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wkt sfn volume xxv no 4 acton ontario thursday july 27 1890 price thiieb cents win jvcioit jfm vtss ia pojiliaiied every thursday morning it tint free pressstcam print up ofllte uill stkeet aoton ont tkiimb op sduaonirtion otio dollar per year strictly lu advance all subscriptions dlnoou- tlnuodwhon the tlmo for which thoy novo boon paid tim expired tho dato to wbioh oyory ubsorlptlon 1b paid 1b ilonotod on tbiraddroan labol apvaivriama hath s transient advortleo- raouts 10 cents por nonpareil lino for first in sertion s cents por lino for oaob subsequent insertion oontoagt iutuh tho following tablo nhowo our rates for tho insortipu of advertisements for bpoolflod periods new supply of lawn teifflis rackets and balls all fresh new goods bpagb i 1 yd dho 3 mo lko flolnobei 10 inobos mnoboa llnob 6000 85 00 20 00 600 s3 00 30 00 13 00 j5c aooo 19 00 700 aoo 7 00 goo aoo 100 advertisements without spociflo directions vrill bo inserted till forbid ana charged acoord- ngly transient advertisements mnat bo paid n adranoo advertisements will bo obangod onoe each month if deajred for changes oftener than enoeamonth the composition mnat be paid for at regulai rates changes for oontraot advertisements mas oo n the offloo by noon on tuoadays accounts payable monthly h p moore editor and proprietor strong in hammocks trices very low days book store guelph day sells cheap the traders bank of capital authorized capital paid up 1 000000 tooooo guelph branch wo aro qow issuing mouoy orders payable at par at any branch of cburtorod dank in canada oxceptlng tbo yukon district at tbo following rates uudorslo scents 810 to 920 loceuta 630 to 630 isconta d30to 860 11 couta uminm jbimtarp tohn m macdonald m d c m suc0es80c to j f uren m d c m olllao and residence corner mm froderlck roots acton office hoars 6 to 10 33 ft m 1 to 3 p m and toopm r 1jr fors1lr bocciiaaon to dr a b elliott late roaldont rhyslclan and burgeon to via toria hospital for slot oblldroo toronto owicu mill strootlatoly occupied by dr elliott waters bros pictures waters bros frames waters bros artists goods waters bros wyndham street new store guelph highest current itvtd of interest fiald on soma dojiobitod of 81 and upwards nturett allowed from dato of dopoalt to date of withdrawal and paid or compoundod half yearly- advances inado to responsible faruiore on their own names at tho lowestcurront rar no charge made for collecting aaloa no cos if payablo in fuolph a ron oral banking business transacted a fif jones manager 0iru for hardwood floors and cleaning woodwork of any kind the best and most easily applied preparation is speight brady tr dryden eyb em thooat and nobe uoloanb block douglas bl near p 0 guelph orrion houna 10 m to lpm and 8 to 6pm sondatb 10 a m to l p m l bennett ld8 dentist ox0b0ktowk ontabio t coghlan ddslds j dentist woflk oaobfullt bone fnioeb mode bate omtne ovan bnown a dnua btobk hodbsevehy day mom 0 to 6 jh bell dd6 ldb dentist bnoojtvttlb h0n0n gliadpatd ov tobonto uhrvkusltr work made satisfactory fxloes moderate vistlndiswdudayartrnoonpcamp- bellvillo tuesday acton 0hee clarks hotol friday ltookwood legal m olean mclean the andonlgnodroapeotfnllyaolloits the patron ago of tbo public and infonna thorn that well equipped and stylish rigs oan al ways bo soooxed at his btables a oomfortable hue meets trains between 9 am and 618 pm carotal attention given to every ordor thowanta of commercial travel- leraf ally mot ruhn williams pbofheetob barrlitera solicitors notarise oonvoyanoera to privatofandb toloan offloo town hall ao ton wm a mclbun jno a mclkah a j mjlokinnon bannlbteo solioitob contetaickb ofsice mill btreot in matthowa block upstairs h mcleod bamu8tbb souoeton convetanced main street georgetown money to loan at lowest current rato jft j monabb olorki fourth division oourt county o hal- on conveyancer agontflro and lifo assurance ltoal estate agent money to loan etc ovmcbrpenyman slilook aoton ont mxscellajmo vs m iss williams or grouaarow music boooossor to miss xjtiillaw la proparod to glvo tborougb instruction in rauilo piano or organ in theory and practice for terms apply to hiss williams at mr jas mat the w a robldonoo on tuesday evening of each week tenry gbist l ottawa canada solicitor of patents for invention etc urea applications for tbo canadian amor and european patent offices and for the tratlon ox trado marks bend for pam- thirty two yoars oxporlenoe 1banois hunan bookdindeb wndbam st gaelpb ontario over willlamrbtore koooont books of all kinds made to order riodloais of every description csvref oily bound linenoatiinrt prompaltdono rabbiaok li0ehse8 r-r- h j moobb imiixs o majuuaob xiicbmbbs pxivato office no witnesses reoinlred iuaod jt residence in the evening free press offloe aoton vym hemstbbet iiiotrilbbd