Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 12 Apr 1876, p. 6

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' ^ _ t & ?^";' mrnrnm riMi JANE KKBD. •Ml 'v^yikr^WMTlTanlaBalldL" s ^Vjif »* •*«*» nntau-^u •If I could forget,* «be saM, " for***, Mid begin attain! We •« a° <tall at the time, and, looking back, eo -^Tciuiet that's wowe, I think, than many a Am* | "sw^igtibat' one mistake should change the whole of a life. •Store's John, fore«*lbe Aae, ao steady, wMk, and mild; j - *" . , Be never storms s a man who never cried as a child. ' . .. ,. ,f3' ,. . Pwfaaps my ways are harsh, but If he would seem to Tfcfsr vnTr' fewer swallowed words and a lighter load to bear. «Bere, Cherry!--she's found me out, the calf I raiwu ui iu* Bering, And a likely heifer she's grown, the foolish, soft- «ved thing! JMt the even color I like, without a u*J)le or ( speck,-- 1 ' Ok, Cherry, bend down your head, apd let ine cry on yoiir neck! # poor dumb beast she is, she never can know nor tell, And it seems to do me good, the very shame of the spell: 80 old a woman and hard, and Joel so old a man- Bat tfe* tbo«gfe»* of the old go on as the thoughts of young began! "It* guetelng that wastes the heart, far wone than the surest fata; If 1 knew he had thought of me, I could'quietly work and wait j Ai*A then when either, at last, on a bad of death , should lie, .r Wkr. one might speak the tenth, and the other hear aaddie!* She leaned on the heifWrt neck; the dry teams Ml 1 rom the boughs, And over the sweet late grass of the meadow strayed th« cows: The golden dodder meshed the cardinal flower by t h e r i U ; . ' v ^ Xtae was antnmn haae in the air, and sunlight low on the hill. , , i! . I*vt nnmehnw missed my time," she said to her­ self, and sighed; "Hfcat girls are free to hope, a steady woman mnsi hide. Bat the need outstays the chance; it makes me cry and laugh « Tb think that the only thing I can talk to now is a - it,r. calf." * [ ft (Mp came doWnfnsnttw hIB t ahe 4M not tarn • - or rise; 1 - There was something in her heart that saw without the eyes. She heard the foot delay, as doubting to stay or go: "Is the heifer for sale?" he said. She sternly answered, "Mel" n» lifted her head as she apoke; Owtr eyeaamo- - w»nt mat lad her heart repeated the words, " If I oonld only forget!" He turned a little away, but her lowered eyes oonld Bis hand, as he picked the bark from the trunk «t a hickory tree. can't we be friendly, Jane?" his words tame, strange and »tor, M Von seem" to bear me a grudge, so long, and so long ago! Ton were gay and free with the rest, but always so shy of me. That. before my freedom came, I saw that it couldn't be." •tJMl!" waa all she cried, as their glances met again. * And a sudden rose effaced her.pallor at age and pain. Be picked at the hickory bask "It's a curious thiug to say: Bat I'm lonely since nebe died and the girls are married away, 44 shy the#? thoughts come bade: I'm a little too old for pride, And l never oonld understand how love should be all one side. TwoxUd answer itself, I thought, and time would show me bow; BMk it didntbome so then, awl it doesn't seem so now!" . " Joel, it came so then!"--and her voice was thick with tears; 44 A hope for a single day, and a bitter shame tot years!" • •fctnavped Ifcs iMMS fee hickory tree: "lane, look me onee in the face, and say that yon thought of me!" feebly teaghed: "It'sa comfort to know the truth, Though the chance was thrown away in the blind mistake of youth." **A§d a greater comfort, Jane," he said with a ten- der smile, "ft find the chanoe yon hare lost, and keep it a nrH. little while." •be rose as he spake the words; the petted heifer thrust Her muzzle between the twain, with an animal's etrange mistrust; But over the creature's neck he drew her to his breast: M A horse is neve? »> old but it pulls with another - best!" r : enough to know," Aa said, "to remember, not forgetr* •** May, nay: for the rest of life we'll pay each other's debt!" .