Oakville Beaver, 18 Apr 2019, p. 20

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in si de ha lto n. co m O ak vi lle B ea ve r | T hu rs da y, A pr il 18 ,2 01 9 | 20 Metroland Media's Halton division photojournalist Nikki Wesley is thinking outside of the box with a new profile series that aims to shine a different light on those who call Halton home. Interview subjects are asked to pose for photos with an item that is impor- tant to them. Chelsea McDermott, 28, is a newly minted paralegal by day and a bartender by night. She has volunteered at The Lighthouse for Grieving Children for the past five years. McDermott is the creator of Tips Are for Kids, a weekend event where all the tips she makes are donated to The Light- house, raising both funds - more than $23,000 in the past two years - and aware- ness while creating a great- er sense of community. Describe your- self in one word. Dreamer Q: In one word, how would your parent/ boss/significant other describe you? A: I asked, and they said in- telligent, professional and sweet. Q: What is your idea of happiness? A: Being in love Q: Who is your favourite fictional character? Why? A: Dwight Schrute - he's a legend Q: What is something you wish everyone knew about you? A: I love a good negotiation. Q: What is your favourite smell? A: Eucalyptus Q: If you could give the world one piece of ad- vice, what would it be? A: Be curious, ask ques- tions, do your research, keep learning. Don't accept everything on its face. Q: How did you get in- volved with The Light- house for Grieving Chil- dren? A: At the age of 21, I said goodbye to my darling younger brother. I knew that life would be different because I would never see him again, but I never real- ly considered how little he would be spoken about. A lot of pain exists in silence. The inability to speak free- ly about a loved one who has died has been de- scribed by some as, as if they die for a second time. I learnt about The Light- house for Grieving Chil- dren from a childhood friend's mother. I shared with her some of my thoughts on how popular I felt the avoidance of "death talk" to be, and she offered me some optimism by in- troducing me to The Light- house. I thought it was amazing. We live in a time where perseverance and resilience are viewed as strength, and anything other than that is viewed as weakness. The truth is that some things in life are pain- ful, and it is OK to stop and acknowledge that pain. Ev- eryone deserves support - and children, especially. Q: Why is it important to grieve? A: We use the word "grieve" to describe the deep sorrow and pain we feel in the af- termath of when we have said goodbye to someone we love. But grieving is dif- ferent than mourning. We kind of use the word in a manner that gives the im- pression that one day we will stop grieving. When you love someone and they die, that love doesn't go away. In fact, it may be hard to imagine, but that love will actually grow with you as you grow. One day when I have children, I will tell them about their uncle and perhaps they may long for someone they have never even met. Grieving is sim- ply the name we have cho- sen to use to explain that we miss someone that has died. Q: What inspired you to start the Tips Are for Kids event? And what keeps you putting on the event? A: I came up with the idea for Tips Are for Kids in 2017for Tips Are for Kids in 2017f when The Lighthouse's an- nual fundraising run fell on June 3, my brother's birth-June 3, my brother's birth-J day. I felt inspired by this serendipitous coincidence and wanted to do something a little extra to honour my brother. I never anticipated the response from the com- munity. It was amazing to witness everyone's generos- ity. In 2017, I was able to raise $7,600, and in 2018 we raised $15,200. I keep putting the event on because people love it, it's a good time, and it's for a good cause. Q: Why do you volun- teer? A: I get asked this question a lot, and I don't really have an answer, other than that I want to. It just feels right. Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? A: I am currently dipping my toes in the entrepre- neurial waters. I am work- ing on starting my own pa- ralegal practice. I want people to feel more com- fortable with their encoun- ters with the legal system and to know that afford- able legal representatives do exist. So, I guess, in 10 years I hope that my busi- ness venture is successful. Q: What does selfless- ness mean to you? A: Selflessness is a con- scious choice, just as self- ishness is a conscious choice. There are times in life where we must be self- ish and do what we have to do to take care of ourselves, but this is not necessary all the time. Being selfless is about putting others' needs before your own. When we consider that we are part of a collective force, which is humanity, we need to step up and take care of that, as well. We should all try to vi- sualize the bigger picture sometimes, which is what is better for a greater amount of people or what will be better for a greater amount of time. It's impor- tant to be able to distin- guish between the times it is appropriate to be selfish and selfless. Q: Why are books impor- tant to you? A: Books are the best teach- ers. They are nourishment for the mind. Anything you will ever want to know you can find in a book. This year's Tips Are for Kids Event at The King's Arms (second floor) will take place on June 7, 8 and 9. For more information, email mcdermott.chel- sea@gmail.com. If you know someone who should be considered for this profile series, email Nikki Wesley at nwes- ley@metroland.com. COMMUNITY Chelsea McDermott is the founder of Tips are For Kids for the Lighthouse for Grieving Children. Nikki Wesley / Metroland THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX: CHELSEA MCDERMOTT

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