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28 WILMETTE. LIFE .. ... February ::,. 1027 2f WILMETT~ LIFE ISSUED FRIDAY OF EACH WEEK by I.LOY.iJ UOLLISTER, INV. 1222 Central Ave., Wilmette, Ill. Chicago office: G N. 1\lichigan .Ave. 'l'el. State ti326 tJUBSCRIPTION PRICE .............. $2.00 A YEAR ,.elephone ............................... Wilmette 1920 All communications must be accompanied by the name and address of the writer. Articles for publication must reach the editor by Wednesday noon to :nsure at·Pearance fn current Issue. Resolutions of condolence, cards of thanks, obituary, notices · of entertainments or other .ttTalrs where an R.dmlttance charge ls published, will be charged at regular advertising rates. Entered at the post office at Wilmette, Illinois, as mall matter vf the second class, under the act ot Varch 3. 1879. five to ten years." · That's jolly i ·n't ~t? "Five or ten years!" . But he has been made glad by gtfts fn< m \\'ilmettc friends. .-\nd he's thankful that he 's no \Yorsc. So here's \\'hat yon rra,n. do to . bri g hten up your own dark day s. l hmk of ?\Iittcn. and when you get well enou~· h to push a pen, drop him a gooc~ fello,:·shlp letter. Hoy, :Montana, will get 1t to hmL ]£ ,·on did not hear Dr. j. ~Ialc o lm l~inl tell <;f his experiences with medium s and spirits YOU missed unusual enlightenment · and enjoyment. 1fc is everything that a public spea ker Bird on should he. Ile speaks ,,·i th Spirits remarkable and gratifyingdi stinctne ss and uses simpk, nTryday Engli sh. JTis talk is a model of scientific clearness, accurac,·, coherence and nnitv. So vou see wha·t von mis sed . ,,·hen vo~1 didn't ·hear Bird. l-1e is a speaker whom no one can mi sunderstand. His conclusions are definite. [n his work he has fol1owed the scientiflc laboratory method. A s a consequence his results can withstand n'luch more vigorous and much sharper attack than the ordinary lav critic can offer. \Vhen he concludes tl;at the evidence leads him . to believe that some mediums have supra -normal cog-nition. that the,· know more than the,· could ha vc known ;wrmallv, one should l;e slow to contradict his findings. How the se mediums get this unusual knowledge Bird does not presume to say. J-:Ie does, however. ad,·ance two hypotheses; namely, ( 1) trans cenclental communication and (2) ahnorm;tl ps\·chological condition of the medium. \re've decided not to visit anv more medium s until Dr. Bird has given t;s a Iis.t of those who are not franci s. ·!·-·-·-·-·-·-·--·-··..,-·-·-··-··-· - · -·IGI SHORE LINES ln~ists A man I met last week your name is "Meek, " ·=--- But I told him that if he Thinks. he 'll sec it's " Mickey .. : Just what is i.t like" Mickey," "Mcck "-or "Mike ~ · -\\'u J.. 1 111J l icity gi\·iug word of Chicago' ..; i1 11 · . o~ 1 _ 111g Golf Show ralls attention to the Lie I) , · ,,r. 1 a CUlltraption de signed to trap thO:-t; \\ 1. , ,tr t· prone to prevaricate concerning their , ·1·,. :-;uch devices have been known to cause ou r ~:11" hardened crimina]:.; to cringe in agony ar .· ' "], out their confessions. but as to go lfer . , ·r qui te '> kcptical. 