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M Controlled chaos and the hairy tale of a guy gone rogue when ying solo That's Life Andy Juniper veggies. And, I can say with honestly the house is considerably cleaner when I'm home alone than at any other time (granted, this may be more from the absence of messy offspring). All of which is not to suggest that when my wife goes away , a little chaos doesn't ensue. It's just that the chaos is a tad more... controlled. The bachelor life suits me well. The moment my wife abandons me, I abandon my razor. I barbecue everything, from breakfast to a midnight snack, mix odd drinks at odd hours, stay up late reading, and regardless I still get up early. I suppose I'm just seizing the day. The rst week my wife and daughter were away , I was in heaven. Early into the second week I was hit with a realization: I could live this way , forever. Only it would kill me after a couple of weeks. Hey , I'm a guy gone rogue. Waiting for my wife to return and, well, un-rogue me. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook, or followed on Twitter . 13 | Thursday, July 18, 2013 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com y wife left me. Actually , chronologically speaking, I left her. Then I came back. And then she left me. All of which resulted in me becoming, like Neil Diamond before me, a Solitary Man. That is, a married man transported back to bachelorhood. A guy gone rogue. This summer my wife and I opted Guest Contributor to take separate vacations to satisfy di- in most cases, conveniently chose not vergent interests. I took one of our sons to know) the basics of domestic life. on a road trip to assorted baseball parks Times change. Today , most men are in America. And my wife whisked our at least sort-of self-suf cient. They can daughter off on an extended tour of clean-up after themselves, locate most western Canada, from Vancouver to of the modern magical machines like Banff and Lake Louise ("The Highest the washer/dryer, dishwasher, and Town In Canada," which I believe re- even the vacuum., and can rustle up fers to elevation). enough decent grub to prevent themSandwiched between the two trips selves from getting scurvy. we had just enough time together to When my wife ies the coop, I eat brie y exchange hugs, swap news, and like a king. I barbecue feasts, replete share a bottle of California Chardon- with mountains of meat and grilled nay out on the deck before racing off to the airport. Regardless, the point is FUTURE SHOP CORRECTION NOTICE that my wife up and left me to my own NEWSPAPER RETRACTION FOR THE FUTURE SHOP JULY 12 CORPORATE FLYER In the July 12 flyer, page 19, devices, to fend for myself. the HP Wireless All-In-One Printer/Scanner/Copier/Fax (8600) Years ago, this missive would have (WebCode: 10176001) was advertised in error. Please be advised that this product should be the Brother Colour Inkjet 4-In-1 Printer been titled: An Incompetent On His (MFC4410DW) (Web Code:10237724) with the same specs and Own and would have been rife with price at $139.99, save $50. 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