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C Dynamic doggie duo has owner living in a `kennel of crazy' That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor 9 | Thursday, April 17, 2014 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com ommon sense suggests people purchase dogs that have personalities similar to their own. And research-supported science says over time, those dogs further take on the personalities of the people they live with. Obviously in our case, common sense is nonsense and research-supported science is science ction when you consider that of all the dogs in the world, we ended up with two that are multi-phobic and neurotic. I mean, how could such nuttier-than-fruitcake creatures ever t in to our sensible and sane household? That was a joke, dear readers. Of course these dogs t in. Consider our oldest dog -- Zoey suffers from claustrophobia and astraphobia (fear of storms) and is positively petri ed of power outages. Meanwhile, puppy Phoebe has gastrointestinal issues (when gassy, she can clear a room) and generally behaves in a manner that our daughter aptly describes as "cuckoobananas." Did I mention it's a perfect t? The dogs are cuckoo-bananas. We're all cuckoo-bananas. Basically, we live in a kennel of crazy. Zoey is a Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen (that's fancy way of saying, French hound). This week he turned 10. It's hard to believe our boy is 70 in human years, he's still goofy and pup-like. Sometimes when I let him outside he tears around the property like he's possessed, for reasons no one can quite comprehend. Granted, there are days when he acts every bit his age, barely making it out of bed because he's hobbled by the insidious aches of the elderly and an arthritic leg joint. Zoey has always been a character. As a pup, we discovered he's claustrophobic. Now, as he inches up there in age, he's become increasingly, ah, eccentric. At the approach of a storm -- or if there's just a strong wind whipping around or, heaven help us, the power goes out -- he goes batty. And when batty, he insists on being outside. So, if you come to our house at 3 a.m., in a raging storm (rain, snow, it doesn't matter), watch out for the hound who paces and pants and cries until we let him out into nature's wrath; he'll be sitting in the middle of the driveway getting pelted by the elements. Phoebe is a baby Boxer. Eight-months-old and full of both energy and insanity. From the moment she wakes to the second she nally succumbs to sleep, energy and insanity. To burn off these elements, we walk her constantly and we buy her toys to play with. Oh, how she loves her toys. She always has one in her mouth, and she loves showing you that she has one in her month. Alas, she tears through these toys. We've had to take out another mortgage on the house just to keep the gassy girl supplied. It didn't take long for Phoebe to t in with the family and become one of us -- nutty and neurotic. The two dogs like to believe they stand guard over us. So, if ever a rare silence and calm envelops the house, these Einsteins imagine they hear a suspicious sound and begin barking madly. Breaking the silence, killing the calm, and keeping the whole household forever on edge. Oh, how cuckoo-bananas -- and very, very Juniper -- of them. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www.facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www.twitter.com/thesportjesters. Job Searching? We can help. 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