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• ' 4 v 1 - if <a>ni) mi jTirtWHTin fwrim if in «l »«wr r IB ,'itMii •.frnnnnugm I m. . i. .nr •, .„•» * * • *4 i* {* " • t1 * *"**' * v»<" •*' : " " 1 * ?> i"Av» -t yty:. i. fcS^S; $, /»v #». . .MH i jpippiift •vt '• -v #JP^' wwr - " Pied^ed hut Truth, to Liberty and Law; No Floors Win us and no Fear Shall Awe. •:% VOL. i. i ^ § 1 . 1 » dMX "Si'-s.S) 'jjiKntJt' M'HENIIY, ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, JULY 12, 1876, ;,p %^;«Wf'a4 •;Sr --: NO. 50. ^•s&ih if • or. Published Every Wednesday by J. VAN SLYKK Editor and Publisher. Office in Riverside Block, Over Smith Bros, & Co.'a Store. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: T One Tear, (in Advtinoe,). ,.»%...fl 5® I# not Paid within Throe Months,., . .2 00 ftubscriptions received for three or six months j« the same proportion. BUSINESS CARDS. - it. T. IIKOWN, M. D. JJHYSlCIAN and Surgeon. Ofllco in IVrick Block over F. <». Glares Clothing Store fater Street. McHe.nry 111. 111. E. A. 15EEU8M. D. iHrsicUN nud Surjrcon. Oflice at resilience, tvro'door* vre$t of Post 03B.ce, Me Henry O. J. HOWAUD, M I). •HTSidAX and suirgeon. Office f t the store of Howard & Son, McHlMi,"r, Til. * F. M wrc<*. MERCHANT Tai-lnr, and denier In Heady Made C!otliiii}i. <'l<>;iis, c.'t«Mimcr<»s, VewHiio Ac., Onexloor north of Colby'.-> Drop:Store McIIenry UL / HICflARD BISHOP, Attorney and colnski.or at l.wv. OAtce in wtr of Mip'»V,iv i;i shop's Bank North Ki<!e Public Square, WoodsincV. 111. <JEO. A. IHTCKUV, NOTARY PPBLIC. Conveyancer and In. stirunce Arrent. Ofii<e at Kncklin A Rteven's Stovn, net»r fbc MUenrv, III. E. E. R1CI1 VRI>< TTAS a complete Abstrnei op Titles to land XI iii Mi'Hcnrv County, IilMioi.*?. ,OlB<'e with County Clevk. Woodstock. 111. P. A. POTTER. RICHMOND, ILL.. Votary Public ami Con­veyancer. tT. S. Claim, Insurance a Collet-tins: AtfenI. FK. IIECHTLJ:. HOUuF, sip-n am! C8atriage Painter, Mellen-i TU. AYi'll do till work promptly and at reasonable ratc^. . E. M. OWK.V. GENERAL l^ealei* and Manufacturers Apeni in 1.• ̂ !i^t,'•? Farm M.whinery. Prices low and Term* favorable. MdiiFAIfV, ..... ILLINOIS. S GEO. SClIliEINIiif. A LOON and lte«uurinf. Nearly opposite the Parker Hoii-t, Meltcnry 111. flfSrFirst-Clas.s Hilliard and Pool TaWes. J. IIONSI.ETT, SALOON am! lie l:tn .•ans. Nearly ' opjv»«»ite Ovcn'K Mill. McJIciirv, 111. FfeshOvsters fcrved iip.in :•>!>' ah;ttJ» do- ireil, ov ior «tile V»y ibe C:n». *' attf'uOOU STABLINU FOR IIOltS JOS.WMKDEMASN SAI.OON and HiM'.;urv>m. Near the De^v>t Mclienry Id. K>iai-<lfis t»v the day or week at >•<•:'».-on iMe t.m1- . Wann and cold tneals at all JWfiood siablins for Horses..^ McllEN R V LIVERY sTAHI.E. n. E. VKtll'I'M AN. i'ronrietor. First class rjKs. m'UIi or without.' drivers, fnrnixlied nt reasonable i'.ui.'?. Teaming of all kinds done on short., not ice. \V. W. ELJ.SWORTH. BREEDER» -le Cclcbi aied Mapie Hop. Also Litfb i .* <>• tVjrk ISraliina Fwl-s. rpiis Sililpped to all ;»«»,!!< - i»y P. O. Ad - iSire«», \V»K>d.st«'<•!>. iM., KOIIK^t' Mftii'lTT. A W A t'( 11 - \t A l\ KR of IS venrs J\ •• lias located at I' t.Ut, and wit1 jsiv.C bis atten- o;i io the 1'epairiiig <d Clocks. • 'ai«-bcr., ,Vr. Shop in Watson J >>•>!.r SlnVf All Work W7ttrranted. PE'i'Ell LEIOKEM. REPAIRS VYati bes. Clocks and Jewelrv of ail kind--. M-.o l?en,i.|". Vwdinf in tbe'iiot pofcsib'u nia^ncv «»i >.li,»ri "o"i-c nt v Bonslble i.iUv . Ai>" \ n>iiiis fov sale. Shop first door North oi lii\ei ^ido lilock, Mellenry III. McUKXUY HOUSE. Mcllenrv, 111. John .KArjies Proprietor. Centrally located and tile best of accom­ modations funnelled. Charges reasonable. RICHMOND HOUSE. RICHMOND ILLINOIS. Frank Foster Pro­prietor. <loo»l atHwromotitUione for all uarties. Sample room* for Salesmen. Livery Stable attached. Public Hall for Lectures, Shows &« ., The McHcnry Brewery. King & Herbes, yroprietors. I fl^IIE 1)0.