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www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Thursday, May 21, 2015 | 12 O Celebrating an anniversary with American Pharaoh and David Sedaris n the occasion of our wedding anniversary, my wife and I were given free relationship advice from renowned humorist David Sedaris, whose candid collections of autobiographical essays have sold more than 10-million copies in 25 languages. To paraphrase, Sedaris said that the No. 1 key to a long-term relationship is to never analyze or talk about that relationship -- especially not with the person to whom you're eternally tethered. It was not lost on me that the insightful author's rst rule of relationships is iden- That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor tical to the rst two rules of Fight Club, a popular movie about... recreational ghting ( rst two rules of Fight Club? You do not talk about Fight Club). Give! Serve! Grow!! 905-491-6860 Ah, but I digress. It was a long weekend in May, the perfect backdrop to celebrate -- perhaps even over-celebrate -- an anniversary, and a lasting relationship that we're not even going to talk about. On Friday night, we went out for a wonderful dinner at Envers, a delightful restaurant in the hamlet of Morriston. Saturday was the big day, though. Along with a few thousand David devotees (yes, to his fans, he's rock-star/one-name David), we had tickets to see Sedaris speak in Toronto. But wait, that's not all. Regular readers of this column (Rufus and Ursula, I thank you for your loyalty, and praise you for your endurance) know that around the Juniper household, we're horse crazy. And Saturday was the 140th running of the Preakness, the second leg in horse racing's elusive Triple Crown. So, we headed into Toronto early, found a bar with a big screen and watched the race. In case you missed it, Kentucky Derby winner American Pharoah did his best impression of Secretariat, winning the Preakness in a rainstorm, and setting himself up for a shot at ending the 37-year Triple Crown drought at the Belmont on June 6. I'm not saying I get all emotional during these races, just that when Pharoah powered around the nal turn and left the competition in his wake, well, it was all I could do to not start bawling like a baby. From the bar, we hopped over to the Sony Centre for two hours with David. If you ever get an opportunity to see Sedaris, jump all over it. He's a treasure. He read from his work. He chatted about his eccentric life (the transplanted American lives in West Sussex where he's renowned for obsessively... picking up litter; locals have even named a garbage truck `Pig Pen Sedaris'). He read ribald entries from his diary. And he elded audience questions, wherein he was asked about the key to relationships. And wherein he noted after being together for a long time, a couple should just quit listening to each other. Because after a decade or so, they've said everything of importance that they're ever going to say, and from then on they're pretty much just on repeat. Perfect anniversary celebration. We cried (thank you, American Pharaoh). We laughed (thanks, David). Then we went home, assured even after all these years together, we still know how to have a ton of fun. So, how many years? Hey, one of our kids off-handedly asked that very question, and in response I handed her a heaping cup of never-you-mind. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook or followed on Twitter at @thesportjesters. SOILYOuRSELf 4th Line QEW Dorval 450 Wyecroft Rd. unit 4 Buy a pair of Prescription Glasses and receive a pair of Sunglass Frames TOP SOIL · AGGREGATES ARMOR STONE · TOOLS INTERLOCK · MULCH · SEED landscapeelements.ca WE ARE OPEN AND WE DELIVER 905-337-7625 at no Charge! * See store for details 92 Dunn Street Downtown oakville lebeauoptical@gmail.com www. lebeauoptical.com 905-845-3621