-She had no will to resist, so kindly was she drawn, And she sadly said, a* last," Bat what will become of John ?" --Atlantic for April. MY CHOICE. Ton wot away very n ~i7* *£-I_y," Liaptly tLz Chappell to me, %?Len I called as I was massing about a fortnight sfterward (i Bad in the meantime been tmrang a child). « Well," I aus-ycred» *' yowvero b»iay, And I had stopped short in my narrative just at that point of my life where fic­ tion ordinarily ends; and sueb a flood of recollection oame over me as I stood leaning alone against your oounter, that I did not feel inclined to disenchant even m>self. " You see, Mrs. Chap pell," I went on, " when an elderly woman's memory goes into the dreamland of her courtship and honeymoon she does not like the jolting journey back to common life. So when you. left me thinking of Oliver Mar bury «8 he appeared in his short-waisted, tight- fitting, claret-colored coat, his white •atm stock and waistcoat, pale, stone- ^ored trousers, and patent leather bo^ts mid myself in my pretty white Mfeui drawn bonnet and blonde fall, my ^tute book-muslin dross and satin bssIl nay small white Paisley bordered Nor- Wieh shawl and sandalled slippers, I was 40 full of that happy marriage morn in «nr old church at S , and the dinner afterward, when my father astonished Amos and Leah by giving me the thou­ sand pounds, that I did not care to shut put the picture, and took myself off in- fllead/' . ^••Then did your marriage turn out so ^dly? questioned Mrs, Ghappel, with 4Rie eye on the shop-door the while ' " Badly ! It was an the hunting-whips, gig whips, spurs, racing calendars framed and glased, the guns, shot-bolts, and powder-flasks, the boxing-gloves and foils hung up or lit­ tering about the whole house. Then, too, there were cigars and pipes, cards and dice in drawers and boxes, and the first faint, impalpable shadow of doubt crept over me. . 4 e ! Oliver will forego these things now that he is married,' said T to myself, 'and I will make that delightful old library quite a snuggery. It is the most cosy room in the house.' At first he drove me about hero and there, and one or two of his father's very old friends called upon me; but his own acquaintance*! were mostly men in New­ market cfeats like his own. who talked slang, smoked incessantly, stared hard at me, or mack freer than I liked, and who walked in and out of the house, ordered the servants, drank beer and brandy, went and stayed with a freedom very foreign to my notions, and altogether upset my theories of the privacy of do­ mestic life. " There was one, a Gapt. Thornton, I especially disliked, and I told Oliver so. 1 He will ruin you if you continue to as­ sociate with him,'I said. " Oliver laughed, patted my cheek, and replied, knowingly, ' My dear, he might if I were not too deep for him. I mean to make a fortune out of the Cap­ tain before long.' 411 had heard from my father that Oliver's property was not large, and, lit­ tle as I knew of such matters, I could tell my £1,000 would not go far to sup­ port such a mode of life. But he only Laughed when I said captains and coun­ try squires were not associates for him. ' Never you mind, Mary ; I know what I'm about.' And then he grew angry when I spoke on the subject, so I de­ sisted. V " Frequently he was away for a week or two together, and then the whole tribe went with him--not that at other times we always had the house full; but it was seldom quite empty. We rarely had a quiet eveaing to ourselves. He was away when my baby was born, and I was partly glad of it for the house was quiet. " Oliver had insisted upon a christen­ ing feast, and gave his orders as if Potosi had been at his command, " s Hang the cost t What do I care!' was his reply to my wish ft) keep expen­ diture within bounds. " Of course there were friends of his own invited, and of course there was heavy drinking ; and whilst father, Leah, Mrs. Mathews, and I sat together in the drawing-room, listening to the March winds blustering without, a noise of voices in loud contention came from the dining-room across the hall. " * Liar,!' 'Cheat!' * Sharper!' * Vaga­ bond!' were among the epithets which smote our ears. Then there was a scuf­ fle. We met the seivants in the hall al­ so, hurrying to ascertain what; was the matter, and as we opened the dining- room door we saw Capt. Thornton with his hands on Oliver's throat. I shrieked. Sam, our man-servant, darted in, and helped to separate them--drawing his master away toward the door. " The faces of both men worked with passion; Oliver shook iiimself free, snatched A decanter from the dining- table, and hurled it across at his antagonist with full force. Instinctive­ ly the captain put up his arm to guard hie face. The decanter smashed upon his hand, gashed it frightfully. " I believe'there was a cry for a doc­ tor, but not for me, though I had faint­ ed and been carried back to the drawing- room sofa insensible. " Capt. Thornton's life was in peril from the hemorrhage. His wrist was bound tightly before a surgeon