--t of Bet'i' shipped to any parf of tlie I JL country and warranted as represented.-- lOrtlerd solicited and promptly attended io. FRED. RENICII, CIGAR MANUFACTURER, AN I)- WHOLESALE TOBACCONIST. WOODSTOCK, ILLINOIS. For Sale. The undersi'.ri'i"! o'lV, ; to.' sale, ine Brick S tore mi \V < ter 'Streel, in Lhe villaue <>t iMcIIcnrv, now occitvtiisl bv Mr.'. C. M. Mmcv, s a Mill'ii>«'i-y >t!»i-<\' U is lt\.S.'., the upper i<>rv b ; i>)C i in i s i ;ed o i l a^ . i r t - id rnrc . T U H M 8 tH.vson abi.k. ii)(|>iire of C. II. Mowkv M< Hi-iir\. 111. Nov. 1st For Sale. rhe undersigned oC s v.r i Oc bis property, nituatud oppo^itf! i Uivei side.llouse, in licllenry, on i iu* most reasonable term-. |'hure is a )«ood andisubstar.tial building, snit- Ible for a store w other i.u^i.ie-s, the upper I'.irtof which infilled up for a io.-.;dem e. Co;>- leelod w iih this is four a»'rmi ol' <-.3>oiee land, I ;rood brira avnl -o.ne fruit. 1'ersous cynteai. ll.utinK !>ai'cha:.io^ williintl if to their inter -t to eail and'look this promjrtv over. . ' " " r . A. Mi'IIemy Iil. Au^. ICth KT5. S. BEHNETT, M. !>., SUICGKON and Accoucher. T>Iaenpes of Women a Specialty. Office and neflidence on Olay .Street, Woodstock, 111. W. H. BUCK, M. D., HOMEOPATHIC Phrticlan and Surgeon.-- Ofllce Eaf?t Side Public. Sijuare, Wood­ stock, III. Office hours ll to IS A. M., and t to 4 P.M. Waufcegan Cigar iasiufactory, E. Ml. î rSfiSIS, Proprietor. Man«fft«tnrer and Wholesale Dealer in CIGARS, TOBACCO, . -- A^>- Pipes of Every l>esciiption. 55 GEXESEK STREET. WATJIvEGAN, ILL. O, W., OWEN, WATCH MAKER & JEWELER, MolrKNHY ILL., A'*'? •!•••.n :• P ! Swi.«« '.ie ' ; '. i ievi;-- Mi the uv.Miv, Silver Sjk>ou|i, I>ealer ih "!• " WateheH, CI'" !, I o countrv. SiUer, pi &e., AI .SO A< • E N T F < Ml T11E Weber anil Brptlbiiry Pianos ANDTMil Oi'^an ! tVliieh we iH.v!ie\ e t.i be-!lie 1'i)rpran lit the markel. \VeAhbtk wc.kuow i.h.n. by evpe-'i^ eiife, and we believe i(, e»r it Js IxirUed up by the Besl Wusirians in the World. 1 .'li so -oli oth"i' «), '.";>ii-».t Ir -s pricv' ili.'u the K-tey, but cud as srtMwl. . JulV £?. Mid tiieiu to be O. W. OWEN. ISUSiNESS CA ii-DS. new kindofcivil service reform. The temptation to use the patronage of the Government for political pur-" poses is bo great that many persons of sagacity despair of our ever being able to eflect anything substantial in the way of Civil Service Reform. There will always be ambitions men anxious to mount to place and power. But the only classes which they can convert iu- to a step-ladder are those who hold office. The masses of the people en­ gaged in private-business cannot be used at all in that posjtiou, for the rea­ son that they ar« too independent. In this condition of things the idea pre­ vails in some quarters that if the evil of which com plaint is made cannot be extirpated, it can at least be restrained and modified.^ Actuated by this view of the case, Mr. Scott Lord has introduced in the House, of Representatives an amend ment to the Constitution, providing that all Federal officers below the grade of Collector, shall hereafter be elected by the people of the Districts in which they discharge^heir functions but at the samfe time shall be subject to removal by the President- for miscon­ duct. Quito a number of journals who' have Leeti earnestly advocating Civil Service Reform have been captivated with this proposition, and regard it as iibout the best thing that can be done. But it does not seem to us that much would Ik* gained by the change. The oftiees of the Federal Government would still bo spoils in the same 6ense as they are at present. The struggle for thepi would be transferred