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www.insideHALTON.com | OAKVILLE BEAVER | Thursday, February 25, 2016 | 18 P Learning anyone can paint with a little guidance and direction eople who know me well will tell you that there are very few things in life that I'm not remarkably good at. Wow -- I just tested that truism on my wife and she managed to forge, in no time at all, a list of 97 things I'm not good at. Whoa -- my kids doubled that list in even less time. All familial wisenheimers aside, people who don't know me all that well will certainly tell you that there are very few things in life that I'm not good at. I am, as the voice in the back of my head repeatedly reassures, a Jack Of All Trades, a regular Renaissance Man.... A while ago my wife was babbling on about a Groupon, asking whether I'd be interested -- honestly, I was only half-listening (No. 92 on my wife's list: you're no good at listening), and since I thought she was talking about some kind of sh she was contemplating cooking, I That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor just nodded and got on with my life. Alas, a few nights later I was told that she'd in fact purchased discounted tickets through Groupon -- apparently a daily-deal website, not a sh (who knew?) -- for a family night of "partying and painting" at a local watering hole. Partying? Painting? "Well," I gulped, "I'm really good at one of those activities." Remember that little voice in my head? HEARING AID SPECIAL *Some Conditions Apply (Clients portion) Up to 3 Year Service Warranty HOME VISITS AVAILABLE $295 Latest Technology Well, it's a voice that is silenced whenever something arises at which I've previously failed, miserably. Something like boxing: ignominiously knocked senseless by a close friend in the opening seconds of the opening round during a gym class. Or, cross-country skiing for charity: laughed at and lapped by a group of trash-talking gals from a local senior's home. Or singing: yeah, despite being the lead singer of assorted bodacious bands in my youth, my voice reminds some of critters caterwauling. Oh, and painting. The very sight of a paint pallet sends me hurtling back to grade school where a politically-incorrect teacher took one look at the mess that was my rst painting and told me that from then on, I'd be her "special assistant." You know, the kid who handed out supplies, cleaned up the spills, and was kept a safe distance away from any actual painting. As a professional artist from Paint Nite introduced herself and said that with a little guidance anyone can paint a pretty picture, I introduced myself to the bartender and said that I could not paint a pretty picture if the tab I was about to run depended on it. Turns out, I was wrong. With the instructor's direction and the barkeeper's forti cation, I took paintbrush to water and paint to page and created art. Indeed, magic. I don't want to get too deep for the nonpainters in the audience, but that brush became the conduit to my inner artist, and my tortured soul. While most patrons' paintings were sunny and cheery, mine was dark and brooding. I'd somehow managed to mix black in with all my colors and was too embarrassed to ask for new paints. The instructor was duly impressed. "Well," she said, searching for the right words to describe this minor masterpiece, "that's certainly... different." Different, indeed. The work of a modern-day Rembrandt. You know, there are very few things in life that I'm not good at. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www. facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www. twitter.com/thesportjesters. Follow Oakville Beaver staff on Twitter: @OakvilleBeaver, @NewsHooked, @DavidLea6, @JuliaLeReporter, @HerbGarbutt, @PostBeaverSport and @Halton_Photog 60 DAY GUARANTEE: FREE Hearing test · Age 55+ www.hearingclinicgroup.com Hopedale Hearing Clinic 905-827-7333 Compression soCks... In Hopedale Mall, next to the CIBC 1515 Rebecca Street, Unit 38, Oakville thank you! Your legs will Family Lawyers. Expert Guidance. NEW OAKVILLE OFFICE! 11-1155 North Service Road 289-291-4019 SucceSSful ReSolution. NORTH YORK OFFICE The Madison Center 4950 Yonge Street, Suite 302 416-971-4802 Oakville Burlington 380 Dundas St. E. 3350 Fairview St. T: 905.257.4335 T: 905.637.4335 MACDONALD & PARTNERS LLP 155 University Ave., Suite 1700 Toronto 416-971-4802 www.mpllp.com