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An English lord who visited America was at dinner given in his honor. A little daughter of his but, who had given him A “300d looking at," re- marked: “And are you really and truly 'SolOmon Isaac: wasyvety ill, and the doctor, was paying him a visit. The docé torlookedvety serious-.uifhedidmt think much of Sony‘s chancel “Veil, doctor,” says Solomou, “if I’ve vegot to die, I die gontendet. My m; was in- sured for five thousand pounds.” “Well,” says the doctor, “I’m afraid you’ ve got to so; but I think, with the aid of tonics, I can keep you alive for a week longer ” "Don’t do it, doctot.” says Solomon, “dc premium come: due derday after to-morrow 1" A certain judge, owing to his quick temper, sometimes finds considerable difficulty in controlling individuals in the court. On one oconsion there was un- usual disorder. At last the judge could standit no longer. “It is impossible to nllow this persistent oontemyt of court,” exclaimed his lordship, “and I shall be forced to take the one step that will stop it!” There followed a long silence in court. Finally one of the lending boom- sel present rose, and, without the mo picion of a smile, asked: “If it please‘ your lordship,“ on whit date will 'your resignation take eflect?” "plied one of thggifls, uchly, “I should say you must have got up nthcr late I” pose,” Mk “I told you that on a cer- tain day“ I m the m the in the west. what mid you say?” "Please, sir," An English paper “139 of a member of Batliamcnt who recemly questioned a blissofmllgitlaonfiledailywse of the my in. the bums. “But, sup- “Darling,” said the M nan. “I’ll do anything in the wot“ to prove my Iove for you." “Then," rejoined thg‘ dear flirt, “please give u) smoking." “Oh, come nqw...” he “chimed, “chat"; “king George: “I can‘t get any med out of the? mom: you sold me. You told me you had been "tested :ix times in R." Harold: “So I In, old chap; torobctnmingthc WWI" hther. “you will give me away.” “I'm unit! I have done it and» my den." he "plied. "I told George only this morning that you had a disposition in! like your mother’s." lboughtfmmhfiweekzyounid you mu upturn my money if it won't udshctory." “Ya air. that 1 aid. But I nun you the money was per- fecdy satisfactory in every respect”. OLEAN 12:05..qu AND OTHER- “I have W buck the him-mover An W and a Peuimi‘t Th Mere-cc is atoll. Thad-in no. the doughnut. Th Pusimiit sees the hole. demood. We“, why don't the case to the police?" “H’m‘! ‘1’qu starving? VWell, I’m sorry. Who’s Peggy ?” Jones was fed in the face 116'. .“You mfmndermmth sir i” he shouted. “Hg?” V“Y.ou mis- understood 2” “Miss Underm, is she? Peggy, m'iu m, is Miss Under- m Wellfffll didn’t say anything about Misc Mm!” screamed Jones. “I hm your pg'rdou and you misunderstood!" “Oh, now I he!" aid the 0M mm symflihaially. “It in your Aunt Peggy who is starving Miss Un- Jones had just trod on the toe of an old gentleman while gctting aboard the tramcar “I beg your pardon !” he said. “Hey? w louder; I’m a trifle deaf. ” "I beg you pardcm!" tepeated Jones. "H’m‘! Peggy starving? VWell, I’m said._ “I have noticed it great difference between the speed of.c¢rtain kinds of sound. Thug slander travels at the rate of quite 1m yards 3 second, flattery 500 yards, while truth goes only em feet a second, and even then it often faik to reach its goal, no matter how short the distance.” and.” “All sound?” asked the; old gem Hanan with the‘white mustache. “All" replied the other. The old gendcmln smiled. “I’m sure you’re wrong,” he he conversation tumed- upon the speed at which sound traveled “Sound." said the man with the eye glasses, “travels at the rate of 4“) yards 3 sec- fuls, who were brought time 'and duly chriStelwd. AmodstoryietoldhyeNe'Zee- land clergyman. Sometineegohewu in charge of a large end scattered per ish. parts of which he visited or rare intervals in a small steam launch. Sometimes whole families of children were found to he mhrietened, end the reverend gentlemen had his hands full of clerical work of this end kindred eons. A! one visit e eettler invited the minister up to heptiee his children. but when he arrived no children could be found; they had all nu union? the bush, and the ceremony had to be postponed till next time. On his next visit the settler was in waiting on the bank. and, before the clergyman had time to land, he called out.‘Come on; I’ve got 'eni.” “Got what?” M'fhe clergyman. “Got the children," was the reply. The clergyman followed the Mler to hie home, and there, that up fiend-moons. were the WW fuls, who were trough! out one at we? You know hm than I do a... as woman's worth Fâ€"F'ron We, Nor: with. England. - hub. “No. no,” raked the "1de lit- Mr. Tumâ€"“m to you on the noble fellow who med my wife it“ lbefromoltheelectticearnttkefiak olyourlife? Tmmkmyhetoic man. u an expression of my aim rand.” Mr. Runâ€"“All m boa. m Mil. bid?” “ a,” b I”. "'3'“ “AV replied I)”, “1 0M 'MImflfikctomamlEng- lishlord, and nowâ€"“w;" “m ”I mrlnd huh- BIS] DING! PHONE . m r. semis 4mg. 84“. OFFICE morn 1m ’ DRUG STORE is the place to get ' prescriptions properly filled. THE FIRST REQUIREMENT’ ‘ THE ANTIQUE SHOP j I. P. KUNE Highland Park, Ill. « are aimye satidactory. All the "Cm , Things” [or Fall are now in Suck- Pingmmade‘ Shoes NW to draw custom is an aura can'thaveanatuncfiwmuyoum oflauickeningheat. luau-y wanw-mism attractive of bus' You have an attractive We if you uae I do]. Imellyligh fin thrown sickening heat. ELECTRIC LIGHT u Doec‘ nan to make a attractive} undkecpitlotlnnfine butane" you how maps we “mgwm lightyouruore. e attractive $WNT ”@353", . E. PIERSON