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fT fit THE DVlib BT *HOS. HODB. "• tK Bedford town, of old renown, jJThere ltved a Mister Bray, Who fell In love with Lucy Bell, And no did Mr. Clay. -f| nee her ride uvui nammersmllti •r %y aH It was allowed, ~ i fair ontsldee are seldom Men, •E uch angels on a cloud. tftld Mr. Bray to Mr. Clay": . Yon choose to rival rue, _ AH<1 court Mian Bell, but thereyOUT eOIItt No thoroughfare shall be. Unless yon now give np yonr suit, You may repent your love: J who have shot a pigeon match, mCan shoot a turtle dove. So pray before you woo her more, Consider what you do; If yon pop aughi to Lucy Bell, 111 pop it into you. flftid Mr. Clay to Mr. Bray Your threats I quite explode) Olio •who has been a volunteer .Knows how to prime and load And so I ny to you unless four passion quiet kedps, I, who have shot and hit bull's-eyes, May chance to hit a sheep's. - How gold is oft for silver changed, , And that for copper red; But these two went away to give Each other change for lead. But flint they sought a friend apiece, . This pleasant thought to give-- - When thfy were dead they thus should MVS Two seconds still to live. To measure out the ground not long The seconds then forbore, And having taken one rash step. They took a dozen more. They next prepared each pistol put Against the deadly strife. By putting in the prime of death Against the prime of life. Now nil was ready for the foes; But when they took their stands Fear made them tremble, s« they found, They both were shaking hands. Said Mr. C. to Mr. B.: Here one of us may fall, Aad like St. Paul's cathedral now Be doomed to have a ball. I do confess I did attach Misconduct to your name, If I withdraw the charge, will then Your ramrod do the same T 8aid Mr. B.: I do agree, But think of Honor's Courts! If we go off without a shot There will be strange reports. But look, the morning now is bright, Though,cloudy it begun; Why can't we aim above, as if We had called out the sun T go up into the harmless air Their bullets they did send; ** And may all other duels have That upshot i n the end! _ THE FACE IN THE GLASS. The morning express from New York arrived at Chicago at 8 o'clock, and brought its usual medley of passengers, among them one very strange one. A dead woman was found in one of the sleeping-cars--ejroung and exceedingly lovely girl, with nair like silk and feat­ ures exquisitely perfect and fair. She lay in the lower berth of a sec­ tion as if asleep ; only, when they turned her and looked in her face, the large, black eyes were staring with a look of agony and horror in them that even death had not been able to remove. The upper berth, did not seem to have been occupied, and there was nothing about her to indicate that she had died by violence except that look in her fixed eyes and a slight distortion of the lovely features. Upon one of the long, silky curls which lay across her throat, was a small piece of soft, slightly adhesive wax, which, finding it impossible to remove otherwise, the curl containing it being severed, was laid aside for future exami­ nation. It was learned upon inquiry that she had come upon the train at Detroit, in the night, and alone. The section had been engaged for her beforehand, by a woman of middle age seeminglyj, though none of the officials at the ticket-office could give more than a general description of her, she having worn a veil, and only partially lifted it at any time. Nothing was discovered to really excite suspicion of unfairness, though an uncomfortable air of mystery hung about the affair. The exceeding beauty of the dead girl, the richness of her clothing, the courtly jewels in her ears and upon her hands, tne absence of any fcaggage, avail a traveling bag, the fact that an elegant portemonnaie containing notes to a considerable amount was found in the pocket of her dress, but no papers er address of any sort, no name--these .circumstances were discussed and com­ mented upon, until cariosity grew -weary. At the inquest the jury gave in their "verdict in accordance with the report of the doctors--" Died of congestion of the lungs." Many came to look upon the beautiful, dead face, drawn by the noise the papers made about the affair ; and she was at last recognized by friends from Detroit, whom she had lately been visiting, as a Miss Tracy, from California. But they could give no explanation of the mysterious cir­ cumstances attending and preceding her death. She had left them without tell­ ing them where she was going---had gone out that afternoon ostensibly to call upon an acquaintance, and had not returned. That was all they could tell. The body was sent to her father in flftTi Francisco, and the matter dropped. But there was a general feeling that a mystery remained back of all; it might be a dark and terrible one. I was a young girl of 17 at this time, and chanced to be on the train, and the very oar, with the dead girl, though I did not know it till long afterward. It happened in this way : I had been visiting a school friend, and was