The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

W!^l^^^':"'^^^^^^^^^^m^^^m^^^m mvi.wmm mBM< sll liPl xwff; f§§ THE LAfefe SfltfoM NEWS, MlDAY, JANUARY 2#19a3 ^p^^,;-:^^^^^^^:i. :'^;;.SffiC oofc Reiliws By John Philip Morris Ft over a yeiar I have been bom- through the mall with adver- nts of Books of Etiquette, they got my name as a good ct I cannot guess, although at hicago restaurant where 1 ate legs and artichokes an*-gr©en net pie and had three forks left at ""the finish, there was a man nsisted upon securing my name ddress.• '. ',<xi -*--k fc epistolary deluge together with ibune's asking brazenly and each day What is Wrong with picture and offering a dollar for embarrassing moments at jave me a behavior inferiority ex of such magnitude that put soup into the realm ot the in- ^the propaganda * none of us^ are really succeeded, for __ perfect, So having deciaeaT tcT^invesTTn >k of Etiquette, I naturally want- ie best. That, as Macbeth said, |the question.|r-ThejFe\seemed to |--wide-choice, 'if Kknew; however^ JLord Chesterft3eld|was put ^ date ] Mrs. VahderbftC "Mts. Palmer, j!y Table Manners nor any of the sty Leaders I knew personally led to be in the ranks ef the *aiL- . So I had, to choose by puhlish- Seeing - 4ihe hail ni^rlklhg^iwor^s >ORAH BfQOK oii^iiieiKQlumet I f purchase', PERFECT BEHAiridR )onald Ogtien Stewart, jwart I knew wrote spirit Joys de esprits) for Vanity Fair, that izine that circulated exclusively lg the cultured . and the etiquet- md I felt instinctively that Stew- book would have atmosphere at A Vanity Fairian, Doran and r»EGT ^BEHAVIOR. Not good crect-Jior satisfactory hut, superlative, ultimate* PERFECT rior. Iging from the index the book led a wide range of behaviors, to behave at a wedding or in a Introduction, courtship, mar- tow;â€"toâ€"giveâ€"atâ€"partiesâ€"and there must be some discrepancy be- tween the aura^olPmy isoul and the impressions recorded by my mind, if you understand what I mean; Per- haps I could put it better by saying that the circle of the instructions could not be resolved into the square of the facts. But It me expiain by giving a con- crete example. Mrs. J. P. M. and I decided to give a Hallowen party ac- cording to the instructions, EXACT- LY according to instructions. What was the result? Three of our guests were murdered bv indignant ^ neigh- bors, one was drowned, seventeen landed in hospitals and if you hav)» ever wondered why it was that the Wilmette Police were called up to Winnetka to help out the local force on the 31st of October last it was to persuade our guests that the party was completely over. "Our own per- sonal Doctor's bill was larger than that of the caterer and if the courts ever move more quickly I may yet have to pay some of the million dol- lars in damage suits that have been filed against me. I am so used to at- tending inquests of our late guests that I long to join the morgue ija.an- other capacity. Besides" I must not forget ^at^nT~government isafpr me iipt. sending-^^robsceneâ€"rifatter through the mails and our invitations were only copied word for word from those in PERFECT BEHAVIOR. We must have a most uncouth govern- ment. ..â- -â- â- â€¢:,' .%*?*.'& " •«?# ™».^.,% There ii^v| been^nany other minor mishapX^u^ m tMe social cult of Stewart. I endeavored to amuse my wealthy grandmother whom J have cherished fotf years in a Stewactian fashion. She promptly disinherited me and died before I/.eouJd show her' where it stood in the book. 1 $ No, PERFECT B|H^.vipR is not a safe Socrates for .social seekers but it is like Mr. Stewart's other works, oneâ€"of the funniest books that was bso^fever--writtenâ€"aadâ€"tar-itr-as-iiiâ€"The~ PARODY OUTLINE OF AMERICAN HISTORY, Mr. Stewart joins humor with^a fine understanding and to- gether at times they almost amount to inspiration. .