came to extract the glass and sew up the wound; but for all that he was for a long time in danger of lockjaw. When he did re­ cover the muscles of his right hand were so contracted that he could no longer shuffle cards, ride at hunt or steeple­ chase, handle a billiard cue, or fire a gun ; and li© vowed vengeance against the man who had madp life a bnrdea to him. " Oliver laughed, as waa his wont; but evil seemed to haunt us from that hour--not as a consequence of that one act, tat'of zzx8& I knew nothing. "My fc&Lor ftegfeafcfrfi&e •"i&U? •library b^oio -lie Leah • xt£ui»ijod home, and he shut the door. " * Mary,' said he gravely, *IiiJ I known thy Oliver vr.3 such a mistrel I'd have chopped my hand off afore I'd ha' given thee to him. I'm afraid thoul't rue afore long. Such riot and extrava­ gance as I saw last night cannot last. And when his own brass is melted he'll want thy £1,000.' ««Never shall I forget his look of con­ sternation as 1 told him I had given the money over to Oliver before we left home on our wedding-day. « (Then, ten to one, it's thy money he's squandering P he cried, in as much of a temper as I ever saw him ; but he soft­ ened at my tears, and added, ' It's my fault, Mary; I ought to have tied it down on thee. Never mind, lass, if the worst comes to the worst, there's a home for thee Huu thy little Lauaceiot whilst I've a roof to cover me.' " The end did not come quite so soon as father predicted, but it came quite soon enough. Bills came pouring in as soon as the rapture between Oliver and Gapt. Thornton got wind, and 1 had to soften my husband's ' Hang it, let them wait,' as best I could, to importunate duns--I who had never known what debtor and creditor ineai.t beyond a ' bill of parcels' at school. Then credit was stopi>ed, and Oliver swore over every sovereign he gave to me. Sometimes, , after a brief absence, he came back with Mtion T>aviii Tt .vJ8 U1j*.0?rtuufte day i rolls of notes, but he would disappear .a. hiriiHelf to be j again, and they would disappear too. And as his embarrassments increased he lalked over, and let his pet daughter be .obme Mary Mar bury. Better ten thou- sand times have remained Mary Beach to the end of my davs!" " Yet as I went with Oliver inside the hired chaise to the new home I had not vet seen, and his arm held me close to him all the way, and he stooped now and then to whisper, 'My wife,' and tell me how much he loved me, and how happy we > hould be, I thought that one word 4 wife' comprehended all that was ecstatic and sublime, and the vista of the future held not a cloud. "Two things struck me about our (Jiouse (which had been father's)--the ^*Oused, dusty look of the library, a room like an offshoot at the back, it crammed with books, and, secondly drank still more heavily and his temper grew so irritable that no one knew how to deal with him. , " our little LauUoelot, whose win- mng ways beguiled many a dreary hour, and in the books in our oosy library, I tried to smother the sense of impending misfortune. . ^ue servant had already gone. The old housekeeper I myself dismissed, knowing my inability to pay her. And now I felt the value of Leah's sharp training, for I had to do the work of the house, cook, and nurse my baby into the bargain ; and woe betide me if broil or roast or ragout were not to my husband's liking. "He rode off one morning with a valise strapped before him, trimring Launoelot and me before he went, and I did not see him again for years. Be­ fore the day was out sheriffs officers were in the house, and but for kind Mrs. Matthews, who interoeded for me, neither baby nor myself would have had so much as a change of raiment left. " She took me home with her, a poor, dazed, stunned creature, who had not reached her twenty-sewnd birthday. Consoling Launcelot (who wept because his mother wept, as children will) with lump-sugar and jam, she hushed him to rest, and then dispatched a hurried mis­ sive to my father. "A couple of days elapsed, during which my heart sank to its lowest ebb. Then he oame. He had been himself away at an auction and could not leave. " He did not upbraid me. He said he had ' foreseen what was coming,' and I know not whether he or I thanked Mrs. Matthews most heartily lor her kindness. " Back to my childhood's home I went with a very heavy heart, and not all my dear father's heartiness could prevent me from feeling myself and child in­ truders. " Soon after he sent me down to Mos- ford to my brother-in-law to learn con­ fectionery, then stocked