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j I®*A California Sheriff, who had got tired of having conscienee-strick- l en Nathan murderers give themselves s lip, and desire free transportation to I New York, there to expiate their ! crime on the gallows, addressed tlie ' last candidate as follows; "So your con- , science iiiii't easy, eh?* Ah." replied the murderer, '*1 have the curse of Cain upon my brow; I wander, wander, but find no rest." "And you're the man?" : MI am." "And you want to be hanged ?" aI feel that I shan't rest till I'm hanged" "Well my friend," replied the Sheriff thniiffhtfuHv. "the County Treasury o • - *• ain't well fixed at present, and 1 don't wiint to take arty risks id case you're not the man and are just fishing for a, free ride to New York. Besides, those New York courts can't be trusted to hang a man. On the whole, as you . say you deserve to be killed, and Want to be killed, and as it (can't make much difference to you or society how you are killed, so long as you are, I guess I'M kill you myseipv " So saying, he drew his revolver, but the conscience- stricken murderer had departed in the direction of Alaska with such fervor, that people couldn't see the brand of Cain on his brow for dust. : --- Underthe Fifth Rib--On theVicks burg and Meridian railtoad the other day, a Lotiisiaua planter encountered a colored man whose face had a familiar look. The negro had his attention at­ tracted likewise, and it was soon ascer­ tained that he was once owned by the planter. < . **Ye£, you once. owned me," he Re­ marked, "and'I was 110 better dan a ho&*« Now I holds an office^ and is as good as anybody." "Do you want to do me a favor, George?" inquired the ex-master. "I'spectsso sah," Wfell, in case you ever tell ariy one that you hold^n office, don't let on that I ever owned you, for, with this oue exception, all my niggers turned out to he respectable jjegpleT'--Vicksburg Herald. OF ALL KINDS, that HALL'S SAFES, Fanning Mills,* Wheelbarrows, -Sawing Machines, Com flantenyAe* '"ill- ' For Sale at tHe!Depoi"and on the ruins of R. Bishop's Agrl- cultural Works. THE BISHOP •Mark Twain, they say,is lending money at sixteen per cent. Twain was formerly a popular humorist, but he got rich in one way and another and ceased to be funny. A man cannot be thrifty and a humorist too. Artemus Ward died just in the pick of time-- just as people were beginning to ap­ preciate the music that was in him and pay him for making it. Mark Twain might have kept up his reputation a<* a humorist.if he bad died two years ago, but it is to late now. It will not help him any to* die. He can go on lending money at sixteen per cent., or any other per cent, he can get; he is in the money making business now. >**235 "The Rev. Mr. Aldrich, of San Francisco' is young, eloquent and hand­ some. For some months his ontirch -was crowded to suffocation with the most beautiful women in the city, who hung upon his words wilii wrapt at­ tention. A few weeks ago, Mr. Aldrich took unto himself a wife from among the fair daughters of'Frisco, and from that hour the church baganto run (town and expenses could not be met. ^The throng of female supporters left, ob­ serving that the preacher had made his choice, and uow the congregation is about turning him out to get a hand­ some youug priest who will. draw. That have been in use for near ly one quarter of a Century, that I will WARRANT to be well made, of seasoned tim­ ber and second to NONE IN THE MARKET. I alto have on hand the CLIPPER Dayton, Ohio and Rockford *Chawlcs. Chawles. bwingme--ah--a small--a vei-y small piece of beef--a-- about the size of a half dollah. Do you understand, Chawles?" said a deli­ cate youth to a restaurant waiter. ^Yes, s ab, in a moment, sah," said the darkey. As he parted off, a great raw- boned fellow sitting near by yelled af­ ter him, "Waitaw, waitaw T 4*Yes sah; what will you have, sah?" "The eyes of all were upon the muscular countryman as he drawled forth, "Chawles, Chawles, %wing me a small--a vewry small piece of pork--ah--and one, bean. Do you understand Chawles ?" OVEN ' "" " # •, McHENRY, - * General Deal * " \ '*** ̂ • - r \ K -V 'J *# * ILLiNOIS, JUFRANCISC^ Iff AGON AND ufacturer's Agent in the Farm lamaio m 11 iiU inery. I. Shop opposite Cke Parker Honse, Among which I represent the following; The-Celebrated NICHOLS, SIIEPARD & CO. Vibrator Threshers and Mounted Powers. Also the AULT- MAN & CO. Sweepstake Thresher. All the leading make of PLOWS. The unrivaled Vandiver and Quincy CORN PLANTERS. MCHENRY- 'I.