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%f* # \ i s j n * |-s^ '•t^r •• . •v»r '• r> . #W. ,'; ; ./--•%')•/ % •£$?* f?jl: v^,r v,A* <> ,,c Jst*. :^:> ^ *§* • k^'; • l i , e * »TV fe-'-•&!;} • i#,' ;f v * %%* The Kitchen Cabinet PMMMW - «A. 1IM W«at*ra N»w>d»dw Union.) . ,/. To know what you prefer. Instead of v hUmbly saying amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, Is to have left your soul alive.--R. I* Stevenson. * S U M M E R B R E A K F A S T S . warm weather breakfast will be lichter, of less food value, but sufficiently sustaining to keep Machinery working. Unless a person Is working at hard labor a breakfast of fruit, a dish of cereal, an egg with toast or a bit of bacon with a cupful of coffee or cocoa or a glass of milk Is a satisfying meal. The cereal may be one that has been previously cooked and to serve it put it through a ricer, with cream and sugar. In a morning when the weather permits serve this beet of waffles: Waffles.--Take one and one-quarter cupful of sifted flour, one half teaspoonful each of soda and salt, one cupful of thick sour milk, the yolks of two eggs and the whites beaten stiff. Sift the dry ingredients, add the egg yolk with the milk and stir in after the mixture has been well beaten three tabiespoonfuls of melted butter. Fold in the egg whites and bake on a hot waffle iron. Serve with cold maple sirup. If the hot sirup la used It destroys the crlspness which Is the charm" of a waffle. Southern Eggs.--Butter small ramekins and half fill with hot boiled rice. Slip a raw egg in each, season with salt and pepper, butter, grated cheese and a little chopped boiled ham. Set tbe dishes into hot water and cook In a moderate oven until the eggs aro set. ® Salmon Salad.--Take a can of salmon, add equal measures of chopped celery, a few olives finely minced, a sour pickle chopped, ana one-half cupful of fresh grated coconut. If the fresh is not obtainable soak In a little sweet milk until soft. Serve on lettuce with a plain boiled dressing. Madras Beef.--Slice two small onions, one apple and a stalk or two of celery very -fine, cook In hot butter, sprinkle a tablespoonful of curry DISASTER COMES WITH RAlM Algerian Native Houses Are Bultl to Afford Shelter Only From the Sun's Rays. Ita Algeria one of the perplexing bib* Ileal puzzles of my chilVQgpod waa set at rest, writes Temple Manning in the Chicago Journal. Until I went there I had never been able to figure out exactly what was meant by the passage In the Bible that reads: "How can we make bricks, for we have no more straw?" But when I saw the Algerians make bricks by incasing short straws In the mud of the fields, patting the bricks Into shape, and doing them In the sun, the mystery was explained. And then one day when it rained I wondered why they ever did it. Fortunately it seldom ra'lns In Algeria, but that day it rained as -1 never saw it pain before or since. The very heavens seemed to open and the celestial reservoir to empty Itself within a few hours. A veritable river gathered in the streets and ran from house to house throughout tbe little village, and every once in a while I heard through the darkness-of noonday a dull splash. The next morning I waded through the village to see what had happened, and I found whole families camping out on the highest ground, for their houses had melted away. Rain comes so seldom that the natives do not include It in their scheme of life; they build their houses for the sunny days. And when the rain comes their mudbrick houses, unless strongly whitewashed, and they seldom are, fall down and tnelt into mud heaps. Then the whole family goes camping until the house is rebuilt. "Tu cha Allah 1" smiles the serene owner-ir*!!, is the will of God." . 1 ' ARTICLE NOW SELDOM SEEN But Many Decades Ago the "Antimacaaaar" Was a Part of Every Weil-Regulated Home. Did you ever come i across tbe word "antimacassar?" If you are from New England yon surely have met it, for New England is its home. The word means "an ornamental covering thrown over chairs, sofas, etc., to prevent their being soiled by the hair." Its derivation dates back to the romance of the days when American clipper ships ranged all over the seven seas anf their bywaters. The hardy skippers of those days used to bring home a substance propowder over the dish, add the juice of j duce(5 on the lsland of Celebes, In the half a lemon and turn In a few elfces of rare roast beef cyt very thin with a cupful of roast beef gravy. Simmer 20 minutes and serve with hot seasoned rice/ IV I T.