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in si de ha lto n. co m O ak vi lle B ea ve r | T hu rs da y, A pr il 18 ,2 01 9 | 34 ON NOW AT THE BRICK! SAVING YOU MORE For more details go instore or online @thebrick.com.www.concretetrimmings.com CONCRETE FREE ESTIMATES 905-844-5518 1-888-944-5518 uality At Its Best! Call Fernando www 1-888-944-5518 • DRIVEWAYS • FRENCH CURBS • PATIOS • STEPS • WALKWAYS • GARAGE FLOORS ExposEd aggrEgatE (pebble) Stephanie Etherington knew she couldn't be the only widow in Halton feel- ing lonely. Following her hus- band's death, and inspired by a twice-widowed friend, she searched for social groups and attended a be- reavement class, but couldn't find a comfort- able fit. "My husband and I had wonderful couple friends who still included me in social activities. However, it was never the same without my husband." And so, four years ago, she launched Widowed Friends of Halton; it's nei- ther a dating or grief sup- port group, but a "safe, so- cial atmosphere for those who have lost a spouse or partner and want to move forward and connect with others who have had the same experience." Her debut event was a small Sunday afternoon cocktail party at an Oak- ville restaurant. "Weekends are a lonely time for widows and wid- owers" and the reason be- hind social activity offer- ings on Sundays and espe- cially long weekends. Widowed Friends is a community built on the understanding that mem- bers are "trying to build chapter two of our lives." If they are lucky, mem- bers come to the realiza- tion that no matter how much they might want it, they can't have their old life back, but they can learn to build a new one, filled with love and memo- ries of the past, said exec- utive member Dorothy To- wey. "People who join our group share their stories if they choose and meet oth- ers who, like themselves, have experienced loss and are trying to move on," said Towey. "We've been told countless times that being part of the group has 'saved lives.' Sitting at home isolated for years sometimes, people feel desperate and sad. We of- fer an alternative that rec- ognizes the grief everyone feels, but focuses on resil- ience, hope and strength to move forward." Since May 2015, the group has offered more than 800 activities for wid- ows and widowers who come from throughout the Greater Toronto and Ham- ilton Area, from as far away as Brantford, Thorn- hill and St. Catharines. What began as a hand- ful of people has evolved into a club of 225 with four to six new members join- ing every month. "We think our rapid growth demonstrates how needed our community is," said Etherington. "The social group they might have had often doesn't work after loss, and friends and acquain- tances may stop asking them to join them if they feel it might cause more pain," said Towey. "As a re- sult, widows and widow- ers find themselves alone and lonely, which can easi- ly spiral into depression." In addition to word of mouth, the women attri- bute the growth of Wid- owed Friends to sharing their message with doc- tors, grief counsellors and hospitals. They also credit their website, which draws in thousands of visi- tors from across the world each month, said Ethe- rington. Widowed Friends mem- bers are generally be- tween 50 and 80 years of age, the majority of whom are women, but the num- ber of men is gradually in- creasing. "We have had members come to us who are in their 30s with small children and they are always wel- come," said Towey. "Youn- ger members have a differ- ent set of priorities and needs in comparison to the boomer crowd and we un- derstand they may be looking for a different de- mographic that shares their life stage." Future plans include establishing a group for young widows and widow- ers and developing pro- grams and activities for their needs, said Towey. Currently, Widowed Friends offers several events each week includ- ing dinners out, at-home potlucks, movie nights, golf, bowling, a car rally and high tea; they have even "experimented" with two winter trips to Barba- dos. To accommodate mem- bers from Milton, George- town and other "northern" communities, a monthly meeting is now being held at a local restaurant in Milton, with plans to ex- pand that concept into oth- er areas of Halton, Hamil- ton and Mississauga. "When we started the group we had no idea how great the need was in the widowed community for a special place devoted ex- clusively to widows and widowers to meet and so- cialize," said Etherington. "We believe our concept is unique. There are many grief-related groups, which are very helpful to those experiencing loss, but we are the only group that we know of that focus- es on rebuilding and re- connecting as the next stage of recovery after loss," said Etherington. To celebrate its fourth anniversary, Widowed Friends has planned a spe- cial dinner at Burlington's Millcroft Golf Club May 26. For more information, visit widowedfriendsof- halton@gmail.com. WIDOWED FRIENDS OF HALTON: A SAFE, SOCIAL ATMOSPHERE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A SPOUSE Stephanie Etherington, left, founder of Widowed Friends of Halton and Dorothy Towey, who helped Etherington build the club. Widowed Friends/Photo KATHY YANCHUS kyanchus@metroland.com COMMUNITY