a shop and furnished a house for me in one of the old Bows of Chester, to the great indig­ nation of the ethers. " ' It's best you try to get a living for Launce and yourself, my girl,' said my good father; ' and though I'd rather have you near me, it's wisest to remove you beyond the reach of envious eyes, and where that wastrel husband of yours will not think of looking for you.' " At first I was very awkward, in my new position. City and people were alike strange; but feat perhaps helped to set me at ease behind my oounter. "Bright, hazel-eyed, five-year-old Launoelot was the star of my night. He was more like his grandfather Beech than his own father, of whom he had no remembrance; a black paper profile found at my father's being my only like­ ness of absent Oliver. " Often and often aa I stood behind my oounter I wondered if ever chance would bring him in there among the stream of customers ; and yet I think I generally looked upon him as dead ; no word or sign having reached me of his existence. "It was May--sunny, scented May-- and Chester race-week. Matty ana I were busy as bees from mornixlg until night. Launce went to school. The second race day, a party of ladies and gentlemen came into the shop, talking and laughing as they came. One of them was Oliver Marbury! "I screamed and fainted. When 1 came to myself he was gone. After nightfall he came again and abused me for ' making a scene and compromising him with his friends.' But finding me in comfortable circumstances he took up his abode with me, professed to have exhausted his means in trying to dis­ cover us, and was lavish of caresses both to Lanncelot and myself. " I had never ceased to lore him, and I hailed the prodigal's return. Yet, as of old, he came and went, and ere long began to drain my resources. He took from my pocket and from my till the mosey with -which I should served my credit, and gambled it away. The climax came when my little Mary was about four months old. " My Itock got low; I had no money to give him. Half drunk, he brought a broker on to the premises, sold to him stock, fixtures, and furniture, regardless of my tears and entreaties; and, while the goods were being hurried away, put the proceeds in his pocket, and, carpet­ bag in hand, turned on his heel, coarsely telling me old David Beech would make a home for me and the squallers. The children were both crying. At this Launcelot raised his little fist and struck at his unnatural father. " Like a savage he turned upon the child, to strike at him. On the impulse of the moment I interposed, and the blow meant for Launcelot came down oh myself and the baby in my arms. I dropped, and little Mary never cried again. " They tell me I was frantic for months. .-±t all '«svoati, "pare 311"* pain of giving o vldohce against my own 'fm-liUii. '.ai.tly and sufficed. p L£d ute ̂ainafc' a piece o! niture in the and there was a sug­ gestion that the babe had been killed in the, fall. He charge of murder had been abandoned, but Oliver was found guilty of manslaughter, and condemned to seven years' transportation. " Mrs. Matthews, good soul! took charge of Launce during my illness, and with Matty's help Leah nursed me at my father's, grumbling all the while at the trouble, the cost, and the disgrace. " I tried to shut my eyes on the fu­ ture--to hope we might remain undis turbed, and to train my boy to better things. Meanwhile my father died. He had secured a shop for me, and left me a small annuity, to be paid quarterly. " Eight years passed away. Launoe­ lot, my pride and joy, was fifteen--a frank, good-natured, and high spirifeed youth, whose mother was all in all to him. " Suddenly the avalanche came down upon us. A fierce, dark, scowling rep­ robate came in at our door, and claimed as my husband a right to share my means. My heart sank. This was not the man I iiad sworn to love and obey. " I was powerless to resist, and he stayed. Goaded by the thought that while he had been in captivity we had prospered, he tortured me in every way he could devise, and Launcelot became my companion. Then he made the boy his butt to wound me surest. "At la«t Launcelot, seeing only shame and disgrace before him, conceiving that he was only a cause of outrage on me, as mapy a good son has done before, ran off 10 sea, and I was- lelt to Cope with Oliver Marbury alone. " One night--siiaU I ever forget it?