-r."* vC'lf ; jfcvery occupation lifts Itself with the enlarging life of him who practices It. The occupation that will not do that DO man really has a rlgfit to occupy Kbnaelf about. MtPTOVERS AND OTHER THINGS. A most tasty salad may be prepared from a cupful or two of mashed potato, using a little of the heart of head lettuce to mix with it, a little < hopped onion and encumber with a salad dressing. Let stand an hour or two to season, and serve in the curled leaf of head lettuce. Liver Croquettes.--To a pound of chopped liver, parboiled and then chopped, add one small onion minced; salt and pepper to sea eastern archipelago, named macassar oil, from the place where it was 'obtained. There was a belief In those days that this oil tended to retard or prevent baldness. So it was used in plentiful quantities by beaux and near-beaux. But the oil worked havoc with the parts of chairs and sofas whereon the aforesaid beaux reposed their fthiney heads. So the New England housewives, as a preventive, devised the antimacassar (see tbe Latin "antl," against). Thrifty ladies, weren't they--and neat beyond cavil!--Chicago Journal. Drink Plenty 9t Water. Are you taking at least eight glasses of water a day? It is food and medicine! It ts more necessary to drink at least this amount than to comb your hair or wash your face. If our bodies did not have an enormous capacity for taking punishment the terrible perils we daily subject ourselves to if we do not drink enough son. Take two tabiespoonfuls of flour ! wa*er wou'd be understood by every and milk to form a thin batter; stir man' woman an(1 child. I# in the chopped liver and drop by spoonfuls Into a hot greased spider. Brown quickly on both sides. An egg may be abided to the batter which imprqves the patties. Creole Dish.--Take two cupfuls of cooked rice, a cupful of boiied or broiled ham chopped;, season with salt, cayenne and a tablespoonful of sugar; put into a buttered pan, cover with cracker crumbs and bake until brown in the oven. All bits of ham, whether boiled^ baked or otherwise cooked should be saved, for a tablespoonful of minced bam will add just the appetizing touch to a dish which will make it out of the Ordinary. Bigos.--Take sausage meat or pork, chicken or In fact any leftover chopped meat; add to sauerkraut and cook in the oven for two or three 't £ hours. This may be warmed up and Will be good as long as it lasts. ; Hungarian Potato Soup.--Cut four i i or five good sized potatoes into small cubes, and put to cook In one quart of broth. Out fine four good sized onions and fry lightly in three tabiespoonfuls "of butter, add one tablespoonful of paprika and three table- / r ' spoonfuls of flour; stir and mix well; , r i'/ then add one pint of strained tomato, | rather thick; let simmer one-half .! * hour then add the potato cubes with f the broth. Add one cupful of cream ' ^ and season well Just before serving. | • 8weetbread Cream Soup.--Parboil 1 , one pair of sweetbreads, remove tbe j fe skin and cut them In quarter-Inch j .. cubes, fry in two tabiespoonfuls of butter, sprinkle with two tablespoon- ' fan of flour, stir and mix well, then j add two quarts of veal broth. Simmer for thirty minutes, season with salt ! and grated nutmeg; before serving add one cupful of cream beaten, with tfce yolks of four eggs. , , Chopped meat of any kind added to looked mush makes a most nourishdish when fried, after cutting in i ; . y -- s l i c e s . ' rjfte Conjunction of Planets In 1919. V The extraordinary grouping of the Solar system the morning of December £, 1919, which some prognostlcators d gone so far as to predict would result In the world coming to an end, . was an alignment in the heavens of Jsplter, Saturn and NeptiiML It .can be figured out, mathematically almost, that the lungs give off what amounts t» more than .two glasses of water a day. The skin gives off that much, or a good deal more, while the kidneys are subject to all sorts df Irritations, followed by disease, when the fluids of the body are too heavy with the wastes and breakdown from every one of the billions of body cells. Copious waten drinking dilutes these Wastes.