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31 | The IFP -H alton H ills | T hursday,July 11,2019 theifp.ca POWERFUL CONVERSATIONS FOR PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION Ph.D. 905-873-9393 www.forgecoachingandconsulting.com 38 Oak Street, Georgetown, ON • INDIVIDUAL & COUPLE COUNsELLINg • ANXIETY/ DEPREssION • LIFE & CAREER ChANgEs • PERsONAL gROwTh COUNSELLING & COACHING SERVICES Ph.D. RP When people spend time together the way they communicate becomes a predictable pattern or what is often referred to as "the dance." One closes in as the other backs away. While some feel that the only way to deal with a difference of opinion is to talk it out, others will feel that they need space and time to first think things through. Some communications styles include: • The Pursuer: These people often feel like they are great communicators because when there is a problem, they want to talk it out immediately and keep at it until there is some sort of resolution. Repeating your point of view over and over until you wear the other person down is not the same as being a great communicator. • The Distancer: While the pursuer is insisting that the issues must be talked through right now and for as long as necessary to get "closure," the distancer just wants time to get his or her thoughts together. They do not think well under pressure and often will use anger to push the other person away. They are accused of sweeping the problem under the rug. While it is important to give them space, the distancer often avoids returning to the problem at hand. • The Fixer: These individuals want to quickly fix the problem. They have a hard time listening to what the real issue is but prefer instead, to advise, rescue and take control. These people often find themselves in a relationship with someone who they perceive always needs rescuing. Their partner, however, may feel disrespected. • The Blamer: This is the person who approaches a disagreement as if it were a tennis match. Rather than trying to hear the other person's point of view, any complaint is deferred back to their partner by blaming. There will be a lot of "ya, but…" and "you do that too". If the problem is never anyone's fault, no one ever has to change their behaviour. A: My husband and I seem to have the same fights over and over. The topic may vary but the pattern always seems the same.Q:Zachary Fiddes B.ENG., O.L.S. President Q: A: What is a grading plan and why do I need one for my new addition? A grading plan is a drawing that shows ground level elevations for all existing details and design elevations for all proposed details within your project. Its purpose is ensure your new construction has safe and proper drainage and won't interfere with your neighbours' use of their properties. When constructing a new home or addition, it is essential that your lot be graded properly to make sure water drains away from any structures and into swales and ditches where the water will flow safely away. Improperly designed grading plans can cause property damage due to standing water, flooding, and/or erosion which is why most municipalities require they be completed by a professional land surveyor or professional engineer. Our field crews will measure existing elevations while our office crews prepare the plans. As licensed professional land surveyors and professional engineers we will ensure your property is properly graded and that you do not encounter costly repairs down the road! 16 Mountainview Rd. S. Suite 101 Halton Hills ON L7G 4K1 info@fiddesclipsham.com 905-877-2211 Find local professionals here every Thursday! 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