-- a man clambered over the onthousing in at my chamber window. It waa he, haggard, footsore, bloody. He had wounded a man and sought concealment. He threatened to kill me if I spoke a word. What money I had he took, ate greedily some bread and cheese, changed his clothes, and then fled as he came. " Men were on the watch and he was taken. His blood-stained clothes were found in my room, where I sat white with terror. " I was told that, in an affray with poachers on his preserves, Capt. Thorn­ ton and a keep had been killed, and I was questioned until my Very brain be­ gan to reel. " I thought. I should be called upoh to give evidence against him. I had loved him once. He was the father of my children. To avoid such a contingen­ cy I fled, whither I neither knew nor cared. " I had no money--never thought of it. I went along lanes, through fields, avoiding the high road», excitement keeping me up, though I had no food. The first night I took shelter in a barn, stealing off like a culprit at daybreak. I must have looked hungry, for a lad swinging on a gate, with a great hunch of bread in his hand, broke it in two and offered half to me. " That night I dropped on a stone by the wayside and fell asleep. I was roused by some one calling to me. A gentleman in a gig offered me a seat if I was going his way. The moon was full on his face and in my surprise I ejacula­ ted : "'Mr. Smithson!' " I know not whose mmrfsir Ifii the greatest. My father bad dealt with him for years, and he had called on Amof Bradley only the day before. /My troubles were not unknown to hyaa. I tola him all. He took me home to Bed- ditch, to Ms wife; and there I remained. " My husband's sentence now was for life. There was no fear of his breaking in upon me, they said; but, ah! thought and memory did that. "Mr. Smithson would have had me change my name, but I dared not de­ stroy the only clue by which Launce might seek his mother. From time to time I heard of him through Mrs. Mat­ thews. Once I went to meet him in Liverpool--only once. I expected him home from California last Christmas. " When I went home from this shop, Mrs. Chappell, last November, I bought a newspaper to read over my tea. I read that the Rosierucian had foundered off Cape Verde, and all hands gone down with her. It was my son's ship! "Mrs. Chappell, my last hope went down in the Rosicrucian. It matters nothing now who knows my story, or who does not. It is all as one to 4 " MABT MAKBUBI." --Cassell's Magazine. * " AI • -m- German Railway Travel. Charles Dudley Warner, in one of his entertaining letters from Germany to the Hartford Courant, says of the Prus­ sian railways: " However, I don't mean to complain of German railways, they are safe and comfortable; if you want speed and damages you Americans know where to go. A compartment of the second class holding eight persons, in a German carriage, is a snug place for a winter ride. It is so well upholstered that you can ride on the seats without fatigue and sleep at your ease. The compartment of the first class is in the same carriage, and differs only in a little more luxurious upholstering. For win­ ter travel,, when there is nothing to see, these compartments are very nice; for summer I prfefer an American palace-car. But when the wind raves over a desolate country there is a feeling of snugness in these little apartments. The windows are all closed, everybody Ugfcts hi® cigar, the lady, if one happens w>be present, doesn't ever think of saying that she likes smoke--that is taken for granted-- &uu mouu ike air ib bu thick that you might imagine yourself in a beer hall en­ joying yourself to the utmost. Not that you are obliged to ride in smoke ; on probably all the trains there are compartments distinctly set apart for the not-smoking, and generally were is a separate compartment for ladies. It has become the fashion since I was in Germany some years ago, to heat the carriages by steam pipes, and the pas­ sengers themselves can regulate the in­ flow of the steam. The oars heated in this manner are so warm that you can take off overcoat and hat and sit, often with the window down, as if at home. But the heating by steam is not univer­ sal, and occasionally the traveler is put into a cold ear and consoled only with a foot-warmer, a tube filled with hot water, which speedily cools, and in the process seems to abstract all the natural heat The Worcester Disaster. The reservoir, which was the main source of tl.o water supply of the city of Worcester, Mass., burst on the after­ noon of the 30th of March, and an im­ mense volume of water swept down the side of Leicester bill, through New