--Chicago Tribune. lv- Iowa' Town May Become Another VENUS MnH WITHOUT VEIL They Had One, Too. Five*]Kar-old Mary Ellen likes the hospital in their square because when she goes over to visit the nurses they always take her around to see the new babies there. But recently her visits have been fewer than usual as her next-door neighbor has a small incubator which- has been hatching fluffy chickens. Interestedly Mary j EUen has been watching him take them from the incubator. J But a few days back Mary Ellen I went to the hospital and Into the • kitchen where they were placing a new style Ice box. For a little while ; she looked at it and then she said to , one of the workmen, "They always i showed me the babies, but I never | did see tbe Incubator before.' dlanapolls News. A few weeks ago Bernard Smith, a farmer living one mile southeast of Graettinger, £a., was digging a hole to set S guy wire through a layer of from 6 to 8 inches of dark-colored gravel. He could see the glistening of mica and was positive the layer contained gold. He rushed some of the gravel to Des Moines and Chicago, and the essay report showfed that the gravel will run $26.92 per ton, $21.50 being In gold. Since then fhere hft« been/a great rush of gold hunters to Graettinger, and the place promises to become another Klondike. The illustration shows the main street,of tjtietown and, at tbe right, Smith at the hole wipers.lie ^tound the ^ in if I I' I » • 'j*' ' ' yjljiiilliii^LjMw^i^lliiil i i I ill III of Begging and Insulting People Have Lost Every Sense of Dignity and Their Whole Character, French Journalist Says--Country Has Come |§ Look Upon Help From Abroad as Matter of Coursi * *>. rT - ' Tracing Movement of Birds. The dealre to learn what become of birds that flew south with the approach of cold weather led Audubon, the great American naturalist, to place silver threads about the legs of a brood of phoebes. The following spring he was rewarded by having two of the birds return to nest near the haunts where they learned to fly. This occurred early in the Nineteenth century, and was the first known case In America of bird banding. Since that time this means of securing information on the movepeuts and life history of migratory birds has been used by many societies, and every fall thousands of birds fly south bearing a narrow ring, stamped with a number, about one of its New York.--An interesting picture of conditions in Austria is given in the following article written for the New York Herald by W. John Lenglet, a French journalist attached to the Japanese military mission in Vienna After having been a year In Austria, I have come to the conclusion that the country specializes in the art of begging and insulting. These two faults combined have been brought to such a height that the people have lost every sense of dignity and their whole character. This Is specially clear to the foreigner who stays a good deal lp Vtehaa. The foreigner who merely passes through brings nothing back but a remembrance of more or less gay evenings and of fantastic figures of worthless currency; but he who has to live there and take part In the everyday life of Vienna, especially if he take the trouble to look deeply Into the heart of things, is certainly convinced that side by side with a certain misery In the lower middle classes and privations among the upper classes, there exists among the new rich--"schiebers"-- an indifference to all the Interests of Austria which is hardly believable. ^ The "schleber" may be the middle man of business transactions, or even the business man quite simply. The schleber" is also the "bucket shop keeper," who speculates illegally In exchange, who leads the freihandel (free commerce), and it Is he who piles up bundles of bank notes, a single one of which he will not spend unless it bring him the equivalent in pleasures or goods. The interest of his country? He laughs at it as at a splendid joke--the starving children can be looked after by foreigners. He can eat white bread and he does so without scruple. He can drink champagne at 3,000 crowns a bottle. He provides his wife with magnificent furs and precious Jewels. He knows no duty but that of spending the money, which he has gained by exploiting his countrymen in pleasures and luxuries. He is the unmoral being who has sprung from the Austrian soil since misery spread over the land. The Valute All Important. When the little bourgeois or shopkeeper smells the foreigner, he Immediately sizes up his "Valute." You are treated In accordance with the value of your national currency and the shopman tries to convince you that If he charges you three times as much as Austrians are charged he is still rendering you a great service: "Was macht das denn In Ihre Valute?" (What does it matter compared to the value of your money?) This becomes as familiar as the greeting