f rom the ante-.rooms of the politicians to the grog-shops and primary meetinsrs. The same turning out of men who had ac­ quired a knowledge of their duties to make way for gieen hands, would go on, If anything at all would be effect­ ed it would be a strengthening of the "Machine" politicians against the Executive of the nation, and we do not know that that would he a "reform" for which a serious or earnest eflort should be made. In addit ion it is not certain that the scheme is practical. Officers would have to be elected with some regard to the functions which they perform. Thus Custom-house Inspectors,'because they discharge duties which might >y<m of the State would have to be elected on Stale tickets; while a postmaster would have to seek local sulIVage ex­ clusively. The incongruities of this nature that Would arise are quite nu­ merous and need not be recapitulated. « 'ivil Service Reform will come, if it ever does, in the wav that it was brought about i n England. I t w i l l take the form of restriction on the ap­ pointing power to removal for cause, imposed either by positive law or cus­ tom. Nor can it be said that we have been making no progress in this direc­ tion. In most of the police depart­ ments of the country the rule that no oflicer shall lose his place except for misconduct, prevails. Ti*e same is also observable in all paid fire departments, at least so far as the subordinates are concerned; and yet twenty years ago these two branches of the public ser­ vice were as much subject to "rotation"' as the Federal offices now are. The rule has always been maintained in the army and navy. It will not be a great step from the plane already reached to Civil Service Reform iu the Federal Government. No .doubt the il 1 success that has attended the movement so far may have thrown many of its most earnest advocates in dispair, but with the evidences of progress that are above set forth, we cannot see that t ha t there i s auy reason for such a w i l d experiment as that suggested by Mr. Scolt Lord, and least of all for aban­ doning the field altogether. MURPHY & BISHOP. BANKERS Office North side of Public Square, WOODSTOCK, ILLINOIS. I^R YNS YOTS.a tJeneral . change iJu.-me- Intere.-t allowed Itny and veil Unit <»old i.\<d>.-!n;;e. oi.e." oa.aii pi iiHMy.tl citie.- fov sati nankin? and F.x- Deposit* fje.i-eiveit.-- 'rial l>opi>'ii-.. I Mates Ilonds, Gold, Europe ' » 'x^i 11; < Fox River Valley Mills. Mr* ' \ H. 0. LUFF, Praprigjpr. McHenry - - - - Illinois. CU-\ -TANT !. Y ON IIAN D. • CtSTO >1 GXIiyDIIYO Done promptly,and snti=frr;ion guaranteed Thankful foriHvst ftivoi-- a eo«iiinuance of patronage is re-spec i'nlly solicited. *®-Tlie Hijrhost Market Price in Cash for good Milling Wheat. 11. J). LUFF, - Slices-sot' io Owen ]>ros. W. H. SANFORD, Merchant Tailor. side of WOODSTOCK, ILL. *A gooil Stock of Fine Cloths for SititinffS al­ ways on hand. Suit-made to order aiul a at warranted- Give me a call. In the store of C. II. Dickinson, East Public Square, Woodstock III., Sent, f W. H. SANFORD. 'til, 137:.. MOUNT'!" ROOT B I T T E R S . THIS BITTERS, for it is known as one of the i n t r i n s i c p r o p e r t i e s , Best Tonics of the Age. Asa laxative Liver Cleaning, lilood Pnrifv- infr Medic ioc. i> ha- noi 'it- superior. Itshouhi be taken io <| uanritios front :i Table«poon full to a -uia 11 wine ^li-s full three times « day, aceordinf? to the sfen.u't Ii and ay'C oi lhe lava- id or lhe deyrree of ^ickne- . For Saie by tSio Cass or Bottle, -nv - L. KAPPL.EIJ, Patentee, Wo^xlslot'li, 111. Vtlla*58 Lot For Sale. I; ot 1. I l l i.. v> . McJIeivy, rontiuninn' viiicii i^ well fenced and on which isanOiv'iind'of'-txw1 trui'. i-now o tie red for-ale on re i-on:'ble tenu-. It is one of the coos. .iiM;•»!.; uj_- in tin* \illa:rc. For ('iirilv n..