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The Oakville Beaver, Wednesday A pril 2, 2003 - A5 Theme day raised student's awareness of mental health By Paula Henriques OAKVILLE BEAVER STA FF Violence is not bom. it is taught. According to Julie Pehar, of Equity Vision Educational Services specializing in human rights and diversity education, society somehow teaohes children to become violent. "So if it's learned, it can be untaught,"she told the students at Appleby College last week. Pehar was one of the keynote speak ers during the school's annual Theme Day. one day of the school year dedicat ed to raising awareness on world issues through workshops, films, discussion groups and presentations. This year's theme was mental health and addiction awareness. Pehar spoke to the students about positive youth relationships, and gave clear indicators of the exact opposite. Though physical violence is the one type of abuse that is most talked about, she said verbal assault continues to be the number one form of abuse. "Children call it bullying, but really it is verbal abuse. The put downs, the jokes, insults. When called on it. the perpetuator will say. `I was only joking. You're being too sensitive.'" Emotional, sexual, isolation, neglect, economic, elder, disability and spiritual are also forms of abuse that people aren't completely informed about, she explained. Using sexual abuse as an example, she said two-thirds of spousal victims are assaulted more than once, and women are five times more likely to get killed by their spouse. Photos by Barrie Erskine · Oakville Beaver As p a rt of Appleby College's Them e Day on m ental health and addiction aw areness, the Y-Touring group from London, England perform ed a play called C rack ed , which explores the issues o f depression and suicide. Julie Pehar, right, focused on healthy relationship and the w arning signs of abuse. "Legally, we should be protected, but laws don't always protect women and children and women don't always recog nize abuse." She told the true story of a 19-yearold girl named Monica who was stabbed to death by her boyfriend in 1991: the warning signs of abuse clear two years before the fatal end. Threatening statements like "I'll kill myself if you leave." isolation from fam ily and friends, justifying jealousy as a sign of love, fear o f your partner or expressing opinions, giving up activities because he or she doesn't like them, and feeling like you have to walk on eggshells to avoid conflict were just some of the warning signs in Monica's relationship. Pehar explained that many people stay with their abusive partner because they feel they can help them or that they are the only ones in the world who understand them, but really, the abusive partner needs to fix themselves first. "Generally if you are not a whole per son yourself, the relationship won't be whole. A relationship can't be made up of two broken people, or one whole per son. and the other broken. You have to build up your own self-esteem and gain confidence." she said. "Those who have experienced vio lence or live with violence in the home. you are not destined to be a violent part ner or choose a violent partner, but you are at a higher risk." Healthy relationships. Pehar explained consist of negotiation and fair ness, non-threatening behaviour, eco nomic partnership, shared responsibility, responsible parenting, honesty and accountability, trust, support, and respect. But it is not only abuse that threatens positive youth relationships. "Isms" can also affect them: racism, sexism, agisrn, classism and heterosexism. "Women and girls remain the highest globally oppressed group in the world." she said. "And that structure is under the guise of religion, tradition, in privacy of their own homes, in equity of pay. being the recipients of violence... "Women are still viewed as sexual objects or as a possession by media, videos and magazines." ' She explained these "isms" come across as privileges and remembers when she was first asked whether she was aware of her white privilege. "I was mad. I was not a racist. But did you know there are heterosexual privi leges, able bodied privileges? Understanding this is important, recog nizing it is crucial," she said. She said language in general needs to be changed, and expressions like black listed, black sheep, and similar expres sions for sexism and heterosexism needs to stop being used. "We need to challenge these isms," she said. new b a la n c e YOUR SHOES SHOULD BE AS WIDE AS YOUR FEET. Men's Soccer Shoe SC802BMA O A K V IL LE REVISED NOTICE OF PUBLIC MEETING Official Plan Amendment Palermo Area (south of Dundas Street West), Part of Lots 29, 30, 31 & 32, Concession 1, S.D.S. File 42.15.09 - OPA No. 228 Please be advised that a public meeting will be held to discuss a proposed Official Plan Amendment prepared by the Town of Oakville. This am endm ent is being prepared in conjunction with the update of the Palermo Area Land Use Study. Town Council will host the meeting, and a staff report and recommendations will be considered. The meeting will be held on Monday. April 2 8. 