connect with your passion for life? Have heaithier relationshlps? Learn how to cope with and even reduce chronic and nagging pain? What if we told you '/a ia CIearS.I.tI.. Coumsellng, Tberapy and Medlatloe is committed to helping you to clear and resolve negative forces and conflicts in your life. Psychologist Donna Lodoett PhD has been studying psychology and healing for over 20 years and speclalizes in stress reduction, trauma, relationships, and health. Donna wiIl be hosting two spring series at an incredibly reduced rate. lPComU" M«dà« eu"4 aote SPRING INTO LIFE: HOW TO LIVE "IN PROCESS" What is Living in Process? It is learning to live completely, joyfully, calmly, authentically, with responsibility, awareness and compassion for yourself and others. It means working through the chaos "inside" so that no matter what happens on the "outside", peace and calmness are your reaction. It means sharing in relationships that are rich, fulfilling, and healthy. This series wiII offer the basics on Living in Process. A combination of teaching, group discussions and exercises wiIl guide you as you begin to live the life you have been Ionging too live! Saturday, May 13, 2006, 2-4pm Saturday, June 3, 2006, 2-4pm Saturday, June 17, 2006, 2-4pm Series 1: Understanding why your life is in constant chaos and how to change it Series 2: Starting to live in process: healing the past, moving forward in time Series 3: Living in prooess: how to enjoy healthy relationships Contact Donna 905-302-9481 donna@clearsoltI,,s4.com www.clearsolutons4,.com à) (a great demi less than $100-200/hr for therapyli) MEDITATION: IT'S EASIER THAN YOU THINK This 8 week program is designed to teach you some very basic meditation skiIIs. The different techniques will help in different ways and are designed to offer a variety of strategies so you can choose which feels most right for you. Each class will include somne discussion on the topic for the evening and an opportunity to practice the technique. SPRING SESSION: Thursdys, 7:30-8:30, flrst clus; Tliursday, April 27t1 Week 1: What is meditation and how can it help Week 2: Meditation for relaxation Week 3: Mindfulness meditation Week 4: Meditation as a way of healing your body ' 'ua Week 5: Using voice in meditationj Week 6: Meditation to help open your heart vdbei Week 7: Meditation as a tool to cultivate forgiveness Week 8: Discovering your truth through meditation . t12oVi 'I1