summoned home suddenly by telegraph to attend the wedding of a sister, whose betrothed, being called abroad unexpectedly, wished to take his bride with him. Hence the sudden marriage. I got aboard the train at a town about six hours' ride from Chica­ go, at 3 o'clock in the morning, and, not feeling inclined to sleep, took a seat in the small compartment of a palace-car, called the drawing-room. I sat with my back to the main portion of the ear, and so close to the door on the side by which passengers entered that no one would be likely to know I was there, ex­ cept by actually looking inside. The lights were turned low, but suffi­ cient remained to enable me to see in the mirrors about me most of the interior of the car outside my own retreat. There was not much to see, the berths being mostly all closed. But for that very reason, perhaps, I notioed a hand which was holding slightly apart the draperies of a section half way down the oar. The hand glittered with several evidently costly stones upon the small fingers, and that was enough of itself to attract my attention. When a face, the most beautiful I had ever seen in my life, presently followed the hand, looking cautiously out, and quickly retreating, my interest in­ creases the face was so white--the large e> eo anxious. Hei u-iiety, though seen but for a momen , n footed me. I could not help wondern* what she was looking for, and I wa eced her berth constantly (in the mirror) o see if she would look out again. She did repeatedly. At last I saw her face brighten into an ecstasy of joy, and at the same mo­ ment the figure of a man slipped swiftly along the aisle, and stopped beside her an instant. I could not see his face. He climbed instantly to the upper berth, without even removing the cap, which he wore instead of a hat, close down oyer his forehead. "• I could not see his face then, but, after a time, when the cars stopped at a small place about twenty miles from Chicago, I saw the same man, with his cap still on, coming back along the I had one glimpse of his face in the mirror--a brief one--but in that instant he lifted his eyes, and in the glass our eyes met. He stood staring a moment, and then, with a glance around him of savage bewilderment, dashed by and disappeared. I cannot describe toe creeping, icy thrill which that one look, encountered only in a glass, sent through me. The face, too, haunted me, more by its expression than its features--a hand­ some, wicked, sneering face, that fas­ cinated and repelled at the same mo­ ment--a face whose ghostly, livid white­ ness it sickened me to remember, whose terrible eyes in that one flash of meeting had seemed to look abject fear and sav­ age threatening at once. I cowered down in my seat, and cov­ ered my face with my shawl, afraid to look lest I should meet that awful glance again, and finally fell asleep, not waking till we were entering Chicago. I had no baggage--I had left my trunk to be sent in the next train--ana I got off at Twenty-second street. As I left the car, I remembered notic­ ing that one section in the middle of the car remained undisturbed and closely curtained still. The conductor had ad­ dressed the occupant several times, but when she did not answer supposed her to be still sleeping, and did not discover that it was the sleep of death until after the arrival of the train at the depot. In consequence perhaps of my having left the car at Twenty-second street, I was not remembered, or called as a wit­ ness at the inquest, and as my sister was married at 12 o'clock that day, and I went away with her to New York and remained there some weeks after she had sailed with her husband, I did not happen to hear of the finding of that dead girl in a sleeping-car, in a long time. A year passed. My sister was still abroad. I was having a good time in society, of which I was extremely fond. I had lately formed the acquaintance of a gentleman who brought a letter of introduction from my sister. He was an Englishman, but had lived much in Paris, and had met my sister there, aiid had been able to extend her and her husband some courtesies, which she in her letter asked me to return as far as lay in my power. I was obliged, therefore, to be polite to the gentleman, though I had taken a violent dislike to hkn. I could not ac- count to myself for my aversion, but it was insurmountable. He was very handsome and distin­ guished lookiiig, but I never met him suddenly without a start, and a chilly shrinking as if I had met him some­ where before, under terrifying circum­ stances. He seemed very rich, and I am ashamed to say that, in spite of my dislike, when he asked me to marry him I hesitated about refusing him, because I did not like to lose the eclat of being attended by him--an attendance which I knew the girls generally envied me. I did not give him a decided answer. About this time, Balph Winston came home from California. Ralph and I had been children together, and very easily grew the best of friends now. The En­ glishman chanced to be in New York when Balph first