Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 27 Apr 1922, p. 2

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Ciyi i IgHt kr Mwin Balmw ALAN CONRAD. STNOPSia--"Wealthy and highly placed in the Chicago business world, Benjamin Corvet is something of a recluse and a mystery to his associates. After a stormy Interview with his partner, Henry Spearman, Corvet seeks Constance SherriH. daughter of his other business partner, Lawrence Sherrlll. She admits Spearman has asked her to marry him and that she hasn't given him an answer. Corvet--" Uncle Benny"--makes her promise not to give an answer "t'li I come back." Corvet is much agitated and acts strangely. Then he disappears. Sherrlll learns that 0»rvet has written to Alan Conrad to Blue Rapids, Kan., summoning htm to Chicago. Kone of Corvcfs associates have aver heard of Alan Conrad. •& Ws CHAPTER II • . * It Alan ConfwfT ' recipient of the letter which iln Corvet had written and iter so excitedly attempted to recover, was asking himself a question was almost the same as the $uestion which Constance Sherrill had %sked. He was, the second morning $ater, waiting for the first of the two flally eastbound trains which stopped :ht the little Kansas town of Blue fiaptds which he called home. As long u he could look back Into his life, Dm question, who Is this person they "call Alan Conrad, and what am I to the man who writes from Chicago, had Jbeen the paramount enigma of exlst- ',-fience for him. Since he was now twenty-three, as nearly as he had been •able to approximate It, and as distinct •Virecollection of isolated, extraordinary events went back to the time when he was five, It was quite eighteen years since he had first noticed the question , put to the people who had him In charge: "So this Is little Alan Conrad. Who Is he?" Following the arrival of certain » letters, which were distinguished from 1' most others arriving at the house by having no Ink writing on the envelope but Just a sort of purple or black • printing like newspapers, Alan Invariably received a dollar to spend * Just as he liked. To be sure, unless "papa" took him to town, there was nothing for him to spend It upon; so, V likely enough, It went Into the square Iron bank, of which the key was lost; but quite often lie did spend It according to plans agreed upon among all his friends and, in memory of these occasions and in anticipation of the next. "Alan's dollar" became a community Institution among the children. :;|1 ' "Who gives It to you, Alan?" was a question more often asked, as time went on. The only answer Alaq could V**. give r,-fts, "It comes from Chicago." „: Ilie post-mark on the envelope, Alan noticed, was always Chicago; that all he ever could find out about dollar. He was about ten years old when, for a reason as Inexplicable as the dollar's coming, the letters with the typewritten addresses aad the enclosed money ceased. Except for the loss of the dollar at tfee end of every second month--a loss •HICFA discussed by all the children 4Bd not accepted as permanent till more than two years had passed-- Alan felt no immediate results from the cessation of the letters from Chicago. Papa and mama felt them when the farm had to be given up, and the family moved to the town, and papa went to work la the woolen mill beside the river. Papa and mama, at first surprised and dismayed by the stopping of the letters, still clung to the hope of the familiar, typewriter-addressed envelope appearing again; but when, after two years, no more money came, resentment which had been steadily growing against the person who had sent the money began to turn against Alac.; and his "parents" told w»» all they knew about him. In 1896 they had noticed an adver tisement for persons to care for a child; they had answered it to the office of the newspaper which printed tt In response to the letter a man called upon them and, after seeing them and going around to see their friends, had made arrangements with them to take a boy of three, who was la good health and came of good people. He paid in advance board for a year and agreed to send a certain amount every two months after that time. The man brought the boy; whom he called Alan Conrad, and left him. For seven years the money agreed upon came; now It had ceased, and papa had no way of finding the man--the name given by him appeared to be fictitious, and he had left no address except "general delivery, Chicago"-- Papa knew nothing more than that. He had advertised In the Chicago papers after the money stopped