[uire at the 1'rwNiiK-Vt.Eli Uih v . Meli^nry, ill., jtaicii i t. l-7t;. JB^Bv a recent decision of the Su­ preme Court all tax levies in Chicago for municipal purposes for the years 1872.1873 and 1874 were illegal and cannot be collected except at the op­ tion of the owners of the property. The taxes already paid cannot be re­ covered. The amount of unpaid back taxes, under these levies amounts to 81,304,000. The city papers are urging delinquents to l'orego their rights on the premises and "pay up ' 1 l ike l i t t l e men. Our judgment of the average tax payer, who twv or three years back t a x o n h i s p r o p e r t y , i . i t h a t o n e m i g h t as weil expect giain 1'ioin a inuiiciii stalk, us to expect him to pay up, when informed that he "don't have to."' Farm For Sale. 'jpil E undersigned oilers for a ids farm in •on sis tins of • a good state irie«; nd good gv, Fruit iu lhe Town of Greenwood, • i'lfl.M'i s (i• tir-t ci-isa l.i; d, un<jc of cultivation, wcil weicr--\ pi Titnaer :i.!jo!..iur, j^ooii biti'.Ii K°"d variety, uyfrfPT1 ever/:binjr"iwinstltntin a -.rood farm. Will be diviiied if desired. Terms very low. Inquire on C e itri'ini. e- of t • ISO. II. CiAUltlsU.N . Greenwood III Ai>iii irth, ldTO. filarT ardotis for seven of/fTie Indiana whisky ring, were made out and for­ warded ou the 26ih ultiim^. Th^it names are McGriff, Ebervviug, Slmond- son, Snyder. Lewis, Miller and Philips. Grant will iiave the thieves all out by election time,, especially in Ohio and I n d i a n a , a s the Republ ican party are i n need of their votes. Bristow is no longer iu the Treasury, and the places c.iu easily bo filled up by penitentiary pimps without Vein;; molested. BICH MJSN AND TIIK PItKSIIiENCY. No ricli 4r*a» shall ever enter into the enjoyments of the Pnesidential office by sheer reason of his wealth. A man of conaiderble means may occasionally, perchance, pay somewhat for a seat in the United SttUes Senate, but never can he reach higher through a mere expenditure of money, however lavish the exjp«|iditure might be. An elec­ tion to |^i elevated position from a single Spite is one thing, and is, per­ haps. to#apt. sometimes, to be a delib­ erate act of bargain and sale. An elec­ tion to ttjePresidency, on such terms is insposMbk*. Too many States and a single osauized party, in the event of such an attempt ever being made (which Sjfnot at all probable) would decisively settle the question. Van- derbilt,lPith all of his superfluous bank accnunt«|fof Tom Scott, or any other railroad,Jpaonnrch', could itever buy his way intqji yearlease of the White House. . ^ Here perpetn Rich m of mod to jiart! ;he leading guarantee of the of the American Republic, men and poor men . and men •e means are elected, accor- ar circumstances, and as oc- oaslonal^mes serve,to the Chief Ex- ecutivesh|jp of the nation, Tiiere have been but psvee originally rich men oc- uupant-s |>|the high Chair of State- John Quiiicy Adams. Martin Van Buren and Jaiaiei Buchanan; and neither of tho>io w^ a mill ionaire , and neither vvas eletpj|e<1 because of his wealth. Others f?$re iu comfortable circum­ stances, moderately poor, as Lincoln once saiS pf himself. Monroe, the good Virginia*! who served two terms as Presideatifnnd who neither dissipated nor was ̂ spendthrift, died in poverty in New Tfork, and was buried by sur­ viving friends at their own expense. All of the Presidents, it is believed, with the exception of Van Buren. lived in offico^'within their income. Mr. Van BureS .