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fih * Pledged but to Truth, to Liberty anil «© Favors Wih Us find no Fear Shalt Aw6." VOL. 2. M1 HENRY, ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, MAllCH 14, 1877. -*-*-* MMBhJ - I , . . » NO. 33, kintetleh Published Every Wednesday by J. VAK SLYKE Editor and I'dWiBlWr. Office ill IUveMd© Block, Over Smith firosi ft (Ws Store-. TKRttS rtP srBsCrti^fioii: V«ar, tin AdMtnce,) .................... ,;|l H If not Paid within Sidiikhs, 2 fltt «*i Wru»tio«s rrtfoived forthr^e or six months ;n tlie sftnu' ikropnrfidiV. BltSINE^^ OAKfrft. ii. T. BUOJVS, -it. \k:" [ AX And Sursreom rtfltrt in rtrUk Tthx-k over K. <i. Mnvca Clothing StoVte "Water *Hreet, McHenry III. E. A. HEKRS M. P. PHVSTCTA!* and Surareon. Office atresjdence, two Vlt i doors west of Post Office, McHenry O. J. HOWARD, M D. •HYBTriAN and Snrsroon. Office at the store ' of Howard A Son, McIIenrv, 111. F.f. BARBIAX. CIGAR Mann far.fc», w, Mrllenrv 111; torv So. 171. Order# solicited; KicuAun itisiiop, \ TTOUSfeV AMI COUNSELOR At LAW. f\ Ofll'-e in rear of Murphy & Bishop's Bank North Side Public Square, W<wi<lstoek, 111. GEO. A BUCKLIN, KOTARY I'lJliLICi ConVeyrihc^r and In­surance Ajrent. Office at Bilcklln ft Eleven's Store, near the Depot, McHenry* III. E. E. RICHARDS. HAS a complete Abstract ot Titles to land in McIIenrv County* Ill'nois. Office with bounty Clerk, Woodstock, III. ROBT. WltttillT. M'A'nhfaPHiwjr tif t^Uslbm Madfe tt Shottft Nont! but trie best m. Jriots and ..one but the best ttf ni:tttirial bsiWl aiVd iil) wrtVK Wat'fahtbd. SliojiXorth\V3at Voriici- Public, SqVVArB', McIIenry, 111; FR. IIEPHTLE-. OTTSE, firn an«l Ornamental PttihttVi HUo Kane[v Sketches, Scenery, ftc,-., Mctl«ikiry promptly and ill rea- II 111. Will do nil work •ionable rittes, Kjll vULteS ROUsE. BA It lip it; Sllaving, Hair Cutting. Sham, pooinu aiyi t'vriry thiu^ pertfliiiinir tit til;' IniftintiHft tit bout stylti of the art; Shop, near the Depot, Mcltfnryi E. M. OWEN. EXERAL Dealer and Manufacturers T Aireut in Leading Farm Machinery. Prices low and Terms favorable. MtlHF.XRY, • • • • • ILLIXOIS. GEO: SfiHRElNfclt SAI.OOX and Restaurant.- Nearly opposite the i'arkei1 llrtu.*«!t Mclltfiiry III; #**First-Class Billiard awl PooJ "fables. J. BOXSLK*TI SAT.OO* iwmiR<«<.ta!iraiit: . Nearly frppnelte 0\Vttiv>» Mill, M<*llttnrv, tili FnjghOvstors scrvi'd up ill allv sihlilt! iteslFCili or tdr sale bv the Can; *»-(joon STABLINC; FOR HORSES..** JO-i. WIEDEMANN". SALOON and Kest.-mrnnt; Near the Depot McIIenrv til: BoardOrs bv the day <>r tveekat rrtili»<ihttble ratt's; Warn! allil told ileal a at all lioill;S: *i~Clood Stabling for Horses._** W; W. ELLSWOtJTII. BREEDKRO the (Jdelnated Maarie Ilotf; Also Llfjii t -Mid P;tl!k Ur;i lima Fowls. Pigs shipped. tt> ali points.by exiii'Us^. P. 0. Ad­ dress, Woodstock, 111;. PETER LEICKEM. RE P A IRS Watches, Clocks and JewMrv of all kiiuls: Also Repairs Violins in tlieWst IMissible manner, oi> short ntitice and at rei»; soiuble rattis: Also Violins for Sale. Shop Hrst doHr North of ltlVtirside Ulo(;k( M£Henr\ III. Mt^ltEXliV ltOl*SE. clterirvf tit; John Kai'ges Pro^rietrif. Cent'rjilly located and, the best of aceonl. tnorlatioiwi furiiishc<;. Charges reasonable. M JF. KI.EIFGEN & SOX. Ct.VRUlAtiE, Wagon J<nd House Painting J done on Short Xtftice. Ail work tfaj1; hinted. McIIenry lib, South of the Publb', Square; MATTHEW KARGES, H")TTSE, Sign Mnd Carriage Paintfr. Also Calsouiining done in til*; best of manner. All orders promptly atterldrid to ami work w 'rranted. Itesidenee lit the McHenry House, McHenry, 111. RICHMOND HOUSE. RICHMOND ILLINOIS. Frank Foster Pro prietor; Qood accoinmodations ji.niies: SJ( Stable atta« Shows ftc., for all .... .-...v. .... ... Livery Public Ilitll for Lecturcs, !"• G . parlies: Sitiitpleroonis for Salesmen, n'hdd, The HcHemy Brewery. King & Hei'beg, Proprietor's* THE best of Beef Shipped t<i.ttiy part of the ••oitntrv and xf.li'ranted as represented.