coming, and he had communicated with every one named Conrad in or near Chicago, but he had learned nothing. Thus, at the age of thirteen, Alan definitely knew that what he already had guessed--the fact that he belonged somewhere else than in the Uttie brown house--was all that any one there could tell him; and the knowledge gave persistence to many Internal questionings. Where did he bStong? Who was he? Who was the m*n who had brought him there? Had the money ceased coming because the person who sent It was dead? In that case, connection of Alan with the place where he belonged was per goanently broken. Or would some other communication from that source reach I him some time--if Hot money, then something else? Would he be sent for tome day? ygrtftmally, Alan's learning the little was known about himself made Im> change in his way of living; he to tb« town school, which com- U' tt pv blned grammar and high schools under one roof; and, as he grew older, he clerked in one of the town stores during vacations and In the evenings. Alan always carried his money home as part payment of those arrears which had mounted up against him since the letters ceased coming. At seventeen, having finished high school, he was clerking officially In Merrill's general store, when the next letter came.* It was addressed this time not to papa, but to Alan Conrad. He seized it, tore it open, and a bank draft for fifteen hundred dollars fell out. There was no. letter with the enclosure, no word of communication; Just the draft to the order of Alan Conrad, Alan wrote the Chicago bank by which the draft had been issued; their reply showed that the draft had been purchased with currency, so there was.no record of the Identity of the person vc&o had sent It. More than that amount was due for arrears for the seven years during which no money was sent, even when the total which Alan had earned was deducted. So Alan merely endorsed the draft over to "father"; and that fall Jim, Alan's foster brother, went to college. But, when Jim discovered that it not only was possible but planned at the university for a boy to work his way through, Alan went also. Four wonderful years followed. In companionship with educated people; Ideas and manners came to him which he could not have acquired at home; athletics straightened and added bearing to his muscular, well-formed body; bis pleasant, strong young face acquired self-reliance and self-control. Life became filled with possibilities for himself which It had never held before. But on his day of graduation he had put away the enterprises he had planned ftnd the dreams he dreamed and, conscious that his debt to father and mother still remained unpaid, he had returned to care for them; for father's health had failed and Jim, who had opened a law office in Kansas City, could do nothing to help. No more money had followed the draft from Chicago and thei-e had been no communication of any kind; but the receipt of so considerable a sum had revived and intensified all Alan's speculations about himself. The vague expectation of his childhood that sometime, In some way, he would be "sent for"; had grown during the last six years to a definite belief. And cow--on the afternoon before-- the summons had come. This time, as he tore open the envelope. he saw that beside a check, there was writing within--an uneven and nervous-looking J>ut plainly legible communication In longhand. The letter made no explanation. It told him, rather than asked him, to come to Chicago, gave minute instructions for the Journey, and advised him to telegraph when he started. The check was for a hundred dollars to pay his expenses. Check and letter were signed by a name completely strange to him. He was a distinctly attractive looking lad, as he stood now on the station platform of the little town, while the eastbound train rumbled in, and he fingered in his pocket the letter from Chicago. On the train he took the letter from his pocket and for the dozenth time reread It. Was Covert a relative? Was he the man who had sent the remit tances when Alan was a little boy, and the one who later had sent the fifteen hundred dollars? Or was he merely a go-between, perhaps a lawyer? There was no letterhead to give aid in these speculations. The ad dress to which Alan was to come was in Astor street. He had never heard the name of the street before. Was It a business street, Corvet's address In some great office building, perhaps? At Chicago Alan, following the porter with his sultcaqe from the car, Btepped