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6- The 6akville Beaver' Weekend, Saturday February 11, 2006 Com m entaiy The Oakville Beaver 467 Speers Rd., Oakville O nt. L6K 3S4 (905 ) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5567 Classified Advertising: 845-3824, ext. 224 Circulation: 845-9742 T h eO a k v illeB e a v e risam em b ero fth eO n ta rioP ressC o u n c il.T h ec o u n c il islo c a te dat8 0G o u ldS t.,S u ite2 0 6 ,T o ro n to ,O n t., M 5 B2 M 7 .P h o n e(4 1 6 )3 4 0 -1 9 8 1 .A d v e rtisin gisaccep tedo nth e c o n d itio nth at,inth eev en to taty p o g rap h icale rro r,th atp o rtio no fad v ertisin gsp aceo ccu p iedb yth eerro n eo u site m ,to g eth erw ithareaso n ab lea llo w a n c efo rsig n atu re,w illn o tb ech arg edfo r, b u tth eb alan ceo fth ead v ertisem en tw illb ep a idfo ratth ea p p lic a b lera te .T h ep u b lish erreserv esth erig h ttocateg o rizead v ertisem en tso rd e c lin e .E d ito ria lan dad v ertisin gco n ten to fth eO a k v ille B eav erisp ro tectedb yco p y rig h tU n au th o rizedu seisp ro h ib ite d . IAN OLIVER Publisher NEIL OLIVER Associate Publisher JILL DAVIS Editor in C hief KELLY M O N T A G U E Advertising Director CH ARLENE HALL Director o f Distribution TERI CASAS Business Manager M A N U E L GARCIA Production Manager RIZIERO VERTOLLI Photography Director ROD JERRED Guest Columnis Four things to expect from Garth Turner Garth Turner Halton MP Managing Editor Metroland Printing, Publishing & Distributing Ltd., indudes: /^ax/Pickering News Advertiser, Alliston Herald/Courier, Shopping News, Mississauga Business Times, Mississauga News, Napanee Guide,. Newmarket/Aurora Era-Banner, Arthur Enterprise News, Barrie Advance, Caledon Enterprise, Brampton Guardian, Buriington Post, Buriington Shopping . Northumberland News, North York Minor, Oakville Beaver, Oakville Shopping News, Oldtimers Hockey News. Orillia News, City Parent, Collingwood/Wasaga Connection, East York Minor, Erin Advocate/Country Routes, Etobicoke Today, Oshawa/Whitby/Clarington Port Peny This Week, Owen Sound Tribune, Palmerston Observer, Peterborough This Guardian, Flamborough Review, Georgetown Independent/Adon Free Press, Harriston Review, Huronia Business Times, Week, Picton County Guide, Richmond Hill/Thomhill/Vaughari Liberal, Scarborough Minor, StouffvllleAJxbridge Tribune, Lindsay This Week, Markham Economist & Sun, Midland/Penetanguishine Mirror, Milton Canadian Champion, Milton Forever Young, City of York Guardian RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: A Ontario Community Newspapers Association . Canadian Community Newspapers Association 5 1 ^ ^ Suburban Newspapers H e S j L J I of America THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FOR: 1 Awards TM CM^ycMr /ModkviXLC' SnlWcUesfrord: fettlArdb A rovMorSc KIR U B U S IN E S Sa im APTS H Jm n H e.ld.ant T h e O a k v i l l e , M il tO r i "8*a s # |oakville galleries") ^ Y M C A m mi G R E T T K f? So, I'm an MP now. Thank you. Maybe you voted for me, maybe not. In either case, you're stuck with me now until the next election, and I'd like to tell you what you can expect. First, expect me to bug you fairly often. There will be Town Hall meetings across Halton - in Oakville, Burlington, Milton, Kilbride, Lowville, Campbellville and Brookville - and I expect you to show up and speak your mind. There will be surveys and question naires in your mailbox, which I want you to fill out and send back to me -- giving me your opinion on everything from what to do about guns and taxes to same-sex marriage. There'll be online voting on my MP's Web site - the first of its kind in Canada - which will let you cast your ballot along with me in the House of Commons, and also decide on important issues before they come to a vote in Ottawa. And you'll have to put up with me knocking on your door, because I will be doing that every weekend I am home, since I can't think of anything more important to do. Second, you can expect me to be a non-partisan guy. Yeah, sure, I'm a Conservative and most days proud of it. But that doesn't mean my job is selling you on what a great prime minister Stephen Harper is, or why the Tory government is just perfect. You and I both know it won't be, so why pretend? No government is. All we can expect is that everyone tries their best, while being honest and ethical every minute they're there. So, do not expect brochures in the mail from me with Conservative logos on them. Will not happen. My job is to represent you to Ottawa, and not the other way around which is why the Town Halls, the online voting, the questionnaires and the door-knock ing are so important. That's how, along with your letters, e-mails (garth@garth.ca) and phone calls, I can understand what it is you want said to Ottawa. Third, expect your MP to be on a mission for the middle class. I did not campaign for this job to get a salary and a long-distance calling card (although I appreciate both), but rather because it is way past the time that average middle-class people had their say in government, and got a break. The folks who live here are suburban, home-owning fam ilies who put up with