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. 28 WILMETTE LIFE August 17. 1928 . W ILME·TTE LIFE . 18811.D PJUD.A Y OP ·.ACB w·zi by LLOYD BOLLI8TBa, DC. 1JSI-1JS6 Central Ave., Wilmette. Dl. Cldcaco oftlce: I ~. Kichlc&n AYe. TeL State IIJt TIIQiloae ··..·······.····..·····...··· Wllaet&e fiN . 117B8CBIPTION PBICB .............. PM A. H.A.B All communications must be accompanied by the D&me and a4drea of the writer. Articles for pubbcatlon must reach the editor by Wednellday noon to IDWre appearance In current luue. · Resolutions of condolence, cards of thanks, obituaries, notices of entertainments or other a1falnt where an admittance charge Is published, will be charged at regular advertising rates. Particularly timely and vital is the warning sounded by Superintendent of Public W.orks Schultz in his message to the villagers regarding the unfortunate practice of A Test of burning leaves on asphalt Cit1ic Pride pavements. Autumn is near at hand, bringing with it the natural tendency of the householders to dump the raked leaves into the street for burning purposes. Fire is the arch enen1y of asphalt paving, causing it to crumble, with the inevitable result that it is soon ruined by the grind of traffic. The answer to all the foregoing discussion obviously is: Do not burn leaves· or any other rubbish on asphalt streets! If you encounter instances where this practice is followed , please do your village-and yourself as a taxpayer-the favor of itnmediately notifying the police. In the July Forum is a letter written by A. M. Schlesinger of Cambridge, 1-fassachusetts, who, if we do not err, is a professor of history. one of the very perThompsonized sons whom ThompHistory son a t t a c k e d so . vigorously w h e n Superintendent l\fcAndrews was being annoyed by the Chicago school board. Mr. Schlesinger h e a d s his communication, "Minute details of a more or less illusory meeting of Mayor Thompson's committee on pure history." This con11nittee has before it for consideration the opening sentence of the "proposed new and fumigated American history for the Chicago schools." The sentence is as follows: "America was discovered in 1492 by Columbus, an Italian sailing under the Spanish flag." It is found that there are in Chicago 200,000 citizens of Italian birth and affiliations. Inasmuch as the sentence seems to belittle the achievement of their illustrious fellowman, and also since the Spanish vote in Chicago is negligible, the committee decides to drop off the last phrase, the sentence then reading, "An1erica was discovered in 1492 by Columbus, an Italian sailing." There then appear before the committee certain representatives of . Scandinavian societies who contend that the credit of discovering· America should be given to Lei£, son of Eric the Red, who reached America in 1000. The committee is in difficulties, especially because the Scandinavian vote in Chicago amounts to fully 150,())). But on the other hand 35,000 dyed' in-the-wool Americans cannot tolerate the ·idea of giving credit . of discovering America to the son of a Red. And to make the: situation ~~rse a mammoth petiti<?.n is presented by the Loyal Sons and Daughters of Italy denouncing the Scandinavian position as thoroughly un-American.· To meet all objections the' opening sentence is· revised to read: "America was discovered by a man sailing." But a group of Fighting Feminists make the claim that since Columbus wore bobbed hair he must ·have been a woman. Finally representatives from the National Association for the Promotion of Steam and Motor Transport demand that the word "sailing" be . eliminated. Mr. Schlesinger's letter may seem absurd, but to us it seems just what would happen if Mayor Thompson seriously set to work to produce the kind .of history he would like to see in the hands of Chicago school children. Fortunately the April primaries dampened his ardor for reform. Tomorrow we start for Canada. All jokes closely or even distantly related to prohibition are distinctly out of order, because the ~only time we needed alcohol was on a railfor road trip when about to Canada heat the baby's milk, and even then we used the solid sort-alcohol not n1ilk. No, we are going to Canada to experience a few days of roughing it in the wilds near some lovely strean1, perhaps, where we shall find plenty of speckled trout, perhaps. The honest truth is that \ve don't really look forward to this trip with unalloyed pleasure, being rather fond of a finn hair mattress. Our friend who invited us to go along said we might bring a pillow if we felt inclined. We