-- Drders solicited and promptly attended to. FRED. RENICII, CIGAR MANUFACTURER, AND- WHOLESALE TOBACCONIST. WOODSTOCK, ILLIXOIS. PATENTS. Persons desiring to take out Patents, or de- h-ing infffrmatiofi ffOm the tf. S, Patdrit should consult F. A. LEIlMANX.SOLIflfOH OF AS1BRICAX AXD FORElGif PATti#TS, Washington, D. C. fexaminatkms free. NO PATENf NO PAY. Send for Circular. For Sale. 3^he undersized offers for Sale, tne Brick Store on Wate'r ."Hre'eft, in the village of ("•Henry/ now occupied by Mrs. C. II. Morey, «S a Milfinery Storei It is 14x35, the upper ptorv being finished offasa resilience. TKKMS I no u ire of C.-II. MORE v WcH«nr//Hl/ Nov/ 1st/187S/ BUSINESS CAKDS. E. BEXXETT, M. I>., SURGEON and Ac"oucher. Diseases Women a Specially. Office and Residence rtn Clay Street, Wo<Klstock. III. W. II. B17CKJ M. D., tTOMFidPAtniC Phvtiebin aftd attrg^on, 11 Office East Side Public S«inare, Wood- ... -- s 11 r - -stock, «ilU Officte hburs to 4 P. M to 12 A. M., and 2 W. H. SANFORD, Merchant Tdildrk Iri tttte store of C. II. Dickirtsrtn, East 6idfe of Public Square, Vvoomf ocKv it;t. A ^rttl Strtck df Fine Cloths for SuitlngS *1- Wn hatid; Suits made to ordfir And a lit Warranted- OiVtS me a fcttll; a . V ... ^ . W; IJ. SANFORO. Woddskk Hl.iSejJfc 47th, 1S75. Ml. ENCELN> WUTV'SM I TBt. Will ^,hArige miiz- zld ioadfel :9i both single and dbuble, to breach lod<iers. Kt'<?p8 Oh hand all kitida (tf Gittt Ma­ terial-. 'Ail Work tfrai'fahted; Shd|l .Opposite Pirry & Martin's re, MeH Store, ;Henrv, III. H. K. WIGIITM AXi Proprietor. First class rigs; wlt.li ijv -\vitliout dl'ivers. furnished (it Reasonable WWs: T«Aniin^ »f all kinds tloiie on short iidtice. O. W. OWEN, WATCH MAKER & JEWELER, MCllfeNtlY ILL;; Dealer in aii kinds ot American and Swiss Watches, Clocks from the best factories in the country. Silver, platedwarc, Silver Spoons, ftc., ALSO AG EXT FOR THE Weber and Bradbury Pianos ANii fnfe jEst^y Oryiaii ! WhlttH wt1 beiibyti td -HC the tkist Organ Itl tlie •market. We think we knoW thnt l)y 4xpriri- enci', and we believd it; for it Is Hacked u|J by the Besl Musicians in the World, I also s(d! other Organs at less prices than th« Esttfyi but Csttt't rt'ccoiilniend them to be rtstfood; .. ... o. w. OWEN. Julv 23; emoved. E^ltOM the Riverside House to the Brick r sl<»re. opposite Owens' Mill, tVlicrP I \V ill opeaa lirst class Saloon au<^ Restauniilt: . J, WERTER; fOTHR WORKIXG CLAS«i. -- We are Hmv pl'cpared to furnish all clas>es with ctdisiant einplovinrint ai lioine. the whole of_ HiW time, or for thfir .-parr momrnts. BiiSiii^AS w .v, light alDl profitable. Persons f»f either sex easily darn from 50 cents to $T> iier evening, anil "a prOj>rrtional sunt by detotjrlg their whol^ time trt th<^ businesd. !i"" girls earn nearly.as nmcii as men. That illl who sCtl this n<itice may st'iid their address, unci test the biisiness we makri this nrt|lahilleled offer: Tc» such as are not well salisilcl we wili send one dollar to p;iy for the trouble of writing; ^lill particuliirs, samples worth several dollars to co.innH'nce work on, and a copy of ifoiin" and Firesidt!, one of tlie largest and" best Illustratc'd PuIilicattiiiiS; rill .-ent free by mail. Reader^ if you w)ln't permanent, ljrcffltabie.work, address^ GK<)ktiK STISSON A Coi, Portland, Maine. TOIS PAPER IS ON FILF WITH Wbere Advertisic«Joniract!« 1)6n" NOTICE. 50,000 lbs. of --Af Tllfe- IANESVILLE WOOLEN MILLS NORTH MAIX StlltiET/ THE subscribers wish toinforW th^if patrons and everybody that they will manufac­ ture their Wool into goo<l substantial Cassi- rrtMfto, Doeskins, Flannel and stocking Varn,- on shares or by the yard of' pound, oil sa'tit"iac torr terms; or will "buy their Wool and JKIJ - tli</highest niarket orice- and sell them good ffti^Ptahtial Cassiu.eres at fl.