commuting, ever-higher bills, rising property taxes, rising mort gage payments, user fees, ridiculous gas prices and the daily challenges of child care and just getting by. We don't save enough because we are taxed too much. Seems people in the middle class pay most of the freight in this country and hardly ever catch a break. And that bugs me. It's time things changed. So expect your MP to be using a chunk of his time in Ottawa to be going after income-splitting for single-income families, and for seniors, a serious tax break, help with retirement savings, RRSPs for stay-at-home spouses, help with mortgage payments and a Family Tax Return. I'll be trying to per suade other MPs to support me on these things, as well as working within the Conservative government. It won't be quick, or a slam-dunk, but I promise to keep at it the whole time, and hope to be successful. Lastly, expect some help when you need it. Seriously. Some very good people have signed on to run the MP Help Centre, and soon I'll also have a whole series of self-help online tools, so you can solve your own passport, immigration and other government problems, 24-7, at your convenience. The federal government gives every MP more than $200,000 a year to run an office in Ottawa and one in the riding, and I am putting most of that money into the salaries of people who can assist you - during the day, during the evening and on Saturdays. It's what you should expect. So, thank you again. I hope to earn your respect. Garth Turner lives in Campbellville. His web site is www.garth.ca. D o n 't d i a l 9 1 1 j u s t b e c a u s e y o u I spent most of the week trying hard to convince myself that I'm not losing it. Tt' being my marbles, my mind. I worry a lot about losing it. I come by my fears honestly. I was a witness to my father slowly, sadly losing it via vascular demen tia. At the time, a kindly neurologist informed me that such insidious dementia often runs in families, handed down genera tion to generation, typically male to male. He suggested I take two baby Aspirin every day and, keep my fingers crossed. Further, I'm a certified hypochondriac and, I naturally and regularly use the neurologist's handy hereditary information to torture myself whenever I suffer a brain cramp or memory block: when I can't remember someone' s name, or a song title, or what I did with my glasses, or whenever I find myself in a room whol ly uncertain of why I'm there (this is a trait I share with one of our dogs: granted, she' s 84, and pretty much bonkers). My worries escalated last weekend when, on an expedition out to the garage to grab some firewood, I noticed that the truck' s parking lights were on. I hopped into the cab, tinkered and tried everything imaginable to turn them off, but to no avail. Now, I know that the normal mind would at that juncture come around to the conclusion that something was wrong with a re lo s in g y o u r m a r b le s the vehicle. Conversely, I became convinced that there was some thing wrong with me. What had I done - what lever had I jim mied, what button had I inadvertently pulled - to make the stu pid lights remain on? It made for one very long weekend, reading and rereading the truck manual, frantically phoning manufacturer "hot lines" and "help lines," which turned out to be not quite as hot or helpful as they were all shut down until Monday. Naturally, I had to run out every hour or two to start up what I was by then call ing "the damn truck" so the left-on lights wouldn't suck the strength out of the bat tery and leave m e stranded. So, I drove here and there, running errands, and with each stop some kind soul would go out of his way to inform me: "Hey, Mac, you left your lights on!" Arghhh! On Monday I took the truck in, had it tested by the dealer with all the latest diagnostic equipment, and was told it was a "mod ule" problem. So, I said to the mechanic, all teary-eyed: you're saying the problem is with a module and not with me? They loaned me a compact car to get me through until a new module could be ordered, delivered and installed - three days, or so they said, although I still haven't heard from them! I drove home to celebrate staving off premature senility another day. The celebration probably ended about the time I called 911.1 was multi-tasking, you see. I was at once writing a novel, drink ing coffee, contemplating clipping my toenails, and wondering what would happen if I stapled my arm to my forehead, when I remembered that I needed to rearrange a doctor's appointment. Only, I couldn't remember the doctor's number, so I reached back and grabbed the phone. While I admit my thoughts at the time were quite scattered, they became remarkably focused when I heard a woman say: "911." , Like an idiot, I hung up. And, of course, she called me right back: "Sir, you just dialed 911?" Er, ah, sorry. I thought I was dial ing 411, you know, information. I'll bet this happens a lot. "Actually, sir, no." Click. I spent most of the week trying hard to convince myself that I'm not losing it. Unsuccessfully, of course. Andy Juniper can be visited a t his Web site, w w w stra n gledeggs.com, o r contacted a t ajuniper@ strangledeggs.com.