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Get HU CMt flf tbe most abeurd In tbe English language It ^•t Ilia gout," whlcl; Is understood t^: annoy, Irritate, or make one .Wild." The origin oA this phrase if eeeeotlally the same as that of the vtrfe "to kid" and tbe other form "kidding." A goat frolicking about la an absurd flgbt 'Y>on't play the giddy goat" la an old expression for •"•Don't make a silly fooi of yourself." "To kid" la "to make a fool ot" sine* - kids are really more foolish acting creatures than their parents, the (pats. When one ia eminently saclissful in kidding another ha la said to "get his ?oat" Chicken Feed We make our own POULTRY SCRATOfit AND MASH Both excellent feeds and prices moderate. Try a Sack Today Mdlenrj Fleur Mills West McHenry ,|lll. I'm getting' alone with a bit of a song and a bit of a smile for my neighbor. I've managed to grin with the little I win day by day as the bit of my labor. Time was in the past, I stood often aghast as the storms of despair swept around me, but my ship although small, bravely weathered them all and nothing IVe dreaded had downed me. I've not had the luck which some others have struck, I've neither been famous nor wealthy, but I've always had meat, when I wanted to eat. and I thank the good Lord I've always been healthy. Some things I have missed on the millionaire's list, but the friends I have made have been true ones: I have always had suits, shirts, and neckties and boots though I can't afford many new ones. I'm getting along, just as one of the throng, day by day I have worked for my money, but in spite of the care and the burdens I bear I've had had some of life's nectar and honey. My house isn't large, but love has it in charge and in peace and contentment I dwell there, and all men I defy, to be happier than I when a friend puts his hand to the bell there. I'm getting along with a bit of a song for I've learned what I knew not at twenty, that enough for each day, with a bit put away for the cares of my old age is plenty. I have eaten and slept, and at times I have wept, I have done all that the Lord lets a man do; I've made friends on the way, and I venture to say that is all the richest man can do. Smith opened a bank account for his wife. A few months afterwards one of the cashiers of the bank, met _ „ Smith and said: "Would you please MONEY TO LOAN ON FARMS AT i ^ejj y0Ur wjfe that her account is LOWEST RATES. Give number of acres, value, and amount of loan desired. Our examiner makes your territory. „ 7% GOLD MORTGAGE BONDS of Midwest Farms Syndicate of Kewanee for sale. A very safe and profitable • investment. Write for information. SAVINGS BANK OP KEWANEE Kewanee, Illinois C. W. KLONTZ, M. D. Physician and Sturgeon (Also treating all diseases of |he Eye, Sir, Nose and Throat and doing Refraction) Office Honrs--8 to 9 a. m., 2 to 4 an 7 to 8 p. m. Sundays by Appointmei Office at Residence, Waukegan Roa-. Phone 181 McHenry, 111. WM. M. CARROLL Lawyer Ofiec with Kent & Company. Every Wednesday Phone S McHeary, Dl. telephone No. 108-R. Stoffel & Reihansperger Insurance agents for all classes of property in the best companies. WEST McHENRY, ILLINOIS | J. W. WORTH PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT Audits Systems Income and Inheritance Tax Matters Member of PuMic Accountants Association -- of Illinois Phone 206-J McHenry, 111. Phone 128-^T. Reasonable Rates A. H. SCHAEFER Draying McHENRY, ILLINOIS cBefore you buyan eledric refrigerator by all means SeC fhe UNIVERSAL COOLER SEE Universal Cooler and you will recognize that it is only simple truth when we say "Universal Cooler is aa outstanding contribution la the field of electrical refrigeration." Into it have gone the best engineering talents this country affords--the finest materials and crafts* manship available. It is ua» qualified!? guaranteed. In every detail, Universal Cooler is a quality product and yet is so moderate in price as to cause expressions of geaiiina surprise. lisare -la Sure--Insurance -- WITH -- Wm. G. Schreiner Auctioneering OFFICE AT RESIDENCE Phone 93-R McHENRY, ILL It Is quiet in action--so simple that there is practically noth* Ing to get out of order-- positive and automatic ia action. Whether you want • fine self-contained electrical refrigerator or want the refrigerating units installed in your present ice box, Universal Cooler will meet your need fully, satisfactorily and eco* nomically. See Universal Cooler today, if.