auotiohsbk for tho counties of wellington and hal ton orders lofl at tbo faa pbisb office acton or t my residence in aotop will be promptly at- oadoi to terujs uessoastbie also money to loan on the moat favorable sums and aft tne lowest rates of interest in jrtav- i budsobidkd btookoapital 1m000 i the wbul1nqton mutual pirb insurance company sitabllsiea 1840 head offloa ouelph ont inbuiunob on cub nd llutul plo any oominuuloatioos forwarded to my ddrm lliox sw or teopboio 68 will bo promptly inded to ooiniriadloatlon forwarded to my tddtam j tt tor tolopbojo 58 will bo promptly tirndad to j 1n tavl0b abontt auoipb aoton machine lindbcpairshops bbmby obindbu proprietor auk wall equipped with all tho maoriiriary iewbw aonaasla all rapalra k maehia- r sdaarloaltnral irnplemonta and to do all klxdioitsmftttldghmlhoalogaridjnarl luumtrdnb woodworit rapalra poronnod rlssriaotorv menor w oa repair any rsaohloa or iroplaroant ol any meie saw umoilnliaodllllurdon ii on saw wills nd wood yards jrt7mabs brown iiasiotactunbiiusddniljki in lumber tnth shlallm wood ste ii viudi of wool in atob and rromptly dil jus anypyt of thtown at ravionablo prloes rjwooi sad slab out tor lengtli alway i on hnd bona oommnoloatlop manufacturers of dynamos electric motors water motors oasoline aku oils enozmss brass a iron castmsto order repairing promptly dono georgetown ont acton livery bus line cooper akins the artistic tailors geg to announce to their friends and the public generally that they are now complete in their spring and summer goods consisting of the latest novelties from the best looms of the world and styles that are shown in new york and london see our latest fashion plates to show our goods is a pleasure call and see us fit and workmanship guar anteed sole agents in acton for the celebrated bellwarp serge which does not fade or change its color in two years wear or money refunded cooper akins main st acton 3zz farmers wants are many but i oan supply all in my line i have in stock extra heavy creamer cans strainer pails extra heavy fine milk pails galvanized pails seamless pressed milk pans and countless other dairy articles outdoorwork roof ing etc a specialty call ibtquotations before placing orders for this class ol work g a pannabecker mill street aoton p s all the wants of people in town will also receive best attention s duilnaaa method and praolloo are taught thorn jghly at tbo quelph business college and k shorthand institute lndlrldnal tuition no olamm htudanta may antar any time if von are interested in any way write for elreulara j bha11p principal i old floor englis wax contains no oil or varnish gives a perfect polished finish ibtos not show heel marks nor scratches we are sole agents for this preparation for guelph and vicinity john m bond co- bard ware ouelps hwellandvale j c hill bicycles agent actosi call and sec the new welland vale bicycles at the bicycle livery the per fect garden city and dominion ore the leading grades while the perfect chajnless his ments which will be appreciated by all wheelmen it is an un disputed fact that the wetland vale wheels cost less for repairs than any other wheel the single piece cranks are the best attachment ever adopted the new de panurer automatic drake gives the rider complete control prices right for purchasers who mean business j c mill everton and eden mills the place to go for the best flour bran middlings chop teed c for sale chopping every day at evcrlon mills and every tuesday thursday nnd saturday at eden milts always buying wheit no credit henry hortop sun savings and loan go head office toronto ont ii authorised cvpzttil 5000000 00 tenyear maturity shares arc paid monthly instalments of 50c per share for x20 months when payments cease 86000 aid in maturity value 10000 money to loan at 5 straight loan or repayable in monthly instalments on appli cation to r j mcnabb agent acton agknt8 wantbd for the life anil aoblevemenls of admiral dewey tbe worlds great naval hero by uurat bststead the llfelodb friend and admirer of the nations idol filgftoit and beat book over 000 paces eight by ten inebos nearly 100 paces halftone lllastra- ttona only no bnorniopa detnaud illf eommiasions outfit free chanoe of a lire- time writs quick tbe dominion company srd floor oaxton bldg olilbago hematic tbli word la our copyrighted guarantee for parity and btreogtb when aeon ou our goods it makes them tbo standard for their several fmrpoaaa and its jpreeenee protects yon from mltatlons and inferior goods look for it plant spray pertlatlo plant bpray contains no mineral poison erseoto or parts green bare death to all insect life lungf etc harmless to vegeta tion canadas only reliable spray sheep dip pertlatlo sheep dip la a preparation for tho onre of akin fllseaaee and tbo eradloavtlon of vermin in sheep and cattle it la highly medi