came. The two met at our house and in my presence, and it was evident at sight that this was not the first time they had met; and that they entertained a mutual dislike for each other, though both acknowledged the introduction like stranger*. Have you ever met Mr. Byers be­ fore t" I asked Balph, at the first oppor­ tunity. • "Yes." " And yon don't like him ?" Balph shook bis head emphatically. •* Why not?" "Do yon know how he got his money I" "No." " Well, IH tell you, one of the pret­ tiest girls in Ban Francisco fell in love with his handsome face. She was a rich heiress, and as good and true a girl as she knew how to be. Her father hated Byers, and would never consent to her marrying him. She would not marry him without her father's consent But just as soon m, she came of legal age to do so, she made her will, and gave all her money to Byers, at her death. She was visiting in Detroit afterwards, and went away without telling her friends there where she was going, or even without taking a trunk with her. The next they heard of her she was found dead in a sleeping-car at Chicago." Here Balph repeated to me those par­ ticulars of the tragedy which I recounted at the beginning of this recital. " Byers, of course, got all her money," Balph went on, 44 and took it so greedily and unscrupulously that everybody who knew the circumstances was disgusted. He was in Europe at the time of her death, and came posting to California after the money as soon as he heard of it; and when he had got it, went posting back again. Everybody in San Fran­ cisco despised him." Balph's story affected me very strangely. " Was Byers suspected of knowing anything about her death ? " I asked. " There was some mystery about it. But the inqufet had decided that sho died a natural death, and Byers was abroad at the time, so they oonld not connect him with it. But I have always suspected, and so have many, that he knew more than he was willing to tell. Balph and I were sitting at one ex­ tremity of the two parlors. A large mirror was near us, and exactly oppo­ site this mirror in the other parlor was another. As Balph said these words, I looked round the rooms involuntarily in search of Mr. Byers. He was nowhere to be .seen, but glanc­ ing accidentally in the glass near me, as I turned to address Ralph again, my words froze on my bps. For there, staring at me from the mirror, was the very face whose reflection had scared me so in the drawing-room of the sleep­ ing-car a year bofore. The very same- handsome, wicked, sneering--in the eyes the same expression of mingled fear and threatening, on the face the same livid and horrible whiteness, and as our eyes met in the mirror he knew me again, as I knew him. I could not look away. I thought I beheld a vision. It was only by a su­ preme effort that I kept ray senses, so strongly did the old horror and terror of that face, which had held me once, hold me again now. • "Ralph," I said in alow voice, "look where I am looking, and tell me if you see anything." Balph obeyed. "I see Cecil Byers glowering at us like a demon," he said. "He hates me for loving you, I suppose ; and let him, only don't you marry him, Lou. I could bear to lose you myself better than to see you the wife of that devil." Cecil Byers ! Odd as it may seem, I had not recognized that awful face in the glass as his, till Balph named him. I put my hand in Balph's arm. "Take me away out of this room, quick," I said- " I never want to meet Cecil Byers again. I am sure I shall scream or faint, or do something dread­ ful if I do." Balph got me out of the, room by the nearest door, one which led out upon the terrace, and then I quietly fainted away, a thing which I never did before or since. At the moment I recognized the face in the glass as the face of Cecil Byers, that moment the whole circum­ stances of the strange story Balph had just told me seemed to rise before me like monsters. I was back in the draw­ ing-room of the sleeping-car again. I was watching in the mirror opposite me that section half way down the car from which I had beheld the palest and love­ liest of faces look with anxious eyes. I was recalling the figure of the man I had seen go gliding toward her, and I re­ membered now, though it had scarcely occurred to me at the time, and never been recalled since, that as I left the car at Twenty-second street, that very section remained shut in by its draping curtains, just as it had all night. Sud­ denly the awful conviction burst in upon me that Cecil Byers was a murder­ er, and that I had almost seen him do the deed. Was it any wonder I fainted ? The next day I went with my father before a magistrate and told my story. I had to do it. The angel face of that poor murdered girl haunted me till I did, and would have haunted me till I died, if I had not, for I believe she had been murdered. My story seemed very lit­ tle when it was told, but when it was proved that I was on the car that very night, or rather morning, on which the dead girl was found, and when I swore positively that it was Cecil Byers