-OO per va.rd, ami an tfther goods at the same rate.- Will pav Mali cash on good tine lot?, not too suyUL Will i«iv Express ciiarges on ali lots of Woo] of M) jtohftds or ipoi-e and return, ttye g<wds free ot Charge. Will curd their WoOllnto rolls for (>c, per |)ound ; al.°o card Wool tlfe saide day when unOight from a ilistance, »f jMi^ible. Will dr»^?s Hieir cloth on the usual terms. Carpets washt'd j ffrij-e ffcentsper yiff'd,- F4rmers, pa­ tronize home industry. |A|- mAaJ IX exchange for (Joods, W31116(1^"" Wool-Grease, Tallow and Wood, for which the highest price will be paid. F. A. WIIE E L E R ft CO. Jane9rill«y Wis.y May 36thy 187©/ HKSl'MPlioN. EDITOR PLAINDEALEH:--We lils- w»ver that Senator Sherman h|8 brought Whire the United States Sth- ate a bill providing for thU isShfe another batch of interest-bearing bont|s to the amoiiut of one hundred and eiglity millions of dollars. The inter­ est bn this large sUuV--thife proposed He\v ard unnecessary debt--is to be paid unarterly in gold, and dmoiiHt^ itt 4 per cfnt, to ^7,200,000; anmhtHjr; witiibut cbm^eundiiig. And fbr Whilt is this additional burden to be plaint upon the pen pic ? It i*> for the pbif- pose of calling in a»d destroying Uni­ ted St sites noies or greenbacks: In oi"- der \'(S so contract the volume of them as to more fully cxtfeHU the Nation®! bank citculUtibn, itud force the couut^r to specie payment. >; Sensitor Sherman has done the bid­ ding of Gemtihtrtt in this matter* and is foremost in leading on the ruinous scheme of contracting the vuH'enOy of till* WuHtry. The people ©t the United States have now as currency but $20 pev capita, ami the average circulating medium of the nations of the bid world is $25 per capita. Frttnfe, the moet prosperous of them till; has 945; as cir­ culation for every man, womsfti and child in the Republic. It will be dis covered by tiifcSe^ facts that it is not a contrsiction of our present volume of £> 4 currency we need, in order to bring ohr paper to par with gold^ but a fBll i-ecognitloil by our government of Its own notes. Tlie greenbacks was oftee excliangable into the 5-20 bonds of the government, but a law was passed sub" seqhently (in the interest of •bondhold­ ers) repealing the clause making it thus excliangable. The bond has gone up to a high premium above gold while tlie poor rejected greenback; »et t "to paddle its own canoe," has rising to within a very few cents of gold par. Were treasury notes today made reeeiv blc for.a port ion bf the. i.tuitol't dutieisof the government--a sufficiency tb j>ay tho interest on the public debt--thtey would go immediately to par without tlie d6sti:oJ:ing contractibn qf the cur- I'feucy to force them up; Mr. Sherman's bill provides that tl es'e shall not be drawn from circula­ tion of these notes mere than four million dollars per mouth. Bilt,, we liiid an act of Congress while McCulloch was Secretary ot tlie Treasury, provid­ ing forjthe withdraw*! of„gr^*»i^v ,Hi! to just this amount per tnbntii; aiW thdj-e who rouieinber know I lie distress­ ing times in monitary..aflairs which we eu.dtired until (.'ongreS^ met and Speed­ ily I'epraletl the obnoxious act. Does Sehatbr Sherman desire to revive those piiichiug time ? Are tlie people who do the business and produce; the wejilth of the country clamorous for a (jouthic- tiou of our Currency ? Are th^ masses not satisfied with the safe, SOIIIMI and non-interest bearing Treasury ndtf! of the inltion; its it circulating ineditun? Who complains, unless it b£ those who would riot il?. liixurV at the eXj^iiSe bf the whole pedpie? Tliere is a l-elrttlve contraction; gbing on all the tittte in oUr circulating meditiin.csvused by the increase of population and tho t'ttnSe- df the industHC* s6f the country, and it therefore needs no nioic bhrniiig thct greenbstck in Or­ der to prnmfce; absolhte contraction of the volumes of our currency. Groll­ backs have, within