cinal and does its work with no draatlo or irrlteidg effeota indorsed by loading sheep raisers horsewaah perslatlo horse wash is a specially propartd medloameut for the core of skin diseases peculiar to borsea aud for ridding them of all loaeet pasts and vermin it has a surpassingly refreshing effort brightens the pelt ana put tho skin in a thoroghly healthy condition prloe 91 00 por 81 oa can ik wash perslatlo pig wan i successfully used in all oases of skin dlssasos of swine and for destroy ing nits hoe and vermon generally keeps tho akin in healthy oondltlon and ensures a healthy appearance in the dressed animal for market hen house spray s feralatlo hsn house bpray and poultry powder destroy vermin peculiar to the feathered stock on fowls ot in sheds acta a a dlaln fee tan 1 destroying serma and purifying tho atmosphere used liberally they prvrhl roup and kindred diseases purohass these gooda from your dealer or send to us direct for them wo invito oorrea- poudenee the pickhart renfrew co limited 8touffvllle ont tlle undbr w you liadn t ougut to blamo a man for things ho habntdone hor books he hasn t written or for flghta bo hasnt won tbo waters may look placid on tho surface all aroun an jot thoro may bo undertow a koeplu of blm down slnco tho days of evo and adam when tbo tight of llfo began it aint boon eafo my urothoru for to llgbtly judgoamau ho uiny bo tryln faithful for to mako ufa llfo a go ail rot hie logs git tangled in tho treaohrous uudortow r ho may not lack in loaruln au he may to want for brains ho nmy be always workln with tho patlontlst of pains au jot go unrowarded an my frlonde bow can wokuow what boigbta bo might aolimbod up to but for tho u odor tow ouvo hoard tbo yankoo story of iho bgn s noat with a hole an how tbo ben kop laylu eggs with all ber might an soul yet riovor got a settln nor a alnglo egg i trow that ban wee simply klckln gin a hidden undertow there a holos in lijta of bona nests an youve got to peop below to aoo the eggs a rollln whore they hadn t ought to go don t blame a man for failln to achlovo laurel crown until youre sure tho undertow aint draggin of blm down i h jnghtingale she waa learning on her arms at ihe gate and looking away from him itii no ube dbo said i ooatdnt marry any one unless i was bo fond of him that i couldnt bear my life without him thats the only excuse for marriage then im not to 00 me here any more i buppose oh dear i ehe said drawing her eye brows together with a worried frown why did you go and spoil it all it waa all ao pleasant 1 cant yon really be benbible lflt as go on just as we were and pretend that nothing hat happened no he eaid i shall go away when one lives in lodgings they may as well be in putney or kew as here she thonght how dall tennis aud dance and picmo would be without bim and said stiffly just as yoa please of coarse thep her face lighted op as the rattle of hoop and hoop btiok and little pattering feet drew ber eyes to the other aide of the road where a little girl in a soarlet frook oaoie quickly along the aaphalt her brown bait flmg behind her heres vynie tbe obild saw ber bister and her friend for he was a friend to all children and struck the hoop bo that it bounded on the ourb and flew into the middle of tho road tbe little scarlet figure followed it then in a habb e butchers cart from a side road a clatter a scream a coree and the bntober was reigning in his horse thirty yards down the road and looking baok over his blue shoulder at a heap of scarlet and brown that now had crimson mixed with it and over wbioh a girl in a blue gown and a man in a gray salt were beudiug her leg is broken they have set it it will be months before she oan walk but they say she will be all right again then the two were standing at the gale again but now tbere was no fresh rose in her face and in his eyes no lighaof passion my poor dear ha said and she did not resent hih word let mo ao anything i oan forgot all that folly of this morning and let me help my poor little vynie i will you shall she said looking at him through swollen eyelids red with weeping bnt there is nothing anyone oan do it is horrible when i told her that she would havo to lie stillfor a time she tried to smile and then she said dont ory sissy i will be as good as gold and then she bald she would sleep all day and he awake at night to bear the nightin gale she has never heard it yet he remembered bow he had listened to tbe nightingale in tbe copse behind ber home on many a summer night when he had walked lonely in tbe fields to see her light in the window and ber shadow on the blind and he sighed and said the nightingales are singing bravely in tbe woods beyond the station im glad eho has thought of something that pleases her poor darling vynie lying still and rigid in ber ipllnts with wideopen eyes watohed the day die then