I saw go to her berth and come away from it, the matter began to look worthy of in­ vestigation. It was found that Byers had been seen both in Chicago and Detroit before and after that poor girl's death. He must have scented danger, for he had left Chicago, they found, when they went to arrest him for the murder. They followed him, however, and cap­ tured him in New York. He was very bold and defiant at first, but ultimately confessed the cruel deed. Ho had met the unfortunate girl out walking, and had persuaded her at last to consent to a secret marriage. She had always been firm enough in her refusal before, but now she had not seen him in a long time, and he was very eloquent, and she did love liim, and she was of age. Besides, he prom­ ised never to claim her as long as her father lived, unless by his consent; so she yielded. They went on the cars separately, he joining her afterward. Ke watched from the upper berth till she fell asleep, and then creeping down, smothered her by holding a plas­ ter of thick wax over her mouth and nostrils. No wonder her eyes wore such a look of agony and horror even in death. When Byers was asked why he killed her, he answered almost coolly: # "I needed the money, and I knew it might be a long time before I got the handling of it if she lived." 46 Bat when she was your wife you could have claimed it." " Ah, that was just it. She could not be my wife, because I was already mar­ ried. It was my wife who engaged the section in the sleeping-car for her." " Where is your wife now?" " Dead," was the sullen answer, " as she deserved to be." He deserved to be hung, but he was not. He sickened with some kind of fever in the prison, and died there, with­ out ever having shown much signs of repentanoe. . Such natures as his are incapable of true repentance, I believe, ~ ^EE-HISTORIC RELICS Interesting Arofeipologlcal TresMtfM In­ earthed In lows. [From tne Davenport Gasette.] Cook's point, on the river bank just west of the city, bids fair to become re­ nowned as the depository of the most remarkable arch geological treasures ever discovered in the Mississippi Valley; and the Davenport Academy of Scien­ ces will soon have extensive fame in con­ nection therewith. It is only some two years ago that that earnest academician, Rev. J. E. Gass, pastor of the First German Lutheran Church, made the grand discovery of copper axes and hatchets--some of them cloth-bound-- with pottery and human remains, in one of the mounds on the Cook property ; and now the same gentleman has another streak of pre-historic luck, in a " find that will create a sensation among scien­ tists who are delving after knowledge of the pre-historic man--that is if the articles prove to be of no later origin than the ones lately found of that mys­ terious yet numerous individual. As Mr. Gass and Mr. L. H. Wilrodt were exploring a mound, they came upon some small slabs of dark shale, the surfaces of which were covered with yellow clay. These were found near some human bones. On removing the clay, what was their astonishment to find thiat they had secured pictured rocks of grest value. The largest was 12x9 inches, and l£ inches thick. In rubbing the clay, this slab split in two--and one face of each of the plates of shale were covered with etchings -- or rather deep scratches with some metal instrument. One picture represents a scene of sacrifice, evidently. A fire blazing, in fee center is a ring; on one side of the blaze is a prostrate human figure, and on the other side are two more beings, all bound, and around the fire and bodies fourteen persons are dancing. In an upper corner is the sun, with long and short rays, oppo­ site is the moon. We are sorry to state that, since this slab has been ex­ posed to the public gaze, persons have tested the shale by scratching it, and thus what was a well-formed face in the moon has been most wholly ob­ scured by scratches. The other repre­ sents animals of various kinds--some creeping, some walking, and all much as a little child might draw on a slate. One of the animals is a three-legged, monstrosity with a body shaped like a mushroom--it couldn't have been in­ tended for a turtle, as its legs are too long for that. Then there are various circles, with peculiar marks inside. There is a picture of a hunter with bow hand, he having just shot a deer which lies near him. So it seems the pre­ historic man killed deer with bow and arrow, as do the Indians of our era. Another slab, six inches square, shows a series of circles, with twelve figures between each circle--while outside of the outer circle are twelve peculiar fig­ ures that are neither human ner ani­ mal. The distances between the figures is exactly the same in the margin as is that between the rings. In the center is a small ring from which are marks pointing to tne outer signs. This is supposed to be a sort of zodiacal record. Members of the academy who have ex­ amined these treasures have no doubt as to their antiquity--in fact the best posted feel convinced that they are of the same age as the