Worcester, South Worcester, and Q'ain sigamond, and all outlying villages. For­ tunately the course of the flood passed to one side of the thickly-settled portion of the city, and as ample warning had been given of the danger, much of the loss of life and property which would have attended a sudden irruption was avoided. The reservoir was about five miles.from the City Hall, and was nearly 500 feet above the level of Main street. There had been for several years a small leak in the south side of the dam, the water working under an eight-feet stone archway which contains waste and sup­ ply pipes, breaking into the arch about twenty feet from the water. Attention had several times been called to the de­ fective condition of the dam, and a good deal of excitement was shown just after the Williamsburg dam break, and the ca­ lamity of the Mill river valley; but the reservoir was neglected. The scene at the breaking of the dam ts^grand and terrible. The water gushedythrough the banks in a dozen places at once, and a general/ alarm started the Busy workmen away from their position to the heights above^^and- out »? danger. An immense torrent of dark water rushed down the hill, sweep- ing everything in its course. The dam was a substantial structure, rebuilt and strengthened in 1873, and pronounced safe by the best engineers. The pond held 775,000,000 gallons of water. The results of the break were disastrous all down the stream. One mils from the dam lies Cherry valley, in Leicester and Worcester, a narrow gorge deftfced all along with dams, reservoirs, and sub­ stantial mills, all of which were swept away or badly injured. When the dam gave way the torrent poured down the valley, sweeping over the first dam below, twenty feet in height, taking off James A. Smith's mill bodi­ ly. A. E. Smith's mill, next on the stream, and several operatives' dwell­ ings went down the stream at Ashworth, and .Tones' mill aad fee boiler-house, dye-house, stock-house and gas-house went off. A large boiler was floated off and danced on the top of the waves for quite a distance. At the next mill, Hunt's, the dye-house was taken off and the mill undermined. The flood lasted at these points but a few minutes,, the fall being quite rapid and the extreme points only a mile apart. Ample notice was given, and all movables, wool, stock, etc., were saved from the mills. Below this point the stream makes a detour to the south through Janesville, which the water passed safely. Returning toward the city, it swept away 500 feet of the track of the Boston and Albany road. Drcsers rnew FJSIEL !!I*E -FERE* .PNSS-RNGER. • ' SU-Egc Funeral 'Procession. x recently arrived at Santa Fe. There were twenty freight wagons in the pro- c^ion, and each wagon was a hearse, loaded with the remains of soldiers, in different stages of decay. . These had been buried, one by one, ranging through a period of several years at Fort Craig, and recently the remains were ordered removed to the Government cemetery at Santa Fe. The bodies were exhumed, packed in gunny sacks, and each one labled, just like sacks of ore. Only one body, that of Lieut. Drew, waa transported in a coffin. This officer Sirished of thirst on the Jomade del uerta, six years ago^ His remain*, when exposed to inspection at Santa Fe, pre­ sented a rather natural appearance. The tongue, or what renmiied of it, still pro­ truded from the mouth, evidencing the suffering attending his horrible death. In this singular and ghastly procession were one hundred and forty bodies. The wagons discharged their skeletonic freight in the Government cemetery, and each gunny sack and contents was drop­ ped into a separate grave. There were no religious or military services or ceremon­ ies, and the men hired to accompany the procession tossed the sacks of bones with as little care and feeling as they would boxes of merchandise. The American Horses in England. The Centennial year, as well as being the most notable in the home-history of the American turf, will derive additional interest from the invasion of England by Mr. M. H. Sanford's stable, under the management of Charley Littlefield, who seventeen years ago accompanied Mr. Ten Broeek to the old country, when the latter gentleman made his invasion with Stoyke, Prior, Prioress, Satellite (formerly Sherritt) and Umpire. Of the horses Mr. Sanford has taken across, and that have now been in England nearly five months, at least two have made a high local reputation on the American turf, and three others are prn