do and shall. But we are sure that we shall enjoy the ride up to the Soo in our friend's fine Franklin, and know that we shall take pleasure in seeing the fun the three boys of the party will have. ;\ friend who has recently motored a bit over the line said that the roads were n9t to be boasted about even by the most patriotic. Canadian. So we're wondering · whether our car will negotiate then1 satisfactorily. However, we shall not be doing the driving, and it won't be our car. SHORE LINES' RlTURN Jn.credible, that now the year Has dragged its lot~g months through# And waiting hqs its end tonight# And tears and aching too. Eight o'clock, you said; · #tis time That once again we must Reach ottt our hands into the past,T o fir1d it gold'! Or rust'! -Simonetta Ain't Nature Grand! on The Old Plug is responsible for the story of the eminent journalist who was summoned to "cover" the Dempsey-Firpo fight a few years ago, a subject in which he (the e. j.) was in no wise conversant, and who, while looking upon the gory proceedings suddenly burst forth with a masterpiece introduced as follows: "Come words and paint me a picture." What we were going to say was that that's just about as we feel today while considering the trials and tribulations of Fil, the Filosofer, who is just now gone forth on his maiden expedition into the genuine wilds of Canada-far beyond the comforts of even a motor car and where, in travel, one alternates twixt the frail , canoe and the weary tramp through forests primeval. Oh, that we might catch just one fleeting glimpse of our Fil. Not that we feel he wouldn't measure up to the most trying of ordeals-still, we are inclined to the belief that he is paying off a wager, or, and what is more plausible-knowing Fil as we dohe's likely been reading those handsomely illusstrated tourists' guides available at our local railway stations. THE FIRST LESSON One of our prominent Winnetka merchants, only recently fallen an addict to golf, questioned a more experienced member ~f his foursome the other day after this fashion: "Bill, what do you think is the principal fault with my game." 'I dunno," came the prompt reply, "unless it's that you stand too near the ball after you hit it." we A Zephyr In hunger for more of the lovely North Shore I strolled on the beach for a while; It is idle to pooh this tnost classical Zoo! One can many an lzottr beguile. What his mind did conceive, wheJt Adam saw Eve, In her vestment of lace tatted leaf, 1 rather incline to think may ha:vc been mille, Such impressions are usually brief. · There sure cannot be a 1nore choice panacea Or haven, from surfeit or grief; Such nY'm,phs! liglzt or weight)', front. eighteen to eighty; But 0, for a more generous fig leaf. \Ve note with a mixture . of' gratulation and sytnpathy that while we are sutnmering a\Yay fron1 the heat, noise, and occasional dirt of the North Summer Shore that those we left behind are busying themselves Doings getting things ready for ·.our return. The streets and sidewalks are being put in good order. The stores are laying in extensive stocks of oranges, tomatoes, grapes, celery, and potatoes. New styles in cars are being intr?duced. The movie. houses are trying out assorted films. The children are being kept , active and educated at the san1e time by Ravinia programs. Miss Elizabeth E. Packer, dean of girls at New Trier High school, informs us that she 'vill be at her offices at the school beginning Tuesday, August 28, for the purpose of arranging consultations with prospective girl students or their parents. If you have a young girl about t,o begin her high school career, we would advise a talk with Miss Packer. Such a conference cannot fail to be of mutual value. -H. F. S. We Suspect She's Laughin' at Us This golf business is funny. Having made a wager with trim little Beth that we would escape !he water hole at Glencoe (we hadn't been doing tt) we executed a herculean drive, the ball sailing htgh over the green, and lodging in the middle of an acre or so of swamp grass-out of bounds. Lost the stroke and won a bet. Now she offers to double th~ wager that we' can't lay the pill on the green m one. · Joe Shantz, who superintended the concessions on Wilmette's annual Community Day was busy last Wednesday warding off some of the overzealous gentry w~o pl~ced their own interpretation upon the headlmes m \VILMETTE LIFE announcing Wilmette Day features: "LOTS OF GOOD STUFF AT CONCESSION EMPORIUMS" What do you think of our Herbert now? Oh yes, we've been for him since he gave way to Warren Gamaliel back In 1920. -MIQUE.