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THE M'HENRY PLAIN DEALER Pnblished every Thursday at McHenry, HL, by Charles F. Renichj. Entered as second-class matter at the poetoffice at McHenry, Ill.Tun- «kf the act of May 8, 1879. Subscription Rates One Year Six Month! ...$2,00 It! • • • .11.00 A. H. MOSHER, Editor and Manager If tbe world's a stage. It to no tonf # a peep show. The best way to climb higher to to remain on the level. The old-fashioned divided skirt WW It called balloon trousers. -Itmust be terrible to be a girl and have Chilblains on the knees. . roe fellow who blew his oWn horn was a bore even before the saxophone. Loafing, In England, is called unem* ployment, and the people get paid for It These days the woman wlt\tbe gun shoots sq straight, she rarely4 misses a man. , Probably the most 'futile thing In the world to say Is this: "Bat don't tell anybody." How fine to get on the open road, where one Isn't shut in by buildings, but only by billboards. ! Financially speaking, the,wages of sin generally have t» be turned over to the defense attorneys. Some people make rules to live by and then change them from time to time to meet emergencies. Statistics show that 92 times eat of a hundred the bird who says "Why worry?" means "Why think?" The wise little boy*who doesn't believe In Santa Claus grows up Into a man who believes in politicians. I: I guess yer all plannin', as likely as not, on planting some seeds in the spring; on pickin' a pfece fer a nice garden spot, and dream in' of what it will bring. A fella gets thinkin* round this time of year of radishes, lettuce and spuds. The call of the spade and the rake he kin hear, an' he pictures himself in old duds. He reads lots of catalogs over and through, and is joined in the task by his wife. He knows there are plenty of things he must do, but he'll have quite the time of his life. The sun will beat down, and the heat waves may burn, but he'll plug just as long as he's able. He'll know there's a whole lot of earth he must turn so's to grbw some real food#fer the table. Just think of the thrill that is comin' to you, when you've planted a whole flock of seeds. As sure as yer living, some sprouts will come thru an' about ninety per cent will be weeds. WEEKLY EXCHANGE ITEMS OP INTEREST TAKEN FROM COLUMNS OF OUR EXCHANGES The trouble with folks who blow their own horn Is that they mistake amiable tolerance for'an encore. Then we have that other type of youth who thinks that in order to be a man he must first be a ruffian. Disappointment in love wrecks many a maiden's life, bat most of them are willing to be given the heir. Science enables us to "sail In tbe elements," but It sometimes falls to tell as how to get back to earth again. A man In London has been fined 10 shillings for whistling for a taU. Then bow does a Londoner locate his dog? , A young woman asks a lovelorn department editor, "Do clothes count?" They count,, but not much beyend Ivor er five. Another season has opened on Broadway with three or four new argamenta for formaldehyde in the drama. A tramp applied at the grounds of a circus for a job. He was informed that he could become a lion tamer, j H^ard" were awarded the pavement and all he had to do was to walk into contract for that city at a public let_ Assortment of News Items In Condensed Form For Busy People Three mature female foxes and three pairs of fox pups were stolen at the Crystal Lake Fur Farm some time ~>n Monday night of last week. The theft was discovered on Tuesday afternoon of last week when the keeper noticed that the food he had placed outside the nests that morning toad not been eaten. The foxes are (he silver black breed and are very Valuable. The animals%are registertd and it is possible to trace them if Jhey are sold. Lake county farmers, who at their ©wa expense have been slaughtering cows and establishing disease free herds so that they might sell milk in Chicago, were dealt a severe blow recently bj^the state department of agriculture. The attorney general hesitates in giving a decision that farmers who voluntarily destroy their own herds, may later recover indemnity from the state. Increased wages for all trainmen on the North Shore line will be asked by a committee representing the employees when they meet with officials of the road within a, few days to agree on wage contracts. The present contract between the company and employees expires on May 1. A meeting of trainmen was held at Highwood recently when tentative wage schedules were discussed at length. William Geisla, twenty-one, of Chicago, a farm hand on the Charles Mc- Guire farm, five miles north of Woodstock, was instantly killed at 10 o'clock on Sunday morning of last week when he was struck by the Minneapolis- Chicago limited passenger train of the Northwestern railroad near Hartland. Milburn Brothers, public contractors of Rockford and builders of a stretch of highway concrete entering the cage and make the lions eat out of his hand. He was told that the whole secret was in making the lions believe he wasn't afraid of them. "No," said the tramp, "I don't think I will take the job. I could not be so