* * - ILLINOIS rabwrfher wnnM Inform the public that he is now prepared to furnish them with any* thing in his line from a common Farm Wagon -- -- • • - ln(j to the nicest Top Carriage, on short notice anc at reasonable rates. Using none but the best of timber and employing none but In REAPERS and MOWERS COMBINED will be found the PEERLESS and BUCKEYE TABLE RAKE, the EMPIRE MOWER and LABOR SAV­ ING MARSH HARVESTER, BERTRANT) & SAMES ROCKFORD SULKY CULTIVATOR, HOLLINGSWORTIT Sulky Rakes, HAMILTON Sulky Rakes, . Hollow Tooth Harrows, Garden and Railrsoad Wheelbarrow«, Lumber ^agons, SKILLED \Mr ORKIvlEN ! &c., Ac. . Prices Low and Favorable Terms. CASH and CLOSE BUYERS are invited to inspect stock and compare Quality aud Prices, as I will not be undersold in the same quality of Machinery. • : « # : • • • , • . ; . . . give satisfaction, and for good paywilib»««low a# e»n pe#»i- afforded, - .• He Warrants his work to r good uavwilibe bly be . y'V BLAKE & BRO., - 7 3 ' -'w ' ' '4* >: f Furn i tu re Of all Grades and Price*. Wareroam Nearly Opposito the Post OMfc: McHenry, III. Wareroom Crammed ! Where will be Common Kitchen Styles to the found anything frail " b finest E. M. OWEN, McHpnry, 1U., July 37th 1875. NEAR THE DEPOT, M'HENRY. New Store! New Goods! Prices to Suit the Times,. FOB CASH Olt READY PAY. Our Stock consists RIES, HATS, selected to neral ^assortment of DRY GOODS, GROCE- SHOES, CROCKERY, GLASS-WARE, Ac or a ge: CAPS, BOOTS, MEET THE WANTS OF THE COMMUNITY. DTDRY nnnTIO We have a full line of Domestics, Dress Goods,' Silks, ITUUDO Pongrees, Poplins, Alpacas, I^ustre, White Goods, Sack ings. Hosiery, Gloves, &c. in Notions, We have Dress Trimmings, Buttons, Edgings, I'llra*ols,Perfumery,&c. HE MAKES H o r m o S li o eing* A SPECIALTY, ^ •A ' - REPAIRI PTO- of an kinds promptly attended to. Call and see for yourself. L. FRANCISCO. McHenry, 111., July 28th 1875. 0A8H ! CASH'! ! CASH ! COm, DflGHT & CO., Woodstock, III., Have an Immense Stock of OUK GROCERIES Will be choice and BELOW CO&T.. < oflfered at bottom prices, NOT Parlor Sets. In Hair, Cloth' and " JJeps. They have Chamber Sets, and can suit everybody. Marble Top Center Tables* ELEGANT EASY CHAIRS. LOOKING GLASSES^ AND PICTURE FRAMES, Of all kinds and sizes. WhatnotSy Lounges. Rockers, Hair, Moss and Spring Mattrasses, etc., etc. In short everything you want. We make a specialty of UNDERTAKING ! A very large stock of Bnrial Cases and Coinns constantly on hand, and made to order on short notice, i PICTURES FRAMED In all stvles at the LOWEST LIVING PRICES. A full line of BOOTS AND SHOES,"warranted werk, nnd at Lowest Prices. • Ifi^-The Highest Market Price paid for IJutter. ICggs svml Poultrv. Call and see us and we will endeavor, by SQt rA f\' 1] DEA LTXfl and LOW PRICES to merit a share of your patronage. fcgfr Gennftn spoken^ BUCKLIN & STEVENS. " McHenry, 111., July 27th, IS75r ~ PEHRT li Willi. In iulditkm to that I have the Standard ENOCK AND DOTY PLOWS, BgaP*A Texas man bought, ten worth of plug tobacco, and in paying for it pulled out a roll of $100 bills. A man who saw him followed him home and murdered him for his money. That** just what we always said would happen, when folks asked why^we didn't haul out 8100 bills. To avoid any such re­ sult. we have always told the tobacco man to mark it down on a slate, • ®®*A Chicago paper asks: "Does giant farming payvv We haye not heard from many persons who have raised giaets, but we think it pays when not embarked into too elaboratelv. There's the Cardiff Giant, for instance: The fellow who "raised" it made money , but the giant fell into inex)x>rienced inds at last, and is now utilized as a Itching post, we believe. W. Of Kockforil, that are warranted to scour in aiivH.il. it .niiiiit'f c;ni do veinrne<l. Also t»r- r. e ». km WiJIiam Anson Wood a,.d inc WlcComick M teTDunn Piatt saj s: "When aplay- fuljboy is sliding down a sand-bank, with a heart full of carelessness *£nd a pair of summer pants, nothing more quickly turns the current of his thought than to slide on a brier," but how Dunn Piatt