you get when you go Into a shop. If you are good natured you will simply accept this as part of tbe business. Worse things exist, for the Austrian has brought the art of begging to such a pitch that he has made the whole world believe in him, and the whole world--England and the United States at the head--allows Itself to be fooled! Committees have been formed--Austria has been helped on every side-- her children have been sent to every country to be nourished and cared for; and when they come back from these countries, dressed In new clothes and Improved morally and physically, their parents say: After all, It is not much . . . you see, the clothes are not chic; the stuff Is not of the best quality, and the food, well, they do not trouble much about food over there." However, when one of their children comes back, they do their best to send another over to the same conditions . . that means another less to bother about! The man who lives in Vienna and reads advertisements la the English papers about starving Vienna cannot y f : W"-,m vV ^ Won't Miss It. - A woman may have an engagement jfith you and keep you waiting several fpiwrs, but If If* a train you are going take she'll make sure to get you to Gold In the Yukon. The report of the minister of the Interior states that In the Yukon territory there are. large areas of goldbearing gravel that could be profitably worked under more favorable conditions. They will be worked when food" WW* labor are cheaper. Otw on' Uttele tiff*. Ella--Who la this B PluMbus Unum? Father--I don't know, but I don't like these men who part their names in the middle. help pitying the naivete of the people In England and other countries who send money for the children who are supposed to be dying in the streets. These advertisements are only a speculation on the good faith of the public; and the public who subscribe are r'obbqd twice over; first of their confidence; secondly, of their money. I do not suggest that the committees who Insert these advertisements are not acting in good faith, but that they are themselves victims to the exploitations of the Austrians and journalists in Austrian pay, who are determined to get as much sympathy for Austria and as much money as possible out of the foreigner. At (me time the Austrian was In need, of material help. This help was given him so generously thi^ expects it to go on forever. Mulcted by DriveraJ'^v' What do some guilders, francs, dollars or pounds matter to the foreigner? "Na, ja, aber mit thren Valuten!" (Well, with the value of their money) . . . and as the value of outside money is better than Austrian currency, why should not the foreigner help Austria? At least that is how the Austrian reasons. He never asks himself who created this situation in his land. In all classes you meet the same phenomenon. For instance, If you take a taxi, when you . arrive at your door the driver asks you smilingly, for twice the amount you ought to pay. If you protest, he says "But, sir, what does it matter with the value of your money ?V So far he is very polite; but if you maintain your refusal, and you only pay the amount registered on the taximeter, with a certain tip--let us say 10 per cent-- showers of abuse follow you into your house. At a restaurant the head waiter ia very cringing when you give your orders. At the end of the meal, how* ever, when you ask for your bill, he starts by making mistakes--to his own advantage, of course, which by chance, you may find out and have the bill changed. Then you give him 10 per cent as a tip. The head waiter goes away and sends you the service waiter. Another tip required. Thinking yourself very generous, you withdraw from the table when you suddenly hear the "buttons" exclaim: "Damned Frenchie (or any other nationality, which this future head waiter considers you), not a single • heller for a tip!** I must except the large restaurants, the btaffs of which have been employed before the war in other countries. .These are satisfied with 10 per cent on the bill. However, one cannot gp continually to the big restaurants with the present high prices. You are treated in the same way by the shopkeeper and other people, who have put themselves Into public service. The method is only varied according to the education they possess. In short, the foreigner In Austria must allow himself to be bled from every vein If he wishes to live In peace. 