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Wedncsdsay December 8, 1999 THE OAKVILLE BEAVER A3 Message of M ontreal m assacre Memorial service reflects on savage act By Claudia I?Souza SPECIAL TO THE BEAVER The I Oth anniversary o f the M ontreal M assacre is etched in history as a time for reflection on the decade past - what has changed, what hasn't and what we, as a society, still need to do to eradicate violence against women. Those who attended Appleby C ollege's memorial service held Monday night at St. Jude's Anglican Church were also made painfully aware o f what could have been through a chilling drama production by senior school students. Student narrator, C aroline Choi as M arc Lcpine, traced his m ovements throughout L'EcoIe Polytcchniquc during his mission o f hate. Room by room and victim by victim, he spat venom. "On the second floor I saw one," he said referring to the first young engineering student who became a helpless target. As 'h e' slaughtered each victim, a female Appleby student walked to the front of the church, said her name, her age at the tim e o f her murder and what she was studying. All 14 then linked hands and walked away. A poem was read, a candle o f hope lit in their memory and in memory o f all victims and then 14 souls dressed in white cassocks silently walked down the centre o f the church in pairs each carrying a lit candle. One by one they said their names, what they had studied and what their age would have been today before blowing out their candle. "Today I would have been...." Their age varied from early to late 30s, perhaps with fam ilies o f their own and likely reaping the career rewards their years o f education had afforded them, if only a misogynist madman hadn't crossed their path that bitter cold D ecem ber day. "How do we find hope on the anniversary of one o f the most gruesome, senseless moments in recent history?" asked guest speaker. Dr. M ichael Kaufman, author and co-founder o f the White Ribbon Campaign, the largest effort in the world o f men working to end m en's violence against women. "There arc many reasons to find hope. First o f all, we are all here for 14 women and all vic tims of violence in the past 10 years." The former York University professor rem inded the gathering 10 years ago there were fewer groups speaking out, fewer Canadians educating them selves, and fewer shelters where women could seek refuge from dom estic violence. Over a decade, he said, we have seen growth, strength, more funding and new laws that protect victims of violence. "It was that moment at L'EcoIe Polytechniquc that unleashed a wave o f change. The voices welled up in unison and it became clear this was not the raging of an isolated madman, but an indication o f a larger, much more insidious and hidden prob lem. Not only have women been speaking out, but men and boys have added their voices." Eight years ago, the W hite Ribbon Cam paign began encouraging men to take a personal pledge never to condone violence against women and to not remain silent, Kaufman noted. Today, this movement and message o f hope has spread across the world. "We have learned, although violence is a human pos sibility, it's not an inevitability. M ost men d o n 't com m it acts of violence. We've learned societies typified by vio lence are patriarchal or m ale-dom inated. In societies where there is equality between the sexes, there is little or no violence." The link is im portant, said Kaufman, because violence isn't about being male. It has to do with wielding power, having a sense o f entitlem ent to privilege and society's silent acceptance o f violent and abusive behavior. "M en's dirty little secret is their inner dialogue that they aren't tough enough, brave enough or capable enough. This sense o f inadequacy creates rage and vio lence. If our reality is a social creation we can do it dif ferently." Kaufman encouraged parents to raise their children equally with the same set of expectations and responsi bilities. Boys should be raised with a sense o f caring and nurturing and to be in touch with (heir feelings, while girls should be allowed have a sense o f strength and power. Politically, we can elect representative who take support services seriously, and we can support these resources ourselves, he said. "Men can listen to the voices of wom en, that no means no and take sexual harassm ent seriously. They can walk away from a fight, speak out against sexist jokes and put downs and stand up against anyone who spews hate. You and I arc here working together to create a better tom or row. All of this is about finding hope." Call 1-800-328-2228 for more inform ation about the White Ribbon Campaign or visit www .w hiteribbon.ca Photo by Peter C. McCusker LONG JOURNEY: St. Nicholas makes his way up from Oakville H arbour to a throng of about 80 well-wishers. He had ju st arrived from Spain to join the Landry household for some food, drink and a rest and to engage the children with talks of his adventures. ``Order those tickets, get a gift that's check your stocKs, or learn to cook a turkey." 08 J N e t*c « P *: N etw ork «racc&!:CO j H o m e FVSHIHG FOR A SOLUTIOH 1 omgohs^ ^ AsuRRtAL*noMiowwn «?*!^5S*c^vorCN N -------SUBS Of `t t ^V g"3£3L v J l v w orld vatw dA P'0' oimio Wt fc' Do it all @Home this Holiday. D o n 't g e t fr a z z le d th is fe s tiv e s e a s o n , g e t C O G E C O @ H o m e in s te a d . T h e e a s y - to - u s e c u s to m b r o w s e r le ts y o u g e t t o e v e r y th in g y o u n e e d , a ll fr o m o n e s c re e n . C lic k o n " S h o p p in g " a n d o r d e r th o s e h o lid a y c o n c e r t tic k e ts o r f in d th e p e r fe c t g ift . 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