the lamp was lighted and presently that in its tnrn gave place to tbe yellow glow of the night light end the great shadows it oasl are yoa asleep sissy my own said tbe little voice no my darling rose bent over tbe bed does it want anything f will it have some milk nice fizzy milk no yes but i want to hear the night ingale sissy why doesnt he begin iant it late yes my sweetheart but perhaps the nightirgilesbo-inauaprfltty-uome-iq- the warm country where ho liver that be cant make np his mind to come here ob sissy he most come i i osnt lie still all tho lime unless be comes do ploaao ask ood to tell tbe nightingale bow badly i want biro and sissy pat oat tbe light perhaps be doesnt like to stag till hes sure im in bed and ba couldnt know ive got broken coold he no my precious no try to go to sleep and slbsy will wake yoa if he begin to sing but vynie ooatd not sleep and by morn- lug tbe fever was blgb she talked and moaned and laughed but always bar ory was for the nightingale of aster tom mist to inqolre rose went down trembljng with want of sleep haggard wlgb anxiety she took the great basket of roses bsr frlsnd bad brought and holding it told him how the night had passed they were singing like mad down by the station he said confound ihe brutes i i expect yonr nighlngals isnt coming this year dont said the girl i believe vynie will have no rest if he doesnt when she heard the ohnroh balls ibis morning she told me to tend to tbe olergyman and tell him to explain to god that sbe ooufdnt do without tbe nightingale ob my own little girl 1 oh tom shes all i have tom was not saob a fool as to say yoa have me he only said yer i know aud pressed her baud yoa arp good fho said and went buck to tbo child a lfttlo fliful sleep came in tho long night hours of that terrible sunday but it wsb broken and feverish and at every awabeuing the littlo voice growiug ever weaker said isnt it dark yet wont god aeud the nightmgale ob susy i do want to hear him the old servant who had beau with the two blot era since v aion birth two mouths after tbe fathers death had coat tbe life of the mother inaihted nu sending roae lo rest and sat by vymos bide nuraey whispered tre child come olose will ou do wlitt i say anything my precious said the old woman holding tbe hot littlo hands in her smooth withered palms well kneel down and tell god i shall die if i dont have the nightingale god will attend to you because you always remember to say your prayers i forget mine sometimeijeveu when im not very sleepy ob nuraoj i vball never bebleepy any more do tell god all about it the old woman knelt by the bedside and with a faith as simple and beautitui as the obi id a own told god all about it the dask was deepening tbe obild lay with cheeks soarlet ugoinot the white pillows and shining ejes fixed on the slowly darkening squares of the window she moaned with pain and the misery of sleeplessness open tho window narsny my dear she said softly when the night bad almost fallen i think i heard something when tbe window was opened vynie held ber breath and listened to a silence that after a moment was softly broken by two or three mellow notes is it oh is it nureey naraey its the nigbuogale right enongb my pot said the old woman as rose crept into the room like a ghost in hor white dressing gown ob sissy ray own i it is it is i gods uot forgotten me hes going to let me go lo sleep and i shall bear the night ingale even when im asleep listen 1 again the full noted pierced tho boft darkness bobo gathered ber little sister in her arms and together they listened vynie to the song of ihe nightingale and rose with a full heart to tbe breathing gradually more even and tranquil of the little obild she held against ber bosom shes asleep said the noree softly i wont move whispered rcao ill stay here oh thank god thank god tom came every daj to inquire and it seemed to rose that he grew paler and thinner in this anxious time and every night the notes of the nightingale sounded from tbe dark wood through nights radiant with clear moonlight and through tbe black darkness of night wi d with wind and rain and vynie grew stronger and ate aud drank und played dominoa and was on the high road to well being oooe more then came a night when the uightiugale did not sing yynie did not misb it she slept so bound o nights trow and ou that night followed a day when tom did not come aud then another day and another rose missed him miserably on the first day she was angry at bis absence on tbe second ehe was acxlons and on the third she sent tbe old nurse to see whether he was ill youd best go around said tbo old woman when she came back from her mission hba more than ill pneu monia or something and be keeps aaking for you gojou iii stay with the ohild hes got no one with him but his landlady a feckless body if ever tbere was one go now