- DENTISTS DRS. McCHESNEY & BROWN « (Incorporated) L W. Bihown Dr. R. M. Walker Established over 50 years and still doing business at the eld stand Pioneer* in First Class Dentistry at Moderate Prices Ask your neighbors and Friends about us. 8. E. Cor. Clark and Randolph St. 145 N. Clark St., Chicago « Daily 8 to 5, Sundays 9 to II Plume Central 2047 overdrawn?" The news was duly passed to Mrs. Smith, and was received with a casual and rather cold, "Oh, is it?" Next mdrning she gave her husband a sealed envelope addressed to the cashier, requesting him to deliver it. The manager, having opened the letter, remarked: Perhaps you would like to see what your wife says, and1 'handed the {contents of the envelope to Smith. It was a half sheet of note paper on which was written in large letters, heavily underlined: "Sneak." ' The principal speaker at an advertising dinner said, in the course of his remarks, that there was not a single business under the sun that would not benefit by advertising. When he sat down his neighbor at the table said, "You're not quite right, you know. In my line of trade, for instance, we don't need to advertise; we find our clients pnsh our goods themselves." "Nonsense," said ;the advertiser. MWhat line of business are you in, anyway f" "Perambulators," was the reply. "Why are you so sure that there is no communication between the dead and the living?" "Well, I borrowed five dollars from a Scotchman a week before he died and I haven't heard anything from him yet about it!" Les Brane were a-starting out yesterday morning with a fishin' pole over his shoulder an' he met up with Will B. Drunker. "I see you're going a-fishin'" says Will. "Yes," Les says. "I understand that fish is a good brain food," says he. "Well," Will says, "I wouldn't count too much on it if I was you," says he. "The fish in the little streams around here,' he says, "haint's big enough to do you no good," says he. A Scotchman with a pair of trousers over his arm was found wandering around Detroit the other day. He was looking for the office of the "Free Press." MILK FARMERS, BEWARE OF SNAKEROOT PLANTS "All farmers who have stock grazing in woods and pastures are warned that the white snakeroot plant has reached a stage of growth in which is is a deadly poisop. Milk cows, particularly, should be removed from such pastures unless is is positively known that none of the weed is growing-" This is a warning issued by the director of agriculture, following the death of two calves that were under observation at the state's testing laboratory. A herd of calves have been fed snakeroot since early in the spring. Until July 8, no symptoms were noted. That night, two calves took "trembles." Veterinarians, recognizing the dread disease, administered remedies that wience has recommended. Commenting upon the test he has conducted this season, S. J. Stanard states that it has not proven conclusively that the plant, at a younger stage, is not poisonous. It has determined that it is a fatal poison at I its present development. ! This experimental work will GUM CHEWING IS LATEST CONTEST Omaha Lud Claims World'i y*?. £hampi©nal»ip. Lincoln, Neb.--Fred Patzel, lusty voiced Madison (Neb.) farmer, started something when he "p-o-o-g-l-e-d" hla way to the world's hog calling championship in a contest at Omaha. As a result of the widespread no* toriety Patzel gained with his hog yodeling, contests of nearly every nature are being held In Nebraska cities and towns. Duck calling and chicken calling contests, followed the hog calling tour* nament Exhausting the variety of "calling" contests, other fields of endeavor were resorted to. A few days ago an Omaha youth crammed 100 sticks of gum Into his mouth to claim the world's gum chewing championship. His claim was short lived. Gum chewing contests are being staged in all parts of the state and a state-wide tournament probably will be held later. The gum chewing record to date is ISO stick! at a single chewing. Bad Bahr, eighteen-year-old Hooper (Neb.) youth, claimed the egg eating championship after consuming 72 softboiled eggs In less th^n an hour, breaking th« record of 52 made by his father. Aboct the same time Tony Oddo ate 24 hamburger sandwiches In a tournament at Nebraska City, Neb. Both records still stand. An Auburn (Neb.) youth ate 25 cinnamon rolls at a single sitting and has challenged Oddb, to a hamburger eating contest The. contest will be held soon. Machines Thai Will Start When Looked Al New York.--Mechanical window displays that automatically start to operate when a person stops to watch, lights of a city that may be turned on by a single drop of rain, or costly jewels, loosely laid around and apparently unprotected, but arranged sor that a bell loudly rings when a prospective crook's hand draws near, are no.w a possibility as the result of a new electric relay. The device was Invented by D. D. Knowles, research engineer of the Westlnghouse Electric and Manufacturing company. It Is known as the Knowles gridglow relay, and resembles a radio set vacjuum tube In appearance. When properly connected, a billionth of a watt of electrical energy, about onefortieth the amount of energy exerted by a fly climbing an Inch in a second, Is sufficient to control the flow of a current a hundred million times as great, and this current, In opening or closing another relay, can control currents as high as 25 amperes, • as much as used to operate large motors. Vetoes State Seal; Balsam Bill Scrubby Olympla, Wash.