The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

A How a father can quickly torpedo a holiday with one `dad dance' That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor 21 | Thursday, October 2, 2014 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com las, dear dads, it seems we owe our precious progeny an enormous apology. I know that most fathers have a hunch -- an inkling or two absorbed over time -- that dads can be, well, an endless source of extensive embarrassment to our children. Honestly, we're not so impervious and insensitive that we don't hear their exasperated, contorted cries of "Oh my god!" and "Daaaaad!" when we do something that morti es the little nose-miners in some manner. But now, according to a new survey of British kids, it has been determined dads are not only capable of ruining the very lives of their offspring with their typical dad-ish behavior, but, worse, they are apparently also capable of torpedoing family vacations by simply doing dad-ish things like "dad dancing." It's true. According to a survey by Skyscanner. com, when on vacation, dads are even more embarrassing than moms (as if that's even possible). Oh, and one dodgy dance, one misplaced softshoe shuf e, one unfortunate twist, one saucy shimmy by the patriarch of these ungrateful wretches, er, kids, and it's all holiday gone to hell. Wondering how else a father can swiftly send a vacation sailing south? By not acting his age. By committing major crimes like not acting cool, engaging in displays of public affection, and by wearing unfashionable clothing -- in particular, donning "embarrassing swimwear." (Does this mean that brand-new, glow-in-the-dark Speedo thong swimsuit is a no go?) And then there's the whole nightmare of dads recounting "embarrassing stories," which undoubtedly amounts to pretty much any story the old man ever sets out to tell. Hey, kids, here's a story for you: Whenever designated to pick up our eldest back in his high school days, upon nding him out front of the school `chillin' with his crew', I'd be sure to honk the horn loudly upon my arrival, then hang out the window and offer up a big, goofy wave to his sullen teen friends. Not solely to see the look of utter embarrassment on his face, but also... OK, really just to see that look on his face. Yeah, apparently that was a bit embarrassing for my boy. But, you see, embarrassing our kids is actually part of our job as fathers. Dads, by de nition, are a bit embarrassing. I remember reading about Sting -- and this was when he was on top of the music industry, touring with The Police, then the hottest rock band on the planet -- and Jonathan, Millwright Machinist graduate about how his eldest son, a edgling punker, thought his old man was the most uncool cat in the whole hemisphere. It's inevitable. Kids think adults are uncool, no matter how cool they may think they are and no matter how big their cool cache is with the other people on the planet. Kids, you may want to consider you're expecting too much from dear old dad. I mean, how can you possibly expect a guy to act cool. And act his age? Impossible. Still, I think dads owe their kids an enormous apology. Granted, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that apology. Because over the course of time that could become... embarrassing. ­ Contact Andy Juniper at ajjuniper@gmail.com. Plan your future. Apply now. Get hands-on * Be employed by fall 2015. training that pays. APPLY NOW FOR 2015 START DATES! February 23, 2015 FebruaryTraining 23, 2015 Electrical Program (22 weeks) Electrical Training March 9, 2015 Program (22 weeks) March 9, 2015 Industrial Millwright/Machinist (22 weeks) Industrial Millwright/Machinist (22 weeks) April 13, 2015 April 13, 2015 Program (26 weeks) Home Renovation Home Renovation Program (26 weeks) Successfulgraduates graduates are *Successful are guaranteed support for finding guaranteed support for finding jobs. jobs, call Halton.ca 311 NOTICE OF CONSTRUCTION Watermain Replacement on Sunnyvale Drive and Sunray Road Town of Oakville K a r a s t a n A r e a Call: 905.333.3499 x 121 905.333.3499 x121 Visit: wannatrade.ca or visit wannatrade.ca R u g s · M i r a g e H a r d w o o d Peerless Carpeting · Buyers Edge Guarantee · 200 Store Buying Power Persian DIAMOND PLATINUM GOLD AREA RUGS FALLING SAVINGS $ 5' x 8' starting at THIS WEEK'S 99 9 Rugs · Peerless SUPER DEAL! 1/2 PRICE Any Carpet Style Carpeting · Berber · Twist $ · Plush · Shag /sq.ft. · Textured Berber Installed with memory foam 2.99 CARPET · 1500 sq.ft. limit 200 HARDWOOD Store CARPET Contract Number: Scheduled Start Date: Scheduled Completion Date: Project Manager: W-2806B-14 September, 2014 December, 2014 Melvin Gonzalez 905-825-6000 x 3285 melvin.gonzalez@halton.ca 021014 LARGEST BUYING POWER CERAMICS Buying CARPET COMMERCIAL FLOORING EXPERTS CARPET 100'S OF AREA RUGS, PERSIAN RUGS, DESIGNER RUGS FOLLOWING LOCATIONS ONLY: Power OPEN SUNDAYS SUPERSTORE Please contact us, as soon as possible, if you have any accessibility needs at Halton Region events or meetings. 125 Cross Ave. TRAFALGAR VILLAGE, Oakville 905.849.4472 M i r a g e H a rd w o o d · Karasta n C a r p e t i ng · 228 KING ST. E. Hamilton 905-546-1921 P e r s i a n Ru g s