2 0 0 3 commencing at 7:30 p.m. in the Council C ham bers. Town Hall. 1225 Trafalgar Road. Oakville. The meeting previously scheduled for Monday, April 14, 2 0 0 3 has been cancelled. Any individuals wishing to attend the meeting and speak to this matter are invited to do so. A summary of the proposal and a description and key map of the land affected may be found below. If a person or public body that files a notice of appeal of a decision in respect of the proposed Official Plan amendment to the Ontario Municipal Board does not make oral submissions at a public meeting, or does not make written submissions before the proposed amendment is approved, the Ontario Municipal Board may dismiss all or part of the appeal. Copies of the proposed official plan amendment will be available from the Planning Services Department as of April 8. 2 0 0 3 . A copy of the staff report pertaining to this matter will be available for review in the Clerk's Department as of April 21, 2 0 0 3 between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Any questions or written submissions may be directed to: Lesley E. Gill Woods, B.E.S. Planner - Community Planning, Planning Services Department Town of Oakville, P.O. Box 310, 1225 Trafalgar Road, Oakville ON L6J 5A6 Telephone: 8 45-6601, ext. 3028; E-mail: lqillwoods@oakville.ca L ocation: The subject lands are generally located on the east and w est sides of Bronte Road (Regional Road 2 5) betw een Dundas Street W est (Regional Road 5) and the TransCanada Pipeline corridor. They include the lands south of the pipeline corridor betw een the existing Bronte Road and the future Bronte Road realignment. The lands com prise a total area of approximately 83.3 ha (206 acres). Official P lan : The lands surrounding the intersection of Dundas Street West and Bronte Road are described as the "Palermo Major Transit Node Special Study Area" in Part E, Section 4.3 of the Official Plan. The Plan envisions that the node will function as a major transit interchange, providing both the origin and destination for a high proportion of transit trips in the Region. It will support a wide range of high intensity land uses and be pedestrian-oriented in its design. Figure Q: l/l/esf Oak Trails - The lands on the east side of Bronte Road are W id th s fo r all your lifestyle needs. from running. walking & cross training to casual wear. S O C C E R LU O R I 187 Cross A venu e (Across from Oakville GO) Not all models available in all widths. (905) 8 1 5 - 8 9 3 9 2A S E tb 6E 'M m m m a s s s im w e m S ' i M o r r is o n H ouse APRIL FLATWARE EXC H A N G E designated 'Transit Node Special Study Area' (including som e 'Natural Area' and a `Separate Elementary School' site). Figure R: Palermo West - The lands on the west side of Bronte Road are designated as `Future Study Area' (including `Place of Worship', `Potential Park Expansion' and `Future/Potential School Site'). All u sed FLA TW A R E BE W IL L TO D O N A TED Halton Wo m en s P l a c e , the A SH ELTER IN FOR NEED. W OM EN ANY FL A T W A R E P U R C H A S E * W HEN YOU D O N A T E l O O R M ORE P IE C E S O F YOU R U S E D FLA TW A R E! Zoning: The majority of the subject lands are zoned 'A - Agricultural'. There are site-specific zoning regulations that apply to certain properties. The existing Palermo Park is zoned '0 1 - Public Open Space' and the Palermo Cemetery is zoned `0 3 - Semi-Public Open Space. The commercial plaza at the southwest corner of Dundas Street West and Bronte Road is zoned `C4 - Rural Commercial1, subject to a special provision. P roposal: The proposed Official Plan Amendment will create a secondary plan for the Palermo Study Area south of Dundas Street West. A variety of urban land use designations will be provided in the plan to permit uses including: residential, commercial, institutional and open space. The form and configuration of land uses will be designed to support regional transit opportunities and initiatives, in accordance with the recommendations of the update to the Palermo Area Land Use Study. Please Note: This proposal may be subject to modifications at the public meeting. Dated at the Town of Oakville this 2nd day of April, 2003. 'cannot be combined with any other offers. Bin Newell, MCIP, RPP Manager, Community Planning Planning Services Department 1 2 2 5 TRAFALGAR ROAD · OAKVILLE, ONTA RIO · L6) 5A 6 (9 0 5 ) 8 4 5 -6 6 0 1 w w w .o a k v ille .c a 2 8 3 LAKESHORE Rd . E. Do w n t o w n Oa k v il l e TEL: (9 05) 8 4 9 -1 8 2 2