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The Oakville Beaver, Friday September 19, 2003 - 29 Doctor talks from experience about raising disabled children By Melanie Cummings SPEC IA L TO THE BEA V ER Commit, complain, advo cate, motivate and appreciate. These are the rigorous demands Dr. Mark Nagler says are required of every par ent with a disabled child. It's a life in which burnout is inevitable, at some point, unless support is sought and obtained. To help parents and care givers of disabled children start an inspiring new school year, the educator and advo cate comes to town tomorrow to speak at ConnectUs Communications Canada, 379A Kerr St., from 10 a.m. noon. According to the author of Yes You Can! A Guide fo r Parents o f Children with Disabilities and What' s Stopping You? Living Successfully with Disability, support comes in many forms: as a routine break in which care is taken over by a babysit ter, or through a case manager who'll sift through the lan guage barriers and red tape faced by an immigrant family, or a service club willing to cover the expense of a wheel chair. "If parents and caregivers don't get help they are putting themselves at risk for bumout and consequently their child is at risk," he said. It's advice the retired uni versity lecturer has practiced himself. The 64-year-old sociology professor was bom with cere bral palsy. When he was a child, his parents, Ann and Leo Nagler, were strong advocates who insisted their son be integrated into regular classes at their local Catholic elementary school in Calgary, Alberta. As a young man they taught him to speak up for himself and become his own advocate. As a father it was not unusual for his two sons to cut up his steak. As a husband, Dr. Nagler's wife Sharon has lovingly managed many of his short falls. "With the help of conscien tious parents, medical person nel and many other caring individuals, people with dis abilities can and do lead rewarding and productive lives," he writes in Yes You Can! Dr. Nagler credits the love and support of his parents, family, friends, colleagues and community with his academic and life's successes. For parents of disabled children there is the burden of extra care, emotional stress and financial challenges. Add the role of advocate, to erase the limited expecta tions society assumes of dis abled children, and activist, to ensure such attitudes are elim inated. The demands are over whelming. Nonetheless, Dr. Nagler says parents of disabled chil dren have to take control and provide ample opportunities in their child's classroom, neigh bourhood or sports team. There is the misconception that disabled children aren't intelligent. Dr. Nagler himself has never written a word, by hand, in his life. "My signa ture has never been the same." His parents demanded his teachers test him orally. They also spoke to their son's teachers and his class mates and prepared a package for their parents to explain their son's condition and his special needs. "Children who are differ ent always feel stress. While young children usually aren't intentionally cruel to them they do lack sophistication and need to understand toler ance." His dad took him to hock ey, baseball and basketball games because the young Dr. Nagler enjoyed them so much. His dad boldly asked the coach to put his son on the team, in some capacity, if even just to sit on the sidelines -- being included was the impor tant part. Incidentally, each coach did. When invited to birthday parties Dr. Nagler's mom would call ahead and ask the hosts to put a straw in his drink, and put the hotdog in his hand. They are small details that when brought to light and acted upon improve life for the disabled child. "It's about knowing how to rock the boat but also to appre ciate the efforts that are put forth on behalf of a disabled child," said Dr. Nagler. For more information, con tact Susan Valeri at 905-3354081 oratsusan@virtualassistantsusan.com, or visit www.MarkNagler.com. The Leavee ^ C o b b le S lO N E in b e r S Aren't The Only Things Turning This Fall } DANCE STUDIOS* Call the dance professionals at Fred Astaire Dauce Studios and vou'll be dancing and twirling, too! Ballroom dandng is fun -- and great exercise. 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