8ince the note of the French government, in the name of all the allied governments, threatening to withdraw all help from Austria In the event of her uniting with Germany, the hatred felt by the rescued for their rescuers rises to the surface. Every conversation between an Austrian and a foreigner is full of underlying bitterness. The conversations which the Austrians hold among themselves In public places, regardless of the strangers within their midst, are full of unimaginable insults. Their hatred does not extend only to the allies, but there even exists resentment against their beneficiaries, the neutrals. The Impenetrabli fMiolope m Planet aift Afl&'Sle of Anything Beneath. What makes the planet Venus So sliver-bright? Many a one has put this question to himself, and must have been unable to find a satisfactory answer, London Answers states. But the answer is that we see the silver lining of the cloud-maslt which covers the features of Venus, for, as dazzling as this planet appears to us, it is enveloped In somber clouds never seem to break and afford us a glimpse of what is below. At least there is no real proof that the markings which have been seen are on the planet's surface at alL Slow-moving cloud misses would be liable to be very deceptive and might well be mistaken for something more solid. The persistency of Venus' vast cloud-envelope is remarkable; It is present year in jwd year out, reflecting the sunlight with mirrorlike briljllancy. How Venus would appear without it Is hard to say, as we have no knowledge whatever of the real composition of her globe. All that can be said with any certainty is that she would lose a large share of her radiant beauty If this light-reflecting shell«of clouds were removed. She might look like Mars or Uke Mercury, and would certainly fail to bewitch mankind as she does now. The true secret of her peerless beauty, therefore, is her veil of clouds. Dutch and Scandinavians have earned a lot of money. The South Amerllans are rich. And all this shows that they should come to the help of Austria. The Austrians think that only fair. They .do not expect otherwise. With the allies, especially those of the entente, It is quite another matter. The entente had dared to refuse the credits requested? What a pity its prisoners were not allowed to starve during the war! The entente does not want us to Join Germany? Well, we shall do so without Its permission. The time will come when we will ally with Germany to fight* the entente. That is the reasoning of the German- Austrian, who the pre-war German declared was just good enough to black the boots of the German army. I have experienced moments during which the Austrian absence of char-" acter has been made clearly obvious. I returned In the company of my wife and one of her friends one evening from Baden, a little mountainous place, where one goes for week ends. As my companions were English we talked English. The tramcar, capable of carrying about forty passengers, presently filled up. Once on the way a man standing up, a typical German, started a propaganda against foreigners, arid pointing to us\ designated us as English or Americans. He mixed himself up In our conversation. He Insulted us offensively in German. The whole compartment, consisting of all sorts and conditions of travelers, supported this man. Vulgar coarseness succeeded to the Insults and jokes. Everything and all were passed In review, the allied governments and their ^chiefs, even President Wilson was not forgotten. In fact, he was spoken of most of all because these people took me for aQ American. Then they went on to more personal matters--ourselves, our clothes, everything was analyzed and ridiculed. The most revolting things were said by the best-dressed men, and women Joined In with degraded delight. The tram conductor laughed. I pretended not to understand. The only thing to do with these brutes. I even heard somebody make a suggestion to throw us out of tbe tram at the next stopping place. The starving children of Austria ex> 1st mostly In the imagination of those who earn an easy living by begging. As a matter of fact, one does not see more slckly-looklng children In Vienna than In any other large town. If help were given to the children of the poor, of the unemployed, of the demobilized soldiers without means of subsistence In England, America and France such charity would be put to a far better use. Waste of Coal and Light. In order to save coal, France Mid England ordered the dancing saloons and theaters to be closed earlier in the evening. Austria did nothing of the kind. Everything was Illuminated a la