--Roland F. Hartley knows his balsams, being a lumber* man, so the state emblem is dead. Strangely enough, the state "has surcon- 1 vived without an emblem since 1889," tinue indefinately according to Ihe plans of the department of agriculture. All that can be gained in knowledge of this dread disease, and 1 George Washington, superimposed up- :>f means whereby it taay be remedied on an etching of a flr tree with the remarked Governor Hartley In vetoing house bill 199, which would adopt as a state escutclie^p a picture of Twlc® niJTold • Tales Interesting Bits of News Takea From the Columns of the l*iaindealer Fifty ail • Twenty-fire Years "" A|« July, 1877 Thos. Knox met with a severe and painful accident on the Fourth. He was engaged in firing the old cannon when from some cause it was discharged while he was standing over the vent, and his face and breast was blown full of powder. One of the wildest storms of wind, rain, thunder and lightning, parsed over this country on Thursday last that has been known for years. It was so dark that it was necessary to use lamps to do anything, while the wind blew a perfect hurricane, the air was filled with electricity. The artillery of Heaven resounded its loudest and the rain poured in torrents. It is now about two years since we commenced the publication of the Plaindealer and we find many name? upon our books from other towns and states. McHenry market quotes batter, 15 cents; cheese, 8 cents; eggs, 10 cents; lard, 13 cents; potatoes, $1 per bu., and flour, $9 per bbl. Walsh and Howard have opened a new meat market near the depot, where they will keep on hand fresh salt and dried meats of all kinds, and will deliver to any part of the village free of charge. July, IMS H. C. Mead resigned as village attorney and Clyde Thurlwell was appointed to fill the vacancy. Ice cream was served by the Willing Workers last Saturday evening at the time of the Swedish concert. "The cream was delicious," some have said. It was made by N. H. Petesch. He certainly does make good ice cream. Those who contemplate giving parties should call on him. The river continues to rise slowly but surely. Most of the piers are now under water and not a little hay and pasture land is being drowned. H. C. Mjead has just finished taking the school census, finding that there are 311 girls and 234 boys under the age of twenty-one years in this school district, a total of 545. The strike of the freight handlers in Chicago will probably cause considerable inconvenience in McHenry if not settled soon. Of course we can have our goods shipped by express, but when the merchant pays express rates on groceries, his profits go glimmering. or prevented will be obtained as the j result of the tests, and the results < will be given the public. j Thus far, from all available infor-j words, "Evergreen State" Inscribed below. Rather than have a scrubby, scraggy flr tree emblematic of the state mation on the subject, the only sure j of big timbers, which the governor way to prevent "trembles" in livestock and the resultant "milksick" in human beings, is to keep cattle away from the weed. "The present administration of the state government and the department of agriculture has done everything possible to warn the public against the danger of this poisonous plant. It has cost countless lives, and unless a cure is found, will continue to do so as long as cattle graze in pastures where this weed exists. The only safety lies in keeping live stock away from the plant," according to Director Stanard. ITERRA COTTA in said would be the case if the one proposed by backers of bill 199 were adopted, the state executive suggested a true replica of the mighty Douglas flr. This tree by Its "noble size and majestic appearance and value" Is a variety truly typical of the Northwest state. The picture passed by both houses was described as a short, scrubby bal-_ sam tree, generally seen In bad lands on a pile of rocks.. For this reason bill 199 was vetoed. f - 666 Is a prescription for Golds, Grippe, Flu, Dengue, Fever and Malaria. It JUBs the ferms. Off 1M bIPPiVNP UVKr OB MB* at Mir Store H. E. Bach & Co. Batteries, Tubes and Radio Accessories Phone 48 GfflU, 4N» (Copyrighted 1926 by Universal Cooler C«pt <Too Late for Last Week) Mrs. B. J. Shine was a caller Elgin Tuesday. Mr. and Mrs. Henry McMillan attended a family reunion at the home of Walter Davis in Dundee, Monday. Willard Wagner of Honey Creek, Wis., called on friends here Saturday. Mrs. Edward J, Knox and daughter, Patricia Ann of Sycamore called on relatives here Friday. Mr. and Mrs. Jack Heffron of Chicago visited