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Illness puts stress on relationship WWW/ y hen a man suffers a ~ heart attack or cancer, or any other brush with mortality, it will have a dramatic and profound effect both on him and his spouse. The relationship often changes. For some, it brings them closer together, while for Pannapaman 0 band said that “you don’t sit down and spend your evening talking about a disease . . . we don’t avoid it, we just don’t do it.” Both spouses were of course sad about the disease, but they were not clinically depressed or anxious. veer ‘7 new Kappa smart HLHON - I. others it tears them apart. Instead, concordance is more On the other hand, couples Researchers Veronica Fiske of important than candor, according with every different styles of the University of Michigan and to Liddle. What seems to be communication are at much Howard Liddle of Temple important is not how much you greater risk for having conflict, University have been studying share, but how much your desire distress and unmet needs. It’s not how illness influences couples. to share is similar. The more cou- the lack of communication that to One interesting finding is that ples share the same desire to talk divides them, it’s the different openly discussing the disease is - whether it be to talk a lot about desires or needs for communica- Glen Abbey for september ’94 not always best, despite popular it, or not at all - the better they tion. . . wisdom to the contrary. will cope with it and maintain The husband of a 63-year-old 4th Llne Upper Mlddle Rd' For example, it was thought their psychological well-being. lung cancer said he “doesn’t deal REGISTRATION FOR SEPTEMBER that a group of cancer patients and their families would be better adjusted if they talked openly about their illness, rather than avoiding the subject or suffering silently and alone. After all, talkâ€" ing about it would at least break the tension in the air; you would ' know what the other person is thinking and feeling rather than always trying to read their minds and moods; and you would become closer together by shar- ing your feelings and sharing the pain. COCO m _ 7‘“ mm WATERCOLOUR CLASSES NOW OFFERED We also carry posters, prints and original paintings 310 KERR ST. 849-1590 OAKVILLE Sat, March 12 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. St. Paul's United Church, 424 Rebecca St., Oakville Quality Crafts! Waving, Spinning Quilting Demon- strations! Quilt Coverlet Contest! _ . . .1 . 7.. w.» . One study described a couple well with illness. It’s good that who didn’t care to talk about the she’s calm, because I couldn’t 55-year-old husband’s lung can- deal with it any other way. I don’t cer. The wife didn’t want to talk want to talk about it at all.” about it “because we communi- cate without talking”. The hus- Wednesday, March 9 7:30-9:00 p.m. 1258 Rebecca Street (parking behind St. Hilda’s Church) For more information, contact Ann Schnurr at 842-5198 (599 'HGPPY' page 9) THE ONLY EXCLUSIVE SIMMOES MATTRESS STORE IN CANADA MATTRESS SAL s5 50% + Bonus Gift with eliery Simmons set purchased BEST SIMMONS SIMMONS SIMM‘ SELL“? SIMM' Apollo Posture Perfect Genesis Special Edition 512 Cells - - . . _ Hm Support Medlum Flrm luxury Flrm Extra Firm w/tushlon Top set set set set S259 ' ‘369 ' S599 5599 set set set set 3299 S£169 s099 ‘699 set set set set 5599 ‘499 s549 s799 MISS/SSA UGA/UAKVILLE 2520 BRISTOL CIRCLE _ FRIDAY . BETWEEN WINSTON CHURCHILL 100 5 #403 OFF DUNDAS SATURDAY g BEHIND AIKENHEAD S SUNDAY = ‘ _ ] .|_5 ....... . _