the past year, risen on their own merits froili 14 percent to 5 below gold, and at this rate, will soon reach aiieqthility with that merchanta­ ble commodity, without causing any more linaucial distress to tlife people. We are in favor of having our paper money at par with gohl and silver, but do not endorse the plan pi'oposeil by Senator Sherman rtUd Gem Gf'ant to rtin the people more hestvily in debt and contract the present volume Of our cutrfeney. The whole scheme is •"'conceited in sin and born in iniquity;" a plan to fos; ter the interest Of capitalists and spec­ ulators; to extend and enilarge the expansive system of National banking, to the gi*eat injury of the laboring and tax-paj*ing masses of the people. May an overruling Providence* that lists seetned to preside over the destinies of this nation/save the peoplfe from any more^Grautism" on this subject; A rekcbmcAK. f^fir FARQIIIARSON says: ,fSo l*ng as si bi-itin wot'keris able to sleep weli,- •tnd to take afstlr pmportiOn of out-door exercise, it may safely be s.1id that it is not necessary to iuiposef any special limits out be ac'tnsfl nrtinber of boors which he devotes to his labors. Hut when what is generally known sis worry steps in to complicate matters,-when Cires connected with fsunfily arrange- n<ents,or iflth those iiumertiic ^efsonal details which vte t'sin sfeld«tn escape* intervene ;'or tvh^it tlte daily occupation oflife is in itself a fertile source of anxiety, then we find one or other of these three safeguards broken down.1' Suits ,-SuitS} at Ft G/ Hayes. GOOD SCHOOLS. EDITOU PLA.IXOEAI.KR--ill previous articles \v(4 HA^e shown some of the qualifications ©f teachers and directors necessary to a good school, and in this article we shaH speak of seme of the duties of patroYis, as they are largely responsible for the success «f the school- Directors and teslchers msiy do all tlifey can and yet, without the active co-Oper­ ation ot patrons, failure or at least !u- complete success will be the result. Patrons of our scbbbls may be divldeii int« threi" classes. Those who pay lit­ tle or no taxes And send children; thbsfe Who pay heavy taxes and send child- ien ; Hud those Who pay H&tvy taxes and soud no children. We shfcil speak more particularly of the first two classes. Parents have HUties connected with the school which they only can dis­ charge. It is their first duty toseli that their children are at school every day; It is an erroneous idea that if a pupil is abfeeilt one-fifth of th8 time tit; loses only one-fiftii df the beueflt ot the school. His school life may properly be compared to a chain, each day be­ ing a link, Oertjtfnly no one w»uld expe<jt a strong perfect cliaiu wll«re every fifth link wsts wanting, and as thfc lessons ip our schools are so linked to­ gether that those of to-day fasten those of yesterday and predate those of to-morrb\V; U it not fully as unreason' abltf to expect a pupil in irrfegtilail: at­ tendance to do as well as they would with fcv#ry day improved ? The chain may be toggled and made to an­ swer some of the purposes for which it was intended bjyyt it will never be a good chain until it has the missing iug links inserted. So the pupil often leaves school with his cducaliHH tog­ gled and incomplete occasioned by non-attendance. There sire many things to prevent regulsir attendance, some unavoidable and others siiiipiv iuconveuient. Sickness cannot always he prevented, but tVhcn a child is too sick to attend school he ought not to wandtsr around towp nor gooff visiting hunting or fishing. Kveniug enter­ tainments, as Inhibitions, concerts and balls* are not proper places for one whose health will not permit his at- Leudslncto at school. Pupils should bo provided with suita­ ble bboks. The truth and justice of this proposition will not be questioned uyd yet;ther« are very few, if any. of olir schools where all Hlf the pupils