copper implements found in mounds which surrounded this one, from which these stone tablets were taken. And we ought to have said before that some of the bones found in the mound are copper-stained, and near them small pieces of copper were found. It is believed that these tablets will be deposited in their proper receptacle, the cabinet of pre-historic relics in the Academy of Science. Another thing, they ought to be immediately placed where they may be viewed and not han­ dled, for the shale " chips off" easily. Mayhap some skilled person in decipher­ ing hieroglyphics will come along and translate these strange pictures. But they ought not to be taken away from here for that service. interior stairway leads to a covered npper story, from which a fine view of the of the route is afforded«^v<^"i:"-v Too Hasty. Having been lately quite often cheated by those who advertised with us, we be­ came rather too hasty in being suspi­ cious of the Chicago Ledger Company. Upon inquiry we find that the company is not only wealthy, but that the Ledger has a tremendous circulation, and better still, the company are very gentlemanly. The Ledger is a large-size 48 column lit­ erary family paper, and is full of good things every week. The terms of this paper being only one dollar per year, and 15 cents for postage, make it the cheapest weekly paper in the world. Three copies for 10 cents.--Akron (O.) Commercial. VIRGINIA has a national banking cap­ ital of $3,580,913, and pays an internal revenue of $7,343,789. The six New England State* have a national banking capital of $160,517,266, and pay only $5,575,554 revenue. That Monster Sea Serpent. The London papers have the follow­ ing concerning the wonderful snake, hose appearance off the coast of Brazil has been recorded. Yesterday Gapt. Drevar, of the ship Pauline, and a number of the crew of that vessel attended before Mr.. Baffles, the stipendary magistrate _ at Liverpool, and made the following declaration : We, the undersigned officers and crew of the bark Pauline (of London), of Liverpool, in the county of Lancaster, in the (Jnited Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, do solemnly and sincerely declare that on July 8, 1875, in latitude 5 deg. 13 min. south, longitude 35 deg. west, we observed three large sperm whales, and one of them was gripped around the body with two turns of what appeared to be a huge serpent. The head and tail appeared to have a length be­ yond the ooils of about thirty feet, and its girth eight or nine feet. The ser­ pent whirled its victim round and round for about fifteen minutes, and then sud­ denly dragged the whale to the bottom, head first. Again, on July 13, a similar serpent was seen about 200 yards off, shooting itself along the surface, head and neck being out of the water several feet. This was seen only by the Gaptain and one ordinary seaman. A few moments after it was seen ele­ vated some sixty feet perpendicularly in the air by the chief officer and the following seamen ; Horatio Thompson, Owen Baker, William Lewara. And we make this solemn declaration, con­ scientiously believing the same to be true. Severally declared and subscribed at Liverpool aforesaid, this 10th day of January, 1877. Before T. S. Baffles, J. P. for Liver­ pool. Signed: Geo. Drevar, Master; Horati# Thompson, John Henderson Landells, Owen Baker, William Le- warn. • A FRENCH railway company at Ivry is building a novel car, to be used on the little railroad between Bayonne and Biarritz. It is of iron, paneled with wood, and will seat ninety-two passen­ gers. It has a baggage-room and a smoking-room, separate compartments for three classes of passengers, and an THE PACIFIC Its YM» Wealth sad Resources--Some Big Figures. The San Francisco Journal of Com­ merce, in its review of tha p«J3t year, gives some interesting items of informa­ tion. The population of California re­ ceived during the year an increase by immigration, etc., of 55,000, making the population of the State 900,000, the population of its principal city, San Francisco, being 280,000. The import trade of the State amounted to $80,000,- 000, the export trade to $50,006,000, and the manufactures to $61,000,000. The tonnage of vessels coming into San Francisco alone amounted to 726,309 tons, and the outward-bound tonnage to 760,770. The yield of gold and sil­ ver on the whole Pacific coast has been $100,000,000 for the year, making since the memorable year of 1848 the enor­ mous amount of $1,700,000,000. The wheat crop for the year 1876 is spoken of as worth between $30,000,000 and $40,000,000, the principal wheat lands being in the Sfcciainento and San Joaquin valleys. The wool crop is esti­ mated at 56,000,000 pounds, worth $9,- 000,000, and the wine crop at 11,000,000 gallons. These several erops are from the State of California, which is only a portion of the great fertfle lands to the west of the mountains. The exact re­ turns from other States and Territories are not given, but their capabilities are shown, and rough estimates made of their productions when