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www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Friday, November 21, 2014 | 10 You don't have to like everyone, just be cool with them continued from p.3 "She was screaming. I couldn't even understand a word she was saying," Smalley said. "I finally said, you've got to stop and tell me what's going on." "He's dead," Laura said. "He shot himself." "I actually asked, `Who?'" Smalley said. "Ty," she told him. · · · · Who has been bullied? "How many of you have been bullied?" Smalley asks the hundreds of students in the White Oaks cafeteria. Almost every hand rises. "Now, I'm going to ask you a harder question," Smalley says. "How many of you are bullies?" Two lone hands rise from the mass of students. "Wow, that's two busy people," Smalley says. Smalley spoke publicly for the first time three weeks after Ty's death. He could not let another family go through what he and his wife did. He vowed on Father's Day, a little more than a month after his son's death that he would do everything he could to eliminate bullying. "There are so many ways we can bully," Smalley says. "A look, one word, an action. Now with technology, we can bully 24 hours a day, seven days a week with email, text messages, posts on a Facebook page." Smalley says he can't do it alone and he does have help. After hearing his story, a group of students at Oklahoma State University formed Stand for the Silent. It has since opened chapters in countries around the world, spreading the message of respecting others and eliminating bullying. But where he needs the most help is from the students he speaks to. Smalley hits them with some chilling statistics. · Suicide is the second leading cause of death between the ages of 10 and 24, second only to car accidents · One in four high school students will have formulated a plan of how to kill themselves before they finish high school "Those are not numbers. They are not percentages. They are people we love," Smalley said. "Think about that the next time you participate in bullying, or the next time you stand by and watch it happen. "It takes a lot of courage in a group of friends, to stand up and say, `That's not right,'" Smalley tells the students. "You've got to be willing to be the difference, to be the one to go up to that new kid, that kid who is different, the kid that doesn't have many friends, that kid that is always getting picked on. You could be somebody's hero. You could literally change someone's life." · · · · Parents have a responsibility Parents also have a responsibility to be an example for their children, Smalley said at Wednesday's breakfast. "Adults need to understand, kids are learning this by watching us. We're not born to hate," he said. "Hatred is something we learn. But it can be unlearned." Smalley said parents also have to talk to their kids. Tuesday night he recounted a story of a woman who asked her sons about bullying after seeing Smalley's presentation. It was a difficult conversation, but she asked if they had ever thought about suicide. One of her sons said he had. Later, he went to his bedroom. Five minutes later he returned and carrying a rope he had hidden under his bed for six months. It was the rope he planned to hang himself with. · · · · Smalley said he doesn't expect everyone to be perfect. People make mistakes. People can also apologize, he says, no matter how difficult that may be. What Kirk Smalley does is not easy. What he asks for is. "Just have respect for others," he says. "Smile at someone in the hallway. Let someone eat lunch with you. "It's not about whether we like each other," he said. "If you don't like me, you don't have to hang out with me. Just go on -- you be you and me being me. Be cool with each other. That's not hard." Buying? Selling? Re-financing? 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