my iamb 80 rose went his faoe showed ghastly in the frame of his disordered hair and of a three dajs beard she came to him and took his hands that woman says im dying he whis pered but vynies all right isnt sbe yet yes but what have yoa been doing oh tom it isnt my faalt is it tom i didnt drive yoa into folly that woman say youve been out all night etery night since vynies been ill say it wasnt my doing it was for vynie be said i was the nightingale dear dont yoa remember how i used to oall the robins for yoa in the winter it was a billy little thing bat it was all i ooatd do for ihe dear and it did do her good you said so he turned aside his head exhausted rosos eyes were full of tears yoa staid in that wood all night every night yon imitated tho nightingale in all wind and rain 7 and now she had crouched by tbe bed and laying ber bead on her bands sbe sobbed aloud donf be said feebly it was nothing jast a little thing to please tbe obild she lifted her face flushed and distorted by ber violent weeping and laid it gently against bis he put up a feeble hand and toaobed her neck yoara sorry for me he whispered yoa neednt be i cant even be unhappy after this your faoe yonr dear faoe i dont in the least mind dying now sbe sprang op pfartqm my ow yp i think bo wtil whether or no said vynio com- the fall of adam him at about it if he sing in that wood next jear but tho nightingale never sung in ibat wood again oollter weekly deartonrl youre not going to die i shall send narse to take care of yoa now promise me at onoo that on will get well beoaube vynie and i oaunot possibly live without yoa my dear dear dear tom did not give the promise but bo did what was better ho got well when he flrat saw vynie now walking cheerfully with the crotches that would soon be laid aside she told bim about the nightingale and do you know she said sissy says he never sang tfter yon got if i suppose god was so busy taking care of yoa tbat he hadnt time to bother with nanghtynigblingaies their singing the nightingale sang very nicely thongh when he was mads to only i thought after a bit he seemed a little husky perhaps he caught a cold said tom boms of the nights wore very wet perhaps he did like yon yon know said vynie cheerfully well he was a naughty nightingale lint if he bad a cold i hope lie had some one as nlee as nureey and sister to look after him like they did you i think be had ssid tom anyway i shall always love biro even if lie wad naughty because be helped me to get well it would maki him very happy if he knew ibtt do yoa think be doss know a horses wonderful power of smell the fol lowing from horse and stabe bhows how very keen iodeed must be tbo horses benso of smell the horse will leave musty hay untouched iu his bin however hungry he will not drink of any water objeotiooablo to bia questioning eniff or from a bucket whioh eotue odor makes offensive however thirsty his intelligent nostril will widen quiver and query over the daintiest bit offered by the fairest of hands with coaxings that would make a mortal shut bis eyes and swallow a nauseous mouthful at a galp a mare is nover bitiened by etiher sight or whinny that her colt is really her own uutil she has a certified nasal oertinoito to the fact a blind horse now living will uot allow ihe approach of any stranger without showing signs of anger not safely to be disregarded the distinction id evidently made by bis sense of smell and at a considerable dis tance blind horses as a rale will gallop wildly about a past are without striking the sarrouodlng fence the sense of smell in forms them of its proximity others will when loosened from tbe stable go direct to to tbe gate or bars open to their acoaa- tomed feeding grounds and when desiring to return after hours of careless wandering will distinguish one oat let and patiently await its opening the odor of that par ticular part of tbe fenoe 1b their pilot to it tho hone 10 browsing or while gathering herbage with its lips is guided in its ohoioe of proper food entirely by its nostrils blind horses do not make mistakes in their diet 1 t j a i d times ministers iu scotland utfi furtably ill go out in ihe wood and tell 1 x 4l- j j to give out in the kirk ou sundays that on buah nud uoh a day they would visit such a bouse and such another houee anil exam- ino the people parents as wall uu chitdroj n iho shorter catechism the confess ion of faith the soripturos generally und other inspired writing- iiong long ago the miimtor ot new luce oarring out fia old custom gnve it out ono sunday that he would unit belmurray on the tuesday and all the liordd and others round abput were lo be there at iho appointed time to bp oateohiied and a ail urn buir when ho heard hit name called out us ono who wsb to bo visi- ted set off lo the thu village tbo day bjfore for some bits of things to