1 Dwellers .on the north shore nsualh· "·elcome spring with open arm~. After the closed ~cason for flowers. g-reen grass and lemonade, the \Yarmer days are greeted with an almost unalloy Bad ed ir)\·. Rut when the snow has Streets meite"d away, and when touring. local and remote, has again hecome the fashion, the badness of many of our streets becomes evident: becomes unpleasantly apparent. On many of them pools of muddy wat<:r are standing .and will continue to stand hecause the drainage is not sufficient to induce the water to leave. This condition is especially true of our ~treet~ that have been widened by the addition of strips of concrete. \\'hatever gutter was there before has he en so leveled as · to make the onetime drain useless. So motorists park their cars in these pudd1cs. step into them and track mud into s~ore and home . Then there are the streets with chuckhole~. These holes seem t o have been made with pickaxes and spade. so sharp are their sides. and so deep arc they. Chuckholes are cruel traps for the Utln-ary driver. Fi11ed with muddy \Yater they seem harmle ss ly shallow. But a drop into one of them is ~lmost sure death tp spring or tire. The way to the lower world is full of chuckholes. Humps and mud and later, dust, arc to Jw expected on main traveled r.oads. hut at the same time these bad fe<~ture s should remind us that the old style of pavement will not stand up against the onslaughts of modern traffic conditions. Better, stronger a venues are demanded. Gentle aa a March Zephyr The occ upant of the edito;ial chair to th e J, .. ·1! thL" so-called "gentle phil osop her" wa s ~ ll t t·: l'd h\· the sudden arri\'al of the latt er individu al ' '·olt his tus sle with the streptococci. It wa s a J,,. n. though short, cncotntter. \Vc, the patit·nt . i 11 v -..uff<'red more from the after efTccts than frto n, :ht· immtdiate dTccts. \\'e arc not optimistic enough to !Jdin l' · !~·,i. !tad m : remained in !Jed, ~[iquc would ha\ v 1: u~ !lowers. Other frirnds did send tt s flow n -, 1:: we have a se ttled belief that ~liquc will '-l'ttc 1 ·, nonl' cxr<'pt thos.e that \H' shall not he in a r c11. 1· · 1ion to en j n y. !\ n d C\'l'n then he will r (' 11 t · · bouquet in stead (Jf buying outright . \\.hat makes us a little te!'lty is to hl' ralkcl "v· tie philo:-opher." It so unds so mu ch lik e h:trr. Je ..;s nut and chtnful idiot. lt's an easy and nc · 1<1unc omm on way of putting 011 the shelf thost· \\ 1 ~ ll]H.: rior ability alarms one. Call a man. a ... ~l·1J·J , philosopher" and he 's already pale and ptlllll , L! . :c11· t· ne is almost riel of him and hi s pungent ]>('II . \\ ' came hark suddenly in order that th e carC' -nn· un our !cit might he aware that we were by 11· means effete. By the \\'ay. can you figure out how it i:-; th 1t we arc each on the other's left? We ofTer a vv r ·. small prize to the bright person that can so ln~ tl 1 1 puzzle. -Fit the Filoso fcr . Tales of Awfulflop (From 'fait·!' Hy Fortmit ·'s Fool) . .\wfulflop wuz the hi doololly uv awl tb <·t <·o ulltl' -' whi1·h 1\'(·s hdwt·t·n th<· north and south IJoundry s til t lw c·oui1trv O\'er which lw ruh-s. In a. wur<.l, h e. wu 7. tiH· hi nmt:l<itY-rnU<'k uv whi ch the re amt no whtc:h. ·r. H< ·in which h~· wur., 'his wurd wur. the las wun whtch wuz gc·nc·rally l'Wd. "\\tun hritc dey not sew long aft<'r IIamPrwg-gs h(~ <.t wun all or the 'panl's IJUttons and pork barn·Is 111 tiH · tr·tt'k nwt· t a.hout whil'h yew wuz tol n~t S<·W long a~·o, olt· Awfulflop call<·d th(·~ h~·gga,r; !:l~) ~n :~nd sC'z he to him, "IIame n C'ggs, I got n tdt-a. .. I· ust \\ u~~ yew ('V<·r ht·d aint it ?" st·z llam e nq~·gs. .:\Tu:;t lw, :-;~·z ...\wfultlop: "llut this'n is th e muh·'s announct·rs. " ·'Shoot," sez Ilanwn c~·gs . . "Yew'\'c lwen hlowtn long- <·nuf ahout whut ye~v 11 dt·w of vew wuz king," commen<·Pd Awfulflop. ··~ow ye're go'in ta. ~·tot yc·r ehaneP. For twenty-four hours i·m gonna be JlanwnPggs and Y~'r gonna he Awfultl'op , hi doo-lolly of whid1 th ere aint no which ··r" "'rhis i:; two much," sc·z Hanwnpggs, "::n·w musta hPd a sun stroke." "Shut up," roarl·d A \\'fulflop. "Yew'll b e kin g fer a day, but the m·xt dt.