properly culti­ vated. These computations are some­ thing too enormous to find ready belief from those who have learned to consider the Pacific slope as mainly a field for mining enterprise. For instance, it is calculated that the area of wine-growing lands on the Pacific coast is 30,000,000 acres, which would produoe, at a low es­ timate of value, $6,000,000,000 worth of wine, or twenty times the amount of the whole of the wine crop of France. ThiB, however, is all in tbe pjssible future. The estimate of lumber on that coast, from Southern California to Alaska-- which, by the way, would include a large strip of British territory--is reckoned at 4,000,000,000,000 feet. The present production of gold is put at $55,000,000, of which California produces $20,090,- 000; the production of silver being be­ tween $40,000,000 and $50,000,000. The Pacific coast at present imports from 250,#00 to 350,000 tons of coal per an­ num, although there are coal veins in the neighborhood. In California the yield of quicksilver is between 60,000 and 70,- 000 flisks this year, and the Pacific coast has supplied tke rest of the United States with from 7,000 to 8,000 tons of lead. There are large quantities of oop- per on the coast, but, surrounded by more alluring wealth, the veins appear to be left untouched by the inhabitants. While these enormous fields of wealth are inviting population, it appears that immigration during 1876 was 30,000 short of what it was in 1&75, and that of the 85,000 people who arrived in the State during the year only 35,000 re­ mained. _ Experiments in Bas Suffocation* An interesting experiment has been tried with the stove in the room in whioh Mr. Shattuck, of Providence, B. I., was suffocated recently by coal gas. The stove is a retort gas stove. Three pigeons were used in the trial, which began one hour after the gas had been lighted in the stove. The thermometer registered 60 degrees. One of the birds was placed in an open cage sus­ pended from the ceiling so as to hang at about the height of an ordinary-sized man's face, and the others were dis­ posed, one on the bed that haul been oc­ cupied by Mr. Shattuck, and its mate on the floor. Eight minutes after being incarcerated the pigeon in the cage at the ceiling retired to the corner of its cage, and made but slight movements. When thirty minutes had elapsed this bird was dead, while the birds on the bed and on the floor evinced some un­ easiness. At the expiration of forty minutes the bird on the bed became motionless. The bird on the floor lived fi¥© hours. It was then placed in the cage, and expired in half an hour.-- Boston Herald. , n Destitution in St. Louis. *" The following pitiful story is told by the St. Louis Republican: " A oouple of days since, a female teacher in one of our district schools in the northwestern portion of the city sent word to the pa­ rents of a boy, complaining of his rest­ lessness and inattention during school hours. The mother of the boy called at the school-room and stated that her boy had not eaten a mouthful of victuals on the morning of the day on which the complaint was made, nor a mouthful of supper the previous night. Further­ more, tbe woman made the rather re­ markable and painful statement that two-thirds of the children in the school had scarcely anything to eac on account of the poverty of tueir parents, and were sent to the school for the purpose of keeping warm, as in many cases the parents were not only destitute of food, but failed to keep up a fire. It is stated that, on these instances of destitution coming to light, a meeting was held and a committee appointed to solicit sub scriptions for the relief of the destitute parents of the children." The Fearful Bide of a Tramp* He boarded a train at Omaha, and, after having been ejected from several trains, he* reached Green river, in Wyoming. Here the train men became more vigilant, and the dead-head saw that he must find a secure hiding place. Accordingly, while the train men were busv, he crawled into the fire-box of a stationary engine that was standing on a flat car, and which was going through to San Francisco. Soon after the train started some one shut the engine door, and the man was a prisoner. He could not sit down, and could barely turn around, and in this way he rode for four days and nights, without a mouthful of food or drink, excepting a few crackers he had in ms pockets. When the train arrived at Verdi, Nevada, a distance of nearly 900 miles from Green river, he attracted the attention of the conductor by scratching on the inside of the en­ gine with his finger nails. He was lib­ erated almost dead with oold and hunger. --Truckee Republican, V . MAKING ETKS. _ i, JtomaiiT things a girl oan make X cannot fathom why * Bo few can turn us out a cake, T. ©r make an apple pie. " ?|£u*e8 they can make, galore. '1 ^Pfair bouquets, wreaths, and ties; . *--US1'" they delight in something more. And that is '• making eyes." •• *• $ "• l&rtrl can make a man a fool-* * ,* f See hiutery for that-- (pn make a dress by fashion's rllt. * <Or trim a dainty hat, But oft--from gaping crowds »' I've pondered with surprise OP this ; *»•.