amimrf for their breeding. we PB«F. SWING believes in novels, " when they make their central love af­ fairs decorate great social ideas." Making Friends with the Press. While in St. Joseph we were intro­ duced to a reporter of one of the city Sapers, said to be the oldest in the City, [e took us cordially by the hand with the remark : " How do you do, Mr. L. ; how cloyou dot" # After some little^ conversation Invited Km to s1$pinand fihbibe. " Certainly, Captain, certainly I Would as soon drink with you as anybody." So drank. Presently we asked him to drink again. " Certainly,, Major. I never refuse to drink with gentlemen. Here's to you !" A short pause, and we repeated the invitation a third time. The tears came in the old man's eyes as he grasped our hand and said : " Colonel, you do me |>roud. Am glad I met yon. Here's my We saw we were growing in his esti­ mation, so we presently remarked that he looked dry, and asked him what he would take. " WMsky and sugar, General; whis­ ky and sugar. It has been my steady diet for twenty-five years; I never take any other." We concluded there was no chanoe for further promotion, so we bade our old friend good-by ; and as we left him we noticed that he wore one boot, one caiTaaback't'liwe, jio ;siwfc'«gs, a pur of4i 1JuGn 7*":ts, 2t!CTtsined by one su«pender, 2nd a shirt as 'nufaisiliur to the waler as' he was himself. But he was happy and appreciated us, aa waa evident from the following pcrz^aa!, .vh' ~h appeared in the paper the next morning : • . "Maj. Gen„ L , of Denver, CoL, is getting outside provisions at the Paci­ fic, until Uncle Johnnie begins to fear a famine. The General is a whole-souled, genial gentleman, & Christian and a scholar, and we hope he will visit us often."--Denver New*. Gored to Heath. 1 A farmer named Elser, living near Leavenworth, Kansas, went out one morning, recently, to catch a calf, but enoountered a bull. The bull gored Mia to death, terribly mangling and muti­ lating his body. The infuriated animal, had to be shot before Elser's body oonld be recovered. THE jp rench Minister of Marine re­ ports a gradual falling off in the sardine fisheries owing to the inadequate supply of bait, the roe of codfish from the American fisheries having heretofore been relied on for that purpose. It has been found, however, that grasshoppers pounded into a paste imitated the roe so exactly that the most knowing of the sardines cannot distinguish the differ­ ence ; and accordingly the French Gov­ ernment has imported large quantities of the insects from Algeria in order to try thn new bait on a large scale. Should the experiment prove an entire success the grasshopper problem which has so puzzled the Western agriculturist may be considered- solved. Scalped. A horrible accident happened at a woollen factory at Arnprior, Can., a few days since. Mary Stuart, one of the factory girls, while sweeping the floor, was caught by a revolving shaft by the hair of the bead, and the whole ®f her scalp was torn off from the nape of the neck to the eyebrows. One eye is dam­ aged and both ears are gone. It was the most sickening sight, to see a bare skull with bright eyes in it. She does not ex­ perience any great pain, and only 00m- plains of a fullness in her head. It in­ flammation does not set in she will in all probability recover. JUST FOR FUN. . BY JOSIPHINK POLLUljjk. If g? Jf®* warning and out of bed,.. j*t V ,ap on frowzy head, t'yp\ And, seeing him act like a crazy clown, fes" We know that the day will be upside dowifL * He civet the kitten a shower-bath Ami work* r np to a atate of • i . i j * k e t t l e t o R o v e r ' s t a i l And drope bin cap in the milking-piffl. T h J V l T t * f r o m ̂ e r n i c e w a r m n e s t ; J ^> , ty8 "SI1 Kee,e h*ve no chance to reat; £w they WIM*dle; and how they »l Aa if they knew it was Just for fun ! ( . He teases his sitter and pulls her eats, t i And pulls her hair till he brings tt?te!irs, y" "2 ^U§h ^ her dolls and toys lhat she sayB she had rather not play with the boys. Sometimes he carries his fun so far That he's quite an rude as the street boys ate. "° w>ugE/ *•*"""*' *• " sacaii is. veiiuugb. He's such a clown he don't know , , ' How deep in mischief a boy may |ig| r - And yet so sorry when harm is doS?