-vith his private gold table service, it'ifjl up the Presidential digni­ ty by drawing l iberal ly on his own purse, aq^jdrew none of his salary un­ til the eviration of his term. Wash­ ington, 3c 8'erson, Polk, Fillmore, Pierce etui others, were frugal ami eon- scientious'^nceining the appropria­ tion of Secret Service fund. Lin­ coln, itj|iji%lid shortly after his death salary. * s there not another Abraham L i ncoln in all this broad land! Is there not some good, true man, whom we can call to the Presidential chair, who will write the proclamation for the emancipation of Labor as did Lincoln for the blacks? We have such men, but they do Uot deal in railroad securities, or bonds, or stocks, or sell their politi­ cal influence for money. We have had our Washington and our Lincoln. We need another. The panting nation yearns "for some deliverer. It must learn to deliver itself and the instru­ ment to write i t s deliverance ' oft the scroll of history will stand before the people and seize the pen of inspiration and write it. The narrow political fight for the highest office in Jjie gift of this great people, is a disgrace to the people. We want no scheming politician, no hard money worshipper, no hater of popular liberty! Wo want a man of the people, out of the people, full of their thoughts, in deep sympathy with them. None other can have our support. The moneyed classes are grasping after absolute political power They mean to have a President they can control and use. Who shall rule, the bondholders or the people ?--Labor Tribune. £^*At Dubuque, Iowa- a terrible storm occurred ou tha night of the Fourth. A fearful storm swept over the cltv carrying death and destruction in its wake. Rain coinmonced falling about ten ton o'clock, and continued^ for three hours, with a solid sheet of water accompanied with thunder and lightning, making the worst storm ever experienced. All the bridges on wagon roads and railroads are swept away, and no trains can arrive or de­ part for several days. Houses were carried down stream by the torrents and their occupants drowned. At Rockdale, two miles from Dubuque, by the breaking of alnildam on a stream above the town, every building in the place was swept away. There are forty-two persons missing, and nine teen dead bodies have already beeu discovered. fgyA Texas editor, after an inter­ view with an unusual and unwelcome visitor writes;'Hereafter Texaus and others havfrig likp business, will please send a postal card, as it disturbs our equanimity to have slouch hats and six shooters invade our sanctum. That editor must be an importation from the Eastern States. A Texan |o the manor born isn't disturbed by civili­ ties of this sort. OUR WASHINGTON LETTER WA8HIKOTON, D. C.. July 6th, 18H. There are some queer fish in Con­ gress, chief of whom Is "Blue Jeans" Williams, Chairman of the House of Committee of Accounts. So tar does he carry his Ideas of economy that he opposes the expenditure of every dol­ lar as if it was to come out of his own pocket. That his ideas are not simply sentimental is proved by the fact that he offered 1f Congrees would abolish the office of the messenger who lias charge of giving out the soap, brushes, and other such articles, that he would take charge of them himself. Last winter he offered a resolution that the House hold no tnore night sessions so as* to save fuel andJight. Before he became Chairman of his Committee, the mem­ bers refreshed themselves with lomon- ade and iced tea. which was paid for out of the Contingent Fund, but he hais now put a stop to this expense. The Senate Chairman of Accounts is troub­ led by no such f«eru<lles. and furnishes these "articles in liberal abundance. The consequence is that the members ofthrt House all go over to the. Senate whenever they feel dry. The House expanse for tUese articles is now hoth- wliile that of the Senate is more than doubled, and has to be paid for by the pcople.'all the same. Does it make any difference at which end the barrel leaks ? In the latter part of May the Naval Investigating