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A4 THE OAKVILLE BEAVER Wednesday November 24,1999 S h e ry l is p le a s e d to a n n o u n c e h e r m o v e to U p to w n H a ir S tu d io located in N orth O ak ville. " L o o k in g f o rw a rd to s e e in g y o u th e r e " T H E H U M A N FA CE O F T H E H O M E L E S S By Sandra Omand SPECIAL TO THE BEAVER ue never imagined that at age 35 she would find herself homeless. The attractive and vibrant brunette also never imagined being held hostage for several hours by a boyfriend brandishing a rifle and threaten ing to kill her and himself. But it happened. The first signs of trouble came when Sue (not her real name) attempted to end a six-month relationship that had become emotionally abu sive and her boyfriend resisted, becoming depressed and suicidal. Alarmed by his mental state, Sue said she encouraged him to see a counsellor, even accompanying him to the first few visits in an attempt to extract herself as gendy as possible from the relationship. The counselling, however, failed and a rela tionship characterized by bouts of irrational jeal ousy and attempts to control her suddenly, and without warning, turned violent. "I had no idea he had a gun, he just came into a room with it and it totally freaked me out" Terrified she eventually managed to escape and phoned the OPP. The police suirounded the building and evac uated a nearby school and after a brief stand-off finally arrested him. The man they put in handcuffs and loaded into the back of a police cruiser was someone Sue described as funny and charming when she first met him. A widower who had been married twenty-six years, an owner of an established business and father of two grown children, she never thought the relationship would end as it did. Unfortunately her ordeal was still not over. Released on bail her ex-boyfriend launched a campaign of terror, threatening her with harm unless she helped him obtain a plea bargain and avoid the four year sentence sought by the Crown Attorney. "He started tracking me down, threatening One woman's story on how she came to be alone & homeless me and my children saying he knew where their father lived," said Sue (although she shared cus tody of her teenaged sons they lived primarily with their father). Fearing for her safety and that of her children she gave up her apartment and started living with a series of friends. But her ex-boyfriend kept finding her, so she decided to leave the area and move closer to her boys. OW Tb & A e s th e tic ia n 2530 6th Line, ~ w zw ~ DUNDA 5 ST UJ Oakville 5 | G LEN A SHTON DR 905-257-8998 RIVER G LEN BLVD U PPER M ID D L E RD " If this community hadn't been here for me and hadn't come around and surrounded me with the services they had to offer I truly don Ybelieve I would have had the will to continue living. " -Sue Meanwhile prior to the rifle incident she had been battling a repetitive strain injury called dynamic thoracic outlet syndrome that caused her arms and hands to become excruciatingly painful and swollen making it increasingly diffi cult to perform her duties as a cleric. The pre-existing physical conditioned cou pled with the stress she was experiencing made working impossible (her ex-boyfriend also did consulting work for her employer) so she quit her job. "I had no income, was homeless and jobless and had to fight to get my benefits through my employer," said Sue. "It is probably the most helpless and degrading feeling." Sue, middle class and college educated, said she had to go knocking on doors like social ser vices and go to food banks - places she said she never imagined herself having to go. "If the services hadn't been in place, as hard as it was for me to go knocking on those doors fo r t h e A p p le b y M a ll LOOK G ift Appleby Mall Ideas and go to those places, I wouldn't be sitting here now with you. I don't know where I'd be," said Sue, the memory of that painful period in her life still reducing her to tears four years later. "Sometimes we are victims of circum stances," said Sue. "All it can take is your health going wrong or one bad choice but in my case both went wrong." Jocelyn Ritson, Community and Family Services Director for the Salvation Army, said they see many different scenarios that lead to homelessness. Some are abused women like Sue, others are spouses who have split, or kids kicked out of their homes, while still others are evicted and have nowhere to go but their cars. Ritson said at the moment, for example, the Salvation Army is trying to help a woman and her elderly mother, who are currently living out of van, find a place to live before the snow and really cold weather arrives. Mayor Ann Mulvale said stories like Sue's are all too common and are why the Town is pushing to establish short-term emergency hous ing in Oakville. "We want a facility with professionals to help them. In their eyes they have arrived at a place they would never have thought they'd be. By their measurement they have somehow failed and we can reassure them that they have not and that they can once again resume their life," said Mulvale. The mayor said the shelter is also practical because it puts an immediate roof over peoples heads while allowing social services to work with them to reposition them so they can reclaim their lives. Sue is an example of how well this can work. While still unable to work full-time she has found an apartment she can afford on her dis ability pension, volunteers extensively within the community and is now married to a wonder ful man. "If this community hadn't been here for me and hadn't come around and surrounded me with the services they had to offer I truly don't believe I would have had the will to continue liv ing. But because they did I am now able to give back to this community ten fold," said Sue. "I House site Grace M axim um sta y for residen ts w ou ld be 3 0 days * (Continued from page 1) Grace House as an emergency homeless shelter over the winter through until March 31, 2000. The Town is then hoping to amend its restrictive by-laws to allow develop ment of a permanent short-term refuge. (Such dwellings are currently not per mitted in either residential or commer cial areas.) Breed Straight Egyptian Arabians for Tax Advantage - Profit - Enjoyment Learn how by attending an upcoming Farm Conference Dec. 4 FREE & No Obligation. C all T oday or E -M ail for Y our R eservation. A PPLEB Y M ALL ( A p p le b y L in e & N e w S t.) 6 3 9 -1 0 2 4 ^ rA b is n s Jerseyville (Ancaster) Ont. 905-304-1798 - E-Mail kesanna@icom.ca ^ Santa arrives Saturday, Nov. 27t h at Hopedale Mall See our Flyer in Today's Oakville Beaver FREE! Internet ZJRo Hopedale Mall www.hopedalemall.on.ca *3^ Shop: Mon.-Fri. 9:30am to 9:00pm · Sat 9:30am to 6:00pm · Sun. Noon to 5:00pm & According to the Town's plan, up to 10 people would be housed for a maxi mum stay of 30 days. Tenants - from Oakville only would include abused women, working poor and adolescents who are estranged from their families or escaping abusive situations. Town Planning staff recommended approval of the temporary amendment to the zoning by-law based on the fact Grace House is close to public transit (Oakville Transit and GO) and is sepa rated from adjacent neighbours by treed open space and Trafalgar Road. "This is probably an excellent idea and a good way to start our search for similar accommodation in town," said Ward 3 councillor Tedd Smith, who looks forward to finding a permanent facility. Ward 5 councillor Liz Behrens agreed, but added that the hard work will really begin when they try to create an acceptable zoning by-law for a per manent site. "That's when the real crunch will come," she said. Mayor Ann Mulvale thanked the community for recognizing the need but said she looks forward to a time when such facilities will not be neces sary. "I think it's reprehensible that a town like Oakville has homeless," said Mulvale, who promised to keep ham mering away at higher levels of gov ernment to find enduring answers. 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