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I Weathering the perfect and `pitiful' storm of physical ailments That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor 5 | Thursday, May 22, 2014 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com n sports-speak, you would say that I'm playing in pain and, in doing so, I'm taking one for the team. Or you could just simply say that I've physically fallen apart. Completely, utterly. Granted, this physical collapse did not occur overnight. No, it's been slowly and slyly coming on for years. I'd blow out a knee. Then I'd blow out the other knee, just for matching effect. Then I'd blow out the rst knee all over again. I'd get tendonitis in my elbow and be unable to lift a coffee cup for six months and then I'd get tendonitis in the shoulder and be unable to put on my own sock. Well, recently, all these insidious ailments came together in one perfect, pathetic and pitiful storm. football as a teenager, and have `blown-out' innumerable times since, in assorted endeavors. Just to make things interesting, I also had tightness in both shoulders. Body aches pile up Being an idiot, I thought I could exercise through these annoyances. Within days, my knee swelled signi cantly and pretty much locked up. And my shoulders began screeching with immobilizing pain. Somehow I'd managed to cripple myself to the degree where my shoulders were useless and my gait was sad and shuf ing. To the degree where my 84-yearold mother-in-law beat me handily in a 10-metre dash. To the point where, I took the two dogs out for a morning hobble -- one hound We'd just returned from a restorative holiday. And while my outlook had been amply adjusted by sun, surf and sand, my body had been aggravated by long beach walks, scenic cycling and the season's rst sweet swings of the golf clubs. Which is to say I was experiencing considerable tightness and discomfort in my left knee -- for those keeping score at home, that's the knee I initially injured playing pulling my left arm, triggering searing pain; the other pulling my right arm, triggering searing pain. Soon into the walk, it started to pour. Soon thereafter my shoe came untied. And, in my stiff and sore state, I was incapable of bending over to tie it. So, I hobbled home: shoulders being yanked from their sockets, knee pounding, soaked to the bone, shoe falling off.... Still their go-to guy Of course my family is having nothing to do with my condition. They're not throwing me a pity party. Gardens to be weeded? I'm still their man. Heavy patio furniture to be moved? I'm still their guy. Beyond being humbled by simple chores, my days are spent heating and icing affected areas. Imbibing anti-in ammatories. And wonder- ing how I fell apart so completely, so quickly. Seriously, I'm so sore it takes me 20 minutes just to nd a way to crawl out of bed in the morning. Imagine how long it takes me to get anything done. Of all the people in my so-called life, only my daughter's boyfriend asked if I needed any help with anything. Naturally, I asked him for something simple: to move in with me and become my fulltime nurse. No idea why, but he hasn't been seen around here since. So, I soldier on. Solo. Constantly playing in pain, continually taking one for the team. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www.facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www.twitter. com/thesportjesters. MAY DAZE 50 % SALE OFF Get 50% off the following Zumba · Yoga · Line Dancing That's as low as $8.18 / class. Call Now. Offer ends May 31/14. Call for FREE Estimate www.comedancing.ca · 905.339.3373 · 609 Ford Dr. ( S. E. corner at Royal Windsor ) Interlocking Tumblestone, Retaining Walls, Garden Installation, Sodding & Excavating, plus more (905) 827-8158 · www.rogerslandscaping.org SAVE! Exclusive GROUP TRAVEL ADVENTURES with the Oakville Chamber of Commerce including: www.uniglobeadvhouse.com China Discovery Tour 12 Days ­ Oct. 7 ­ 18, `14 Imperial Cities Prague/Vienna/Budapest ­ 11 Days ­ Oct. 13 ­ 23, `14 Discover Croatia Lake Bled/Dalmation Coast/Dubrovnik ­ 12 Days ­ Nov. 1 - 12, `14 India Journey of the Senses ­ 12 Days ­ Feb. 6 ­ 19, `15 Tropical Costa Rica 9 Days ­ Mar. 21 ­ 29, `15 NOW& BOOK INJURED? I Can Help! YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY UNLESS I GET YOU MONEY My team of experienced lawyers can help you with: · Car accidents · Slip and Falls · Disability Claims (Short-Term Disability, Long-Term Disability, CPP) · Wrongful Dismissal OFFICES IN OAKVILLE AND TORONTO For a free consultation call: Oakville: 905.842.2022 or Toronto: 416.351.9222 email: sspadafora@slspc.ca 905-845-6631 800-268-3273 ADVENTURE HOUSE TRAVEL #Wedon'tdocan't. For detailed information contact: UNIGLOBE Adventure House Travel chambertripinfo@advhouse.com 1660 North Service Rd. E., Unit 102, Oakville, Ontario Sam Spadafora Injury and Employment Law