^,â€" John Philip Morris. act when one is given you. *>JBe- IF coverings the whole social field H the cradle to the grave. Each &r split, up into,, correct ,: suK- and every other^word" in quotes. |all this for a- mere pittance. [{A ice at today's exchange rates' is 51.90 in gold> though the publish- Ill take a check). took the rboort-name, removed all /superfluous clothing that might Jer the thought waves fromoene- |ng and plungcnl Into etiau#»t^ =$7 r I memorized, I digested.. Then ^nf forth Wtmm&MWW^Wtifc id yetâ€"yea,, verily and yetâ€" P0RTANCE0F COMFORTABLE ysical discomfort il cbntrafy ature's plan; and if the cause ot removed, the ultimate effect be anything from a local pain a breakdown in physical vigor, oes are a particular source ot mfort, because ther^ average an foot Ik tasfeed more ^tn^^ahi |r Part of *hjT twdy: - ^1"^ I|câ€"some more : than others-â€"but ftll do walk and are glad of itt fine walk in ihtermtttent ps in. ,e chuggle along like, a motor with cylinders not workingâ€"because efficient human foot is hindered restrained by inhuman shoes.P-r Some walk along briskly, with en- ihent and "pep." These are the is who wear good shoes like Canti- er Shoes, with room for the toes, :h lines shaped to the natural foot, h flexible shankâ€"whichâ€"fitsâ€"up Ugly and bends with the foot arch, lis, the arch muscles* being unre- ained, help along and gain strength 'Ough exercise. C-:^^:£vti^ ♦pt only is your foot-comfortable^ in Cantilever Shoes you are fol- ing the dictates of Fashion in iring smart looking oxfords with maaB^-hm^mx::MMM;WPm >â-  Silt KiffcwMy^HhsNirthSfciwty )RTH SHORE BOOTERY 529 DAVIS STREET |; : Phon«Ev. •WT.ffJS ANSTON,IKtv£5^v;SiIUJNOra Po insure proper fitting, tailed an X-Ray )re. This service we~~ machine in^mr to^ you without iar Cantilever Booklet SBB=BHBBHB5=H5B5Ba -~jH----------- SEE THAT YOUR CHILD SEES RIGHT Regular youngsters should have good' sight. Does^your youngster have it? Poor vision may lead to se- rious trouble later, if not cor- rected now with properly fitted glasses. :^*:; pon^t IbJIme tne child tl youA' are in doubt about its eyes. « An Examination Will Quickly Tell the Story. . ©r;Q,H.BERSCH OPTOMETRIST 5 ii Formerly Mgr. Opt. Dept. f - ^tc.^ P. PEACdeK, Inc. I . il^fiJMilmcltc Av& ^ Wilmette, Illinois f for Appointment Phone I , ^ I WILMETTE 2766 I | or lies. WILMETTE 1707 |; TPS EASY^ TO PAY FOR A ____CHEVROLET OUR WAY Northwestern Motor Co. ^ ii'4*0.. attractive home for individuals or small :t'M families who want the same service rendered - -|g ^ -jj- finest fotelj iut intermingled with a~ :^^m^hwne^atmos^kere that adds to the comfort of 619 Davis Street on 4i?l>; Wilmette Av. Wilmiilelt' The stored for Children Wflst m I mi HOUSE-CLEANING SALE The Coming Week will be eventful^t The Store for Chil- dren. We must clean house, just as all thrifty people* do. They say old Mr. WINTER may hang around until April this year. Let him; see if we care! Very attractive cqld- wesLthsr at found here; and we are clear- ing out the remainder at such low prices it would be easy^to ^ Llo^ljyinils_ajid^sto^ â- before .spring. ^ ^f f â- '-;}"; 5!^:i?ff 2 It is good to see happy young faces glow in the crisp out-of-; floors at this time. Just be sure the kiddies are properly dress-J ed. Sometimes they are hard; on cloth^ but yoti c^tn now get mpre for your money than at mfet a.ny other time. Take advanlfee of this housen ing m ;'?:â- â- â- â- â- â- :* X h â-  â- JJ Mi v!-» An lassorttnent lofv ?OVERi CQ$£S will be closed j^s$ U^p7 v-w «r: i. :^j: â- i *.jr-i>,t. |tiiaf b6 had at abojftt hjtlf to icesF â- :;j's'tj^'*i*.' EANJ^1JS|I3 ARGAllST S, ;will^|§pt ;be.a"special attraction^fcw:^ ?iWothing., seasonable' i^i^to,':':be^v#^l?|S' "carried over^ These mid-wimer^ ~'M®&. yM -^ .Jargai^^^ |tttal advantage. The3TCOnl?^ Siprise,^ many- usefu| articles* M.'Kllf11 sharp reductions, Wc must v;<prepai^ for sptmg. '-WH: l£^LWX? !"':!C-.^vf'.;;'?^f|' ilii il!l â- ';!'% m â- l$m M timi m l^jii ip^fff^ft K I m )^MmiikmM^lk»M^ $8mtifflmsiAa&:-. wt mmmm