entertain the minister aud others for there was ayu u tea after oauohising was done among other ihingb ho had to get wap f course a bottle ot whuky and when admn wat was getting it who oomoa in but tho shco maker and he treat a adam to a ti i ud adam treats hrm and the landlord treats them botb and thoy both treated the landlord and kept at it till adam was hardly able to 6 tagger out ot the village with the bottle in hia breast pocket and the grooenes in tho poke of his plaid however it was a good moonlight night and he got on finely till just as he was coming round his own house end he tippit ower a graip that somebody bad left lyiug and fell breadth and length on tbe staues as he stottered forward to fall tbe bottle came out of his pouoh and went to smash and when be fell be came right down on the broken glass with bis face and cut himself mopt fearfully the wife beard tbe noise and ruumng ont had him carried in and sorted up his faoe making a terrible lamentation over the broken bottle and wondering how ever adam was going to faoe the minister iu the morn when the mora came it was decided to make tho minister believe tbat adam waa from home and keep him all tho timo abut np in the box bed and this was done accordingly and wbon the people arrived and the minister came an evasive reply was given to bia enquiries after adam after going over the district scandal as usual the minister set them all np in a row and looked grave and all the people looked as solemn as it they had bsen set aptobeshot taming to mrs blair the minister said well janet as i thick yon are tbe oldest and therefore the fittest person present ill just begin with you and the first i have to ask ib this what waa it that occasioned tho fall ot adam janet looked as it she bad seen a ghost and thinking tbat some one had told tho tho minister ofher hnehanda adventure sho replied deed sir it was the graib sir he wasna that foa ir aither but be jast trippit ower the graip at tbo houseend err it miohi hoe happened tae yersel he dadna abune three gills io bim but the bottle made an anco band o htr face deed ye ken everything fir an its nae aso trying tae bide ooht frae e ajara ye may oomo oot frae the bad noo the minister has heard a aboot it though lord kens what llmmer telt him 1 ttte story of the kiqnoike thoy aro co mi nu from tho klondike loaded down with hags of iid uvory day or two tlto atory of tbo woudor la retold i thoy aro bringing homo tbuir fortunoa and tho figures that tuey natno mako us stro and make ub sorry that wo worou t iu tbo game thoy aro coming down fioui dawson to aaouiid tho toilers bore thoy aro coming ljoiiio with mouoy to fling in tho atmoepharo tltey aro boepiug na excited with tbo talcs tbat thoy unfold and thoy fill our sloop with vibiouh of alluring honpu of gold ftut for tacli who cornea to toll us of tho fortune tliat bo found thoro aro biiudrodu who arodlggliih iu unprolltablo ground hundreds who alouo and hungry labor on from day to day j looking baok and longing vainly for tho crusts they threw away tboy aro coming with big n tori 08 of tho rlolios that tboy hoar and their figures may bo truthful hut tbo bouea that whlton thoro and tho moaning aud tbo oartiiug of tho hutidrods loft behind toll a atory that is truer of the treasures that thoy dud s hi kuter in the chtcaqo twit a herald just for fun a little girl whose parents had recently moved from country to town and who is now enjoying hnr first experience in liviog in a street thus described it in a letter to another obild this is a very queer place next door is fastened to our house i hope you are not ootting a friend said a neighbor to a farmer who was soratohing tbe back of a pet pig with a stick bristling up with indignation tbe farmer replied no sir im only so rap ing an acquaintance benjamin franklin sleeps in philadel phia remarked tbe roverent tourist well answered the new york salesman with tho plaid clothes what else is tbere for a man to do in philadelphia wash ington star when little billy tho pastors eon saw tbtetahiokens that were suffering from the gapep he ventured the opinion p raps pa theyve been saying over borne of your sermons out here in the yard boston transcript no sir said the rabid freethinker tbo idea that tbere is a god never for a moment has entered my bead same way with my dog replied the deacor bat he dosnt go round howling about it exchange sale of a kiss a pretty story is told of a fascinating english actress whose name is not men tioned being dea irons of assisting a certain charity in the provinces bheofiered a kiss to be pat up to auction the bid ing was brisk and had advanced in three leaps from two guineas to thirty when without further parley tbo roand sum ot eight hundred pounds was offered there being no higher bidder the kiss was knooked down by tbe auctioneer to a colonel in one