relatives here Monday. Mrs. Henry MicMillan was a caller in Elgin last Wednesday. Misses Mary and Ellen Frisby of Elgin are spending their vacation at their home here. Misses Helen and Georgia Brennan of Solon visited friends here Sunday and Monday. Mr. and Mrs. Jules Simond of Elgin called on friends here Monday Mr. and Mrs. James Green and I children of Woodstock visited rela- | lives here Sunday. • Mm Marie Knox visited relatives i in ^Sycamore from Friday until Sun- ' flay. Mrs. George Dunkley and Mrs. Jeannarie of Elgin visited friends here Wednesday. Mr. and Mrs. Willis Davis of Fisher, called on relatives here Monday. Miss Agnes Kirby of Aurora spent Sunday and MSonday in the home of M. Knox. Mr, and Mrs. Frank Peck of Chi cago called on relatives here Monday. Mr. and Mrs. Don Shine and family of Chicago visited relatives here Sunday and Monday. Mr. and Mrs. Floyd Davis of Carpentersville were recent visitors in the home of Henry McMillan. Mr. and Mrs. Edward J. Knox of Sycamore viritcd with relatives hero Saturday and Sunday] That cool attractive silk lingerie is. here in all the wanted shades. Erickson Dept. Store. "King of the Hoboes" Cured of Wandering Cincinnati, Ohio.--Jeff I>avls, "king" of,the hoboes, baa been ..qiml of derlng. lie Is going to stay at home, •)* says, and keep his wife company fOf the rest of his days, for his only saa has left the family roof tree to wed. JelTs friends, however, doubt that his wandering feet, which carried him over 850,»XX) miles of the globe's surface In the last 26 years, will remain before the fireside. They are sura that he will at least continue to "crash the gate" of labor conventions, for his shining pate has bobbed up at most of the major labor gatherings and disturbances of the Twentieth century. • I l l 1 1 I I I I I 1 1 1 I I I I 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Searchlights Fool Moon-Loving Animals I Pasco, Wash.--Rabbits and ! other small fur-bearing animals 1 that love to roam by the light ! of the full moon have been en- 1 Joying one continuous carnival this winter. Nature Is unable to explain to her underground subjects the cause of the brilliant nights, but mere man ; knows. The huge electric and gas beacons showing aviators on I the Pasco-Elko air-mall line ' proper directions are the at- ! traction for the lntermountaln ; wild life. I I I I 1 1 1 I 1 1 1 1 1 I I I I 1 I 1 I I 1 1 Tower Fortification ~ A martello tower is a circular fort of masonry, generally erected on the 6eacoast, which has guns mounted on the top in such a way as to be able to fire in any direction. The word Is probably derived from the Italian "martello," hammer, and from "mortella," taken from Cape Mortella In Corsica, where such a tower resisted the English fleet In 1794. •^Official Publication} • of the condition of River Valley State Bank loeated at McHenry, State of Illinois, at the close of business on the 30th day of June, 1927, as made to the Auditor of Public Accounts of the State of Illinois, pursuant to law* i ^ BESOURCES titans -orffeanfeate " •. . Loans on Collateral Security Other Loans .• Overdrafts • '••• • . Other Bonds and Securities- Banking House, Furniture and Fixtures- Other Real Estate Due from Banks, Cash and Other Cash Resources ^ J 36,317.95 . - 6,010.49 . 69,096.60 622.67 - 24,750.00 - 21,720.47 * ; £5,294.95 ..22,117.08 Total Resources ,$235,930.21 Capital Stock > Undivided Profits Time Deposits Demand Deposits LIABILITIES 4 50,000.00 L 159.07 62,156.91 123,614.23 Total Liabilities .$235,930.21 I, D. G. Wells, President of the Fox River Valley State Bank, do solemnly swear that the above statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief, and that the items and amounts shown above correspond with the items and amounts shown in the report made to the Auditor of Public Accounts, State of Illinois, pursuant to law. • - D . 0 . W E L L S , President. State of Iilinois, . * Bounty of McHenry, ss. Subscribed and sworn to-before me'this 9th day of July, 1927. N. H. PETESCH, (Seal) .Notary Public. Fox River Valley Boat Company" Builders Of PLEASURE CRAFTS HYDROPLANES AND V BOTTOM BOATS FOR OUT-BOARD BOATS ROW BOATS B O. MUELLER J. J. ROTHERMEL Reptile Intpire* Fear Tbe domestic fowl will Ignore any reptile, but a lapwing, curlew, or snipe will dash away from one as quickly as lt« wings will carry It. A parrot that has been kept In captivity for many years will show the greatest panic at the sight of a harmless grass snake W*U Supplied With £)+* The drone l>«a has 13,800 eyes, tht Worker 6,000, and the queen 4.900. r 1 --1 WW •*n ^ ^ e tfJU T! Farm Machinery Fordson Tractors Oliver Plows Roderick Lean Discs Champion Mowers Sandwich Rakes Sandwich Hay Loaders Champion Grain Binders Papec Silo Fillers KNOX MOTOR SALES trrW here Your Dollar Buys Most" Phones 30 and 31 McHenry, Illinois K V '312 / • .-J*