giorno till midnight. It did not matter If her subjects paid 8 kronen a kilogram for coal and her factories were obliged to stop work for lack of coal. While in most lands one does one's best to produce, the slightest incident here creates a strike. People take the most futile pretext to have an extra day of rest--ahd all the same they have the courage to complain! Nobody deprives himself of pleasure. One is prepared to do without anything except enjoyment It Is not true that the people who go' out in the evenings are all foreigners. Listen to the languages spoken In the dancing saloons and cafes. Viennese- German and pure German predominate. Look a* the lines outside the theaters where German plays are being produced. Austrians certainly form the majority of the frequenters. Look also at the rows of taxis around the football field oh Sundays, when two local clubs meet. I have seen more than 500 of thetn. It Is not the foreigner who pays 2.000 kronen or more to drive to the place where the gaps goes on. SAVAGE CHILD IS TRAINED Balur GHrle, From Their Earliest Infancy, Are Taught Household Duties by Their Mothers. Most of those who know little of savage find semi-savage peoples naturally suppbse that the children are allowed to "run wild" with no thought given to their training. This is far from vthe truth, particularly among some of the tribes of Togoland, on the African west coast. As soon as a girl baby Is able to toddle--and they are taught to walk much earlier than our children--the training of the girl is begun. She is given a calabash, and taught to balance It upoa her head. Then the calabash is filled with water. Thus she learns her first duty In usefulness. From this time forth the child becomes a part of (he tribal or village organization. She goes with her mother to the river when the women go there for water. She Is taught to sweep out the hut with a broom. Out in the forest Qhe goes with mother and there learns what herbs and wild vegetables are good for food and which should be avoided. At home she Is taught how to prepare the food the family eats. In a word, from her very earliest days the child is taught how to perform the domestic and other duties the average native woman must perform.--Temple Manning In the Cleveland Plain Dealer. „ Hope for the Middle Aged, ••Biere is no need to grew old and stiff." This is Sir James Can tile's message to the man or woman whose muscles appear to be losing their earlier resilience. It was delivered at a demonstration of Swedish gymnastics at the Albert hall in London. Sif James presided and after watching the graceful movements of the athletic young people of both sexes said he hoped they would continue their exercises even when they were no longer young in years. "Some of us," he added, "who are watching should be in the arena doing what these young ones are doing. Their muscles are not hard and inflexible. Ours probably are." Sir James added that 80 per cent of the people of the world were Imperfect. One leg was shorter than the other by perhaps the eighth of an Inch or a two hundredth part of an inch. It was abnormal to be normaL UNCLE SAM GOES "SEALING" Exgects to Get 30,000 Prlbilof Pelta W:: liftiBummer Drive Th's ' V-'- / Seattle, Wash.--Sealskin coats--as many as cai\ be made from about 80,- 000 skins--will be the objective this summer in the government's drive on Its seal preserves on the Pribllof Islands, which lie in the| Bering sea, off Alaska. Slaughter of tbe Pribllof seals b4- gan this year in June and will continue through the summer months. It was announced here recently. Last year 28,000 seals were taken and this year it is hoped to get 90,000. Recently the U. 8. S. Saturn of the Navy department's transport service arrived here to load supplies for the annual summer campaign on the islands. The Saturn is taking to the Pribllofs eight expert furriers from a St. Louis firm which acts as the selling agent for tbe government. , Hi 8teals Baby's Bathtub. iC Chicago.