Committee heard that the Atlantic and Pacific Telegraph Co. had sold all its old dispatches as old paper,and at once sent on to New York city to get possession of thenit and had them brought on to this city. The object was to get possession of all the dispatches that had passed be­ tween the Secretary of the Navy and the Contractor Caitell; in regard to Jay Cooke's affairs; and the Real Es­ tate Po61 of this city. These dispatch­ es number 100.000 and weigh 1,4000 pounds. A resolutian has just been in­ troduced into the House calling upon the Committee to explain its action in regard to these dispatches, and to kuovv why dispatches relating to private business should be held by them. S. S. Cox, Speaker protcm of the House left this city to attend the St. and hope i n that time to reconcile their differences. All of the Heads of Dt>- partments say that If the House bill to passed that it will become necessary far pass deficiency bills luslde of lit moatiM. PATKKTt, Wffltalty In Getting IbrrieC A couple In Kingston, who undertook to get married some time since, went accompanied by the bridesmaid and groomsman to church, and wore ushered into the sacred edifice and escorted to the alter by the sexton, who, however, got the parties rather mixed up, sta­ tioning the bridesmaid next to the bridegroom, and the bride and grooms­ man in corresponding wrong places. The clergyman not noticing tlie mis­ take, went on with the ceremony, and began marrying the bridesmaid to the bridegroom, when the bride served an injunction on him by exclaiming that she was the marrying party. The mistake having been remedied, the clergyman made another attempt, and the performance went smoothly along until it came time, for the bridegroom to produce the ring which was essential to the completion of the ceremony. But when that gentleman felt in his vest pocket it wasn't there; in the oth­ er, not there; in the trousers pocket, not there; and then he felt to the bot­ tom of the remaining pocket, and ft* nally exclaimed: "Well, sure, there is a hole in my packet, and the >ing has slipped down into my boot." And tho only way to finish the ccremeny was for the bridegroom to sit down, pulljoff his boot, and put the ring where i t ought to have gone, and walk out with liis bride, all of which he did. to be Chairman. Scarcely had he gone when the House deposed him and elected Mr Saylor in his pla^e, who now says that he will not resign in Mr. Cox's favor when he return®. Mr. Cox was very indignant.in regard to this, and denounces it as a shabby trick. Senator Morrill, who was appointed and confirmed as Secretary of the Treasury before he had accepted the position, has not yet decided what he will do. He feels sure of a re-election of Senator, but has no assurance of be­ ing retained as Secretary in tho Cabi­ net that is soon to be formed; and does not care to give up a certainty for an uncertainty, it is now very doubtful whether he will accept. A. M. Clapp, the Congressional Prin­ ter who was convicted by the House Investigating Committee for robbery, rascality, and fraud, has petitioned the Senate for a new investigation, and the Senate have agreed to give him one. Anything more ridiculous can scarcely be imagined. He professed to be ready for the House investigation and appeared day after daji before them, until he saw that his rascalities were being brought to light, when he told them that they had no right to pro- oeed, and refused to attend any longer. He now flies to the Senate to have his lacerated feelings and worse than dam­ aged reputation healed. The witnesses for the Belknap im peachment are all being subpoenaed to appear to-day. Whether the trial will go on or be postponed until next No­ vember remains to be seen. Ex-Senator Carpenter has been be- foro tho Committee