deceitful." It Is estimated that crime Is costing this country 910,000,000,000 a' year. It pomes high, but of coarse we most have It Tbe newest song hit is entitled "I Miss My Swiss," apparently written by a gentleman who had Just hocked tils watch. A pretty good come-back tP use oa the traffic officer Is on* that Is delivered about six blocks from the traffic officer. Place: Any Hat Store. Customer: I'd like to get a nice straw for about two fifty. Clerk: So would I. I'd clean up. Cust.: What is it you said? I'm a trifle deaf. Clerk: We've got just the thing you want. Try this one. Cust.: I don't think I look very good in thi# one. Clerk: Don't blame the hat. The only thing that would look good on that face is a mask. Cust.: What's that? Clerk: I think it makes you look just like Thomas Meighan from the back. Cust.: Do you really think so? Clerk: Yeah, he always needs a hair cut, too. Cust.: I don't think I like it anyhow. Clerk: Well, take your time, you're the one they're going to laugh at. (Lapse of three hours and fiftyfour minutes, during which the customer tries on three hundred and seventy- five hats.) Cust: I think I like this felt best They're not wearing so many straws any more, and--well, I'll be darned if this isn't my old hat. (A shot rings out. The policeman who rushes in after a few hoars finds the clerk looking down at the corpse. Uncle Sam has Just taken a game census. It Is probable that mah-Jaagg wasn't included, because that to be extinct It Is said only \ thousand can dance Properly, and if it la V. - Isn't a Charleston. one person in a ths Charlottes too proper It In ease one is absent-mlndtd aad wears a two-pants suit there Is virtually nothing to be done about it bat bay two sets of keys. A scientific paper says that life anything bat a safe bet after foit Well, you ought to be thankful If tt> reckless auto lata let you live that long. ting held recently by the board of improvements, the meeting taking plr/e at the Saunders Palace theatre building. The municipal improvement proi jfcet will cost a total of $124,000.50, which represents the Milburn bbid. The annual typing and shorthand contest which has formerly taken place at Woodstock 'is to be held at Crystal Lake this year, oh May 1. There will probably be ten schools represented in the district, namely, Des Plaines, Dundee, Crystal Lake, McHenry, Woodstock, Harvard, Huntley, Marengo, Palatine and Hebron. Frank Eiklor of Genoa was painfully injured on Tuesday morning ol last week by a chip of steel which cut through his eye lid and necessitated taking a stitch in the eye ball. H'e was removed to the Glidden hospital t)eKalb, and is resting as easily as can be expected. Actual construction on the proposed million dollar theatre to be erected on the site of the old Y. M. C. A. building at Genesee and Clayton streets, Waukegan, will not begin until July, it has been predicted by those in the charge of the project. It will take two months to prepare for the start of the erection of the big structure. The Great States Theatres, Inc., a unit of the Balaban of Katz company of Chicago, which will operate the new million dollar theatre has also leased the Academy theatre in Waukegan. Walter Spoor, manager of the Academy, who has acted as manager of the Academy since its establishment, will retire. Purchase of the Sherwood farm of 155 acres Seated near Lake Villa by a Waukegan syndicate formed of J. A. Miller, Joseph Meyer and William E. Herr, was recently announced. The tract which is considered one of the finest farms in that section of the country was sold for a consideration of more than $60,000. The land will probably be subdivided. It is located on the shores of Cedar Lake and is especially adapted for home and resort building purposes. One valuable milk cow Was killed outright and five others) ;were injured, three probably fatally, when a Fox River Valley Cream company truck ploughed into a herd of cattle on the Algonquin hill just north of Algonquin recently. The herd of twenty-two cattle, owned by Jajnes A. Lowe, of Algonquiij, second vice-president of the United Milk Fkoducers' Association, was being driven from the farm to the railway station in Algonquin for shipment and sale in Chicago. By chalking up twenty consecutive buUseyes for a perfect score of 200, Cadet Captain Leland Butterfield of the Waukegan township high school has tied with two other youths in different parts of the United States for national champion in the National Hearst Trophy match. One of the boys who tied this remarkable score is from the Crane Technical college^ of Chicago and the other is from the Union high school of Phoienix, Ariz. The summer home of the late Mayor Fred Busse, of Chicago, at Fox Lake, has been sold and will be subdivided into summer home sites. It is planned to make the estate one of the finest subdivisions of its kind in the Chicago region. It fronts on the Antioch-Fox lake paved road, and between Ingleside and Lake Villa. The Lehmann estate is on the north of this forty acre subdivision. The unearthing of five skeletons, by a basement digger at Lake Zurich last Friday, has given that village much food for thought. The