7 | O akville B eaver | T hursday,July 29,2021 insidehalton.com I recently learned a new term during CMHA Mental Health Week: 'toxic positiv- ity.' It's when we dismiss any difficult or challenging emotions and criticize our- selves for having them, be- lieving that we have to al- ways have a smile on our face and denying feelings makes them disappear. But if a positive attitude is a good thing, where does the 'toxic' part come from? There is certainly noth- ing wrong with acknowl- edging adversity and tell- ing ourselves that we'll get through it. In fact, it's a helpful coping strategy. Toxic positivity comes when we stuff down our re- al feelings, feel guilty for experiencing anything but positivity, or judge our- selves or others for not just looking on the bright side. Having positive mental health doesn't mean that we are happy all the time. It means that we are able to cope in healthy ways with the challenges and range of emotions that we all expe- rience, even the uncom- fortable ones. Imagine that you are having a stressful time at work or at home and feeling overwhelmed. While positive coping would sound something like "I'm feeling stressed, and that's OK -- I'm going to make a plan, and I'll get through it", toxic positivity would sound more like, "Me? Stressed? Never! I can't feel that. Not allowed. I'm fine...it's fine...every- thing's fine." When we deny rather than cope with our feel- ings, it can have a number of negative impacts, in- cluding the following: • More physical symp- toms, such as upset stom- achs and headaches. Our mental and physical health are intertwined, not sepa- rate, and difficult feelings will find a way to make themselves known in one way or another. If we don't acknowledge them, they'll come out in our bodies. • Less personal growth. Uncomfortable feelings can highlight when some- thing isn't working for us and needs to change. Take a relationship, for example. If we constantly deny that we are feeling let down by or angry with someone, we likely won't be motivated to either talk about it or move on. • Further challenges with coping in the future. If we dismiss our feelings, we don't learn how to manage them and may be even more overwhelmed when faced with future adversity because we have limited experience on which to draw. • Less connection with others. If we can't connect to others' difficult feelings because we've denied them in ourselves, it can be chal- lenging to show empathy rather than judgment and have honest, supportive, and compassionate conver- sations. So, when it comes to dif- ficult emotions, don't just focus on saying "every cloud has a silver lining."w We need to acknowledge and get through the cloud before the silver lining comes through. Melanie McGregor is the communications and advancement specialist at the Canadian Mental Health Association Halton Region Branch, which provides mental health/ addiction community sup- port and education. Visit www.halton.cmha.ca for more information and follow @cmhahalton on Twitter. 'EVERYTHING'S FINE' - UNLESS IT'S NOT OPINION OVERCOMPENSATING WITH POSITIVITY CAN BE DETRIMENTAL, WRITES MELANIE MCGREGOR MELANIE MCGREGOR Column SCAN THIS CODE for more local opinions. "Having positive mental health doesn't mean that we are happy all the time." That is great news aboutGlen Abbey being saved. I have attended past Ca- nadian Open champion- ships at the course. The event brought a lot of busi- ness into the area and noto- riety to the town. What is being done to lobby the PGA and Canadi- an PGA for the return of the Canadian Open to this iconic course? I have been to the other venues and Glen Abbey is the best possible 'gallery' course with the best walk- ing terrain for this event. BRIAN MCLAUGHLIN, OAKVILLE GLEN ABBEY BEING SAVED WELCOME NEWS SIGN UP FOR OUR WEEKLY NEWSLETTER AT INSIDEHALTON.COM Three Ways to Support Your Hospital When you support Oakville Trafalgar Memorial Hospital (OTMH), you make our community a healthier place to live. Play the Oakville Hospital 50/50 Lottery Become a Monthly Donor Create a Personal Fundraising Page When you support community healthcare, we all win! You can play for as little as $20. Purchase tickets online by visiting oakville5050.com Your monthly gift delivers reliable and stable funding that will help with the cost of equipment, which government funding does not provide. Commemorate a special event or honour a loved one in a meaningful way. We've made it easy to create your own fundraising page to raise funds in support of OTMH. Learn more by visiting www.OakvilleHospitalFoundation.com