are propel ly supplied. The general ex­ cuse is "bdoks cost so nHlch ,* and "every new teacher makes a change in the text-books/' A great deal is spent for useless books but most of that kllitl are not school books. Thfe actual expense of school books varies from one to five dollars per year. If your school is good for anything it ought to be worth that. The other proposition is not true sis teachers have no authority to change text-books. Pupils should be punctual. Parents should see that tlieir children start from home for school in time to g£t to the school house and ready for work at the ap­ pointed time. Tardy scholars not only annoy the teacher and ether pu- but they form a ruinous humt which is apt to cling to thCin through life. I'upii?; should be encouraged to studv at bottle; Soinfc Seem to be afraid that tlitir Children will over- sttuly. rl'here lisive been eafitfs of ot<!r- study and as consequence a sacrifice Of health. But tlieSe are exceptions* not the general rule. ihere are many Other things in which tlie parent may be a positive help; and for which ne is Wholly re­ sponsible, both morally and legally. And when people fully uuderstilud the needs and appreciate tho worth of a good school, there will be fewer poor ones. Let those^who think our schools cost too much first ascertain whether the money is spent judlt'iously or not* andifitisnot the remedy it in the hands of the voters, and should be used*' Select your best men for directors and they will hire ntfne but good teachers, then do your whole duty as parents and we shall hear less compliiiut, and have better schools. i*ED. BSAF'Thc work of planting eucalyptus or fever trees along the right of way of the Central and Southern Pacific rail­ ways. recently beguu,will ptobrtbly oc cupy about t*o years; They will be set out in triple rows along the entire leng. tli of both roads* and along the' brandies as fur as pr;icticable< The principal object is to secure a constant supply of the best possible tooftd far telegrapn poies and i"'ai]r'ostd sleepers* sis well as an increase in the amount of rain fall. Sleepers of Eucalyptus Roxtrata have been krto\trr to last over twelve years and have heretofore been imported from Austrsilia. Four distinct species will be plauted, congenial to as many ki uds of soil. Bucklitl A Stevens have a large stock of Clothing which they will sell at very low prices iu order to reduce stock. Tho msigazine-editors are often hard pressed for topics, being equally anxious to keep out of the beaten track of the daily press and to present tlibtig'hts that may have the appearance of freshness and vigor. In seeking for tlie latter quality thev sometimes em­ brace odd crotches and espouse unbound doctrines merely because they must write, litre Is Hr. Holland, for instance £etfously proposing in the March num­ ber of ScrUmer'a that a training-school for politicians be added to each of the Univ^fgities.' He suggests & regular system of instruction in a three years* course, and entirely ignores the circum­ stances that every college in the coun­ try worthy of the nsime already hsisfor one Ot its chief aiirts the makirig Of good citizeus; the tirrie Ou^ht to be far distant when any college Will at­ tempt toinake professional politicians. The skeleton of a crit walked into RyAn't store at Hohokus. Hy stn, seeing her* biwled out, "Mickey* didn't I tell ye a month ago to fstde that cat a pound of mate a day iititil ye hsid her fat? "Ye did* and I'm just fifther finding her a pound." "Has that cat Ate a pound this iriornitlgf' 4'Yes, sir," "Shure, 1 think it's a lie ye're telling. Bring mt the scale*. Now bring me that cat.' Tlife' caff, titrned the ticstles at exactly orte pottrtd. "There* didn't I tell ye she' \iM eaten a poririd of mate this rtfornin' ?" "All right nly boy* there's yef potnid off mate* but whefe the devil's thecal?" writ is slpt to shsJke a mart's corifl- tlcnce in his wife to Wake up in the' ear­ ly mottling and find her sitting on the edge Of the Wed, going through his poefeets.