down among the crowds hurrying to and from the trains. He was not confused, he was only in tensely excited. Acting In implicit accord with the Instructions of the letter, which he knew by heart, he went to the uniformed attendant and engaged a taxlcab--Itself no small experience there would be no one at the station to meet him, the letter had said. He gave the Astor street address and got Into the cab. It had begun to snow heavily. For few blocks the taxlcab drove north past more or less ordinary buildings, then turned east on a broad boulevard where tall tile and brick and stone structures towered till their roofs were hidden in the snowfall. A strange stir and tingle, quite distinct from the excitement of the arrival at the station, pricked In Alan's veins, and hastily he dropped the window to his right and gazed out. The lake, as he had known since his geography days, lay to the east of Chicago; therefore that told out there beyond the park was the lake or, at least, the harbor. A different air seemed to come from it; bounds ... Suddenly It all was shut off; the taxlcab, swerving a little, was dashing between business blocks; a row of buildings I had risen again upon the right; they broke abruptly to show him a woodenwalied chasm In which flowed the' river full of Ice with a tug dropping Us smokestack as it cut below the bridge which the cab crossed; buildings on both sides again; then, to the right, a roaring, heaving crashing expanse. The sound, Alan knew, had been I coming to him as an undertone for many minutes ; now It overwhelmed, swallowed all other sound. II was great, not loud; all sound which Alan had heard before; except the •Soughing of the wind over his prairies, came from * one point; even the monstrous city murmur was centered In comparison with this. Over the Uk«, as over x the land, the soft snowfiakes lazily floated down, scarcely stirred by the slightest breeze; that roar was the voice of the water, that awful power Its own. Alan choked and gasped for breath, his pulses pounding in his throat; he had snatched off his hat and, leaning out of the window sucked the lake air In his lungs. There had been nothing to make him expect this overwhelming crush of feeling. The lake--he had thought of It, of course, as a great body of water, an Interesting sight for a prairie boy to see; that was all. No physical experience In all his memory had affected him like this; and it was without warning; the strange thing that had stirred within h!m as the car brought him to the Drive down-town was strengthened now a thousand-fold; It amazed, halffrightened, half dizzied him. Now. as the motor suddenly swung around a corner and shut the sight, of the lake from him, Alan sat back breathless. The car swerved to the east curb about the middle of the block and came to a stop. The house before which it had halted was a large stone house of quiet, good design; it was some generation older, apparently, than the houses on. each side of tt, which were brick and terra cotta of recent fashionable architecture; Alan only glanced at them long enough to get that impression before he opened the cab door and got out; but as the cab drove away, he stood beside his suitcase looking up at the old house which bore the number given In Benjamin Corvet's letter,.then around at the other houses and back to that again. The neighborhood obviously precluded the probability of Corvet's being merely a lawyer--a go-between. He must'" be some relative; the question ever present In Alan's thought since the receipt of the letter, but held in abeyance, as to the possibility and nearness of Corvet's relation to him, took sharper and more exact form now than he had dared to let It take before. Was his relationship to Corvet, perhaps, the closest of all relationships? Was Corvet his . . . father? He checked the question within himself, for the time had passed for mere speculation upon it now. Alan was trembling excitedly; for--whoever Corvet might be--the enigma of Alan's existence was going to be answered when be had entered that house. He was going to know who he was. All the possibilities, the responsibilities, the attachments, the opportunities, perhaps, of that person whom he was--but whom, as yet, he did not know--were before him. He went up the steps and, with Angers excitedly unsteady, he pushed the bell beside the door. The door opened almost instantly-- so quickly after the ring, Indeed, that Alan, with leaping throb of his heart, knew that some one must have been awaiting him. But the door opened only half way, and the man who stood within, gazing out at Alan questioning! y, was obviously a servant. What Is it?" he asked, as Alan stood looking at him and past him to the narrow section of darkened hall which was in sight. Alan put his hand over the letter in his pocket.