of our line regiments who came forward to meot the blushing young lady bat to tbe surprise of all present tbe colonel introduoed a dour little fair- haired boy explained tbat it was his grandsons fifth birthday and that he bad acquired the kiss as a birthday gift for him whereupon the aotrees took tbe child in her arms and discharged her debt with interest tbe charity a local one in whioh tbe colonel took a keen interest waa the rloher by eight hundred pounds for the grandads generous whim his plan so yon think yoa oan dress a show window bo that all tholadleb will stop and look at it do yoa asked the manager of a drapery establishment of an applicant for work yes sir i do well sir what is the first thing you would do id put a big mirror in the window and thats enongh young man we dont want you as an employee well take you in as a partner the reason he chanoed sit uations did yoa hear the reason why i left my old employers said a drummer the other day to a few friends to this enquiry they all gathered aronnd fully expecting to bear a good story as tom familiarly pqlkd bybibfrloadg mue back in his ohair i answered an advertisement aboot a new book light of life as tbe title struck ma forcibly and i found it contain ed the story of tbe new testament together with explanations of all the more difficult portions thus being a com plete commentary it also contains tbe complete lives of the apostles that this work was really two volames in one embellished with some of the best illustra tions i ever saw the atataes of the apostles were by tbe renowned sculptor thorvaldsou these having been -reprodoc- lan dpablished incon ueot lotiwi ththa a bit of nonsense tho following is oertainly nonsensical but a bit of nonsense now and then is relished by tbe wisest men as i over beard it i laughed heartily and the son of mine botit laughed with me colonel wolcot of the commonwealth hotel had brought from virginia a full complement of sable servants tbe colon els are the upper crust and their dis- tion is proper and ornate the negro servants were observing and desired to copy tho fine language of those whom they served marcel loos is you better thia mornin i heared ono colored gentleman ask another at tbe foot of the main stairway no gato i waa better yesterday but im feared im collapsed again good maroe11us am tbere no hopes ob your diecobery diecobery of what gato ob the oonwalessaaumpas dat fotobed you down dat depends npon tho case ob whether the disease is fatal or not what am tbe partoular disease mar- oellus x tink de doctor spostedbebro apwnal menonmgistub in de fiv pluoe but after wards ho wuant so suali isnt dat a terrible disomo marcellus it certain am an isnt you afeard of a fatal determi nation well cato that depends upon the prognostics ifde aniroalonsbus oinal is u noon str noted and de contendin circum stances dont confiscate de disease de fatal pint may be awoided bat it the fatal amplification does oomo and it extermi nates fatally its bard to tell wbedder dis nigger will ahufile off do tramps of hia mortal coil or not but i aint dead yet gato mind dat and marcel i as wont to j wesley and asked for a little warm rum and sugar for jila rcmy oold bound to advertise once writes an old journalist when i waa couduuting a paper iu tho western stottea i oonvinced a mn that it paid to advertise ho was a fairly prosperous mercbont and x tried for a long time to get him to insert au advertisement in my piper oh its no use he would say i nover read the advertisements in a paper and no one eleo does i behove iu adver tising hut in a way that will force itself on tho public then it pyj but iu a news paper- pshaw 1 everybody who reads your newspaper dodges iho advertising oplumoa as if they wero poison 1 whi said i if i can convince you that peoplo do reai tho advertuing pages of nay paper will you advertise 1 of courpo 1 will i advortio wherever i think it will do any good the next day i ran ilia following line in tho lightest faced agate in the office aud stuck 111 tho moatpbecuro corner of tbe paper between a couple of patent medicine advertisements what is cohen going to do about it the next day so many people annoyed him by asking wbat the lino moant that be begged me to explain tho matter in my next issue i prom iced to do it ifjhe woald let me wnte the explanation and would stand to it ho agreed and i wrote ihe is going to advertise of oourso and ho did marvelous instinct in cats tho marvelous instinct of an uuimal is said to be sometimes a suro warning of impending danger it seems to be the onee ot the pet oat of the steamer ctly of ktnffton this animal a large yellow one of no particular recommendation except its purring proolivitea bus long bon attached to that versel and not even tho most persuasive co ixing could induco it to leave tbe couhne of tho bhip it has never