- And it is apt to shake a Wouu au'S Confidence in her husband to find nothing in those pockets but d lager beer check, a piece of bologna Satussige, a variety ticket,.and a perfuirted note sigued "Evw yours, Julia." An exchange ©fief's td taike slip- per^ elnrf bark oil subscription. We will take liver, and pigs feet and sawdust, but we never #111 come down to slip­ pery elui bark; There must be a divid­ ing lilt e souiefcrhere in tills garden truck business, and we make the line at sMp^ dory elm bark,--ba Crosse Sun.- WASHINGTON COR^K>ONTIEITCE, Smithsonian Institute, WASHINGTON, D.C:, March 5th 1877. Tills Slhithsoiilaa luSl:tlite, of Which Hstve read And hc.ird so much is. indeed, well worthy ttf attention. The histtif)'of its foundliig is ilS fblldtfs: James Smithson, an illegitimate son of Hugh, first tlUke of Noi;thltuiberlaiid, England, by birth a gentleman and by education a Scientist, died in Ggnbsi in 1&28, bfcqufekthitig hi& property; Vaihed at half a million bf <lollarsuo his neph­ ew upon COitditioh thill if the nephew, then in a hopeless Stage df consump­ tion, should die fcritHOht heirs, the property *hould go to the tiultted Stutes to.found an institution for the promotion and advancement of Science at tli® Capitol. The nephew soon dy­ ing the property passed to the Uitited" States and was accepted In 1836, kept on interest ten years, When Congress passed a law establishing the institu- tidh is it hbtv is and in 1847the corner stdne wis iaid in the presence of Pres­ ident Pblk and his Cabinet. 'I'Hil eoSt of the building was 9450,000 and it was nearly ten years befbre it was comple­ ted. Ten years aftef the whole upper pai*t was destroyed by fire afnd was re­ built in a lire-pfoof condition. Many valuable 'exhibits were destroyed in tiiis fire, many that cArt l.fcver be re­ placed including the fAttious Stanley Gsiller^' of India Paintings* and various personal effects of Mr. Smithson. 'J'lie btiliding h In a beautiful. Well-kept park knb^rn as tho "Smithsonian Grounds;" Comprising like other parks, varidUs kinds Of treeS and shrubberv« pleasant drive-wafrs, comfortable rest­ ing illaces, settees, rustic, chairs, Ac*, and near the centre, in a large opeu space apparently designed ftJi: that or some similar purpose, a band stand where All the year except duritig the winter mouths, the United States Marine Band give most enjoyable con­ certs one evening; in every week. There is always a special charm iu open air concerts but I never enjoyed ascharming oues as these; The institution itself; or tlie "Smith­ sonian" as it Is universally designated here, is a Urge building ot red sand stone with a tall roithd tower at one side that Itioks as if it hstd been left un­ finished or been broken efTso blunt and square at its top. Tlie whole consists of a Wnter building, two connecting ranges and cloister, and two wiiigs. It is symmetrical while it appears irreg- for no ttttf parts are similar. The in­ stitution is supported by tlie income of the fund given by Mr. Sufithson, and the Museum by the United Stattiif. The Secretary, Prof. Joseph Henry: resides with his family iu the east wing and has tiie generaicliarge and oversight of the entire institution. MAXWELL. GOOD HULK8L The following are good Ruldt an«f equally R^licable Ball kiUtls bf Wk nes*: Plesise lertve the door wide open; of™^ should you forget yourself and clueo II slam it like thunder. If the pH)priotor is'engagedtn convert sation. plesi.se lean your chair against the wall, silid whistle ibfc **Miilli^ilii Guards." If you can't whistle, King, of y drum your feet on the floor. Never neglect an opportunity to im« * prove your mind If the proprietor I* temporally absent, sit on the desk, pick your teeth with the gold pen' and read