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www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Thursday, September 19, 2013 | 16 The trials of caring for a `hopped-up' hound post-surgery ith the possible exception of 55-year-old Madonna sporting a new gold grill (sadly, on her teeth, not her barbecue), there's nothing in this world sadder and more pathetic than a dog wearing a cone. In case you're unfamiliar with the dreaded cone -- a.k.a. the Elizabethan collar, or the doggie lampshade -- it's a comical, er, conical device that ts around a dog's neck to prevent licking and scratching. Actually, now that I think about W it, there is indeed something sadder than both grilled Madonna and a dog wearing a cone, and that's a sluggish, stoned, stitched-up dog wearing a cone. Alas, that's how I found my old pal Zoey, my faithful companion of nineplus years, when I picked him up at the vet's of ce following surgery -- sluggish, stoned, stitched-up. The poor hound was in pain from having been under the knife, groggy and unbalanced from anesthetic, and surely humiliated by the cone around That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor his neck. It was all he could do to navigate (careen) down the wheelchair ramp into the parking lot. And it was all I could do to hoist his aching body and that awkward cone into the car. He whimpered all the way home, refusing to out-and-out cry because he's a dog -- and dogs are tougher than nails. Surgery. Honestly, it had been a long time coming. A few years ago, we started discovering small lumps on Zoey's body. Our vet tested them and found that they were nothing more than common fatty deposits. We had no intention of putting Zoey through cosmetic surgery, so we lived with the bumps and watched as they slowly grew. Well, a couple months ago one of the lumps underwent a manic growth spurt. Before we knew it, Zoey was carrying a baseball-sized growth on his breastbone and that baseball had grown into a football. This was no longer an issue of removing the growth for cosmetic reasons; the boy could barely haul the growth around. Hey, Zoey, anything you want to get see Nine on p.22 + 14 Door Crashers & MORE 4002 Trafalgar Rd. 50 Oakville SALE: S September eptember 19 9 to 25 th th % OFF Guelph Beds! Kitchener 94 Dundas St. E. SEPT 21ST & SEPT 22ND Over 120 juried crafts people In the Great Gambrel Barn, The Aberfoyle Town Hall and Individual Exhibitor Tents AT: CRAFT SHOW Handmade Quality Great Food Live Entertainment The Milton Farm Saturday & Sunday 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Adults $6.00 Children Under 12 FREE Parking FREE Select beds. See online or in store Door crashers are Fri., Sat. & Sun. COUNTRY HERITAGE PARK Take Hwy. 25 North to Milton & follow the signs. 20 Brock Rd. N. 1525 Victoria St. N. Waterdown Check out the flyer on renspets.com (In the Walmart Plaza) 8560 Tremaine Road 905-878-8151 $ OB www.miltonfarmcraftshows.com ONE ADMISSION WITH THIS AD 1 OFF Free PANDORA Bracelet with $125 purchase of PANDORA Jewellery* September 19-22 *Free sterling silver PANDORA Clasp or Bangle Bracelet ($75 CAD retail value). Before taxes. While supplies last, limit one per customer. Charms sold separately. See store for details. Sterling silver charms from $29 Mapleview Centre Burlington, ON Upper Level Centre Court 905.632.5400 Some jewelry displayed patented (US Pat. No. 7,007,507) · © Pandora · PANDORA.NET