·y tl1Pre wont he no llam eneggs." Awl of which wuz two r emark thet there wuz gonna he a dt·-eapitalir.ation and Ham neggs \\' UZ two l.Je th<· gut'st of tlw king's official nec:;l{strctclwr. Awfulflop an Hamt·negg!'l St't down kw a big- fe\·d . Xow tlw only an las thing thet Ha.ment·ggR r emt·111bt·n ·d about thc·t fN·d wuz thet the wine h e drunk tast<·d like vineger. '\'ht·n he woke up . he wuz layin in tht:> king's bed an wuz dress(·d in th e king's bt's' pajamas. A :;urvent wuz a standin tlwre an askt·d him "whut 'is majesty wud hev." An tht.!n Ha.m<·n<·ggs n·aliz(·d thet ht· wuznt Hanwneggs, but Awfulflop -fm· :l day. He bounced out uv bed. "Bring me," quoth he, "the begg.a r Hameneggs," an chuk led tew his sc·lf. He claPJwd hiz hans an in comt.· a runnin another survt·nt, "Bring me," he howled, "my official nec·k stn·tcher." An it wuz did . Tlw l'ourt gatlwred r oun tew lizzen tew the . words uv hir. self the king. "Ham 11('g·gs," roared the new ~·omt· Awfultlop, "yew hev boasted long enur. Tomorrow ft.·r yew shn 11 never come, yew shall today l.Jp th(' guest uv the lord hi executer. " An so it wuz The nt·x d~y the new king wuz awl disconsolate, lw misst:d his olt' friend Awfulflop. He thot him long an t hot him hard, then whispered in hiz page's car. "Tell the court," sez h e. Whereupon awl the court fE'll down an rolled and roared untill awl the castle roeked and shook. Thet afternoon when the new Awfulflop went out tew get on hiz horse, they brot him old king Awfulflop, stuffed an painted ropal purple, tew use as a foot stool. Nou ifn yew doan l.Jelieve THIS'N wf"ll t<·ll yew another later. Has fire ever gained such a control over your home that it seemed as if the whole :-;tructure \\'ould be consumed? I Ta,·e vott waked from a deep sleep to find that ftat;les were creeping up within the partitioncruel, crackling flames? \ras .one of vour children ever snatched from the jaws -of a riery death? If you've ever had any of these distressing experiences you can appreciate the protective work of our village firemen. Perhaps you owe it to them that yonr home and family are now intact. If you've been sick, laid up at home for repairs, feeling mighty miserable, and all out of tune with every-day living, extend your sympathy to L. ]. :M itten, formerly active in WitCheer Up mette schools and now "eat. ing, sleeping and training a dog" in Roy, Montana. He has been there several years, and it looks as if he would be there several more waiting for his health to return. And does he wish that he could get back to work? Does he? We11, it's the one thing he has to work han;l to keep liimself from doing. You·, with your day or two of illness, fret and scold because the doctor and the folks won't let you go to the office. And Mitten, way off there in Montana, is told by the doctors that he is "getting along as well as can be expected." And what hopes do they give him? "No hopes .of anything definite for a period of from WILMETT VILLAGE LIMITS Our tliah~ay.s Make Speeding D oubly ane rous The shield above, designed by village trustee, Elmer D. Becker, is the first of a series of seven to appear in this position from week .to week. These shields were exhibited at a meeting of the trustees recently and aroused so much favorable comment that their publication in WILMETTE LIFE was _d~e med timely. ................--=-nemmigog. Truly, a Maaterpiece Picture if you can--a Scot<'hma.n in front of a nkkle phone while his neighbor's house is burning. :-:-MIQUE.