his letters. • : Smoking is partitiularlV Hgirt?eable. If volt are out of Hour ci^afs, yon will find a meerschsim and ki tiki nick tobaccd in the right-hantl drawer. If you see irny spittoons, expeCtorato - on the floor; they iire only fdr orna* ments. Our office Tiours for llstenthg to aollcs itors of subscriptioiiR, book agetitS and canva&fcH for the latest tlilhg out, are from 11 to 1. We atten^ to our owii business at night. We want abont a million dollairs in insurance. If you are acquainted with an agent who has not been here in the last hour, send hitn t6 morrow. ' But talk about something else h41f aq hour beforehand. Time isn't worth a cent to us; we dc our business nights. Persons having tiWfepe»jijii business with us, please csill as often M their health will permit, or send a physician's certificate iu case of abscence. Persons having caieiidiirs wili oblige its bf plac ing them in the basket uuder the desk until we get more commodious premi­ ses* People who come ih ai*f requested always to come behind the counter; we will stand aside at any time to giv# way for tlifctU at the desk. The desk side of the counter was made purposoly for visitors. If you don't see what yoii want lifett for it. If you are short ofkindling-wood, of toothpicks, t»ike the lead-pencils and pen-hblders you i?ee about; they are nd use to us; we don't keep house, and have no teeth. An Iowa paper Speaks tfafds that will tohch the heart-cords of every prin­ ter in the universe, from the biggest blunderer of a blacksmith to the sleek­ est Job-type sticker in existeuce. Tho words are as follows: There is something Hjffreshing in tho absolute astouishment thrtt •ii^itors to a printing otH(.*e sometimes display it the commonest things. "What is that blsick looking thing stan­ ding up iu that corner?" is sometimes sisked by an unsophisticated observer, stud the nesii-est typo answers: "That is the printing office towel. We always stand it up in that corner." JlS^in a thriving town iu AticHig4n a year or two ago, wiieu the country was fUll of agents, aud almost evervbodjf was agent for something or otlier.a cer­ tain child iu that town, being blessed, by the advent of a baby brotker, was very inquisitive as tc where the little stranger cauie from. On being Inform­ ed that tli«f doctor had brought it, ho stood i n a brown study for & few mo­ ments' and then, with the intelligent look of one Who had solved a very diffi­ cult insitter, asked. "Say, pa, is he tho age itt for them ?" A cotemporary say# one evid^rico of tlie "hard times" is seen iu the busi­ ness failures which are constantly tak­ ing place. Many men are like bricks le.iuing one sigainst rtnother--if on* falls others are sure to go down. But •how is it that honest men cau fail; pay their creditors little or nothing, aud yet retain their home comforts and seetn to have a competency, we don't quite understand. Too may go through brankruptcy while their "carriage goea rdiuiul."--Gotden Center. ALL this falling down on side­ walks is sheer nonsense." observed that old man; "it is worse than that--ic is downright csirelessuess. Now, when at man reaches a slippery pl:tce like this for instance, he must --»h --wow!-- wsili!--whoop!--gosh!" And when thsi old chap got through poundiug stones and splitting bosirds,*he lay on his back and lielplesslv inquired:"Is it 411 OTerj and aui I all here?" 8®-We hare seen actors apposir hi four pieees in one evening; but tM other day a man in Sing Sing, If. attempted to dig up a can nitre-glycer­ ine which he had planted ia his ba&tl yard for safe-keeping, and it is oitiaa-'l ted that he disappeared in a thotist pieces in a second, besides "bringing i down the house." The mimic tiag«| cannot compete with scones in real] life. - Call art the Fine Art Gallery of L. Sj Gorton,- over Perry & Martin's Store, and examine -his specimens. Good| Pfetftres or no pHy is hrs trteffto.