can imagine a playful boy with a lie art full o'f summer pants is one of .the queer things. Headquarters for aU Slir.ds of Dry Goods, Clothing, Boots and, Blxoes, Hats and Gaps, Groceries of all Kinds, Crockery, Glass-War FRUIT CANS, CARPETS, TRUNKS, And in short, a First Class Stock of General Merchandize. We are constantly receiving new Goods of all kinds, and buying them for Cash Down are thereby enabled to offer special bargains in all classes of goods. We ^tnow that talk is cheap, but the party or parties who can undersell us don't live in this neck of the woods. Our LARGE AND CONSTANTLY IN­ CREASING THADE testifies better than anything we can say that OUR CLAIMS ARE NOT UNFOUNDED. We always guarantee our goods to be what they are represented to be and are Always ready to make good our word. We are .here to get a livelihood and hence cannot afford to be undersold or to'deceive the public, nor to ask enormous profits on our goods. We intend to 'life: 4- Ivt' -1', JOTFrom early Spring until tjie pros ent time camp-meetings have been held >almost continuously, and may not this, a wet If there is anything in the 'world better than an election day or an annual Fair, to bring on & it is a after all, be the cause of such fesil 1 «. " season? camp meeting. To be found at both Ware­ houses. Call and Examine before. Purchasing Else­ where. " Live and Let Live ! And while we are grateful to a generous public for their patronage in time past, we hope to merit the same in the future. JKa^ GIVE US A CALL and we will show you our Goods and we you weft whether you buy of us or not. O. BINHOP. McHenry, 111.', Angust^, 1875. PERRY & MARTIN. At the Old Staud of Owen & Brother. McHenry, 111., July 27th, 1875. WHICH WILL RE SOLI) RIOH^ O DOJTJV LOW FOR CASH Corner of Ma;n Street and the Public Square. Woodstock, 111., Sept. 6th, .1875. D. C. MALLORY, NUNDA, ILL., Has Jiisi rcctftvucl a full line of New Goods which lie is selling CHEAP FOli CASH. » Dry Goods, CROCERIES, Hardware, Acc. Ladles aiwl Children8 Shoes we make a*8pec- inlity of, ami always keep a full line of Wall Paper, ami Window Shades.'" All kinds of Patent Medicines, Jllandiard Churns, Syrups, Teas, Coffees, Kerosene, very cheap. , The Millinery Department, Under the care of an experienced Foreman is complete with the latest styles of Hats, Bon­ nets Ribbons, Laces, Collars,^Cliffs &c. Particular attention given to Conveyancing and Collecting., • D. C. MALLORY, Justice of thectare and otary Public. Nunda. July 27,1875. THE to Save Money li is at Nunda. Place for von to Save Money in Iraylng Good Goods Cheap is at IRA M. MALLORY is selling cheaper than anvone else, and if you want anything that he has not in stock let him send to the manufac­ turers and get it for you. He keeps a General Stock of all kinds of Tobaccos, very cheap and warranted. Hanley's and Marshal's Flour alwavs on hand. Candies, Cigars, Pipes, En­ velopes, Paper, Lead Pencils, Checker and Backgammon Boards. A large assortment of very neavy TliV WARE, Cheap for Cash. I keep a large Variety Of CROQUET SETS dirt cheap. Will take Butter, Eggs, Ac., in exchange for goods.-- Also Pickle Script for such goods as can lx) bought at the Factory at wholesale. 1 am Agent for the Protection Life Insurance Com­ pany and the JEtjia, Hartford, Mercantile and Agricultural Fire Insurance Companies. Call on toe if you wish reliable Insurance Cheup. I can sell you a house and lot or lots alone. Real Estate Business a specialty. Call at my All Goods Warranted Of fhe'very best quality and sold a* OW AS THE LOWEST. BLAKE & BRO. McHenry, 111., Aug. 2d, 1875. m T O R Y , -DEALER IN-- Shelf and Heavy Hardware , STOVES TINWjmE, MECHANICS' TOOLS\ FARMING IMPLEMENTS, CLOTHES WRINGERS* &c., &c.,' &c., &c., WHICH WILL BE SOLD LOVKER THAN USU1L PRICKS! Now is the time to purchase, and save lao®- ey, I believe'that I can furnish good good* at tf&*16'w prices, as anyone in the county. Also keep on hand a full Stock Of BUILDING PAPEJK, such as Plain Board, Waterproof, Iron Coated and Tarred Felt. Also Moth Proof Carpet Lining. „ „ KAWL AND 8EE I Hepairinĝ Store, Under the new Nund Hall, which is the fin eatfn town, and will be let at reasonable rates IRA M. MALLORY. Xnnda, July 27th, 1875, Promptly attended to. J. STORY* Opposite Ow«n Jfilla. licH«nry*IU.rJul? 23.