- "I've come to see Mr. Corvet," be said--"Mr. Benjamin Corvet." "What is your name?" Alan gave his name; the man repeated it after him, In the manner of trained servant, quite without Inflection. Alan, not familiar with such tones, waited uncertainly. Ho far as Alan put down his.suitcase on the stone porch; the man made no move to pick it up and bring it in. Then Alan stepped into the hall face to face with the girl who had come from the big room on the right. She was quite a young girl--not over twenty-one or twenty-two, Alan Judged; like girls brought up In wealthy families, she seemed to Alan to have gained young womanhood In far greater degree in some respects than the girls he knew, while, at the same time, In other ways, she retained more than they some characteristics of a child. Her slender figure had a woman's assurance and grace; her soft brown hair was dressed like a woman's; her gray eyes had the opan directness of the girl. Her face-- smoothly oval, with straight brows and a skin so delicate tlmt at the temples the veins showed dimly bluewas at once womanly and youthful; and there was something altogether likable and simple about her, as she studied Alan now. She was slightly pale, he noticed, and there were lines of strain and trouble about her eyes. I am Constance Sherrlll," she announced. Her tone implied quite evidently that she expected him to have some knowledge of her, and she seemed surprised to* see that her name did not mean more to him. « Mr. Corvet Is not herd this morning;" she said. He hesitated, but persisted: "I was to see him here today, Miss Sherrlll. He wrote me, and I telegraphed him I would be here to-day." 'I know," she answered. "We hn«l your telegram. Mr. Corvet was not here when It came, so my father opened it." Her voice broke oddly and he studied her In Indecision, won dering who that father might be that opened Mr. Corvet's telegrams. j 'Mr. Corvet went away very sud- j denly," she explained. She seemed, he thought, to be trying to make southing plain to him which might be : shock to him; yet herself to be un certain what the nature of that shock might be. Her look was scrutinizing, questioning, anxious, but not unfriendly. "After he had written you and something else had happened-- think--to alarm my father abouf him, father came here to his house to look after him. He thought something might have . . .* happened to Mr. Corvet here In his house. But Mr. Corvet was not here." "You mean he has--disappeared?" "Yes; he has disappeared." Alan gazed at her dizzily. Benjamin Corvet--whoever he might be-- had disappeared; he had gone. Did any one else, then, know about Alan Conrad? 'No one has seen Mr. Corvet," she said, "since the day he wrote to you. We knew that--that he became se disturbed after doing that--writing to you--that we thought you must bring with you Information of him." "Information!" "So we have been waiting for you to come here and tell us what you know about him or--or your coonectlon with him." or to the to»u«fo mm coat, m lowed Codstaaca put some gmk'nm npon his right to a smaller one farther down the hall. "Will you frail here, pleaseT she asked. He sat down, and she left him; when her footsteps had died away, and be could hear no other sounds except the occasional soft tread of MMtto servant, he twisted himself about In his chair and looked around. Who were these Sherrlll s? Who was Corvet, and what was his relation to the Sherrllls? What, beyond all, was their and Corvet's relation to Alan Conrad-- to himself? The shock and confusion he had felt at the nature of his reception in Corvet's house, and the strangeness of his transition from his little Kansas town to a place and people such as this, had prevented him from inquiring directly from Constance Sherrlll as to that; and, on her part, she had assumed, plainly, that he already knew and need not be told. He straightened and looked about, then got up, as Constance Sherrill came back Into the room. "Father Is not here Just now," she said. "We weren't sure from your telegram exactly at what hour you would arrive, and that was why I waited at Mr. Corvet's to be sure we wouldn't miss you. I have telephoned father, and he's coming home at once." She hesitated an Instant in the doorway, then turned to go out again. "Miss Sherrlll--" he said. She halted. "Yes." ; * "You told me you had beenwalttng for me to come and explain my conkt oman Must ^ghfla., fa.