• rareei,, denreet art. You know, ia 44 making eyes," A woman makes the moments i She makes the cash flyf too j Ifcr husbands say she makes them buy ' Whatever comes in view. Slit this I know, O modern belle-- ' It is no vain surmise-- The art in which you most excel Is that of " making eyes." Pith and Jfolnt. THIS country is affected with the poll- evil. PASSIONS evaporate by words ; grief by tears. DICE which none of us care to "throw" --Paradise. WITHOUT the rich heart wealth is an ugly beggar. , _ A NECESSARY wing of Eastern universi­ ties--rowing. • . JOKES finds that drinking like a fish makes bis head swim. f HE that cannot'forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must certain­ ly pass. 4 IN place of the base-ball batter of last summer, we now have the buckwheat batter. WHEN can yo* be said to swallow glass­ ware ? When you buy a tumbler and To MAKE the most of the good and the least of the evil of life is the best philosophy. THE new moon reminds one of a giddy girl, because she's too young to show much reflection. THE best way to <japtore a burglar is to bore a hole through hin> with a bal­ let, or tie him down with a club. THE name of the man in Chicago who fed his geese on iron filings, and gath­ ered steel pens from their wings, is Sharp. | THE smallest laid slightest impedi­ ments are the most annoying ; and, as little letters most tire the eyes, so do little affairs most disturb us. NOSK cardinal red, A oarnation head, Bed mustache and sonofagolt; Bed fringes, red sashes, Bed eyes and eyelashes Take the darlings of dainty Detroit. ON A pretty girl's saying to lieigh Hunt, " I am very sad, you see," he re­ plied, " Oh, no ; you belong to the other Jewish sect. You are very fair, I see." A SCOTCHMAN asked an Irishman, " why were half-farthings coined in England)" Pat's answer wae, "To give Scotohmen an opportunity of sub­ scribing to charitable institutions." A LITTLE boy was much exercised for fear he would not know his father when lie got' to heaven, but his mother eased his mind by saying. "All yon will have to do is to look for an angel with a red nose." A GOOD many faces are pressed against the window panes these days, while sweet voices mnrmuringly complain : " Such nice sleighing--so many people gliding around, and no one comes for me. Or, in other words, I'm left." Two French ladies were looking at the pictures in the Paris Salon. "So I near," said one, "a celebrated painter has finished a picture for you?" "Yes, he has graciously consented to paint the portrait of my husband for my drawing room." " Indeed!" said the first speaker. "Well, for a room like that, I think I should have chosen a gayer subject." BOSTON advertisements of 18B8: "Much wanted--a neat, well behaved female,to do kitchen work in a small fam­ ily at Oharlestown, near Boston. She may pray and sing hymns, but not over the fish-kettle ; may go to meeting, but not to believe in the divinity of Elias Siiiiih; nor belong to th© whining con­ gregation ' of midnight 'waishipers. Enquire at the Repertory office, near Boston." THFY all happened to meet one anoth­ er at the corner. In silence, and with a gravity savoring of sadness, they simul­ taneously touched their hats and extend­ ed their bands. A move was made on a neighboring bar-room and, looking into one another's eyes, they drained with­ out a word, the bust of the rosy. When it was asked who they were, the only response that came was, " We were not nominated." JUST LIKE HIMSXLF.--" Why doesn't this fire keep up ?" asked a husband pettishly, as he pranced around half dressed, and furtively poked the stove- grate, late one bitter morning. " It's so much like you !" piped ont his wife, from her warm bed. " Like me !" ex­ claimed he, stopping in his work. "How so?" "Because," said she, ro­ guishly, "it ioiU go ont nights!" He only mumbled something to himself, and returned to his work. The Printing Business. RowelVa Newspaper Reporter and Printers' Gasette oonfirms other evi­ dence in reporting the newspaper and printing business in New York city at its very lowest ebb. Never a year, it says, in the memory of the oldest printer has the business been more unprofitable; the circulation and advertising patron­ age of the newspapers have fallen off alarmingly; not one of the large book and job offices has even a fair supply of work; competition was never so active, and prices are absurdly low. There are now in the city 500 printers out of work, and, though th© nominal prices for piece-work range from 40 to 45 cents a thousand, many offices pay but 30 cents, and weekly wages range from $15 and $16 to $18 and $19, and first-class Adams pressmen are down to $20. The coun­ try printing offices, as a rule, we think, are in better condition than this; cer­ tainly the year 1876 was an averag good one with them for hard times; but we fear 1877 is to borrow its qualit from the present condition of things in the cities.--Springfield Republican. a