&- we Mat help thinking 'twai just for fun. Fith ana i'oint. A CBTSTAI< ghost--A glass shade. • FAST horses--Those that are safely secured. THB mother's heart is the child's school-room. f How TO raise beets--foke hold of the tops, and pull. / iN^thesS days no lady appears per­ fectly unruffled. THAT was a rum fellow who got mad because Santa Cruz didn't bring him a present. THE most effective way for a boy to learn a bee sees--By putting his finger into the hive, A PoiiinoAX) problem. Can a cross­ eyed foreigner be natural-eyzed f In­ quire at any court of record. " I ALWAYS thought I sheuld never rear that chill," said an old lady of ninety, on hearing Of the death of her son, aged seventy. A NBW " lady clerk " in a dry goods store, who objected to nicknames, began by addressing one of the little cash boys as "Oassius. VIEK the spider left the ark did he walk or take a fly ? --Exchange.--We can't say. There antenrur, data as we know of bearing on that question. "WHAT, is conscience ?" asked a school­ master. 41 An inward monitor," replied a bright little fellow. " And what is a monitor!" " One of the iron dads." THB AUa California says'that it is as useless to try to keep the American ad­ venturers out of the Black Hills as to try to keep a woman out of a dry goods store.' "MAMMA, don't you want some nice candy f" said a shrewd little girl. " Yes, dear, I should like some. " Then if you'll buy some I'll give you half 1" lisped the politic girl.,. ' - WHHSK an Albany girl 'threw snuff into her lover's face because he was cool in his wooing, the indignant youth re­ marked : " Miss Julia, I've had 'snuff of this, and you will never see me again." THZBE was a crooked man In a crooked Western town, Who had a crooked action In hie a crooked crown. He bought a crooked still. And crooked whisky made, And ail got rich together In the crooked little tratf*. Chronicle. " Do YOU 'spose little girls have to'eaf oatmeal in heaven, mamma?" asked a sunny -haired little lady of six, as she was worrying down her morning ttauwi-iiil, her eye resting longingly on a steaming pile of buckwheats the while. " Now.WrLiiiE, do have alittle oourage. When I have a powder to lake, I don't like it any more than yon do ; but I make up my mind that I will take it, and I do!" " And when I have a powder to take," replied Willie, " I make up my mind that I won't take it, and I don't! How HE sang it: Sprig, sprig, beautiful sprig,. Happiest eeasod ob the j'ear, Haste thee, nuyd, ad wid thee brig April, wid its amides and tear. Cacho-o-o! Cach-e-e! Cach.e-e-!'! A CRUSTY bachelor's objection to ladies with beautiful teefcii is, thai nine out of ten of them would laugh at a funeral. Two VNDXAGK worthies met on the street one day. "Jamie," says the richer of the two, "are ye never gaun to pay iiie that aocoont? I'm ill aff for siller the BOO." "Oh," AYS Tr.rrie, "I havena seen ye this lang time. Gould ya chc&ugea tv.onty-poond note ?" "Ay could I, say* tlxO Li drd, drawing out his pocket-book. "Ah, weol," cays Jamie, "ye're no needin' siller, then," and walked on." AN old curmudgeon was sunning him­ self on the postofflce steps yesterday forenoon when a lady came along, hav­ ing a letter in her hand. She looked up and down the building, hesitated, and asked the WMI : "Where do you mail your letters here?" "I always ma.il mine inside the building," he calmly replied, "but you can do as you please about it--there's no law to compel you to I" , The look die pave him would have knocked a street ear off the traok.--Detroit JRree Preea. A Recommendation. When Justice Potter readied his office yesterday morning a man about forty years old and decidedly old-fashioned in looks was there waiting for him. He talked about the weather for awiiile, and then remarked: " A man down here on Lamed street sent me to you, saying that you could reoommend me to some nice-looking widow." The Oourt has become used to suoh applications, and without betraying any surprise, he gave the stranger written directions to find a widow who lives in the northern part of the city. The man went away, but returned in the course of two hours, one of his eyes growing black and blue, a scratch cu his nose, a torn coat-collar, and a generally unset­ tled look. He sat down, pulled up his Eant leg to exhibit the marks of a do ite, pointed to his eye and grimly ob served: " I believe you recommended me to : widow ?" "Yes." . " But she didn't want to marry--dicUyf seem to care anything about the hop bonds of wedlock!" # "Ididn't think she would!"wigfr , his honor, as he turned to his law-boo 1 again. The stranger looked at him for five six minutes, and then went out witho another word.--Detroit Free Press. R

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