^"When I tttffaOfuQmp th Km Chuf* of Life i wis two years hri was haidly able to " y^sada advisedEM I am I CHAPTER lit ,4<^ v * fefteussion of a Shad** Alan, as he looked confusedly and blankly at her, made no attempt to answer the question she had asked, or to explain. His silence and confusion, he knew, must seem to Con stance Sherrill unwillingness to answer her; for she did not suspect that be was unable to answer her. "You would rather explain to father than to me," she decided. He hesitated. What he wanted how was time to think, to learn who she was and who her father was, and to adjust himself to this strange reversal of his expectations^ •'Yes; I would rather do that," he said. She caught up her fur collar and muff from a chair and spoke a word to the servant. As she went out on to the porch, he followed her and stooped to pick .up his suitcase. "Simmons will bring that," she said, "unless you'd rather have it with you. It Is only a short walk." They turned in at the entrance of a Vi do Imatp i's Vegetable ia.f~.wtt got good TMOlto from H aad am Hour able to do myhonsswwfr moat of the time. I ttteamusod to those who &»•• i I do not tike fmbHctar, tmt if it will help other women 1 will be glad for you to vm my letter. "--Mrs. Fakms RoamoTKiK, 883 N. Holly St" Phila,, Pa. ^ * Ds trait. Michigan-- "Dnrimr the Chance o* lifelSdalotrfsSnaeh trouble and was bothered a great deal with hot flashes. Sometimes I was notable to do any work at elL I read fcboct Lydla STflEJcham's Vegetable Gompoond your little bods and flashes or waves of ache, fliiiinsss cation. Another eomesat recall names, dates or pound in took it with wr good resulis. Ikoep house aad am able now to do all my own work, I recommend your medicine aad am willing for yoa to publish my testimonial. "--Mrs. J. 3. Uvbhnoib, 2061 Junction Avenue, Detroit, Mich. LycUn B. Ptnkham's Private Text-Book npon "AOmmll to Women** will be sent yon free upon request. Write to the Lydia IS. Pinkham Medietas Oo* Lynn, Uasaschtuetti This book contain* valuable inform*" l TUsis liable to make a woman confidence hi hmdf. She b»> nefvoas. avoids meeting rs and dreads to go outakaa. Lyffla K Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Is especially adapted to help women at this time, it ex«*» dses a restorative influence, tanas and strengthens the system, and tesiste nature in the loegweeks %od months covering this period. Let It help carry yoa through thte time of Ufa. It is a splendid medicine tor the middle-aged woman. It is prepared from medicinal roots «»<i hnrhs --Mi contains no harmful drags at m*» co tics. DOJTT unr THAT COUGH OOmOIOBt Spohn's Distemper Compound will knock It In very ahort tint*. At the flrat alga of a. cough or ootd la your horae, give a few doaea of "SPOHN'S." It wilt act on the viands, eliminate the diaeaae germ and prevent farther deetmotion of body bv dleeaae. "SPOHN'S" haa heea the standard remedy tor DWTSMFKR, IN#LCBNZA, PINK BTB. CATARRHAL rBVBH. COUGHS and COLDS tor a quarter ot a Mntanr. On eale at all drug etoree in two ilH*. arOHN MEDICAL COMPANY flOSBKN, INDIANA i W£4 Sent Home to Die of Diabetes and Gail States He was too weak for an operation. A friend told him of our S. & B. Compound, and after taking the medicine brained a pound a day. He is now attending his i ia only one of the hundreds of cases who address of cases like th send self addressed stamped envelope. ri business every day in Chicagou benefited by S. & B. If names and addreas the above are desired-- a. A B. MANUFACTURING CXK, Stl IS N. Clark St^ Chksto, BL| Alan Qased at Her Dizzily--Benjamin Corvet-- nection with Mr. Corve# Well--I can't do that; that is what I came here hoping to find out" She came back toward him slowly. "What do you mean?" She asked. He fought down and controlled resolutely the excitement In his voice, as he told her rapidly the little he knpw about himself. He could not tell definitely how she was affected by what he said. She flushed slightly, following her first start of surprise after he had begun to speak; when he had finished, he saw that she was a little pale. "Then you don't know anything about Mr. Corvet at all," she said. nNo; until I got his letter sending for me here, I'd never seen or heard his name.