been knowu to uilas a trip when the kwgnton arrived at seattle from victoria early sunday morning for some mysterious roanou tbo feline went on shore and when the time came for tho departure for tacoma which resulted in the disaster to the kingston the animal refused to be coaxed aboard finally a baucer of milk proving anavaiing one of the ships crow took trie cat mto his arm a and carried it aboard the vessel but just as the lines wero hauled iu and tho bloamer was leaving the dock tho sagacious puss sprang from the kuiyttvn to the wharf and disappeared in a pile of bags ic la now alive aud the admiration of all handd at yesler wharf post tntelltqencer seattle he poked his nose dr von stephen tbo gorman post- mabtergeuerul recently took a tram from konigabrug to enjoy a fow days deer stalking says london til fits arrived at dlrscbau a town near his destination be stepped iuto the station telegraph office to send newt of his bafcty to his wife in berlin the official recognized his chief at onoo and with all obsequiousness began to wnto down his message suddenly he morse instrument used for sorvloe tele grams only began to work and very shortly hie excellency priokod up bis ears for he distinguished the particular clicks that represented hia own nam a ho looked at the clerks f aoo and whon tho ticking had ceased ho took up tho paper ribbon and road as follows ldokoutfor nqaalla stephen is somewhere on tho lino he will he poking his noae overy where tbe poutaatsler general smiled sardonically and then went to the transmitter and flashed back tbisfreply too lato i he has al ready poked bis uobo i n hero stophen the wrong pocket tbo other day two ladieb entered a street oar at a time wbon scats were a possibility one was a stout overdressed lady the other was evidently hor daughter shall i pay tho fare mamma i have talk to your horse sixteen masterpieces of the worldfamous i btookhont hofmann and hahn engrav- 1 ings knowing that not a family in a thous and had the lives of tbe apostles or a com mentary and that this book would have an enormous aale and as my old employers oonld not hold out sufficient inducement to equal the effer of the bradley garretson oo limited i concluded to give up dram miog and took bold of light of life i assure yoa friends this ohange was the wisest i ever mode and i shall never regret it if yoa want to mono money easy and fast write their brentford house for a position like mine when a man bai a very strange name wa forget its atrangonsas when we learn he is rich some man unknown to the writer here of has given to tbo world a saving that etioks talk to your now as yoa would to a lady there is more tbere is good sound religion in it what else is it bat the language of the bible applied to an imals a soft answer tarneth away wrath a pleasant word to a horse in time of trouble has prevented many a disaster where the horse has learned that pleasant words mean a guarantee that danger from punishmen i not immin one morning a big muscular groom said to bis employer 1 cant exorcise that horse any more he will bolt and run at anything he sees tho owner a small man and hi at the time askod that the horse be hocked up slepp ug into the carriage ho drove a couple 0 milst and then asked the groom to station along the road suah objects as the horse was afraid of this was dona and the horse was driven by ihem quietly baak and forth with loose lines slapping on bis baok the whole secret was in a voice that inspired confidence the man had been frightened when he taw what he supposed tbe horse woald fear the fear wont to the horse like an electric message then came a punishing pull of the hues wllb jerking nud the whip talk to your horse as to your aweotheart buffalo ihnn world my pnrao with me bid tho young lady sweetly oh no ill pay i havo plenty of ohange thereupon aha leaned sideways and com esq n cod tho intricato process of search ing lior draporioa for her pocket after a ml nute or two of fumbling during which her face grow an apoplotto rod she exclaim od trsgioally laura what shall i do ivo beon robbed 1 my purse is onc my pocket is entirely emptv perhapp madam said tho gentleman by heraid whose eoat pocket shehad been fumbling all the time perhaps if yoa searoh yonr own pocket instead of mine yoa will be nioro likely to find jour parse a provincial reputation hatmittons marblo works guelph is the soeue of very aotive operations nt present he will bhip shortly monuments for ereotiou at saruia jridetovvu london berlin hamilton stratford gait and oilier points no bettor indication of the superior work and material supplied by this old and reliable establishment than tho unsolicited orders from a dlstaooe whtoh oome to mr j u haimlton l proprietor a largo shipmont of sw5 and hootch granite has just been reoe and mot tides a number of ettraotlv designs-