graves are located on the lot on which H. Prehn is to build. The skeletons were buried from three and one-half to five feet in depth, but all graves were close together. The oldest residents are of the opinion that the graves are those of Indians, for it has never been a burial ground of record. JOHNSBURO The new garage of Joseph H. Thurmann is just completed and is one of the most modern in this par^, of the country. Visitors and potrons of the garage may rest assured of receiving courtesy and the best of service, ---i Mr. Thurmann will now also put up a beautiful new and modern bungalow Mr. and Mrs. George Frett and little son visited with his mother, Mrs. John M. Frett, Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Bay Horick of Woodstock visited with the latter's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Stephen H. Smith. Mr. and Mrs. Joe Miller and children of Richmond were Sunday visitors in the home of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph King. Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Adams of Barrington and little sons, Gene and Jan^es, were Saturday callers with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. C. M. Adams. Mr. and Mrs. Stephen King visited Sunday in the home of Mr. and Mrs. Joe King and family. Mr. and Mrs. Martin B. Smith and children from McHenry were Sunday guests at the home of the latter's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Peter Williams. Mr.and Mrs. Math Rauen of Spring Grove visited in the home of John H. Freund, Sunday. Rev. William Weber spent Thursday in Chicago. Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Adams and little sons, Oren {and Vane, from Woodstock, called at the home of his parents, Mr. and Mrs. C. M. Adams. Mr. and Mrs. John Rauen from Spring Grove called at the home of the latter's parents, Mr. and Mrs. John H. Frenud, Sunday. Mr. and- Mrs. Henry Thelen were McHenry callers Friday afternoon. Mrs. Joseph Thelen and Mrs. Joseph Michels were Thursday afternoon callers at the, home of her raughter, Mr. and Mrs. William Smith, and family. Mr. and Mrs. Fred Thurmann of Mc- 'Henry visited in the home of his brother, Joseph H. Thurman and family. Mr. and Mrs. Peter Oeffling visited in the home of the latter's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Joseph J. Michels last Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. George Michels were Chicago visitors last Saturday. Mr. and Mrs. John Pitzen were McHenry callers last l^day. Miss Helen Smith visited in the home of her sister, Mrs. Ray-Horick, a'j Woodstock. Mr. and Mrs. Math J. Miller visited in the home of Jacob Miller, Sunday. Mr. and Mite. William Oeffling visited with Mr. and Mrs. George Oeffling Friday. Mr. and Mrs. Peter Schaefer from McHenry called the home of Mr. and Mrs. Ben J. Schaefer, Sunday. Whatever you need, try first to get it at Erickson's Dept. Store, West McHenry. Dry Goods, groceries shoes, etc. pilled Near Hartland The fourth fatal accident in the last two months between Woodstock and Harvard on the Chicago & Northwestern railroad occurred Tuesday morning shortly before 9 o'clock, when a fast passenger train rammed into a Ford truck at McCauley's crossing just west of Hartla*"! station, killing one and injuring another. Herman J. Rasch, Jr., 17 years old, a member of the Heaven City colony located a few miles west of Hartlanc station, is dead and Frederick Moore 11 year old son of A. J. Moore, col ony head, has a broken leg and othei serious injuries as the result of the terrible crish. -<p Ddrkee Is Chairman Harvey G. Duikee, supervisor from Alden township, was elected chairman it the county board on Tuesday, to succeed Supervisor Ackman. Mr. Durkee has Seen a member for twelve veipa*. Callinan-Kuppe - Charles A. Kuppe, Woodstock'sJfpoptlar young expressman, and well nown in McHenr:/, was married in -hica^o Jast Saturday morning to Miss Marion Callinan, also of Woodstock. The bride is a sister to Mrs. Say McGee of McHenry. Mr. and Mrs. McGee were in attendince at the ceremony. Special Care Has been taken to purchase our Spring and early Summer Merchandise/ to secure the utmost in quality and in style. Our line of Pumps and Oxfords was neveV socpmplete or stylish. , ' We have patent leather with blonde trim in comfort, military and French heels, in^ladies and growing girls sizes, at -- --$4, $5, $6 and $7 Our line of gray and blonde pumps with neat trimmings, new shape, priced at $5 to $8 Tan and black oxfords and pumps and Mary Adams comfort shoes at --$4 to $6 50 Mens and boys oxfords, in tan and black, new shapes and lasts at $4 00 to $7 Mens and boys work shoes, good strudy quality, flexible and easy, at $2 50 to $5 Mens and youths shirts, collars and neckwear. A large line at popular prices. . Our line of Spring Dress Goods is very complete in silks, Rayons, crepes, voiles, broadcloths, etc. All leading shades and color combinations, priced at 504 Ufp to $4 per yard. x Ladies srilty underwear, silk [Hosiery, silk and fabric Gloves, in all leading colors at popular prices. P. N. Practical Front Corsets, in topless and medium, all sizes from 20 to 40 at $5 to $3 Rubber