** She was thoughtful for a moment "Thank you for telling me," she said. Til tell my father when he comes." "Your father Is--?" he ventured. She understood now that the name of Sherrill had meant nothing to him. "Father is Mr. Corvet's closest friend, and his business partner as well," she explained. \ He thought she was going to tell him something more about them; but she seemed to decide to leave that for her father to do. She crossed to the big chair beside the grate and seated herself. As she sat looking at him, hands clasped beneath her chin, and her elbows resting on the arm of the chair, there was speculation and interest in her gaze; but she did not ask him anything more about himself. Inspiration for National Flag? The original troop standard presented to the First City troop of Philadelphia by Captain Markoe, In 1775, and now preserved In Its armory, Is the earliest example of the thirteen stripes being used in an American banner, an<\ is acknowledged by flag historians to possess the best claim to having been the inspiration for the national flag. The First City troop Is the oldest organization in the United States that has maintained a continuous active military existence and taken part In every war In which volunteerdbavalry has served.--Detroit News. Kind Word for Old Garments. I love old garments; they are tried friends, companions of tolUand struggle. When I take my old walking stick and plant this venerable gear on my bead. It seems to me that we covenant together to say in the face of a volatile and capricious world: We stand our ground! With this old mantle about my shoulders, I feel invested with fidelity and constant attachment to what Is enduring. Do not filch It from me on the pretext of charity; where Is the poor man who .has ever refused a new garment? Let him have It; for my part, I prefer the old.-- Charles Wagner, In "By the Fireside." "I've brought you," be said evenly, "tfc» buy - to your hoaae." (TO BE CONTINUED.) appoaocoooooiCiocoaocgxK^gooogoaocroaoaQ)^^ JAPS ARE FAR FROM STOLID On the Train He Took the Letter From Hie Pocket and for the Dozenth Time Reread It, he could tell, the name wa» entirely strange to the servant, atvakenlng neither welcome nor opposition, but indifference. The man stepped back, but not in such a manner as to Invite Alan In; on the contrary, he half closed the door as he stepped back, leaving It open only an Inch or two; but It was enough so that Alan heard hi|n say to some one within: *'He says he's him." "Ask him in; I will speak.to him." It was a girl's voice--this second one, a voice such as Alan never had beard before. It was low and soft but quite clear and distinct, with youthful, impulsive modulations and the manner of aecent which Alan knew must go with, the sort of people wfio lived In houses like those on this street. The servant, obeying the voice, returned and opened wide the door." "Will you come in. slrf Writer Declares Orientals Have AtjUined Self-Control, but They Are Fond of Jokes. Among the misconceptions In regard to the Japanese Is the belief held by many foreigners that they are a stolid {People. One might search the dictionary and not find an adjective less applicable to them, They have, It Is true, attained a self-control that deceives superficial observers, but under this restraint Is all the fire and motion and effervescence of the Latin races or the Celts. One expression of this volatile and effervescing spirit is a quick wit and a keen humor. A very slight acquaintance with Japanese art will reveal this quality expressed Id many forms--in designs for fabrics, lacquer work, fans, carvings, bronzes, screens and kakemono, and last, but by no means least, in many of their delightful illustrated books. Comic pictorial work probably goes back in Japan to the first Immature sketches of her earliest artists, and if the greater part of this work has been iost In the serious religious art that followed, there are still fragments that indicate the humor which animated even the men of the Yamato-ryu. Among these early examples are some drawings discovered a few years ago on the pedestal of one cf the carved wooden figures tat the Nara The work belongs to the Tempyo period (Eighth century) and wa# found when repairs necessitated the removal ot the figure from its base. Slight as the drawings are, having been dashed off In a moment of walt> lng, perhaps, by some old artist priest --the technic In them Is by no means crude or primitive.--Scrlbner'a Ma^ asine. mi£' Weakness of Our Social "Them city people," grumbled old Riley Rezzldew of Petunia, "don't care enough about a person to even look at him In passing, let alone take any Interest In who he Is or where he comes from, or ask what he 'lows the weath* er will be tomorrow, or even stop and size him up and say, 'Howdy! 