--The "meanest thief" is being sought by the Marquette police. He Invaded the rear porch of the home of Henry Rumph, 2040 Fluornoy street, and stole a small metal bathtub used by Mrs. Rumph In bathing her daughter Florence, two years old More than 25 per cent of die tei tile factories in Spain have close down for an Indefinite period. Ti balance are working on a three-d*vweek basis. Quality Before Quantity. Mere bigness, after all, is never a sound criterion of value. Art con-' noisseurs know this. l%ey will pay more tor a tiny painting by Vlbert than for huge canvases by painter* inferior to Vlbert in ideas--and in vision. To think qualitatively is, and alwaya^ has been, a fundamental human need. It will always be. Not how much we possess, how much we produce, how much we export or Import, but the quality of all our doing and feeling and believing--that is the thing. The wealthiest of nations can at tbe same time be the most discontented, restless and unhappy. "More, more, more," la never the slogan of true success. Think quality, not quantity, is the dictate of truth to all of us.--H. Addington Brace In the Cfeicaco Dally Newt. Tired of Household Devotions. BL P. Benson, son of tbe late archbishop of Canterbury, In a reminiscent record of his family life, tells that the Benson children grew rather weary of the rigors of devotion established in the household of the archbishop and, when the latter was absent, of Mrs. Benson, mother of the brood, saylpg: "We won't have prayers tonight for 9 treatJ" *•; VOICE QF JtEFORI|, "*rfit?re was qMte a lively 'discussion at a meeting of the master barber* j yesterday." "What about?" "The suggestion was made that j publications exploiting pugilists and J chorus girls should be banished from all first class tonsorial parlors.'* "Was the motion carried?" "No. Some of the master barbers I contended that their clients had not been educated up to that polg£ yet, ] so the motion was lost." _ Good Taate. Young Lady--"Who's that tall, dls-l tinguished-looklng man standing by| the fireplace?" ' Dowager--"My nephew. Lives in thel country all the year round. Never! Cafaes to London if he can help it." Young Lady--"Oh, but you mustl Introduce me to him. I simply adore| savages."--Punch. GOT HIS ORDERS "Why has Rcggy shaved off his| mustache f" "Got a new girl, I believe, and making some alterations to suit her Mom." " • , \ Out. of Date. "8p«ftk gently" says the proveMi eld-- | Its potency has flown; If nowadays your own jrOa'd held Employ a megaphone. Led by Coneclence. "What first led you to go into polj tics?" "My conscience,'* replied Senat Sorghum. "As a young man I bad high an opinion of my abilities that thought it would be an unpardonabl| lack of patriotism if I neglected give my country the benefit of m| services." > Cured. TU flat you $10 for contempt court," "All right, your honor. TO pay but it's a lucky thing for me that yc don't know what I'm thinking." TU just add another $10 fOr th^ remark." "Your honor, my mind is now a feet blank." Sad Disappointment. "So you consider Jack mlsleadii and disappointing. Why, dear?" •'Weil, be had me on the tenterhoo^ last night in expectation that he going to ask me to go to the theateij "And didn't he?" "No, he only asked mo to mar him." - I GOOD IDEA "That old fellow has Just III atalled a dictaphone In his office." "Why's that?" "He says all hie atenographer were so pretty, he couldnt keep. mind on hie business. " M _ /. The Brighter Dav^,/'^ A little time with sorrowlt Bat In her darkest nlgpt We dream of a toromro'* ; Unutterably bright! Ooi a' Source of Style. "YWbt Ipeeches do not display the accuracy of grammatical form which used to distinguish them." Tve been afraid something like that would happen," replied Senator Sorghum "I have been obliged to depend ea a brand-new stenographer^ , f t. * Good Intention. * "Are you and your husband regular attendants at church?". "I don't know whether we could claim to be such," replied Mr. Chuggins. "We start for church every Sunday morning, but whether we arrive or net depends on the momentary mood of the family flivver." Leaves Us Gueeeing. '• Bthel--"Was Jack put out when you told him he couldn't have a kiss?" Betty--"Oh, no l He took It as a mattar of course." > Setting the Face. Ted--Tom has sold his race and Invested in a car. Ned--He said he wanted Spmet that had a little speed. # r • Nothing to II ^- ^ •Til have to fine you for "But, squire, we came to you to married and we have only $10 for; "You weren't speeding. You have gone twice as fast and mH i speeding." A Slacker. Mrs. Hoyle--If all men were my husband there wouldn't be labor troubles. Mrs. Doyle--What's the ma*4 doesn't he work? , Heard In Court. - Judge--You say the prisoaer IS] Insane, and yet he Is not In his mind? How is that? Witness--Lots of people, your who are not Insane are wrong-! about everything. Affectionate Pair. Husband--Of course, ntf have my faults-- Wife--I should have to have keen vision to detect your virtues| "But, my dear, you can find with your eyes shut." T • •W