appointed to in­ vestigate the Milwaukee whisky fraud3 and has not only cleared himself of all connection with them , but showed that he lost his're-election as Senatorsimply because he was too honorable to buy votes. An almost absolute feeling oi terror has been existing throughout this city all the week for tear that the Appro­ priation Bills would not be passed in time. This feeling can be better un­ derstood when it is stated that almost the entire population ot the city is either in the Government employ, or is in some way dependent upon the Government. Orders had already been sent to all the Navy Yards in the country to close on Friday, but fortunately for them the Naval Bill, after having been re­ duced about 31,500,000 was passed. The House is determined not to yield an inch on the otlier bills, and the Sen­ ate is equally firm, and the consequence is that they have extended the fiscal year ten days, so as to prevent any stoppage of .the wheels of Government IgyThe advertisements in a newapa- per are more road than the thoughtless imagine. They are the map of a large class of men's capabilities in lite. Tho man who contemplates doing business in a distant town takes up a local paper and in its advertising columns sees a true picture of tho men he has to deal With; a complete record of tho town, its commerce, its home trade, the fa­ cilities of store keepers, its banks, and in almost everjr case he can estimate the character of the men who are solic­ iting the public patronage. The ad­ vertising page is a map of the town, a instead of being the opinionated pro­ duction of oue man, it is freighted with the life-thouglftsofahuni^ed. As the Assessor approached a dwelling he was observed, from the win­ dow, by the lady of the house. She rush­ ed Into the kitchen and dragged two healthy-looking bull pups from under the stove, and dropped them into the ,cellar. The collector rapped. Smiling pleasantly, she opened the door. Then those provoking dogs set up one united and prolongedliowl, and the assessor wrote In his book, "Two dogs, 'dollar apiece. A Dutchman lately attended Couft in Boston, to get excused from the Jury-box. "I can't undershtand goot Engles" he said. "What did he say ?** asked the Judge. "I can't understand good Englese,'* repeated the Dutchman "Take your seat," cried the Judge; "that's no excuse; you need not bo alarmed, as you are not likely to bear any." tSrQome persons have % nloe w»f of putting things. They forgot to give a stranger a napkin whe entered • a restaurant yesterday to get his din­ ner, and beckoning the waiter to him he said: "I've forgotten my liandker- chief; I make it a rille never to get grease on my coat-tail, aud I positively can't wipe inp mouth on this marblo slab." jgyHis mother killed a mosquito yesterday and his eyes, that have looked upon the world for four years, barring the nights were thoughtful for many moments. "That skeeter will never go home to her children," he said after a time, "will she. They, also, will come and bite some oue, and find out why it was that their mother never came home to them. »srin the Early libel case agains t . W. F. Story of the Chicago Times, thf* Supreme Court has affirmed the ver­ dict in the Circuit Court of Cook cotin- ly. giving $15,000 damages. Tho libel was a most outrageous if not malicious one and deserved the most severe pun­ ishment. The Supreme Court having passed on the case there is no way ex­ cept for Story to "settle the bill." g^Miss Joak, of "New York, recent­ ly eloped with a young man. Her en­ raged father says if he can lay his hands on that young man he will teach him to take a Joak.--.£*. If her parental parent followed the profession of a newspaper paragraph 1st, he would soo^ , become accustomed to having his best J oaks stole.n.