reducing Corsets specially priced at $5' $0 Our Grocery Department is full of good things to eat. We handle only quality foods. Try our tea and coffee. H. J. WALSH GOODS dfeLIVERED PHONK 117* C. D. of A. Bunco P<«ty The Catholic Daughters of America held a social meeting at the K. C. hall Friday evening. After a short business meeting, bunco was played. Mrs. Peter Schaeffer won first prize,! ^ and consolation went to Mrs. Itfac. Sutton. Miss MHdred Klein donated a very pretty towel _which wap then raffled off. It was won by Mrs. Fred Schoewer. Light refreshments -»ej;e served. A new nonstop Bible-reading record has been established. Wonder why somebody doesn't Introduce nonstop contests In practicing mere of its precepts? The kindergarden teacher asked one of her pupils what the eyes were for, and was promptly answered, "To see with." Another was asked what the nose was for, and the answer was correctly given. Then she asked the little daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Paul Watts, "What are your ears for?" The child replied, "To keep clean She got a 100 mark. After the motor accident the unfortunate victim was carried into a house nearby. A few minutes later a smartly dressed young man ran up the steps and rang the bell. "Excuse me," he said to the maid who opened the door, "Can I see the gentleman who was brought in here a few minutes ago?" "I'm afraid not," replied the girl, "he hasn't come to his senses yet.'" "Good!" said the other, "that'll suit me fine. I want to sell him another car." QUALITY PLUS SAVING Shinner's Packing Plant OPPOSITE G. & N. W. DEPOH .i«3 | Are you going to iTT build a new home? RICHMOND, ILLINOIS P ¥ Another point that Isn't entirely dsnr Is whether the unidentified genius who writes blurbs for book jackets also collects royalties en his fiction. Woman may be rapidly lng herself, but as yet she basnt succeeded In establishing the custom of killing fatted calves for prodigal daughters. Chicago's dalm to being the center of the greatest rose-growing district In the world Is not very vlgoroudy prised when prevailing winds are the south. Fable: Although he was a popular author he was never revealed In his photographs with a pipe In his mouth, and the facial expression of a Stricken spaniel. A strong man can lift three pianos, but Gladys lifted her dainty frock on the street t'other day, got on the auto bus and held up traffic for five minutes. It was rumored that Riff Swanson, detective, had water on the brain, in winter it froze, and everything slipped^ is mind. The census figures Showing that there are 400,000,000 hens in the country gives us au Idea of how the omelet situation could be relieved If the ***** only would apply themselves. Luther Burbank has created a new type of sweet corn and now varieties 01 the aster and rose. We ain't lain what he creates. When Is going to destroy tfcs earn* and 2 If all smokers in the world were gathered in one place, there wouldn't be a match in the crowd by night. Thermometer for Fishermen The wise fisherman of the future will test the temperature of the water In which he casts his lines. The biological board of Canada, after an extensive survey, has found that had dock and cod especially are very particular about temperature, says Popular Science Monthly. The cod will not stay where the water Is freezing, and for him 50 degrees Is unbearably hot. Between 40 and 46 degrees Is about right, and If fishermen will fish where such temperature prevails It Is claimed they can scoop cod up wholesale. Haddock prefer water about five degrees warmer. The board urges fishermen to use deep-sea thermometers and not waste time where there are no y» Buy Direct Save Half Special Bargains SATURDAY, MAY 1 PICNIC HAMS, sugar cured, per lb. 214 SMftKED SKINNED HAMS, per lb. ; 28c PURE LARD, in 30 lb. tubs, per lb. 16*4 DRY SUGAR CURED BACON, per lb. ; 274 SMALL LEAN PORK LOINS, per lb. 294 PORK SHOULDER ROAST, per lb. 184 BONELESS SIRLOIN BUTTS, per lb. 174 PURE PORK SAUSAGE, 5 lb. fc(fh 854 5 lb. BOLOGNA and 5 lb FRANKFORTS* 10 lb. box $1.75 DRY SALT PORK, per lb. w . 224 Rounds, Chucks, Brick Cheese, Pimento Cheese, American Club Chees* BRING YOUR POULTRY, EGGS AND VEAL TO US, WE PAY CASH PHONE 103 E. G. Shinner & Co. I Incorporated Whether it be large or small; of course you'd like a tile roof on your house. But you think you can't afford it. , That's where you are mistaken. Tile roofs do not cost as they did in the past. Hawthorne Roofing Tile is much lower priced than other tile of inferior quality. Hawthorne Tile is everlasting and fireproof. It commands the lowest fire insurance rates. ^ Hawthorne Tile fartfool in summer and warm in winter, thereby saving fuel. Whatever the size of your new home, you will find a very decided economy in a Hawthorne Tile Roof Let us show you how a roof of this kind will greatly increase the valff of your house at a small cost. We have the exclusive agency for McHenry, Spring Grove, Johnsburg, Volo, Pistakee Bay, I1#*Use, Long Lake and Round Lake. WE TOOK THIS AGENCY BECAUSE IT CONFORMS TO OUft SLOGAN, "WE BUILD--BETTER" | Matthews-Tonyan Co. f Phone 642-J-2 « McHenry, Illinois •J V