'Pears like I've seen you some'rs,' and In that way gradually work around to finding out what his name Is--they actually don't want to know what hip name Is! And If they accidentally find It out they never take the trouble to Inquire if he Is any kin to So-and- So. They Just nacher'lv don't give hoot wherther he Is or not!"--Kansas City Star. Lowe: An ocean of emotion entirely surrounded by expenses. Th* ancient Efjptlans wkok coffee of C0*», V ^ * -V* , Playing Cards at iChristmas. In olden times it was a custom to play cards at Christmas, and during the festive season ladies would travel some distance in order to "take a hand" with a friend. There are records which offer numerous examples of this custom, and relate how they went equipped with money for the chances of the game. Card-playing was the subject of special legislation. An act of the time of Henry VII, against unlawful games, forbade the working classes from playing cards except at Christmas. In many a lordly mansion cards and dice games were played for money during the "12 days of Christmas," and at no other seasonof the year. Get Out and Get Busy. The man who Indulges In self-pity is a defeated man before the fight begins. There Is no exercise of the human mind that Is so debilitating, so fatal to heroic resolution, as that of nourishing the feeling that one has an Impossible job, and Is of all men most miserable. Have you a hard duty to perform? Perform it with resolution, and get It done, and encourage your soul with the glow of triumph. Who promised you an easy life? And who but a coward and a weakling cares for an easy life? Put on a smoke consumer and get out and get busy in the sunlight.--Exchange. Out. "I can truly say, madam," began the! educated-looking prisoner, "that I shall' "VI actually regret the day my sentence! expires and I leave these walls." "Ah," breathed the sympathetic vis-l itor, "I had heard this was a model! prison, but I never dreamed that itj Instilled such gratitude and depth of' feeling in its inmates. And how much longer does your sentence run, my poor man?" "Life, madam." -- American iLcSftN?1 Weekly. V- - ' 1 • •"--*c Why Complain! Those Impatient people Who com- ^ plain about late trains on Amerlcanl railroads will probably settle Into anl amazed silence and speak no morel about such paltry matters when It isi stated that, according to dispatches, . . the Tashkent express to Moscow gayly puffed into Its home station 21 days late recently. Russia has overturned k many Illusions, but this beats them all. ^ One hesitated to ask for statistics on messenger boys. -- Christian Science Monitor. ...... . Puzzling. . A gentleman of foreign birth, ro* r cently In Indianapolis, was telling a party of friends some of the difficul- ' ties encountered in mastering our lan-?4 guage. "Now, for instance,w said he, "you - ' say b-o-u-g-h spells bough. Then • > c-o-u-g-h spells cough. According to \ the pronunciation given bough, If I'y-- should have a severe cold, would I ; say I had a cough In my cheatJ'^, •*-:}. • ' How Was She to Know. ir/. !' A woman who does not play iSrHl . had been invited, through courtesy, to s, an "afternoon." Sh^ fluttered from • r bridge table to bridge table, chatting pleasantly with the players, until she » > came to one group where two part- . ' • ners had just completed a game aflil series. • "V "Rubber !H cried one of the part- < ners triumphantly. And the woman who does not«plftF cards left In a huff. Reporters are always Influenced by their knowledge that hardly ever Is anything exactly as It's told. •m i i i ' m m f. If men had the brains they think > they have their legs wouldn't bo strong enough to carry them. One can't very well boast of his own honors; but he can rut up somebody else to doing It. Most of the fun' we have In Isn't the kind we are looking for. Woman is the fairest creature «» ' •' earth--also the unfatrsat -• spmn EARNING! Say "Bayer" when you buy Unless you see the name "Bayer" on tablets, you m : not getting genuine Aspirin prescribed by physician 9Y£r 22 years and proved safe l?y millions for , : Colds '.^.||Uieumatisal NeuralgH Lumbago Headai Tootha Earache Accept only "Bayer" package which contains proper direction^ Handy "Bayer" baxas of 12 tablets--Also bottlM of 24 and 100--DraggM* , Neuritis fata, Pain|K Slit' i '££ &

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