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www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Thursday, January 15, 2015 | 16 I `The Great Wait' at the doctor's office where good magazines are gone more than 10 minutes? And why is my doctor -- and all other doctors, as far as I can discern from complaining friends -- always late? No, dear readers, these are not rhetorical questions. I'd really like to know. Admittedly, I'm not the most patient person in the world. At one point during The Great Wait, the receptionist offered insider's advice. Oftentimes, she said, it's quicker to just come in without an appointment and sign-in for the walk-in clinic. I had to ensure I understood: typically, it's quicker to go through the whole horrid walk-in process than to actually have an appointment for a set time? Yep. recently spent two hours in my doctor's ofce being tortured. Actually, it only seemed like I was being tortured. Really, I was just sitting in the drab waiting room waiting to get a re ll written on a prescription that I'd been told the doctor could not possibly renew -- by, say, telephone or the click of a computer mouse -- without me showing up in person, exposing myself to untold germs, and submitting to this torture. During `The Great Wait' I got to thinking random thoughts. Why is my chiropractor always on time? Oh, and come to think of it, how is it that my dentist has never kept me waiting for That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor SALE WINTER CLEARANCE Hopedale Mall (Rebecca & Third Ln.) Oakville 905-465-3499 All Sales Final 40% - 70% OFF Fall & Winter Fashions Sorry, but I just had to ask: then, why bother having appointments in the rst place? Why tell some sap he'll be seen at 11 a.m. when the rst sighting of an actual doctor will be at 1 p.m.? I mean, that's 120 minutes of someone's life that they'll never get back. Ah, but I made good use of the time. For a while I just thought about all the intriguing things that were probably occurring in the book I'd left at home in a place where I could not possibly forget it -- right beside my wallet that I never leave home without. "You don't have your health card?" the receptionist asked when I arrived at the doctor's of ce, 10 minutes early for my appointment. Nope, I forgot my wallet at home, on the kitchen counter, right beside the book I wanted to bring. So, I took my phone, mindlessly scrolled through Facebook, and got updated on everyone's life. Then I shut off my phone and settled in and read a good magazine... from 1976. A recent study conducted by New Zealand researchers, with way too much time on their hands (perhaps they conducted the study while sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's of ce), concluded the magazine selection in such ofces is pathetic because, well, people steal all the good reads. It's true. Nearly 50 per cent of the magazines in the study went missing within a month. Naturally, it was the cheaper, gossipy magazines that were pilfered, leaving poor patients with the likes of Time magazine and The Economist. Researchers did not offer a possible explanation on why patients steal magazines from waiting rooms. But, as my visit for a prescription renewal hit the two-hour mark, I came up with a theory: payback. That's right, retribution. Sweet revenge. You take 120 minutes from someone's life. They take your cheap, gossipy magazine. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@ gmail.com, found on Facebook or followed on Twitter at www.twitter .com/thesportjesters. R0012976206 Visit Us at www.peggysfashions.ca Come see why we're Oakville's best water provider. Our prices haven't changed in 10 years while maintaining a superior level of quality. Receive 50 FREE litres of U Fill Water and we'll also give you a FREE jug to transport your water! NEW CUSTOMER OFFER: 2251 WESTOAK TRAIL BLVD., UNIT#1 (905) 257.9257 · Email: oakvillewaterdepot@yahoo.ca You get just one funeral. Make it the one you want. You are unique. Your life is unlike any other. By pre-planning your final arrangements now, you can choose the options that reflect how you want to be remembered. What's more, you can save thousands of dollars and protect family from uncertainty about your wishes. Take the first step: Ask us about your FREE Planning Kit! 905-257-1100 Look for us on Facebook glenoaks.ca Glen Oaks Funeral Home & Cemetery by Arbor Memorial Arbor Memorial Inc. Plannin g Kit! Family Owned. Proudly Canadian. FREE 3164 Ninth Line (403 & Dundas St.), Miss./Oakville, ON